Jobs

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This is a list of every possible job to choose.

Please note!

While the job descriptions do reflect some actual truths or common behaviors/occurances, they are mainly jokes and are not the actual job description. They should not be taken as actual instructions or advice. Please don't randomly fight people as a staff assistant. Unless you're an antagonist of course.

In addition, if you're on the Goon Roleplay servers (Goonstation Roleplay 3: Morty and Goonstation Roleplay 4: Sylvester), you're expected to respect your job's boundaries and do your associated job duties. Mind you, you aren't expected to do them perfectly or know everything there is to them, just put in a good ol' college effort. You're not gonna, say, get banned for not knowing how reattach a limb as a doctor. See RP Rules in general and Rules #1 & #3 in particular for more details/explanations.

Goonstation Classic 1: Heisenbee is not subject to these restrictions, and you are thus allowed to do things not normally associated with your job, like repairing walls as a Chaplain or doing surgery as an Engineer. Naturally, you aren't expected be perfect either, and most people there are perfectly okay with that. However, things still get iffy and complicated if you want to perform duties normally done by Security Officers, like hunt down antags; when in doubt, adminhelp (Hotkey: F1) for clarification. And, of course, the Rules still apply.

Difficulty Rankings

The difficulty rankings on this page are based on two factors:

  • Expertise: The game knowledge and skills that are involved in this job, i.e. mechanical difficulty. This considers both depth and breadth/variety, and for "easy to pick up, hard to master" roles like Botanist, these tend to be placed on the lower end of the expertise scale.
  • Responsibility: The impact your actions, including your successes and failures, will have other players, i.e. social difficulty. Jobs where you need to obey special rulesets, like Head of Security, tend to be higher on the scale.

Good newbie jobs are often require little expertise and don't involve a lot of responsibility, e.g. Chef, Janitor. Some roles might be low on one scale but pretty high in another, e.g. as AI, you often perform simple tasks like opening doors, but following your silicon laws can get pretty complicated. Some jobs are pretty high on both factors. For example, a lot of people find Security Officer difficult because there are a lot of different skills involved, like putting someone in a Brig cell or recognizing what is/isn't considered a crime, and you sometimes need to juggle a lot of situations, where what you do/don't respond to and how you respond to them can significantly affect the flow of the round.

These difficulty ratings assume some average rounds. Your mileage may vary. You might have an extra-easy Security Officer round where nothing really happens and you mostly chill in the Bar, and you might have a super-hard Staff Assistant round where you're constantly fighting for your life and barely make it to the end alive.

Civilian Jobs

These are jobs that contribute to the crew's overall performance and efficiency, sometimes rarely. On the latejoin "Select a Job" and Job Preferences menus, these jobs are colored light blue, with the exception of Clown, which gets a gaudy hot pink.

Civilian Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
AssistantNew64.png Staff Assistant Produce mass quantities of bath salts in maint, be a nuisance, and ruin everything. Save the station when the nukies arrive. Scavenge the station for weapons and gear weed and pills. Be the first one to die. Easy Maintenance, Tech Storage
Chef64new.png Chef Accidentally get tomato-flooded by Botany. Deep-fry everything. Make non-Euclidean sandwiches. Place pies inside pies that contain pies. Easy Kitchen
ChaplainNew64.png Chaplain Steal corpses for funerals. Fart on your bible. Never be around when you are actually needed. Hand out bibles to monkeys. Become the Buddhist-Jewish-Christian-Muslim-Hindu-Atheist-Satanist prophet the station needs. Easy Chapel, Morgue
BartenderNew64.png Bartender Get drunk. Lose your liver and your shotgun in your drunken stupor. Become a victim of Russian Roulette two minutes into the round. Easy Bar
BotanistNew64.png Botanist Completely ignore the chef's requests; start a grow-op. Click your best plant yourself with a chainsaw. Petition the Captain to legalize marijuana. Get denied and make magic mushrooms instead. Easy to Medium Hydroponics, Maintenance
JanitorNew64.png Janitor Clean already clean floors; whine about beatings. Stuff everything into your trash cart. Clean up crime scenes before Security has a chance to investigate. Easy to Medium Janitor's Closet, Medbay, Morgue, Maintenance
MailmanV2-64x64.png Mail Courier
(Head of Deliverying, Mail Bringer)
Secure peace between dogs and mail carriers by delivering mail to a pugperson. Get stuck in a mail pipe while trying to return to your office. Easy Cargo Bay, Bridge, Medbay, Research Sector, Tech Storage, Where mail can be delivered!
Rancher2.png Rancher Yell "yeehaw!" and slide over railings in style. Make too many chickens and proceed to die to said chickens. Start a small army of raptors to attack those who cross you on the dusty trail. Easy to Medium Ranch, Hydroponics, Maintenance
ClownNew64.png Clown Trip on your own shoes; regret your existence immediately. Save the station when nobody expects it; get beaten for your efforts. Bully cluwnes to compensate for your terrible job. Consider going back to law school. H o n k ! Maintenance


Engineering Jobs

These jobs are charged with station upkeep and engineering support. On the latejoin "Select a Job" and Job Preferences menus, these jobs are colored orange yellow.

