Clothing

Uniform

Wearing a uniform is necessary to keep on your ID, anything in your pockets, and anything on your belt slot. Removing your uniform will dump all that to the ground in a pile. You can quickly and safely change uniforms by clicking the new uniform on the "INV" button.

Item	Image	Description
Jumpsuit		Comes in many different colors and styles depending on your job.
Generic Jumpsuit		Comes in many different colors, including white, grey, black, and all colors of the rainbow and then some. The Brig has prisoner orange versions, Biohazard lockers have white ones, and Crew Quarters and Locker Room usually have lockers of these in a handful of colors. Can be manufactured at a Personel Equipment Manufacturer or Uniform Manufacturer.
Psychedelic Jumpsuit		Trippy. A frequent Novelty Clothing Crate inhabitant.
Chameleon Suit		Can imitate any other color of jumpsuit. See Syndicate Items.
Pride-O-Matic Jumpsuit		A pride jumpsuit for people of all stripes, literally--it can become other pride jumpsuits. You can click on it while it's in your hand to cycle through all the pride jumpsuit patterns. It's brought through Spacebux, which you can keep through rounds depending on certain conditions.
Staff Assistant's Jumpsuit		An icon of Space Station 13 and the reason Staff Assistants are called "greyshirts", although this one includes both grey and blue. You can print one at a Uniform Manufacturer or Personnel Manufacturer.
Botanist's Jumpsuit		Duuude...who wears the botanist's jumpsuit again?....Oh, right...Botanists...yeah. Anyways, besides being standard garb for the crew's local ganja-smoking hippies, this jumpsuit also prevents you from being stung by nettles. If you want killer tomatoes, man-eaters, and other botanical baddies to leave you alone, though, wearing this jumpsuit isn't enough. Comes in two versions, which look different but otherwise function the same. (Just like space humanity, whoa!) Standard - Blue and green, like the beautiful earth. This version is worn by Botanists and spawns inside "Botanist's equipment" boxes. Said boxes appear in botanical supplies lockers, which are located in Hydroponics, . Alternate - Blue and red, like a delicious bowl of blueberries and strawberries. If you have the Alternate Jumpsuit spacebux reward, you get this instead of your regular jumpsuit whenever you spawn as a Botanist.
Senior Botanist's Jumpsuit		Green and poo compost brown, but aside from color scheme, the senior botanist's jumpsuit is otherwise identical to its non-senior version, including the ability to protect against nettle. In addition to being a Botanist job reward, it can also be found in "Bee Sanctuary" prefabs in the Trench and Mining Level, as well as a suitably plant-related Adventure Zone.
Rancher's Overalls		Here's a reading comprehension test: who wears the rancher's overalls? The Rancher(s), of course. Spares can be found in "Rancher's equipment" boxes, which appear in the Rancher supplies locker.
Chef's Uniform		Who wears the chef's uniform? The Chef, of course. The description claims it's "issued only to the most hardcore chefs in space", but it doesn't actually mean anything mechanics-wise. Comes in two colors: White - Light as cream. Standard garbs for chefs. Found in both the Catering Apparel and FoodTech vending machines. Black - Dark as soy sauce. A Chef who's bought the Alternate Jumpsuit option gets this instead of the usual white uniform.
Itamae Uniform		See Chef
Bartender's Suit		A classy white dress shirt, a black bowtie, and black pants/trousers for the Bartender. This is the Bartender's default outfit, and they get a spare bartender's suit in the Catering Apparel machine.
Maid Dress		A black dress with a white apron, said to be typical of French maids, which, according to a great sage, are mythical beings that all spacefarers have heard about but have never seen. Catering Apparel has two, as alternate outfits for the Chef and Bartender, and it's also possible to buy your own maid dress from the Clothing Booth for 100 credits. It also sometimes appears in Novelty Clothing Crates from Cargo.
Butler Suit		Who killed the Captain? Clearly, the butler did it, or at least whoever was wearing this butler suit, which combines a black three-piece suit (pants/trousers, jacket, waistcoat, tie, and all) into one single jumpsuit-slot item. Catering Apparel spawns with two, in case the Chef and/or Bartender want to cosplay as butlers for their job. It's possible to buy one from the Clothing Booth for 200 credits, and it can randomly appear in Cargo's Novelty Clothing Crates.
Chaplain Jumpsuit		You may find it hard to believe, but the Chaplain wears the chaplain jumpsuit. It takes cues from the black cassock and white clerical collar associated with many branches of Christianity, and while the Examine text states it's a Protestant vicar's outfit (alluding to Anglican priests who run the religion's local-level districts), it's also plain enough to fit any sort creed, real or fictive. The Chaplain spawns with this, obviously, and there's a spare one in their Deus Ex Machina vendor.
