Jugglemancy

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What is Jugglemancy?

Jugglemancy is a term referring to a number of strange and bizarre bugs involving clowns somehow in some way juggling people, the vast majority of which have since been patched. The name originates from its first and most well-known incarnation from 2015, not too long from when juggling was added, which involved several explosions, piles and piles of gibs, and a clown car.

The Original 2015 Incident

Mageziya's Account

Time to write down everything I know about the great jugglemacy incident of 2015.

The Bug

When a clown is juggling stuff and is hit by an object in a flying/thrown state, the clown has a chance of catching and juggling said object. When said object is caught by clown, the item is despawned and the clown's sprite is updated to the generic juggling animation. When the clown messes up and drops everything, the item is then respawned. The big problem with this is that people are not properly accounted for. When the clown catches a person, the person is despawned. This is where my understanding gets foggy. There is nowhere to place the person, so instead the person is sent to inside the clown, or 0,0,0, an airless void. When the clown fumbles, the person does not respawn. The person is technically inside the clown, and it should be noted that the game registers the person as an organ of the clown's now. The only way for a person to be liberated from the clown is if the clown is gibbed. A large number of experiments were held on what one can do when inside the clown, but I won't go into detail, because a lot of weird shit was discovered.

Act One: Discovery

I had spent most of the round tossing stuff at the clown to juggle. After a near fatal incident involving the clown fumbling some items, I dragged him to medbay and healed him. There, the table separating chem and medbay was removed, and in chemistry there was a dead monkey. On a whim, I grabbed the dead monkey and tossed it at the clown, and lo and behold, the clown started juggling it! Excited, and after a bit of bumbling around, a scientist volunteered to be juggled by the clown. I complied with the scientist by tossing them at the clown. They were then juggled by the clown, and everything was fine and dandy until the clown fumbled and dropped everything they were juggling. The clown didn't drop the monkey or the scientist. Confused, I had another scientist in the room throw me at the clown, where I proceeded to find myself suffocating to death within the clown. In dead chat, the scientist and I had a laugh about the bug and had managed to get Daeren's attention over the bug. At this point, Daeren brought the clown back to life (Which had been killed by a monkey in an unrelated incident.), brought the clown to the wrestling room, and attempted to recreate the bug with macho men. The bug was found to be completely recreate-able, and the experiments concluded with the clown being gibbed, revealing all the corpses of people the clown had absorbed. The round ended shortly after this.

Act Two: Publicity and Experimentation

The round that followed is when shit hit the fan in terms of admin experimentation, public knowledge of this bug, and general hilarity. OOC was on for functionally the entirety of this round. It started out as a normal round, but I quickly found the clown at the market (Surrounded by burgers, I might add.) and sacrificed myself to it by convincing someone to throw me at it. My sacrifice engaged a panic among the witnesses, though I am unsure if others sacrificed their selves before me. Admin intervention, quarantining, and quick gibbing of the clown followed. It was at this point the admins decided to hold mass experimentation of clown jugglemacy in the court room. Simply put, shit got weird, and I'm not going to detail the results, because there are a lot. Others can fill in the role of providing experiment results, but all you need to do is imagine a person inside a clown inside a clown inside a clown and you're good. Experimentation continued throughout the round, with a few distractions by the hot-wired engine and a traitor who attacked the fucking clown atrocities. The vast majority of OOC chat was about this new-found bug, and many tears were shed over its hilarity.

Act Three: The Finale

This is the third and finale round in the jugglemacy incident. Every person who joined this round at the round start became an assistant, and every person who late joined could become a clown. Basically, clowns and assistants were everywhere, with random clowns having people inside them. A clown car had been running around abducting all an endless plethora of clowns, making it a true clown car that was filled with pseudo clown cars. This round was rather uneventful until the end. Somehow, the clown car driver had died, leaving a bunch of clowns stranded at escape, one of which was an admin or had an admin inside of them. (I don't know which) I was in the region, and in the process of being harassed by a vampire, when I noticed this car. I clicked on the car, releasing the unholy swarm of clowns. The admin clown unleashed an anti-matter explosion they had been planning, but had been unable to release due to clown shenanigans. Literally nothing on the z level survived, sole exception being the indestructible arrivals shuttle.

That concludes the jugglemacy incident of 2015, or does it? The bug has yet to be resolved, so, while you still can, go get absorbed by a clown!

I know I left a LOT of details out, but I need sleep.

Stryxic's Account

As the scientist who sacrificed himself for the cause, I shall write up as much as I can remember about the courtroom testing.

The Experiments

Internals : The test was whether or not you could avoid suffocating whilst inside the clown. To this end, several people wearing Internals were thrown into Clown Space, and surprise suprise they did not die. They were merely trapped inside. Forever. The extra fun bit was when they tried talking - [muffled human] inside HELLFUCK JUGGLEMASTER was what came out in chat. When the clown was eventually gibbed, they escaped intact and alive, somehow.
Recursive Juggling: One of the first things everyone was wondering was whether clown juggling was recursive. To this end, there were several clowns in the courtroom, with some 'willing' volunteers. Some staff assistants were chucked within the clown, who was chucked within another clown, who was chucked inside another. The end result was, in fact, that you could stack clown inside clown inside clown.
Explosions! : Could we detonate a bomb inside a clown? This was a difficult question, whilst inside the clown, it wasn't so easy to activate any bombs. To this end, they went over to Centcomm, and placed a pipe bomb inside a bible, then out that bible into their bag. They were then chucked inside, withdrew the bomb, and activated it. However, the bomb didn't explode - Not because it wasn't activated, the admins posted this - 'OOC: Daeren: 'blackphoenix0928/mahtchoh man signalled a radio on a transfer valve at horrible no-loc nowhere void.', it's just that the bomb didn't have an explosive mixture, and so it did nothing.
Consuming from within: One of the more creative ideas, another admin (I think it was I Said No) had an idea to see if you could use the Matter Eater ability to eat other people inside the clown, as they counted as organs. Unfortunately this proved impossible - They could only eat parts of themselves. This did however lead to the horrifying sound effect of the clown having a constant crunching sound coming from it. Oh, and screams - People could scream inside the clown.
Explosive testing!: At one point, I believe an admin spawned an explosive in his hand and detonated it. This led to him being gibbed, but he remained within the clown and did no damage to either the overclown, or his other victims. Even death was no escape. This led to the next explosion -
The Matter-Antimatter explosion : This was the round after, but it came as the culmination of an entire clown round. Many were dead, and the sounds of honking filled the corridors. It was a hell on Earth, and painted smiles roamed free with no care for the consequences of their honking. A clown car drove its merry way around the station, kidnapping clowns, boxers and assistants alike, until it ended in escape. Inside it were clowns, clowns juggling other clowns, clowns juggling clowns inside clowns, what have you. This was when an admin detonated the Anti Matter explosion. Literally the entire station Z level was destroyed, even the listening post. There were two exceptions. The arrivals shuttle, and the people inside the clown. Yes. Being inside the clown space protected you from an explosion of a magnitude of around about 3e+08 I believe. At escape there was just a load of freezing, breathing clowns amongst a wreck of rods, holes, tiles, and general death.

That's all I can remember off the top of my head, but loads more things were tested. I've probably missed a few things.


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