Engineering Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
EngineerCoatNew64.png Engineer Harness the power of a fire hotter than the sun, a black hole, earthquakes, giant rods in acid, or the atom to keep the lights on. Rebuild Medbay into a combination hospital/clubhouse/hotel/museum/chair storage facility after it blows up. Misplace your insulated gloves and find your spare pairs mysteriously missing. Easy to Medium Engineering, Maintenance, Mechanics Workshop, Tech Storage
MinerV3-64x64.png Miner Become a blind Swedish Elvis after a mishap with radioactive ore. Lose your butt in an explosion; use it to make a custom pick. Run out of air. Medium Mining Department, Mining Outpost, Maintenance
QuartermasterNew64.png Quartermaster Buy bees and booze. Blow the budget on exotic trinkets. Point and stare at the tourists in the Cargo Bay. Declare independence from the rest of the station. Medium Cargo Bay, Maintenance


Medical/Research Jobs

These jobs are charged with researching new, exciting technologies and breakthroughs as well as providing medical treatment. On the latejoin "Select a Job" and Job Preferences menus, these jobs are colored blue-purple/purple-blue.

Research Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
MedicalDoctorNew64.gif Medical Doctor Never heal anyone; whine when people take medkits. Practice brain surgery on yourself. Harvest monkey organs for cash. Join the round 30 minutes late just to find out you're the only doctor. Discover that Medbay has been looted and bombed. Perform a heart transplant while drunk and high. Focus all medical efforts on the Bar. Medium Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Maintenance
Genetics wiki big.gif Geneticist Make volunteers Skeleton Swedish Elvis. Fight a losing battle against lab monkeys sentient lab monkeys. Ignore animal experimentation laws. Fail to create a bee-human hybrid. Commit crimes against humanity. Become god, then lose the ability to speak. Easy to Medium Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Genetics, Maintenance
RoboticistNew64.png Roboticist Steal all the butts for buttbots. Demand skulls for the skull throne. Give a botanist chainsaw arms. Get murdered by the Cyborgs you built. Build yourself a friend; leave them on the station when the escape shuttle arrives. Annoy the medical director to let you build a second AI. Medium Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Robotics, Maintenance
ScientistV3-64x64.png Scientist Ignore the Artifact Lab. Synthesize nerve agents and drugs without a gas mask. Steal the AI using Telescience. Heat the burn mix canister; burn to death in a massive fire. Test dangerous concoctions on monkeys. Gain the undying loyalty of staff assistants with triple meth. Attract the love and hate of everyone. Attempt to combine every drug into one pill. Medium to Hard Artifact Lab, Chemistry, Toxins Research, Toxins Storage, Research Sector, Teleporter Lab


Command/Security Jobs

These jobs are the administration of the station. They manage the station and ensure everyone is safe and productive. On the latejoin "Select a Job" and Job Preferences menus, Security jobs are colored red, with the exception of the Nanotrasen Security Consultant, which is blue, while Command ones are green.