Priest's Robe		For a Chaplain who thinks the Pope is dope. This priest's robe consists of a Roman Catholic cassock, alb, and red stole (worn for occasions such as Pentecost, Good Friday, and others), all rolled into one jumpsuit-slot (rather than outerwear/exo-suit slot) item. Since it's intended for the Chaplain, it appears in the religious-themed Deus Ex Machina machine. It's also the garment of choice for Father Grife, an NPC cleric in the Space/Sea Diner who professes the Word of Grife.
Nun Robe		A long, concealing garment traditionally associated with Christian nuns, and one half of the Chaplain's nun outfit, alongside the nun hood. It's a simple, modest robe, for a simple, modest (and possibly terrifying) acolyte, so this just has the generic jumpsuit stats (5% cold and heat resistance, 10% chemical resistance, 1 melee protection for the chest). You can find the nun robe in the Deus Ex Machina vending machine, which requires Chaplain's Office access.
Rabbi's Jacket		♫ We're Jews out in space ...and you too can protect the Hebrew race with this frock coat and scarf combo, which, despite being called "rabbi's jacket", actually goes in the jumpsuit slot rather than the outerwear slot. It doesn't grant any supernatural powers or anything, but hey, at least you look pretty fly for a rabbi (as Weird Al would say), which is pretty important when you're a Chaplain. The Deus Ex Machina spawns with one, and it's meant to be worn with the rabbi's hat, also in the vendor.
Imam's Robe		This simple imam's robe is black with green edges, perfect for a Chaplain who wants to lead fellow Muslims. It and the turban make up the Chaplain's imam outfit, so they appear alongside each other in the Deus Ex Machina vending machine.
Siropa Robe		Fancy yellow robes of honor, which Sikh priests give out to followers who have performed great deeds. This and the formal turban make up the Chaplain's Sikh cleric outfit. Fittingly, one siropa robe appears in the Chaplain's Deus Ex Machina vendor.
Buddhist Robe		A saffron-colored with a scarlet sash, taking cues from kāṣāya worn by Buddhist monks in Southern and Southeastern Asia. Unfortunately, the "buddhist robe" (yep, lowercase in-game) does not imbue you with cool martial arts moves or godlike association football skills, so re-enacting Shaolin Soccer is out of the question. It appears inside the Deus Ex Machina vending machine, for the Chaplain's use.
Witchfinder General's Outfit		A stylish shirt, vest, and pants combo, because you have to look your best when battling the supernatural. It's otherwise completely mundane, so it has generic jumpsuit stats and doesn't actually aid in finding wizards or the like. You can find the witchfinder general's outfit in the Deus Ex Machina vendor, inside a "Witchfinder's equipment" box that contains various other parts of the Chaplain's witchfinder general ensemble.
Druid Robes		Dress up as an ancient ent, speaking with the wisdom of untold centuries of existence...or just play a tree for your local theater production. It's meant to be worn with the druid mask, as part of a sort of druid/nature worship getup, but you can conceivably use it for whatever gimmick you wish. Also, it's just a costume, so it has generic jumpsuit stats, and you don't get any actual druid powers. Spawns in the Deus Ex Machina vendor.
Outlander's Jumpsuit		Bring a long-dead alien religion back to life, and let the glyphs speak again...or just pretend you're wearing some ancient alien weirdo's band t-shirt. Anyhow, the outlander's jumpsuit is mostly just a costume piece, which is why it provides generic jumpsuit stats. This and the outlander's mask form the Chaplain's alien outlander outfit; naturally, both objects can be found in the Chaplain's Deus Ex Machina vendor.
Atheist Sweater		A sweater and slacks (or jumper and trousers if you're Space British) combo for a Chaplain who professes no faith, as strange as that may seem. Despite the name, the atheist sweater is actually a jumpsuit slot item, rather than an outerwear/exosuit slot item like other sweaters. It also has generic jumpsuit stats, so it doesn't provide much warmth. Found in the Deus Ex Machina vendor.
Construction Worker's Overalls		There are two "construction worker's overalls" variants: One with an orange shirt, which appears in the Construction Equipment crate from Cargo and in the Engineering Apparel vendor One with a yellow/tan shirt, which also spawns in the Engineering Apparel vendor Worn not by the Construction Workers in the Construction Game Mode (who wore engineer jumpsuits), but by the version of the Construction Worker job that was bought back years after the Construction game mode's discontinuation, before becoming discontinued itself.
Security Jumpsuit		Security officers and Security Assistants can chose from a wide variety of colorful uniforms, some more relaxed than others.
Guard Uniform		A blue guard uniform inspired by the police officers of old. Security Apparel has a few, in case someone in Sec wants to cosplay as a copper, and these can sometimes appear in Novelty Clothing Crates.
