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The Space Wizard Federation has gotten their beards in a twist about something, and decided to send their most powerful Archmage to destroy Space Station 13. Unfortunately, he was busy, so they sent some idiot instead. Of course, even a bad wizard is still capable of bending reality to his (or her! The Federation has witches too!) whims. Compared to other jerks you may encounter on the station, wizards can be a most dangerous antagonist in terms of fighting off large numbers of crew at once, but they don't have much in the way of subtlety due to the theatrics and whimsy space magic.


The wizard's den and homebase.

In addition to the basic gear every wizard spawns with, there's a variety of miscellaneous supplies and machinery to be found on the shuttle.

Item Image Description
Wizard's hat
Comes in different colors. All hats and robes are magically enhanced, making it harder for the crew to strip you naked in an instant.
Wizard's robe
You cannot cast any spells if you don't have your complete magical outfit (hat and robe). The robes are also surprisingly cold-resistant. Together with the hat, they keep you from freezing in Space and hull breaches.
Magic sandals
Keeps the wearer from slipping on ice and from falling down after being hit by a runaway segway. They also double as galoshes. Magically enhanced just like your robes and hat, so it is extraordinarily difficult for crew to strip these off of you.
Wizard's staff
Your spells will be greatly weakened, not last as long, and take longer to recharge if you cast them without one of these.
Staff of Cthulhu
Optional enchantment, see explanation below.
Your very own magical book to chose spells from. It is attuned to your person and cannot be used by another wizard or somebody dressed as one.
Teleportation scroll
Allows instant teleportation to an area of your choice. It is very common for players to open up the teleport menu and simply leave it up with the wizard's den selected. This lets them zip back if they're ever in trouble. The scroll has four charges.
Wizardry 101
The basic ingame equivalent of this wiki page.
Mugwort tea
See Chemistry.
'Every Flavour' jellybeans
EveryFlavourBeans.png EveryFlavourBean.png
Six generic jellybeans to make golems from, with a chance of containing almost any reagent in the game. Usually this is nothing but sugar, but occasionally it can be a mildly dangerous reagent such as porktonium, and rarely something incredibly dangerous like secret chems. They can't be extracted using Reagent Extractors (it will always come out as sugar this way), but you can still see the beans' contents before using them by stealing a reagent scanner.
MagiVend & Magical wardrobe
MagiVend.png RedCloset.png
Both contain spare staves and magical clothing.
Magix System IV
Controls the shuttle's outer airlock and built-in teleporter, which has unlimited uses but has to recharge after every one.
Magic mirror
Shows the objectives of all magic users in any given round when examined by a wizard. Intended to promote a little bit of teamwork.

Available spells

Wizards pay for their spells in so-called magic points, and you get four to spend as you see fit. Under normal circumstances, you can't refund/return spells, though you can ask an Admin to swap them out if you've accidentally picked the wrong one.

None of these spells can be used while unconscious though they can be used while stunned or weakened. You can't cast them in the chapel, and handcuffs are a concern because you're unable to hold a staff in your hand.

To cast any of your chosen spells, simply click on the associated icon in the top left corner. If you have tooltips on, you can also place your mouse over them to get a short description of the spell's effects and, more importantly, the amount of time left in the cooldown.


Passive buffs that increase your fighting ability or odds of survival in some manner.

Name Cost Description
Staff of Cthulhu 1 The crew will normally steal your staff and run off with it to cripple your casting abilities, but that doesn't work so well with this version. Any non-wizard dumb enough to touch or pull the Staff of Cthulhu takes massive brain damage and is knocked down for quite a while, and hiding the staff in a closet or somewhere else is similarly ineffective given that the owner can summon it to his active hand at will. It also makes a much better bludgeoning weapon than the regular staff, hitting harder and occasionally inflicting brain damage. Taking this effectively sacrifices a spell slot, however, which may not be worth it.
Soulguard 1 Soulguard is basically a one-time "do-over" that teleports you back to the wizard shuttle in the event that you die, respawning you in a new body and completely naked. However, the enchantment doesn't trigger if your body has been gibbed or otherwise destroyed. Also note that wizards can prepare teleportation spells for pre-casting fairly easily. Unless you're really afraid of getting instantly knocked into critical by something like a chemical reaction or explosion, you may want to hold on soulguard and use the spell slot for something else.