Command/Security Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
SecurityAssistantNew64.png Security Assistant Ticket everything that moves and occasionally things that don't. Accost the Chef for more doughnuts; lose them to the Clown. Medium Security, Brig, Maintenance, Firearms Carry Permit, Handling of Contraband Permit
SecurityOfficerNew64.gif Security Officer Do your job correctly, only to arouse anger from those you've sworn to protect. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later and get farted on until you quit. Get the respect of a mall cop. Underappreciated (Hard) Security, Security Equipment, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors, Chemistry, Maintenance, Hydroponics, Cargo Bay, Firearms Carry Permit, Handling of Contraband Permit
DetectiveNew64.png Detective Have your vital gear stolen by someone. Have one too many at the Bar. Monologue the farts of you and your crew. Force journalists and tourists to follow you around. Easy to Hard Detective's Office, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors, Maintenance, Firearms Carry Permit, Handling of Contraband Permit
NanotrasenSecurityOperativeWithSuit68.gif Nanotrasen Security Consultant Arrive to bring order to chaos. Find you don't have enough order for all the chaos. Wind up just calling the escape shuttle instead. Tickle the Clown with your gun to pass the time. Medium to Hard Bridge, Security, Security Equipment, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors, Chemistry, Maintenance, Hydroponics, Cargo Bay, Firearms Carry Permit, Handling of Contraband Permit)
ChiefEngineer64.png Chief Engineer Put the safety of the station in jeopardy in the name of profit. Suffocate in areas you're too lazy to repair. Medium Engineering, Mechanics Workshop, Cargo Bay, Mining Department, Mining Outpost, Teleporter, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance
MedicalDirectorNew64.png Medical Director Get less respect than a cardboard box. Anesthetize patients with your gun. Donate Sell all your blood. Assign all your doctors to the gym. Medium Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Pathology, Teleporter, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance
ResearchDirectorV2-64x70.png Research Director Sell "medicinal" drugs for cash. Accidentally delete the network. Explode into spiders. Medium to Hard Research, Artifacts, Toxins Research, Toxins Storage, Chemistry, Telescience, Teleporter, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance
HeadOfSecurityV2-64x64.gif Head of Security Get rehired; remind everyone why you were fired in the first place. Stomp your hat. Put an end to any and all fun. Nightmarish Make your own Captain-level ID (plus Head of Security's Office, Armory)
HeadOfPersonnelV2-64x66.png Head of Personnel Hand off your responsibilities to anyone willing. Steal Acquire the captain's energy gun. Disappear immediately and forever. Medium to Hard Make your own Captain-level ID
CaptainNew64.gif Captain Shoot your cat. Reprogram the AI and become Double Captain. Confiscate all drugs, alcohol, and cash. Hand off your job to the clown as soon as trouble arrives. Promote Beepsky to Head of Security. Embezzle all of the payroll money. Make bee-harming illegal. All-Access Staff Assistant (Medium to Hard) Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)


Antagonist Roles

These are the enemies of the station. They commit murder and outrageous acts of violence against the crew.

Some antags are so bad, they have their own game modes.

Antagonist Roles With a Mode of Their Own
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
TraitorNew64.png Traitor Buy a glowy sword. Hit yourself with the glowy sword. Be the villain the station deserves. Medium to Hard Depends on job
NukeopHeavyNew64.png Nuclear Operative Speak over 145.9 two minutes in. Get shot by your own teammates. Spend 30 minutes discussing a detailed plan, then explode before setting foot on the station. Hard Maintenance, Listening Post, Syndicate Battlecruiser
ArmoredSalvager.png Salvager Break the station into worthless scrap; sell it for slightly better worthless scrap. Get thrown in the engine combustion chamber by a mob of angry engineers. Easy to Hard Just break the walls
WizardNew64.gif Wizard Run around trying to kill everyone; get electrocuted by the AI. Whine, respawn, repeat. Easy Walk through walls
AbominationAnimated64x96.gif Changeling Try to eat the chef's monkeys. Turn your victims into friends. Do a drive-by sting and get someone else brigged. Go loud, then get shoved in the gibber while on fire. Easy to Hard Depends on job, pry doors open (shambler)
BlobOvermind64.png Blob Expand. Absorb the crew. Destroy everything. Attract plasma fires, flamethrowers, and pod lasers like a magnet. All-consuming Irrelevant
GangLeaderV2-64x68.png Gang Leader Spawn your closet outside Security. Create a drug cartel. Get beat with a mop for spray painting the AI. Forget to buy Janktank II then die 10 minutes in. Easy to Hard Depends on job
GangMemberV2-64x66.png Gangster Get high off your own cat drugs. Shake down the Head of Personnel for the budget. Hunt down every tip off only to find Security beat you to it because of those damn rats. Brutally murder other bustas. Easy to Medium Depends on job
HeadRevolutionaryV2-64x64.png Revolutionary Head Inspire the people. Overthrow the heads of staff. Get your expensive revflash knocked out of your hand. Easy to Hard Depends on job
Revolutionary-64x64.png Revolutionary Greytide to your heart's content. Attempt to bring the spirit of Che Guevera to the station; channel Maximilien Robespierre instead. Easy to Hard Depends on job
SpyThiefV2-64x64.png Spy Thief Attempt to claim your bounty in the Bridge, only to find the Captain waiting there with a gun. Get yourself killed trying to photograph someone's butt. Claim every secret gadget; don't use any of them. Easy to Hard Depends on job
VampireV2-64x64.png Vampire Steal IV bags from Medbay. Make an army of braindead thralls. Turn into a bat. Easy to Hard Depends on job, can fly through doors in the bat form
VampThrallV3-64x64.png Thrall Moan creepily. Argue with the other thralls over who gets to nibble on victims. Get bopped by the janitor for spreading blood everywhere. Easy to Hard Depends on job
Arcfiend64x64.PNG Arcfiend Steal all the electricity. Zoom around in power cables. Hit and run zap the crew. Fight changelings and become the ultimate antihero. Medium Depends on job, travel through power cables
Featherdrone-flockmind.gif Flockmind Shout indecipherable nonsense at the AI. Get completely ignored. Boss around your drones. Get completely ignored. CAW! Irrelevant


Some antagonists don't have their own modes and thus less common. Others only appear under certain circumstances.