Chief Engineer's Jumpsuit		Found on the chief engineer and in their locker in engineering.
Chief Engineer's Outfit		One of the Chief Engineer's alt outfits, found inside a box in their job equipment locker. One of the sleeves on the chief engineer's outfit is rolled up (you can't roll it back down), so you can look all business when you're trying to fix the engine. The scarf shown on the sprite doesn't provide any resistances, but it sure does make you look cool after the engine goes kaput anyway.
Head of Personnel's Suit		Found on the head of personnel and the locker in their office.
Research Director's Suit		Found on the research director and the locker in their office.
Medical Director's Suit		Found on the medical director and the locker in their office.
Captain's Jumpsuit		Found on the captain and the locker in their office.
Head of Security's Uniform		In addition to the one worn by the head of security, a spare can be found in their office. On rounds with no HoS, there is no way to access this item short of emagging the HoS' locker.
Clown Suit		Honk honk.
Clown Dress		A dress for clowns, honk! Found in the Clown's quarters, naturally, amongst spare clown gear.
Clown Suit		A fancy suit for fancy funnies.
Autumn Clown Suit		Orange you glad that the Clown has a festive "autumn clown suit" for fall, inside the crate of outfits in their personal quarters? If you're not glad, you should know that it only appears during September, October, and November; during the other months, when Goonstation's autumn season ends, it makes like a tree and leaves. The scarf is just for seasonal flair, so it doesn't provide extra warmth or make you trip more often.
Cursed Clown Suit		Standard equipment of cluwnes. Cannot be removed by its wearer by standard means.
Fancy Mime Suit		See Mime
Mime Dress		See Mime
Owl Suit		Hoot.
Postmaster's Jumpsuit		Also called "mail courier's jumpsuit" and "mailman's jumpsuit". Does not have the effects of its Syndicate counterpart, which is the version used by your local friendly Mail Courier. There are technically two versions of this, which are alike save for color scheme: Blue - Spawns inside "Postmaster's equipment" boxes in Quartermaster's lockers, and Routing Depot and Disposals might have another one, depending on the map. Orange - Currently unobtainable.
Barber's Uniform		Available in the barbershop.
Angler's Overalls		See Fishing
Tricolor Jumpsuit		A jumpsuit replicating the Italian tricolor flag, for only the most serious pizza fanatics. The Tricolor Jumpsuit can be fabricated at a Uniform Manufacturer and Personnel Equipment Manufacturer and vended from the FoodTech as a hidden item. In all those cases, you must hack the machine first.
Comfy Sweater		Or a jumper depending on where you live, or cosby sweater, its former name. It doesn't protect you from the cold any more than a standard jumpsuit does. It does, however, have three unique and vibrant designs. One of the many random uniform-slot items that can be found in the Novelty Clothing Crate and appears in the Radio Lab and other radio stations used by the Radio Host.
Athletic Shorts		Available in the gym, and starting equipment for the wizard.
Wrestling Pants		Also available in the gym. The official pants of the Space WWE.
Medical Scrubs		See Medical Objects
Gown		See Medical Objects
Wedding Dress		A white, ankle-length wedding dress with thin straps. As they say, the white really helps bring out the blood stains. The Clothing Booth sells this for 3600 credits, under the "Formal" category. Cargo's Wedding Crate has two wedding dresses, and the Novelty Clothing Crate sometimes has one. It also appears in Donut Station 3's Fuq III store and a spooky haunted house in the Trench.
Black Suit	/	How formal. Can be fabricated at and from uniform manufacturers and found in formal wear closets, which typically spawn in the Barman's office and Stock Market Room.
Mortician Suit		Worn by the retired Head Surgeon role. Available in the medbay morgue.
Lawyer's Suit		OBJECTION! *slams table dramatically* Comes in black, red, and blue. All three colors can be found in Legal closets in the courtroom, while black and red ones appear in the Security Apparel vendor. Click tables to slam them dramatically while equipped.
Tactical Turtleneck		The garment of choice of nuclear operatives. Available in black and slightly darker black. Every gear preparations closet comes with turtlenecks, and Syndicate Apparel has one too.
Safari Suit		For when you are hunting the deadliest game. See Syndicate Items.
Bowling Suit		Perfect for when you want a striking outfit. See Syndicate Items.
Athletic Pants		You can play Syndie American football without needing to wear these pants, but they certainly do complete the look. Unlike the other items in the football kit, these don't have any unique stats, but they are acidproof, so fluorosulfuric acid and similar chems can't melt it.
