Admin

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The Admin is a species native to space whose popularity as a food and lack of breeding habits has caused their population to dwindle over the last few years. They are usually sighted in small groups, testing new features, forming gangs, or breaking out of solitary confinement.

Although usually docile, the capacity of an Admin for anger and ironic punishment (or bans) once provoked should not be underestimated. Reading the rules is the only way to learn what will or won't make a pack of wild Admins rip you to pieces, so you should probably do that. As a note, admitting that you haven't read the rules after you break them is a great way to get your ban extended.

OW! IT BIT ME!

Wounds caused by Admins are usually fatal. You are probably going to die. Usually, within seconds. Admin bites can cause symptoms including death, space yeti bites, your butt falling off, moderate to severe gibbing, axe murderers, spontaneous cluwneing, and in some cases, giant armies of lions, owls, horrible abominations from beyond space and time, and walruses.

Adegio for farts

Admins have a taste in music. It is neither good nor bad. It is both. It's the Schrödinger's Cat of not-so-easy listening. Never turn admin sounds off, you don't want to miss the songs of their people.

Special antagonists

The admins have at their disposal a terrifying menagerie of critters and psychos. Once every so often, when a round grinds to a halt, all the antagonists are dead, calls for the shuttle are refused, and no fun can be found anywhere, an admin might make a pseudo-antagonist to set things right. These are almost always admin-controlled, but once in a very long while a normal player is given a special antagonist role, usually because an admin fucked something up and is making it up to somebody. Beware, though, begging for a special antagonist role is a great way to get turned into a cluwne with the name "BEAT ME FOR PRIZES". Or banned, if you keep doing it.

While on paper the admins could conjure up all sorts of horrors, certain entities have become a station staple. These include:

  • Omnitraitors - While they may look like any (relatively) harmless member of the station, these crew members have the powers of every single antagonist role at once. If you see a monkey werewolf wizard running around spitting acid and body-slamming people into swarms of angry bats, you should probably find somewhere else to be.
  • The Admin Bus - All aboard! A short yellow school bus, the Admin Bus is both a pun and the physical incarnation of a bored and capricious admin looking to spice up a round that's going on entirely too long. It does not brake for anything, smashing clean through any wall, door, object, or crew member in its path. Victims of an Admin Bus driveby can count themselves lucky if they're only sent flying and ignored as the bus continues its merry rampage, as the driver can stuff their victims into the infinitely huge trunk. There is no escape from within unless the driver wills it, and your only consolation is that you can talk to your fellow victims as the Admin Bus drives full speed into a black hole.
  • The maetcho Maenn - You thought you knew how to wrestle? You thought you were hot shit? Think again. The metchu menn is the embodiment of wrestling, birthed straight from the Elemental Plane of Wrestlemania. A Maetzo mun is instantly recognizable by his manly hair, tiny purple pants, cheetah-print vest, magnificent sunglasses, and constant audio clips of stream-of-consciousness mumbling and ranting. He is, barring exceptional circumstances, an unstoppable force of nature thanks to his mind-bogglin' array of wrestling moves, nearly all of which spell certain, gruesome death for any poor bastard in arm's reach. He can burst through a wall, parry lasers out of the air, yank the c-saber out of your hands, rip off your limbs, suplex you across the entire station, and make you explode into a cloud of blood with the sheer power of his steely gaze. If you hear a distant "OOOOOOH YEEEEEEEEAH" echoing through the halls, your best option is to pray that your death will be swift and entertaining.
  • The Smiling Man - Named for his particular speech impairment. The Smiling Man wears a striped, gray suit and a white mask with a smile painted on. He can pass smoothly through solid features, appearing at your back to ask for a smile. Failing to appease him is a good way to get brutally shanked to death by his knife. Appeasing him will probably get you shanked too. He's not exactly consistent.
  • The Floor Cluwne - You'll know it when you see it. Or rather, hear it. If you see it, it's already too late for you. Not real. Some say that this can appear as a result of admin shenanigans, but it just does not exist in the code. Nope.

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