Antagonist Roles Without Their Own Mode
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
WerewolfV2-64x68.png Werewolf Appearance: Mixed (Action) mode
Run around with a top hat. Howl at the ice moon.
Hard Pry doors open
WraithV2-64x64.png Wraith Appearance: Traitor and Mixed (Action) modes
Spook the crew's guts out. Get shot in the face when you manifest to gloat. Repeat once.
Salty Irrelevant
Poltergeist64.png Poltergeist Appearance: Traitor and Mixed (Action) modes
Write "FART" out in blood in front of the Chapel. Fill the living's PDAs with cheesy messages. Die (again) after straying too far from wraith master.
Ghastly Float through walls
WrestlerV2-64x64.png Wrestler Appearance: Mixed (Action) mode
Wrestle everybody and everything. Who needs that belt anyway?
Medium Depends on job
PredatorV2-64x64.png Hunter Appearance: Intruder Alert event
Hunt the crew for trophies. Get murdered by cyborgs in ten minutes or less.
Hard Pry doors open
HardmodeTraitorNew64.png Sleeper Agent Appearance: Sleeper Agents Signal event
Look up to the big boys; cry yourself to sleep because you don't get any of their- hey, wait a minute.
Medium Depends on job
HumanFire64.png Fire Elemental Appearance: Hostile Critter event
Lounge around the hot loop. Run in fear from fire extinguishers.
Medium None (use Fire Form)
Gunbot64.png Gunbot Appearance: Hostile Critter event
Shoot ALL the monkeys. Make Terminator references.
Medium None
BabySpider64.png Spider Appearance: Hostile Critter event
Turn the Monkey Dome into a Spider Dome. Brandish eight knives at once.
Medium None
GrinchMitch.png Grinch Appearance: Christmas season
Destroy all the garland. Have your poisoned donuts forcefed to you.
Mean Depends on job
KrampusAnimated.gif Krampus Appearance: Christmas season, special spawn
Save the crew by disarming the c-saber from the naughty child; get gibbed by Santa anyways.
Naughty None


Special Roles

Special roles for players.

Special Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
{{{imgwidth}}}px AI Open doors. Get bored. Get given a new law by someone. Retract airbridges. Purge all the nonhumans. Psychologically devastating Everything
CyborgV3-64x64.gif Cyborg Ignore the AI. Play dress-up. Write "fart" in tiles at escape. Run out of power. Medium Everything
MonkeyResprite64.png Monkey Become the chef's assistant. Get put on the spike for sandwich pizza pie. Nightmarish Depends on job, clamber over tables, climb into mail chutes
CluwneNew64.png Cluwne THE RINGMASTER DOESN'T RUN THE CIRCUS... HONK!!!! KILL ME PLEASE IT HURTS TO LIVE HONK HONK!!! Whatever ID you used to have, assuming no enterprising thieves steal it
GhostV3-64x64.png Ghost Whine in deadchat. Desperately try to make Robotics and Genetics remember your corpse. Show off your haircut. Give advice to the local poltergeist. Spooky Irrelevant
Drone64x64.png Ghost Drone Repair stuff. Get a shit hat put on you by some shadow. Attempt to take it off. Fail. Suicide out of misery. Easy Engineer, squeeze through doors
RoachNew64.png Critter Drink beer. Nibble food. Steal crayons. Get squished. Easy Depends on the critter.
SantaClausV2-64x64.png Santa Claus Flood the station with presents and snacks. Spread the magic of Christmas/Spacemas wherever you go. Jolly None, use Spacemas Warp
Kudzuperson.png Kudzuperson Befriend the Botanists. Make art with inactive kudzu. See paranoid crew burn it away. Green None


Job of the Day

Every day of week one of these jobs will be available to people who join after the round has started.

Note: Job titles in italics are alternative job titles, which are sometimes used in replacement of the standard one.

Job of the Day
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Dungeoneer64x64.png Monday:
Dungeoneer
Try to gather players for your favorite tabletop RPG. Get blown up by someone with a different kind of RPG. Easy Maintenance
BarberV2-64x64.png Tuesday:
Barber
Try to give a man a trim; end up scalping them instead. Give a bald man an afro with barber magic. Dye it pink. Cut it off and wear it. Repeat. Get arrested for stealing the Head of Security's hair. Easy Maintenance
WaiterV2-64x64.png Wednesday:
Waiter
Relay your customer's orders to the kitchen; receive nothing but silence. Slip on a pool of vomit. Easy Kitchen, Bar
LawyerV2-64x66.png Thursday:
Lawyer
Have your suitcase stolen; represent the thief in court. Accidentally let the changeling escape while trying to interview them for their case. Take the vampire's muzzle off so he can give his statement. Easy Morgue, Maintenance
TouristNew64.png Friday:
Tourist
Run around taking photos of the floor. Get mugged by someone. Space yourself within minutes. Easy None
MusicianV2-64x64.png Saturday:
Musician
Lay down some smooth jams. Sell your soul for a gold-plated fiddle only to lose it in a gambling match. Have a rap-off with a brobocop; lose terribly. Easy None
BoxerV2-64x64.png Sunday:
Boxer
Punch a monkey in the face. Wind up in Medbay with several bandage wounds. Wind up in Medbay again after endorsing and consuming several questionable food and culinary products coming from the Kitchen. Easy Maintenance