Syndicate Postmaster's Jumpsuit		Allows one to travel through mail chutes. It's simply called "postmaster's jumpsuit" in-game. Syndicate Items has more details. Weirdly, this comes in two colors: Blue - The version the Mail Courier spawns with. Don't think too hard about why Nanotrasen gave this job Syndicate equipment. Orange - This is the color you get if you purchase Alternate Jumpsuit and join as a Mail Courier.
Hunter Suit		See Hunter.
Trash Bag	/	For when you literally feel like trash. Can hold an item when worn, but only one. You'll have to take it off to get the item back.
Towel		Something to wrap around your body to wear it as a jumpsuit. Will also prevent you from slipping on wet surfaces (mostly water, not space lube or a comparable mess) if placed on the floor, for example near a shower stall.
Donk Space Suit		A spaceworthy jumpsuit with no slowdown! Wearing this means you can forgo the standard space helmet and spacesuit combo, freeing up a slot to show off your snazzy hat or stylish outerwear. Unfortunately, it has negative 20% heat resistance, so fire is going hurt more. It also has 5% radiation resistance. Found only in a few fairly hard-to-reach places out in the Adventure Zone or Novelty Clothing Crates. Formerly known as the NASSA space suit, a reference to the mockumentary The Old Negro Space Program. The dev team felt that reducing a movie satirizing racism in America to a simple joke item was in poor taste, so the reference was removed, the item was reflavored to fit into the game's lore better, and the name and stats were changed.
Donkini		From the revolutionary spaceproofing technologies of the Donk space suit comes...let's not beat around the bush, it's a space bikini. It won't protect you from Space or even the Pool or ocean water, but it's perfect for when you want to be close as possible to being naked but find athletic shorts and trunks too tacky. Formerly known as the SNAZZA suit, a riff of the old name for the Donk space suit.
Plumber's overalls		The overalls of strange men who crawl down pipes and beat up innocent mushrooms. Wear it with a plumber's hat for an interesting interaction with toilets.
Striped Shirt and Jeans		The outfit of a man who was never really meant to be in Space.
Diver Jumpsuit	/	If you're looking for me, you'd better check under the sea...because that is where you'll find Sealab 2021, the show these jumpsuits are referencing. A parody of the earlier Sealab 2020, Sealab 2021 was a SS13-esque, adult-oriented cartoon series about the misadventures of a hilariously-inept crew of an underwater laboratory. The blue version (which in-game is confusingly called "captain's jumpsuit") was worn by Captain Murphy and other officers, while the orange one was worn by their underlings.
Vault 13 Jumpsuit		War. War never changes. Neither does this communal fallout shelter uniform. Doesn't provide radiation protection, contrary to what you might think.
Sci-fi Jumpsuit		A sporty, multicolored outfit in multiple colors and styles. Available in the Clothing Booth.
Western Dress		A saloon style dress that can be found in the Western section of the Clothing Booth.
Waitress's Dress		A frilly dress with an equally frilly apron. Costume version of a waitress's dress from a 1950s diner. Available in the Clothing Booth.
T-Shirt Dress		A simple dress in a variety of colors and patterns. Available in the Clothing Booth.
Casual Jumpsuit		A basic t-shirt and jeans, comes in a variety of colors, sleeve lengths, and patterns. Available in the Clothing Booth.
Black Tracksuit		Why are tracksuits so popular in gopnik youth culture? The answer lies in both climate and communism. The synthetic fibers in tracksuits help insulate from Russia's cold climate, and Adidas and Puma tracksuits in particular were popularized by the Soviet 1980 Olympics team. In a country beset by harsh winters, economic downturns, and crumbling infrastructure, it makes sense to find ways of keeping warm that don't involve turning a thermostat up. Anyways, this black tracksuit takes cues from the famous black ones made by Adidas, and you can buy it from a clothing booth for the low, low price of 40 credits, under the "Casual" category. If it looks like the one you often seen in gopnik memes, it is. It doesn't offer any above-average stats or abilities, but are you really prioritizing that when looking into casualwear?
Rastafarian's Shirt		This "rastafarian's shirt" (more like an outfit) consists of blue pants and a shirt with green, yellow (or gold if you prefer), and red stripes. It's based on the flag of Ethiopia, a land which Rastas (followers of the Rastafari religion) call "Zion". Aside from the symbolism, it's pretty much a regular jumpsuit, with no special stats or abilities. You can randomly find it in Novelty Clothing Crates from Cargo.
Tiedye Shirt		Revisit the '60s with this groovy tiedye shirt, available in abandoned crates as part of the aesthetic item pool. No special stats or abilities, but check out those colors, duuuuuuuude.