Icon Name Cooldown Cost While stunned? Description Effect w/o staff
WizardIconClairvoyance.png Clairvoyance 60 seconds Free States the general location of a target, even if they're inside a closet or similar container. The chaplain and people standing in the chapel will block your attempt to pinpoint them. Takes longer to recharge.
WizardIconPhaseShift.png Phase shift 30 seconds Free Lets you simply move through walls, doors, and whatever other detritus that sits in your way. Other people can't attack you as long as you're incorporeal, and phaseshifting while on fire will extinguish the flames. Doesn't last as long, takes longer to recharge.
WizardIconSummonStaff.png Summon S. of Cthulhu 60 seconds (1) Available to the owner of the staff. Cast the spell and it'll magically show up in your hand (or on the floor if you have both hands full) provided the crew hasn't crushed it yet.
WizardIconBlink.png Blink 10 seconds 1 Randomly teleports you a short-to-medium distance in the direction you're facing. Good for escaping or breaking into places, but beware that you can end up overshooting your intended target or end up moving only one tile forward. You can't blink into space or the chapel either. Teleport is less accurate.
WizardIconTeleport.png Teleport 45 seconds 1 Comes with unlimited charges, unlike that scroll in your pocket. Teleport can take you anywhere on the station and back to your shuttle. Unlike the scroll, however, the spell won't send you there instantly, but does extinguish flames if you happen to be on fire. There's a short delay that leaves you vulnerable for a moment. Takes longer to recharge.
WizardIconKnock.png Knock 10 seconds 1 Opens all doors, closets, crates and cyborg head compartments in a five tile radius. Also unlocks the interface of various robots. Great for getting into places and lockers without having to worry about getting a high-ranking ID or for dealing with the cyborgs after the crew makes wizards non-human. Rip their brains out and throw them in your bag, they make great trophies! Restricted to point-blank range.
WizardIconEmpower.png Empower 40 seconds 1 Temporarily gives you the hulk superpower for 30 seconds, allowing you to bash down walls, rip apart handcuffs and punch people with great force, sending them flying. You also get the classic form of telekinesis. Unlike its more recent replacement, old TK enables you to directly interact with the world without being in close range to anything - pick up and use items, operate computers or attack the crew from across the room. And yes, it can be combined with hulk. No TK, doesn't last as long.
WizardIconAnimateDead.png Animate dead 85 seconds 1 Causes the skeleton of a nearby corpse to tear itself free and come to life. The body and all the stuff on it is gibbed in the process. These skeletons are extremely hostile to anyone other than wizards and will chase people down, then knock them over and beat them to death with their horrid, undead strength. They're a little fragile and not too hard to run from, but they're tenacious: They will repair themselves if downed and are pretty good at killing lone targets or people you've stunned with other spells. Keep in mind that every corpse these things create is another potential skeletal servant! Takes longer to recharge.
WizardIconSummonGolem.png Summon golem 50 seconds 1 Turns any reagent in a container which you're holding in your active hand while casting this into a golem made of the substance. The golem is a critter that will attack anybody it sees with the exception of wizards. Their effectiveness depends on what is used to make them: the most present reagent (or if they're the same reagent volume, whichever is higher on the list) determines the golem type which applies that chemical's TOUCH reaction for each punch, and becomes a breathable smoke cloud of that chemical upon death. The chemicals used to make the Golem are internally stored and forcibly injected into its targets until it runs dry. For understandable reasons, it's very common for wizards using this spell to teleport into chemistry or the bar and make several beakers of the nastiest chemicals available. The 'Every Flavour' beans on the wizard shuttle can also be used to make golems. Takes longer to recharge.