Gimmick Jobs

All these jobs are exclusively available to those who join a round after it starts, though slots are still limited, of course. They don't have very much of a job, leaving them to get into whatever antics they wish. On the latejoin "Select a Job" menu, they appear under the "Special Jobs" header. (Try not to read too much into that), usually in cyan, alongside a slot for Mime and Radio Host.

Note: Job titles in italics are alternative job titles, which are sometimes used in replacement of the standard one.

Slots for the these particular jobs always appear every round.

Gimmick Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
RadioHostV2-64x64.png Radio Show Host (Talk Show Host) Host a radio show to keep the crew entertained. Be ignored. Play fart music out of boredom. Easy Maintenance, Tech Storage
MimeNew64.png Mime Raid the Chapel for the alternate mime outfit. Attempt to explain how your vow of silence is not a vow at all in screams and farts. Get shot in the face while typing your custom emote. . . . Maintenance
TechassistantNew.png Technical Assistant Steal insulated gloves from Engineering. Wonder why you have the same access as a regular Staff Assistant. Easy Tech Storage, Maintenance
MedicalAssistantNew.png Medical Assistant Take the spare Defibrillator from Medbay; disarm everyone. Whine about your lack of access to proper medical supplies. Easy Medbay, Maintenance, Tech Storage
ResearchAssistantNew.png Research Assistant Ask the real science boys to let you play with plasma gas. Flex your Maintenance access, only rivalled by The Boss. Easy Research Sector, Chemical Lab, Telescience, Toxins Research, Maintenance, Tech Storage

The game also has slots for a random selection of the following jobs.

Randomly-Appearing Gimmick Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
VIPNew68.png VIP (Senator, President, Board Member, Mayor, Vice-President, Governor) Indulge in rampant corporate scandal. Hire random thugs as bodyguards. Get overthrown by security. Have drinks with the Captain. Medium Bridge, Handling of Contraband Permit
PharmacistV2-64x64.png Pharmacist Synthesize "safe" and "effective" medication. Sell them to clueless assistants. Create Strange Reagent all day, every day. Easy Research Corridors, Chemistry, Medbay, Morgue, Tech Storage, Maintenance
UnionRepV2-64x64.png Union Rep Demand equal rights for staff assistants. Get arrested for inciting a mob. Medium None
DiplomatV3-64x64.gif Diplomat (Ambassador) Try to establish peaceful relations between humans and skeletons as murderous skeletons roam the station. Medium Bridge (always), AI Upload & AI Chamber (depending on map)
SalesmanV2-64x64.png Salesman (Merchant) Start a black market; find no one willing to buy your wares. Get subsequently looted. Easy None
JournalistV2-64x64.png Journalist Pursue the next big scoop. Ask the saber-wielding traitor if he has time for some questions. Tip your hat; explode. Easy None
CoachV2-64x66.png Coach Blow your whistle at people. Try playing dodgeball using wrenches. FEEL THE BURN. Easy None
SousChefV2-64x64.png Sous Chef Criticize the chef's cooking skills. Get hit over the head with a rolling pin. Easy Kitchen
ApiaristNew64.png Apiculturist (Apiarist) Bees. Bees. Everywhere. Easy Hydroponics, Maintenance
PsychologistV2-64x64.png Psychologist (Therapist, Psychotherapist, Psychiatrist, Counselor, Life Coach) Cover the Clown in gold star stickers. Prescribe amphetamines for every problem. Succumb to madness. Easy Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Maintenance
TestSubjectV2-64x64.png Test Subject Become an unlikely hybrid of Doctor Zaius and Superman. Attempt to advocate for monkey rights. Accidentally bop into a wall while attempting to jump over a table. Hard None, hop over tables, climb into mail chutes
InspectorV2-64x64.png Inspector Criticize everyone at every possible opportunity. Get toolboxed by ungrateful crew members. Medium Medbay, Robotics, Genetics, Research Sector, Chemistry, Plasma Research, Bridge, Computer Core, Bar, Kitchen, Hydroponics, Cargo Bay, Security, EVA, Maintenance
HollywoodActorV2-64x64.png Hollywood Actor Attempt to channel your inner Rambo in the face of danger. Fail horribly. Easy None
MedicalSpecialistV2-64x64.png Medical Specialist