Neapolitan Shirt		This neapolitan shirt is a mix of brown, pink, and white, just like Neapolitan ice cream. Despite the name, the design also goes down to the pants, so it's more like a neapolitan jumpsuit. It doesn't offer any unique abilities, and it has the standard jumpsuit stats, but how else will you look like a famous Italian dessert? One of the many "aesthetic" category items in locked crates.
Mint Chip Shirt		The mint chip shirt is green with black specks, mimicking the look of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Together with the brown pants, it makes you look kinda like an ice cream cone. Otherwise pretty much a regular set of shirt and pants (so default uniform-slot item stats, no special abilities). You can obtain this by opening abandoned crates; it's part of the "aesthetic" item pool.

(Exo)Suit

Item	Image	Description
Body Armor	/ /	See Security Objects.
Suicide Bomb Vest		See Murder.
Makeshift Armor		See Construction.
Light Armor Vest		See Gang.
Cardboard Box		Tactical espionage aid that's a zero-emissions vehicle. Can hide identity under certain cirumstances, but blinds you unless you cut out eyeholes with wirecutters. Tacticality can be augmented by adding a moustache and/or drawing a face on it with a crayon (neither action can be reversed). There are many variants; Medbay's Head Surgeon sometimes appears as a box, the Clown can get a unique variant, and there is a Captain version in a Martian derelict. Plain boxes appear in a few odd places, and you can build your own by deconstructing certain crates with a wrench for cardboard sheets and using them to make a box.
Monkey Suit		Ooh ooh, aah aah. Monkeys will chase, but not attack you while you are wearing this, though they will still attempt to pickpocket you and knock things out of your hand at random. Can be bought from Geoff Honkington for 300 credits.
Captain's Armor		Since the Captain is the big boss, the captain's armor is bigger than standard body armor and offers more protection too: this has 7 melee resistance rather than 6 (so it reduces damage of melee attacks to the chest by 7 instead of 6) and 1.5 ranged resistance instead of 1 (so it decreases damage from projectiles by 60% instead of 50%). Heat and cold resistance are same though. Captain spawns wearing this, naturally.
Commander's Armor		Same stats as captain's armor but in blue and red! (Which also means, stats-wise, the red and blue versions of commander's armor are identical to each other.) The blue version, which makes you look like a blueberry, is obtained by using the Icarus medal reward on captain's armor. The red version, which hides blood stains well, is obtained by using the Brown Pants medal reward on captain's armor. Formerly known as "administrator's armor".
Captain's Coat		Offers 35% cold and heat resistance, reduces damage from energy and kinetic projectiles by about 47%, and reduces damage from melee attacks aimed at the chest and limbs by 4. In relative terms, this is less protection than the captain's armor and normal body armor, but it offers better thermal protection. The cold resistance is equivalent to a regular winter jacket, essentially making this the Captain version of it. Found in the Captain's equipment locker.
Commander's Coat		Reskins of the captain's coat (i.e. they have the same stats as that item), stylized as fancy coats for commanders of Nanotrasen's security forces. Both have the same in-game name, but they are obtained in different ways; the blue one is the medal reward for Icarus, while the red one is the medal reward for Brown Pants. Previously called "administator's coat".
Bomb Disposal Suit		See Security Objects.
Heavy Armor		See Security Objects.
Class II Radiation Suit		See Engineering Objects.
Biosuit		See Medical Objects.
Armored Biosuit		See Construction.
Firesuit		See Engineering Objects.
Armored Firesuit		See Construction.
Paramedic Suit		See Medical Objects.
Armored Paramedic Suit		See Construction.
Apiculturist's Suit		The apiculturist's suit behaves like a standard biosuit, with the minor perk of reducing the chance of getting stung by the tiny bees created by the Nectar Perspiration mutation. Doesn't protect against the bigger kinds though, like the ones tended by Botanists. The Apiculturist/Apiarist gimmick job spawns with this, and you can also find it in a "Bee Sanctuary" in the Trench.
Space-American Football Pads		You can't tackle people if you aren't wearing these (and a bunch of other stuff) ! See Syndicate Items for more info.
Space Suit		Available in EVA. Protects from the vacuum of space and offer minor protection from heat and cold. Will slow down your running speed indoors.
Engineering Space Suit		See Engineering Objects.
Engineering Light Space Suit		See Engineering Objects.
Captain's Space Suit		As above, but green/blue/red! Green version found in the captain's quarters, while the blue and red variants are unlocked by two respective medals. Lets you move at regular running speed. The helmet and suit together provide full space protection.
NT Pressure Suit		See Security Objects
Red Space Suit		As above, but red! Also does not slow down your running speed indoors. Red suits are standard equipment of the dreaded nuclear operatives, and being spotted early in the round will result in frenzied cries of "SYNDIES!" and "REDSUITS!" Each Gear preparations closet has one, and Syndicate Apparel has two of these.