Icon Name Cooldown Cost While stunned? Description Effect w/o staff
WizardIconWarp.png Warp 10 seconds 1 The devious sibling of blink. Sends a target to a random location within several tiles of your field of vision. While it may either send unlucky crew into a blazing inferno or barely two inches away from your place, it does have the fortune of recharging quickly. Target is more likely to end up closer to you.
WizardIconForcewall.png Forcewall 10 seconds 1 Causes a wall of force to project from your sides, stopping anyone from passing through the wall for 30 seconds. Good for blocking off a hallway while you make your escape or wait for cooldowns to finish. Wall is shorter.
WizardIconSpellshield.png Spell shield 30 seconds 1 Encases you in a magical shield for 10 seconds that blocks all projectiles and melee attacks but still lets in thrown objects. Also reduces the severity of explosions.
WizardIconDoppleganger.png Doppelganger 30 seconds 1 Similar to phase shift, but with a twist. A copy of you goes in the direction you were facing before, while you turn invisible and can get away in the opposite direction. The type of obstacles you can pass through are limited (windows, doors and solid objects), and walls will still be impenetrable. Nevertheless, doppelganger tends to lead the crew on a wild-goose chase and can thus be useful for making a quick escape.


Icon Name Cooldown Cost While stunned? Description Effect w/o staff
WizardIconMagicMissiles.png Magic missile 20 seconds Free Unleashes homing bolts of energy that automatically target up to six of the nearest crew members. Knocks down and stuns anyone unlucky enough to get beaned by it, and deals a minor amount of damage. The missiles are slow and can be outrun easily, however. Targets only one person.
WizardIconIceBurst.png Ice burst 20 seconds 1 If magic missile wasn't enough to take care of the hordes, this spell typically will. Throw freezing balls of frost that leave trails of ice in their wake! Your victims (up to three) will be chilled to the bone and often frozen solid in blocks of ice. Any that aren't will slip and fall face-first on the ice unless they're wearing magic sandals. (Galoshes and walking will do nothing.) Use this fact to outrun them. Targets only one person, doesn't coat the floor in ice.
WizardIconBlind.png Blind 10 seconds 1 Temporarily inflicts blindness on a target of your choice, and also stuns them briefly. The blindness part can only be blocked by VISOR goggles. Doesn't last as long.
WizardIconBullsCharge.png Bull's charge 15 seconds 1 Records your movement for 4 seconds, after which a massive bull charges along the recorded path, smacking anyone unfortunate to get in its way (excluding yourself) and dealing a significant amount of brute damage in the process. Watch your head for loose items, they are thrown around too. Because bull's charge is very situational and somewhat hard to master, you should combine it with magic missile or another spell that stuns your victims.
WizardIconRathenSecret.png Rathen's secret 50 seconds 1 Send asses flying as the power of your spell tears them from their owners! This fiendish magic stuns the victims with a rare chance of also severing a limb, and kicks up a plume of smoke that's great for quick escapes. If the victim's ass is already gone, this spell becomes much meaner, dealing moderate damage and increasing the chance of limb loss on top of the stun.
WizardIconClownRevenge.png Clown's Revenge 120 seconds 1 Can you hear it? The pained laughter? The dull smack of a forehead against metal and glass? The incessant need to honk without end? Spare all pity and show no mercy, for you have brought the curse of the cluwne to the station! After a few very brief seconds and with a puff of smoke, even the worst of threats will be reduced to that of a hideous, mewling, crying, honking ur-clown, leaving it with no easy means to save itself from its dreadful clothing and ghoulish cranial damage. The accursed clothing will eventually molt away after some few minutes, but the residual curse of clumsiness will remain unless cured by the touch of a holy man, cyborg conversion, or the sweet release of death.
WizardIconPandemonium.png Pandemonium 40 seconds 1 The spell of the wizard who's feeling lucky today! This spell can have any of the following effects: temporarily halves the cooldown of all your spells; randomly summons meteors or a bunch of grilles around you; temporarily gives everybody funny accents or breaks their radios; makes you use the vampire's chiropteran screech; stuns people around you briefly, makes them high or sets them on fire. The random effect may harm you as well.
WizardIconFireball.png Fireball 20 seconds 1 Casts a homing fireball that explodes on impact with the target, severely everybody in the vicinity and setting them alight. Will also wreck nearby walls and machinery, so you could deliberately target the cloning equipment or use the splash damage to hit someone who is hiding around a corner. Very deadly due to the combination of blast damage, limb loss, stun and the effects from burning up alive (accumulating burn damage, movement penalty etc.). Be advised that the fireball can also heat and ignite flammable materials caught in its wake, including yourself. Weaker explosion, shorter range.
WizardIconPrismaticSpray.png Prismatic Spray 35 seconds 1 Spews out 12 projectiles of random damage and effect in a very wide cone in the direction of where you're aiming. Damage is highly variable, and the projectiles usually won't damage the station. Accuracy is abysmal, but if you're getting mobbed or firing at close range, that doesn't matter so much. Can't cast spell at all.
WizardIconBalefulPolymorph.png Baleful Polymorph 180 seconds 1 Permanently turns the target into a random playable critter, which will greatly reduce their amount of equipment slots. Close range spell with a short "charging time", making it rather difficult to use on moving targets. Longer cooldown, victim still permanently transformed.
WizardIconShockingGrasp.png Shocking touch 80 seconds 1 A powerful electric arc will erupt from your fingertips, burning any unfortunate target within two tiles into critical condition. The arc can then jump to nearby people (3x3 range centered on the person you initially aimed at), burning and momentarily stunning every mob it passes through. This means shocking touch can double as a passable crowd control spell if used correctly. Only the initial victim is targeted and burnt (though not critically so), nobody else.