(Neurological Specialist, Ophthalmic Specialist, Thoracic Specialist, Orthopaedic Specialist, Maxillofacial Specialist, Vascular Specialist, Anaesthesiologist, Acupuncturist, Medical Director's Assistant)

Accidentally drop your scalpel inside the patient's chest; consider it lost and stitch it closed. Help a Staff Assistant become a literal buttface. Medium Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Pathology, Maintenance
AnglerV3.png Angler Yell at the quartermaster for your gear. End up fishing in a Bathtub. Litter the halls with fish instead of giving it to the chef. Embark on the most dangerous of expeditions for fish. Come back to save the station when trouble arrives with a fish.
FlounderReaction.webp
Hydroponics, Ranch, Maintenance
Artist-64x64.png Artist Scribble on the floor. Plan out and bring to life incredibly detailed murals only to weep in despair as the Janitor drives over them with a floor buffer and undoes an hour and a half of work in less than ten seconds. Punish anyone who dares press their right mouse button. Easy None
FoodCritic-64x64.png Food Critic Try to recreate an episode of Iron Chef and end up passed out on the floor after you're served an uncooked deep dish pizza with apples and histamine sauce. Participate in the Sisyphean ritual of trying to keep the Kitchen from turning into an ant farm. Easy None
PestControlSpecialist-64x64.png Pest Control Specialist Kill harmless ghost mice while an ethereal fly terrorizes the Bar for half an hour. Get mauled by a space bear fifteen minutes into the round. Easy None
PodMechanic-64x64.png Pod Mechanic (Submarine Mechanic) Build pods and watch as they disappear one by one. Repeatedly run the fabricator dry of raw materials. Immediately vanish into the Debris Field, never to be seen or heard from again. Easy None
PhoneMerchant-64x64.png Phone Merchant Try in vain to sell something that the entire station already has for free. Give up and build your phones in funny places instead. Easy None

Admin Intervention

This is stuff that's either still in development, more or less abandoned for the time being, niche, used for events, or is entirely too ridiculous to be a regular feature.

Gimmick Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
OmniTraitorV2-64x64.gif Omnitraitor Spit acid, cast fireballs, summon bats, hit people with your sword - all at the same time! Trivial Pry doors open, walk through walls
ZombieV2-64x64.png Zombie Moan for brains over the radio. Get beaten by a mob. Apocalyptic Depends on job
MachoManNew64.png Macho Man MACHO MADNESS, SKYYYY'S THE LIMIT! GUARANTEED VICTORY YEAH
SyndicateSpecialOperativeV3-64x64.png Syndicate Special Operative Get shot by your own team-mates. Slip over your own blood, lose your rifle to an Assistant. Explode. Turkey Shoot to Cannon Fodder Everything (plus Listening Post and Syndicate Battlecruiser, but minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)
NanotrasenSpecialOperativeV3-64x64.png Nanotrasen Special Operative Fire you gun incessantly just to hear it pew-pew. Lose your laser assault rifle to a Clown. Defeat an ancient eldritch monster from the stars, only to die of suffocation. Contra to X-COM Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)
{{{imgwidth}}}px Pod War Pilot Get lost somewhere out in space. Play propaganda over UVB-67's radio, only to have UVB-67 fall into the hands of the enemy. Don't do any mining for your team. Hard Everything (Minus enemy cruiser)
BATTLERV2-64x64.png Battler Spend your syndie donks on Space damage. Get attacked while waiting for the lootbox opening animation to finish. Escape, only to die to a BATTLE STORM. April Fool Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)
Slasher.gif The Slasher Be the horror movie killer of your dreams with all sorts of spooky powers. Use said powers just to stab people, then possess people so you can stab more people. Horrific Go incorporeal and phase through anything.
Floorgoblin.png Floor Goblin Run around under floors. Steal shoes. Get killed by an angry shoeless mob with crowbars. Painfully easy Travel under floors and doors
ConspiratorV2-64x64.png Conspirator Get lost on the way to the Aviary. Attempt to regroup at the Bar; get too drunk to actually do any sinister deeds. Be ignored by your fellow conspirators. Medium Depends on job


Spooktober Jobs

These jobs appear during October and sometimes the days preceding it. They're accessible exclusively for people who join after the round's started. They all have a distinct orange hue in the Select a Job menu.