Commander's Great Coat		Spawns on the Nuclear Operative commander. Offers more than twice the bullet and melee resistance of regular red suits, on top of excellent explosion resistance. As the Examine text suggests, it prevents damage from being in Space when paired with a spaceproof helmet--such as the cap they also spawn with.
Specialist Operative Combat Dress		Like the red space suits, down to the lack of a movement speed penalty, but more tacticool and extra protective too. These lower damage from melee attacks to the chest by 4, reduce damage from ranged projectiles (but not throwing items) by 60%, and lessen effects of explosions by 30%, decreasing damage and chance of losing limbs. Comes in the following varieties, each purely aesthetically different from the others: Specialist operative combat dress: Worn by Syndicate assault troopers, infiltrators, and special operatives. Specialist operative engineering uniform: Worn by combat engineers. Specialist operative marksman suit: Worn by marksmen. Road-worn stage outfit: Worn by bards.
Specialist Heavy Operative Combat Armor		A (mostly) extra-protective space suit for nuke ops who are heavy weapons specialists. Compared to the standard specialist operative combat dress, the specialist heavy operative combat armor has: Better melee resistance: 9 melee resistance for the chest, meaning it lowers damage from melee attacks aimed at the chest region by 9. The specialist operative combat dress has only 4. Better ranged resistance: it reduces damage from ranged projectiles (but not throwing items) by 66%, instead of just 60% Better cold resistance: 75% cold resistance rather than just 50% Less heat resistance: 25% heat resistance, compared to the 35% of the combat dress. This otherwise shares many properties with the specialist operative combat dress (e.g. cannot be melted by acid, 50 radOhms of radiation resistance, has no slowdown when worn, 30% explosion resistance, and so on).
Citadel Heavy Combat Cuirass		Slows you down immensely but lowers damage of melee attacks to the chest and limbs by 6, halves damage from ranged attacks to the chest and limbs, reduces the effect of explosions by 40%, and decreases stamina drained by stun weapons and projectiles. Functions as a spacesuit too, so it can prevent taking damage from space itself, if paired with the heavy specialist great helm or similar space helmet. Part of the Knight crate, which Nuclear Operatives can redeem from the Syndicate Weapons Vendor.
Specialist Operative Bombsuit		Exactly like the standard specialist operative combat dress, but it lessens the effects of explosions by 60% rather than 30%, significantly reducing damage and lowering chance of losing arms or legs. Comes with the Grenadier class crate from the Nuclear Operatives' Syndicate Weapons Vendor.
Specialist Operative Firesuit		Worn by syndicate firebrands. Similar to the usual combat dress but it gives more heat resistance and makes you fireproof. It also adds a snazzy pair of purely-aesthetic tanks on your back, presumably for non-existent oxidizer and fuel.
Specialist Operative Medic Uniform		Worn by nuclear operative field medics. This works like one half of a biosuit set, that is, it keeps you from contracting diseases somewhat and reduces amount of chemicals absorbed from beaker splashes, aerosol, and similar, if used in conjunction with internals
Specialist Operative Espionage Suit		Nearly identical stats to the standard specialist combat dress, but this one makes you move 25% faster when worn. This applies exclusively to movement; you don't stab or shoot faster or anything. This is part of the Nuclear Operative Scout loadout.
Syndicate Command Armor		Extra red, extra protective armored space suit found in surplus crates and sold by the Listening Post merchant. See Syndicate Items for more details.
Salvager Juggernaut Combat Armor		See Salvager.
Industrial Armor		See Guide to Mining.
Industrial Diving Suit		See Guide to Mining
Emergency Suit		Provides a decent amount of protection from the cold, but will slow you down significantly. Use if nothing better is available and try to avoid jumping into space with it. Found in Cargo's Emergency Equipment crates and sometimes spawns in emergency oxygen closets and a few other odd locations.
Replica Space Suit		A throwback to the days of the Apollo space program and a surprisingly high quality throwback at that. Not only is this replica space suit fully spaceworthy, but it also has identical stats to the space suit (such as 50% cold protection, a fair amount of slowdown if worn indoors/if not in space, etc.), to the point of basically being a reskin. Obtainable from abandoned crates, where it's part of the aesthetic item pool.
Civilian Diving Suit		Found in Oshan's EVA room as well as a few airlocks into the ocean. Offers good resistance against cold, reduces chance of contacting contagious viruses, fair resistance against heat, and a tinsy bit of protection from bullet and melee damage, but slows you down both indoors and out. You can navigate the surface ocean floor just fine without one of these, though you need it in the Trench to avoid burning up.
Engineering Diving Suit		Like the regular civilian diving suit, but in orange and yellow. If you're on Oshan Laboratory or Nadir, you can manufacture these at a mining fabricator.
