Chef

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CIVILIAN DEPARTMENT
Chef
Chef64new.png
Chef
Difficulty: Easy
Requirements: None
Access Level: Kitchen, Bar
Additional Roleplay Access Level: None
Supervisors: Captain, Head of Personnel
Subordinates: Sous Chef
Responsibilities: Cooking up delicious food, maintaining the kitchen (and the bar too if you can)
Guides: Foods and Drinks


As the Chef, your job is to feed the station with delicious food and ice cream. You are the only person who can keep the crew's morale up with your wonderful cuisine. The only problem is, of course, to make people eat your food. You see, years and years of questionable "floorpill" cuisine and innocent foods poisoned with evil sauce have destroyed the chef's reputation. Sometimes, a brave person will eat your food, and hopefully will be pleasantly surprised. Depending on the situation, they might enjoy it so much that they eat all your food and leave none of it for everyone else. You may be asking how you actually make all these culinary masterpieces. This is a true art, which can only be perfected by training, and occasionally dying horribly.

This is a good role for more advanced newbies. Unlike Botanist or Janitor, you (probably) won't have coworkers, so you can't really rely on others, and the job's pressure and creativity are good preparations for a step into medicine or research. The cooking system is relatively simple and relies mostly on knowledge of recipes rather than reflexes, but its painful colorful differences from real world cooking will lower adjust your expectations. The job is very forgiving, the people (slightly) less so. You don't need to be super resource efficient or know exactly how much hunger each and every food item restores to keep people well-fed. On the Classic servers, people don't need to eat, so it's not a big deal if you don't know much about cooking, and on the Roleplay servers, where people do need to eat, hunger depletes slowly enough that you have plenty of time to learn, though in either, patrons can get desperate if they have to wait 10 minutes for a burger (why they don't grab something from a vending machine at that point is for you to speculate). Plus, you can have lots of fun cooking up a crazy amount of possible food combinations, ranging from delicious (three-tiered chocolate cake with coffee icing and cherries!) to experimental (Eggs on Elvis toast and bacon soup in vodka broth?) to downright bizarre (fried steam ice cream rangoon dagwood...)

To Serve Man

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Your kitchen, right by the Cafeteria in the northwest.
Your kitchen, just above the behind-the-counter area of the Cafeteria.
Your kitchen, in full view of the Bar.
Your kitchen, stragetically accessible from the top right corner of the Bar.
Your kitchen, directly left of the Bar.
Your kitchen, a quaint little rectangle by Cafeteria.

In SS13, there is a good variety of foodstuffs that you can make, such as cakes, pizzas, ice creams, and many others. Usually, edibles will heal people for a small amount. This is all some food, like bread slices, are good for. Some food, however, may actually be graded in how tasty it is. Besides a small message showing up along the lines of "this tasted amazing", a larger amount of health can be regained by eating high-quality food. Nowadays, foods can even give temporary buffs, and better food gives more and better buffs; thanks to your Kitchen Training trait, you can Examine food to determine its buffs and quality. Many players are willing to play along, so having an amazing tasting cake could, for example, prompt the captain to throw money at you, while an awful one can end up being thrown on your face.

Ingredients aren't really important to how a food taste, usually, as long as you are following the recipe. What is really important is the procedure (which usually means cooking time). So, it is worth it to experiment with the recipes. If something tastes bland, try cooking a little more, or a little less. Not all recipes are subject to this aspect (bread slices, for example, always taste the same), but many are.

A few of the recipes, like the pizza or the cake, will allow you to insert some ingredient or other of your choice. Once you have cake batter, for example, you can mix it with almost any foodstuff, as long as it will fit the mixer. Furthermore, you can also put any liquid in the icing tube to use as icing. So, you can have cakes varying from the normal, like chocolate cake with coffee icing, to unusual, like meat cake with cheese icing, to the nonsense, like steam ice cream cake with ice icing. Besides the decorative aspect, the ingredients you use will remain active, and affect whoever eats it. Be aware that anyone can check what these dishes are made off by just examining them. Experiment and see what you can stuff into different foods!