Wizardry 101

You spawn on the wizard's den in your underwear. Grab a robe and hat of your choice from the magical wardrobe, get yourself a staff (plus a few spares to put in your backpack or backpack box) and make sure you have your teleportation scroll. Go through your tome and pick up to 4 spells of choice. Once you're done, head over to the computer at the front of your ship, and use it to teleport wherever you want.

What spells you pick depends on what your game plan is. It can be anything from "murder some dudes" to "steal everybody's butts and sacrifice them to lava"; so long as you stick to the Rules, you have a lot of leeway. If you're stuck, here are some ideas:

  • Throw a bitchin' party in the bar! Pick Pandemonium and Summon Golem, and bug Chemistry/Hydroponics for drugs so that your golems get everybody sky-high when they explode and punch people.
  • Want to cosplay as your favorite Sith Lord? Take Shocking Touch (Force "Lightning"), Empower (Force Telekinesis), and Warp (Force "Push"). Be sure to make vaguely sinister remarks and one-liners over the radio.
  • Turn the station into a zoo! Learn Baleful Polymorph (and Clown's Revenge too, if you're feeling mean, or Rathen's secret if you don't think Magic Missile isn't going to cut it), and give all those polymorph silly names. Phase shift through the walls of the AI Upload, and give the AI and Cyborgs a law to act as a "zookeeper"/"Steve Irwin" of your little troupe of animals.

Don't worry too much about whether you picked the "right" spells or picked the "right" gimmick. If your gimmick goes flat or makes a turn into the unexpected, that's fine. If you just want to zip around, fight everyone, and fill the afterlife with salty ghost tears, that's fine too. (Though we can't recommend that.) Like with Traitor, it doesn't matter if you did things "right", just that you made a valiant attempt.

You probably aren't going to succeed the first time you play wizard anyways, so don't feel bad. Wizards usually only come in groups of one to three, so numbers are always going to be against you. Watch and learn from other wizards, and mentorhelp any questions you might have.

Goleming Tips

Consider robbing chemistry or the bar. Even if you're just going to use the jelly beans for your golems, you can still drastically extend their usefulness by extracting the beans and spreading them onto several pills. You won't get any of the fun chems, but you will get loads of more sugar golems from each bean. Keep them in a pill bottle for easy keeping!

Several chems have !!FUN!! effects when made into a golem. Experiment! Here's a list of some you might want to consider:

  • Silver Sulfadiazine/Styptic Powder: While it's true that sulfadiazine/styptic golems can heal people, they also forcibly inject it with every punch, causing TOX damage. Often drastically underestimated.
  • Black Powder: Sometimes detonates upon death, resulting in a massive explosion most chemnerds can only dream about.
  • Disease Reagents: Golems inject enough chems with every punch to instantly infect those they hit. It'll still take a while for the associated diseases to fully advance, and they can only infect so many people before their internal reservoir empties out, but with some luck, you can turn the whole station into cluwnes/birds without even taking the associated spells.