Security Diving Suit		Same as a civilian diving suit but red, so it'll hide the blood stains. Two of these can be found in Oshan's Secure Hangar.
Command Diving Suit		Exact same stats as the civilian version, except it's blue and spawns only in the offices of Oshan Lab's Captain and HoP.
Coat		Goes by just "coat" in-game, but it's also called the detective coat, because the detective starts with it and gets an extra one in the "Detective's equipment" box in their Forensics equipment locker. Surprisingly protective: while it has default (5%) heat and cold resistances, it reduces damage from projectiles by 33% percent and decreases damage of melee attacks to the chest region by 2. You can also use the (Un)Button Coat (coat) button in the top left to change how it looks; this doesn't affect its ability to protect you.
Inspector's Short Coat		Short on cloth, short on time. But hopefully you still have to time to toggle whether it's buttoned or not by using the (Un)Button Coat (coat) in the top left; this only changes only its looks, not its stats. Despite the name, the inspector's short coat is not worn by the Inspector; that job actually gets an armored nanotrasen jacket. Rather, you obtain this by using the Neither fashionable noir stylish medal on a detective coat, which also means the short coat inherits the detective coat's stats.
Detective's Winter Coat		For when the heat of the cigarette in your mouth isn't enough to warm you, the detective puts on an extra layer of warmth, cozy. Can be found in the Detective's Office in the equipment locker.
Armored Nanotrasen Jacket		It might not look like it, but this "armored nanotrasen jacket" provides just as much protection as an armor vest. Starting equipment for the Inspector.
Faded Trenchcoat		Essential for rugged chain-smoking vigilantes.
Overcoat and Scarf		Johnny, please. He had a family. References Johnny Five-Aces, protagonist of Zybourne Clock, an absurd, unfortunately abandoned game project beloved by the Something Awful forums. Often appears in the Information Office and can be bought from a salvage-themed robotic merchant, where it's sold as a "Strange Suit" and goes by the name "Johnny~~".
Winter Jacket		A stylish winter coat, customized in departmental colors. You'll still freeze in space in these, but you won't lose as much heat if you walk into an area with a hull breach. Department-specific ones are found in the relevant uniform/job lockers, while generic grey ones appear in Cold Weather Gear crates.
Hoodie		A nice sweater with a hood, in both orange and blue. Perfect for skaters and Casual Friday fans alike. Can sometimes be ordered from a totally radical QM merchant named Josh and is available as a Spacebux item.
Logo Jacket		A surprisingly warm jacket with a logo on the back. Clothing booths offer these in several different colors with randomized logos, while a cerulean one with the Discount Dan's logo and slightly more cold resistance is available from the GTM.
Autumn Jacket		Look like a pumpkin, or an orange, or another orange fruit of your choice. While the autumn jacket may look like a hoodie, it's actually closer to the various logo jackets, in that there's no hood to flip up/down and in that it provides 20% cold resistance (and the generic 5% heat resistance and 2 melee resistance for the chest). The clothing booth sells this for 150 credits, but it's only available during September, October, and November.
Long Sleeved Logo Shirt	/	A simple overshirt with the Discount Dan's logo. One of the GTM prizes.
Santa Suit		Whoever's wearing this is either delivering presents or delivering a bomb. Believe it or not, it can function as a space suit, so wearing this with a suitable helmet (e.g. a santa hat) provides full space/cold protection, at the cost of a slight speed penalty. Santa wears this, of course, and you can also find it some in vaguely holiday-themed off-station areas. During Spacemas, the gear preparations closets on the Syndicate Battlecruiser spawn with a special version with no speed penalty, replacing the standard redsuits.
Wizard's Robe		See Wizard.
Security Badge		See Security Objects.
Head of Security's Jacket		See Security Objects.
Head of Security's Cape		See Security Objects.
War Medal		This war medal belongs to the Head of Security and appears in their office inside a frame. Extracting it from the frame simply involves clicking on the frame twice, once to get the glass out, once to actually get the medal out. Being a simple medal, it is purely decorative and offers no resistances, shielding, or other stat bonuses. It does, however, have unique Examine text depending on whether or not you are a HoS in-game.
Bedsheet		A sheet for a bed. Can be worn over your body, also see Construction if you want to see out of it.
Cape		See Construction.
Tiger Stripe Vest		Savage tiger stripes for a truly savage man.
+2 Robes of Dungeon Mastery		Hides most of your body and covers your face in complete blackness, potentially concealing your identity if you take some some extra precautions, though most headwear will still show. Spawns in the Nerd Dungeon to facilitate roleplaying a spooky, all-knowing, and mysterious tabletop game-master...or just a dork in a hood.