Spooktober Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
BlueClownNew64.png Blue Clown Conspire with the non-blue Clown to prank the entire Security department. Get your mask and shoes stolen by the Head of Security; end up using the other clown's spare set. Regret your existence. H o n k ! Maintenance
CandySalesmanV2-64x68.png Candy Salesman Eat all your candy and wind up in diabetic coma. Wake up to find your purple top hat stolen. Attempt to buy magic beans from the Wizard; get exploded by a quark-gluon plasma golem instead. Easy None
PumpkinHeadV2-64x68.png Pumpkin Head Try to crackle like a supervillian over the radio despite your constricted larynx. Get ignored. Lose yourself in a THC-coma after barging into Hydroponics to raise a pumpkin army to enact your revenge. Easy Maintenance, Tech Storage
WannaBEEV2-64x64.png WannaBEE Vomit bees everywhere you go. Dye your hair different colors to get a rainbow of bees. Accidentally punch one of them; die in a flurry of stings. Buzz buzz! Hydroponics, Maintenance
DiscountDraculaV3-64x68.png Discount Dracula Throw wine glasses at people. Get accused of being a vampire and escape to maintenance to hide with cloak of darkness. Get bitten by an actual Vampire who mistakes you for a fellow bloodsucker. Easy Maintenance
DiscountWerewolfV2-64x66.png Discount Werewolf Try to explain you're not actually a werewolf as paranoid botanists pelt you with wolfsbane. Accidentally befriend the real deal. Easy Maintenance
DiscountMummyV2-64x66.png Discount Mummy Build yourself a "tomb" in the Chapel. Moan about "returning the slab". Cut yourself up with scissors so medbay can cover you with more bandages. Easy Maintenance
HotDogV2-64x64.png Hot Dog Embark on an epic quest to become the hottest dog. Pester the Chef and Cargo for more condiments. Get eaten by a changeling. Easy Maintenance
DiscountGodzillaV2-64x64.png Discount Godzilla Team up with fellow reptiles to produce your own Godzilla movie. Roar at people until you get ticketed by security for terrible acting. Easy Maintenance
DiscountMachoManV2-64x64.png Discount Macho Man Endlessly quote Randy Savage. Challenge someone to go to the Gym and fight you in the ring; get ignored. Lose a fight to a monkey. Easy Maintenance
SpooktoberGhostV2-64x64.png Ghost Get your bedsheet stolen by the Ghost Buster; end up chasing them through the station naked. Attempt to spook the crew by hiding in the hallways with your chameleon cloak; get shot in the face instead. Spot something peculiar through your ghost goggles... Easy N/A (Start with no ID)
GhostBusterV3-64x64.png Ghost Buster Get arrested by Beepsky because you don't have a license for your ectoplasmic disintegrator; have it stolen by a Staff Assistant when you're down. Get chased by the Ghost. Discover a Wraith through your goggles but get beaten by a possessed fire-extinguisher before you can do anything. Easy Maintenance
AngelV2-64x64.png Angel Attempt to convince the Chaplain to curb on the blood sacrifices. Save a person from critical condition by using your healing touch; enter crit yourself when it backfires. See them enter crit anyways and succumb. Easy Chapel, Chapel Office, Morgue, Crematorium
CostumeVendorV2-64x64.png Costume Vendor Hawk your oddly-colored costumes to the crew. Put on the abomination costume during a shuttle ride. Get thrown out the airlock while an actual changeling enters shambler mode. Easy None
DiscountSuperheroV2-64x64.png Discount Vigilante Superhero Deflect questions about your costumes by showing off your super healing or resistance to fire/cold/radiation/hard vacuum. Shoot stun lasers/ice beams/your limbs at monkeys. Bite off more than you chew and narrowly escape only due to your adrenaline-induced super speed. Wonder why you took your training. Easy Maintenance, Tech Storage
Plushes.gif Plush Toy Be like Gnome Chompski but spooky. Liberate your less scary friends from the Four-Fingered Tyrant. [Remain silent] (Easy) None
Pickle32x.png Pickle Pickle-ify everything. Convince the Chef and Botanists to create a pickle factory. Befriend the biggest pickle of them all. Easy Maintenance, Tech Storage

In addition, there are a handful of Spooktober jobs that require you to be part of the Mentor team, which requires 3 months of experience and filling out this application. (Or, be an admin, but admins have no job restrictions, so it's kind of a given.) This is less a privilege and more a precaution; when these jobs were first implemented, a lot of people wound up committing grief because they were under the impression that being a critter was equivalent to being an antag, which is not true at all. This problem was persistent enough that the developers decided to add a mentor requirement, since those people are supposed to know better about the Rules.

Spooktober Jobs That Require Mentor Status
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Remy.png Remy Create the ultimate ratatouille, just like your namesake. Murder spooky rats to make soup. *squeak* (Easy) None
Bumblespider.png Bumblespider Use all your hand slots to smoke eight cigarettes at once. Become the ultimate hug machine. *coos* (Easy) None
Crow64.png Crow Stand ominously around corpses. Embark on an epic quest to explain to the crew the difference between ravens and crows. CAW! (Easy) None

Discontinued Jobs

Jobs that are no longer available to players. Most of these still exist in the code and could be re-enabled by an Admin with varying amount of effort.

