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Monkeys are most commonly found as NPCs aboard the station, most of which reside in genetics pen and (oddly enough) vending machines in chemistry and the kitchen, but they can be controlled by players. They used to show up in the game mode bearing their namesake, where they were viral in nature and existed to infect humans. This game mode was sadly discontinued because it was shit. It is possible to become a monkey through genetic alteration, by signing up as a test subject, through the abilities of the changeling, the whims of admins, and rare allergic reactions.

Being a Monkey

Being small and hairy is not all fun and games. These are some things to keep in mind:

  • Monkeys can understand humans just fine, but the same can't be said for their speech. Your primary means of communication will likely be paper and PDA messages. Telepathy works as usual, and people with Monkeyspeak can decipher your chimpers, if you want them to understand you for some reason.
  • Even though it is a jerk move to attack other players without an excuse, monkeys are usually considered fair game, so long as there is a decent reason, usually that you're being annoying and/or a jerk. Furthermore, changelings can turn into monkeys with one of their powers, so if there's one about, people will be doubly suspicious of you.
  • Likewise, synthetics don't include monkeys in their definition of "human" in the default lawset. A malicious AI or cyborg may decide to ruin your day. Having a machine translator can have you make the AI and/or borgs act as translators, and likely make them a teeny tiny bit less hostile towards you (hopefully).

Abilities and Restrictions

  • Have two hands and can use the same items humans can
  • Can move over tables and racks unimpeded, and hide under tables as well as beds by clicking on them with a free hand. Once enabled, your mob will appear underneath some other objects like clothing and chairs, too.
  • Can use the mail system as a means of transportation.
  • Monkeys tend to be hard to hit due to their smaller sprite and ability to move over or under tables.
  • Can wear the same jump- and exosuits as humans, although many sprites don't fit monkeys particularly well.
  • Less maximum stamina--150 rather than 200.
  • Last but not least, a superb selection of fart messages. A true monkeys will only communicate through farts and rude gestures.

Special Monkeys

Name Location (Cog1) Location (Cog2) Location (Destiny) Location (Clarion) Location (Oshan)
Mr. Muggles Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar
Mrs. Muggles Warehouse Central Storage Port Crew Lounge Outside Head Quarters Supply Depot
 ???? Observatory Crew Quarters Aviary Owlery Observatory
Albert Telescience Telescience Telescience Telescience MIA
Mr. Rathen Engine Engine Engine Engine Power Room
Krimpus Hydroponics N/A Hydroponics Hydroponics Hydroponics
Tanhony Market N/A Pool N/A Courtroom
Von Braun Syndicate shuttle Syndicate shuttle Syndicate shuttle Syndicate shuttle Syndicate shuttle
Monsieur Stirstir Brig Brig Brig Brig Brig

Barrel of Monkeys

"More fun than a ValuChimp!"

Traitor Staff Assistants, Geneticists, and Test Subjects can order a few special monkeys through the barrel of monkeys item. They spawn inside a "mysterious barrel", and when the corresponding signaller is activated, 5-6 angry bandanna-wearing monkeys will pop out.

These monkeys don't monkey around. If they see a toolbox, extinguisher, or other melee weapon, they'll pick it up and try to beat/stab you with it. If they find a knife or fork, they'll chuck it at you with alarming accuracy. They won't hesitate to take a gun and shoot you with it, even if it's actually a bad idea.

And that's only the base Robust AI. Thanks to their upgraded AI, they'll throw items more often, so you can expect plenty of utensils and air tanks achieving flight and crash-landing into you. More importantly, and far worse, unlike their non-barrel-brethren, they keep on attacking you even when you're in critical condition, and they'll try to fight everyone they see, including the one who released them, even if they're just looking at them funny.

Supplementary Videos


MonkeyInSec.gif WarningMonkey.jpg

Jobs on Space Station 13
Staff Assistant - Chef - Barman - Chaplain - Janitor - Botanist - Clown - Job of the Day - Gimmick jobs
Engineer - Mechanic - Miner - Quartermaster
Medical & Research:
Medical Doctor - Geneticist - Roboticist - Scientist
Command & Security:
Security Officer - Detective - Chief Engineer - Medical Director - Research Director - Head of Security - Head of Personnel - Captain
Antagonist Roles:
Changeling - Nuclear Operative - Traitor - Wizard - Vampire - Wraith - Blob - Werewolf - Predator - Grinch - Krampus
Gang Member - Revolutionary - Spy Thief - Wrestler - Flockmind - Gimmick antagonist roles
Special Roles:
Artificial Intelligence - Cluwne - Critter - Cyborg - Ghost - Ghostdrone - Monkey - Santa Claus