Rampaging Tips

Strongly consider dealing with the chaplain. Track him down and murder him if he didn't already launch himself into space out of boredom before you showed up. Chaplains are immune to most of your spells(notable exception being Prismatic Spray), so it's easiest to get your hands on a taser or something similar to bash his head in. The chapel's holy aura will stop you from casting spells, so don't follow people in there.

Also, consider going to the armory for shotguns. They're not exactly of much use for you (they're two-handed, so you can't use your staff unless you're quick on the draw), but you still deprive the station of anti-wiz weapons.

Fighting a Wizard

Please be aware of the special guidelines regarding the wizard shuttle.

If you're the chaplain, you don't have to worry about most of his spells (the ones that summon followers or destroy parts of the station can still hurt you, though). If you aren't, the wizard is a deadly opponent. Stunning a wizard will make him drop his staff but won't prevent him from casting spells. They'll just be weakened. Your aim is to knock him out, which will stop him from casting.

The best way to do this is with the assistance of an angry mob to overwhelm him. Once knocked out, try to strip him naked and beat him to death with blunt objects. A wizard with a teleport scroll prepared can teleport away to his den, so if you stun him, knock him out as fast as possible and don't allow him to recover. If the Wizard's chosen soulguard, which will save their life once, you'll have to do this all over again.

Drinking glasses are handy too. No, you don't force them to drink from it, you throw it at them, thus delivering a heapful heaping of whatever hellchems were in it. Flurosulfuric acid is a common and very good choice, because can melt the wizard's hat, completely shutting down spellcasting. All the smart wizards keep a spare hat just for this occasion though, so you should combine this with other dangerous chems that'll keep them from even attempting to put it on in the first place.

Dealing with Polymorph

Listen closely, because lots of people misunderstand this: unless you were an antagonist before you were polymorphed, you should not randomly attack crew members just because.

Though you have greatly reduced health, speed, and number of equipment slots and can't use most weapons as a polymorph, you're still not out of the game just yet. Unlike your ghost critter cousins, you can still use flashes, stab people with knives and screwdrivers, punch/bite/gnaw/claw the crap out of people, and pilot Space Pods and fire their weapons, among many other things. Also, your special attack abilities are actually functional, so you can actually sting wizards as a wasp or poke their eyes out as a parrot.

Notably, you can still throw drinking glasses and pour beakers of hellchems, allowing you to continue waging chemical warfare. (Unless you become a slug. In which case, the only warfare you'll wage is your slime trail against the Janitor.) In fact, you can still use all chemistry equipment, including chem dispensers.

You have to extra, extra careful now though. Because you've so little health, most guns and melee weapons can take you down in just a few hits. Just standing near a fireball can take out a good chunk of your health or even outright kill you, a fact that some truly nefarious Wizards will happily exploit.

If you find your puny little meatbag critter body lacking, you can ask a Roboticist to butcher out your brain and place it a cyborg chassis. Under default cyborg laws, you won't be able to harm the wizard, since they're considered human, but you will be able to counteract bloodshed and station damage they cause.

Supplementary Video

Jobs on Space Station 13
Staff Assistant - Chef - Barman - Chaplain - Janitor - Botanist - Clown - Job of the Day - Gimmick jobs
Engineer - Mechanic - Miner - Quartermaster
Medical & Research:
Medical Doctor - Geneticist - Roboticist - Scientist
Command & Security:
Security Officer - Detective - Chief Engineer - Medical Director - Research Director - Head of Security - Head of Personnel - Captain
Antagonist Roles:
Changeling - Nuclear Operative - Traitor - Wizard - Vampire - Wraith - Blob - Werewolf - Predator - Grinch - Krampus
Gang Member - Revolutionary - Spy Thief - Wrestler - Flockmind - Gimmick antagonist roles
Special Roles:
Artificial Intelligence - Cluwne - Critter - Cyborg - Ghost - Ghostdrone - Monkey - Santa Claus