If you fuck up a recipe, you'll typically end up with a ????? or smoldering mess, either of which gives whoever's dumb enough to eat it food poisoning (although the reagent you extract from it can be useful for certain chemical recipes).

Monkey meat and you

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Main article: Monkey#Handling Monkeys

The kitchen contains a ValuChimp somewhere that dispenses, not chimpanzees, but Monkeys. These are your main source of meat as a chef. To turn a Monkey into meat, vend one from the ValuChimp, and pull it into the freezer area. Very quickly, click on it with Grab intent, and click on the meat spike to impale it onto there.

Some precautions should be taken when handling Monkeys. Monkeys swipe any weapon they come across, i.e. kitchen knives, and react with extreme violence when grabbed or attacked in general. Do not grab a monkey with a knife. If you do, a few seconds later you will earn multiple new stab wounds. A few seconds later you will be running for medbay, trailing blood. A few seconds later an enraged knife-wielding monkey will follow you. It will not stop until either you or it are dying. See how bad it is? What's worse, you could end up with entire mob of extremely aggressive monkeys that are out for your blood if you try to grab or attack of monkey in front of a group of them.

For a video example please refer to the supplementary video at the bottom of the page.

Chef XP

By completing certain tasks, listed below, you earn Chef XP, which goes towards your chef job level. Unlike what you may expect from other games with cooking-related XP, chef level doesn't affect gameplay at all; you don't, say, unlock new recipes or cooking techniques at certain levels, and your chef level has no effect on the healing and buffs gained from eating food. Instead, your job level provides access to exclusive clothing items, listed here.

Action XP
Gain
Frosting a cake
25% chance to earn XP
1
Cutting hard-boiled eggs to make deviled eggs
25% chance to earn XP
1
Cutting pizza bases into tortillas
25% chance to earn XP
1
Adding sauce to an unfinished pizza base
25% chance to earn XP
1
Flattening dough into a pizza base
25% chance to earn XP
1
Flattening a dough strip into a wheat noodle sheet
25% chance to earn XP
1
Defibbing dough into pancakes
25% chance to earn XP
1
Cutting dough into dough strips
25% chance to earn XP
1
Attaching dough strips back into dough
25% chance to earn XP
1
Twisting dough strips into dough circles
25% chance to earn XP
1
Rolling semolina dough into pasta sheets
25% chance to earn XP
1
Cutting sweet dough into cookie dough
25% chance to earn XP
1
Carving up a roast turkey
25% chance to earn XP
1
Putting a monkey onto a meat spike 2

Chef Job Rewards

While Chef level doesn't change the game mechanically, it does change the game aesthetically, because certain levels unlock new clothing items.

Name Lvl. Req. Icon Description
Sushi Chef Outfit 0 ItamaeHat.png ItamaeUniform.png Gives you out an itamae hat and itamae uniform, so you can prepare sushi in an authentic manner.
Tall Chef's Hat 2 TallChefHat.png Takes a chef's hat and makes it taller, boom! Now customers will know how much they can trust your food thanks to your Tall Chef's Hat.

Cooking Up Evil: Antagonist Chef

The chef is rather suited to Antagonist roles. Few people will query a chef dragging a corpse, and even fewer will actually care about the corpses/human meat in your kitchen. The gibber provides an excellent (and tasty!) way to dispose of your foes permanently.

Plus, Chef is a good role for evil fun with chemicals. The vending machines (especially the ones with Discount Dan's) and drink dispensers should yield enough nasty reagents to work with, and the Bar's suite of chemistry equipment (including a chem dispenser!) will get you quite far if you have the knoweldge. Combine it with access to Hydroponics, which you can likely reasonably obtain from the Head of Personnel under guise of growing more ingredients, and (almost) the entire world of chemistry is at your grasp. Inject your food with horrible poisons! Make treats that kill people in seconds! Create horrible deep-fried monstrosities!