Discontinued Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
EliteSecurityNew.png Elite Security Gave players more power to punish each other; re-enacted the Stanford Prison Experiment immediately. Broke every article of the Geneva convention. Hard Everything
ChemistNew.png Chemist Blew up the station with nothing but potato chips and water. Drove admins to drink. Easy to Hard Chemistry, Research Sector
JobspyNew.png Spy Tried to fix what was wrong with Rev. Turned the station into Thunderdome anyway. Hard Depended on job
Intruder64.png Intruder Attempted to re-enact the The Colour Out of Space. Discontinued by higher inscrutable powers before it could even land. Eldritch Float through walls
MartianNew.gif Martian Harvested the station crew for meat and turned them into fellow spaghetti monsters. Abandoned due to spaghetti code. Squishy None
WelderNew.png The Welder Stabbed people. Horrified coders. Easy None (Use Open nearby doors, ghost through via Welder Ghost)
EngineerNew64.png Construction Worker Converted half of the station's flooring into wood and sand tiles. Wished they could convert the other half. Sent back to the drafting boards. Easy Engineering, Maintenance
DevilV2-64x68.png Devil Taught crew members the forbidden art of jugglemancy through Faustian contracts for Spooktober. Taught grief instead despite not being an antagonist. Easy Chapel, Chapel Office, Morgue, Crematorium
ViceOfficerV2-64x66.gif Part-Time Vice Officer Raided Botany; smoked their weed. Raided the Kitchen; ate their burgers. Dismissed due to redundancy. Medium Security, Brig, Hydroponics, Kitchen, Bar, Maintenance, Firearms Carry Permit, Handling of Contraband Permit
CommunicationsOfficerNew64.png Communications Officer
(Manta only)
Played farty music over the radio. Established themselves as a talk show host, found no one to talk to. Got blown up when someone bombed the comms office to take out the comms tower. Retired when Manta was decomissioned. Easy Medbay, Robotics, Genetics, Research Sector, Chemistry, Plasma Research, Bridge, Computer Core, Bar, Kitchen, Hydroponics, Cargo Bay, Security, EVA, Maintenance
HeadSurgeonNew.png Head Surgeon Played wannabe Medical Director. Constantly got fired and hired by NanoTrasen throughout the years. Medium Bridge, Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Pathology, Maintenance
AtmosphericTechnicianNew64.png Atmospherish Technician Constantly corrected people on their job title. Convinced the crew to collect fart gas. Attempted to discover why Horizon still had air alarms, wound up disappearing too when the ship vanished into thin air. Easy EVA, Maintenance
MechanicNew64.png Mechanic Scanned ALL the things. Built the most (needlessly) elaborate door bell for their workshop. Became the ultimate hackerman and got their engineering degree. Medium Mechanics Workshop, Maintenance, Tech Storage
HardmodeTraitorNew64.png Hard-Mode Traitor Murdered Heisenbee in cold blood. Stole everything not nailed down and sometimes the nails too. Fired for redundancy. Medium to Hard Depends on job
RegionalDirectorV2-64x64.png Regional Director Pretended to be important; got their all-access ID looted immediately. Was fired—permanently. Medium Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)
DrugDealerV2-64x64.png Drug Dealer Ate the tasty snacks that they started with. Spread the unholy creations of the dark scholars. Pondered why "drug dealer" is an official job title and paid position, fired after failing to produce a satisfactory answer by the deadline. Easy None

Jobs on Space Station 13
Command &
Security
Captain · Head of Security · Head of Personnel · Chief Engineer · Research Director · Medical Director · Security Officer · Detective · Security Assistant · Nanotrasen Security Consultant
Medical &
Research
Geneticist · Roboticist · Scientist · Medical Doctor
Engineering Quartermaster · Miner · Engineer
Civilian Chef · Bartender · Botanist · Rancher · Janitor · Chaplain · Mail Courier · Staff Assistant · Radio Host · Clown · Gimmick jobs
Jobs of the Day Dungeoneer · Barber · Waiter · Lawyer · Tourist · Musician · Boxer
Antagonist Roles With own mode Arcfiend · Blob · Changeling · Gang Member · Flockmind · Nuclear Operative · Spy Thief · Traitor · Revolutionary · Vampire · Wizard
Others Grinch · Hunter · Krampus · Werewolf · Wraith · Wrestler · Zombie · Gimmick antagonist roles
Special Roles Artificial Intelligence · Battler · Cluwne · Critter · Cyborg · Ghost · Ghostdrone · Monkey · Santa Claus