On the other hand, the lack of access can be quite a handicap. Since you don't get Maintenance access and thus (usually, depends on the map) can't get into Tool Storage, you'll have to get a little creative to obtain tools or building materials for your nefarious schemes. Plus, some people are pretty suspicious of a Chef who's not in their kitchen...

Le Cordon Rouge: Traitor Chef

As Traitor Chef, you get a solid selection of job-specific Syndicate gear. There are items for going loud and messy, items that let you fly under the radar and commit crimes without venturing too much from your expected job duties, and items for doing just plain silly shenanigans that could only happen in SS13.

One of the things you can order as a Traitor is an intimidating butcher's knife, which is quite powerful and causes a target hit by it to bleed everywhere. As a bonus, any dead person you hit with the knife will be gibbed and turned into meat for easy body removal! For flashier killing sprees, there's the pizza sharpener, a special pizza cutter that makes pizza into deadly throwing weapons!

Speaking of meat, the syndicate hotdog cart lets you get plenty of it from your victims. It'll turn anyone inside it into a meatcube, which eventually explodes into delicious cube steaks. The process also makes some hotdog sausage and drops all their internal organs, including brains and hearts, for human offal dishes. It looks pretty close to real hot dog cart too, and if you climb inside it, it won't hurt you, allowing you to potentially fool people into thinking it's a perfectly innocuous cart.

If rampages aren't your style, spice up the burgers of unsuspecting patrons with special, highly deadly syndicate sauce. Failing that, the amanitin in the sauce is a good stealth poison and goes well in sleepy pens. That's not the only poison at your disposal though; you can also order poison bottles, both individually and in 7-pack bundles. Each bottle contains one of multiple different poisons, all of which are hard to find anywhere else. Some are less stealthy than amanitin but offer unique and flashy ways to kill people. For example, it might have initrobeedril, which turns people's hearts into bees, or spider eggs, which causes people to explode into spiders that attack other people. A treat for poisoners.

If you're just into pranks, consider hotdog bombs, tiny bombs that give people embarrassing hot dog suits. Detonate them near breaches and force people to wallow through the cold! Throw one the Captain or Head of Security and laugh at their now armor-less and very unfashionable ass!

Finally, there are Syndicate Donk Pockets boxes. They contain Syndicate donk pockets, which gives you a powerful anti-stun and healing cocktail when eaten (i.e. no extracting the reagents). Eat one when you're in critical condition, and you'll be back to full health in a short while. Plus the anti-stun drugs can help you get an upper hand on an attacker, or at least run off and escape, though you might want something stronger for rampages. You can also feed them to any fellow traitors you've teamed up with or people you've mindhacked! Reasonably cheap, and a real bargain since you get seven of them in each box. Best of all, you don't even need to heat them to get their benefits, unlike regular donks.

Supplementary Video

Gallery


Jobs on Space Station 13
Command &
Security
Captain · Head of Security · Head of Personnel · Chief Engineer · Research Director · Medical Director · Security Officer · Detective · Security Assistant · Nanotrasen Security Consultant
Medical &
Research
Geneticist · Roboticist · Scientist · Medical Doctor
Engineering Quartermaster · Miner · Engineer
Civilian Chef · Bartender · Botanist · Rancher · Janitor · Chaplain · Staff Assistant · Radio Host · Clown · Gimmick jobs
Jobs of the Day Dungeoneer · Barber · Mail Courier · Lawyer · Tourist · Musician · Boxer
Antagonist Roles With own mode Arcfiend · Blob · Changeling · Gang Member · Flockmind · Nuclear Operative · Spy Thief · Traitor · Revolutionary · Vampire · Wizard
Others Grinch · Hunter · Krampus · Werewolf · Wraith · Wrestler · Zombie · Gimmick antagonist roles
Special Roles Artificial Intelligence · Battler · Cluwne · Critter · Cyborg · Ghost · Ghostdrone · Monkey · Santa Claus