Sneaking Suit		Does not actually aid in sneaking or stealth, but definitely aids fashion sense with its badass eyepatch (don't worry, it doesn't actually block vision). There are two versions, with the same sprite but different amounts of protection. The authentic version has as much melee and ranged damage resistance as an armor vest is a very rare find when pulling from Spacemas/Christmas stockings. The "costume" version only has 1 melee protection (i.e. the generic value and much worse than the other version), mentions being "a cheap cosplay outfit with an obvious zipper" in its Examine text, and can randomly be found when opening easter eggs or pulling from Spacemas/Christmas stockings.
Chef's Coat		Worn by the Chef, of course. This double-breasted chef's coat provides slightly more heat resistance (10% vs 5%) than basic outerwear items. Comes in two colors, both alike in dignity: White - White as a ghost hot dog. Like a ghost hot dog, it has a red part: a snazzy red neckerchief! Default Chef gear. Catering Apparel has an extra one. Black - Black as the hair on a loaf of Elvis bread. Elvis loved blue suede shoes, and if you look closely, this also has something blue: a blue neckerchief. A Chef who's purchased Alternate Jumpsuit spawns with this instead of the standard white coat.
Apron		A simple white apron for the Chef and other food service workers. It confers a minor 10% chemical resistance. This is starting gear for the Sous Chef, and the Catering Apparel and FoodTech machines both dispense aprons.
Pizza Apron		Not an apron made of pizza, but an apron in the colors of the Italian flag, so you can signal to crew that you know how to make pizza when you unveil your deep fried weird cheese and spookie pie sandwich, perfectly grilled cheese wheel pie rangoon, and tomato pizza. Like other aprons, wearing this grants a minor 10% chemical resistance. Found by hacking into FoodTech machines.
Scarf		A simple yet stylish red scarf that provides 10% cold resistance. This is specifically inspired by the kind associated with mimes in real life, hence why the Mime gets one. You can buy one directly from the clothing booth for 100 credits (where it's called a "French Scarf") and indirectly from Geoff Honkington, a merchant in the Clown's personal quarters, who sells them in "mime costume" boxes (called "Mime Clothes" in the interface) for 150 credits each. If you're on Donut 3, you can also nab one from the Fuq III store, and you can also randomly find them by opening easter eggs, pre-spawned gifts, and stockings.
Suspenders		Or bracers if you're Space British. These don't actually hold your pants up, so these are mostly for style. You can buy them from the clothing booth for 100 credits, and if you're on Donut 3, you can also find them on the racks of Fuq III. They also appear in the Mimicry Equipment crate from Cargo and the "Alternate Mime Clothes" costume set sold by Geoff Honkington, a merchant in the Clown's bedroom/spawn area who sells them for 150 a pop.
Absurdly Stylish Cape		Dracula who? Dracula you if you're wearing this "absurdly stylish cape", a classic collared cloak forever associated with vampires thanks to the 1931 film Dracula. It's just a costume, though, so it doesn't provide any more protection than other outerwear items. These are found in "vampire costume set" boxes, which Geoff Honkington (a merchant in the Clown spawn area) sells for 600 credits a piece under "Vampire Costume". The Spooktober Job Discount Dracula spawns with this.
Strange Vampire Outfit		This "strange vampire outfit" is a direct reference to the villain Dio Brando from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood, specifically the famous scene where he responds to the question (depending on the translation) "How many lives have you sucked to heal those wounds?" with a "Do you remember how many breads you have eaten in your life?". This can be obtained by using the Dracula Jr. medal award on an absurdly stylish cape.
Starry Cloak		This starry cloak is actually very short, so don't count on it to protect you from harm if you encounter a bloodthirsty murderer or have to go through Space. If you ever find yourself in a fashion show though, they might be starstruck by your stylish outerwear. Available exclusively from abandoned crates, as part of the aesthetic item pool.
Rugged Jacket		If black jackets are cool, and torn clothes are cool, then torn black jackets are extra cool, right? That's certainly what the designer of this rugged jacket was thinking. It's a pretty thin jacket though, so it only provides default outerwear stats (5% cold and heat resistance, 2 melee protection for the chest) and otherwise has no unique perks or abilities. Still, it's the price you gotta pay for that punky style. Spawns in abandoned crates, as one of the aesthetic category items. You can also sometimes find it in maintenance, inside "random room" themed around a snail's soda shop.
Lined Jacket		A Indiana Jones-esque faux-leather jacket with added lining. (That's the white and brown stuff in the middle of the sprite; it's not a shirt-and-tie.) The lining is just for style and extra comfort, not warmth, which is why it has the default outerwear stats (5% cold and resistance, 2 melee protection for the chest). You can obtain this by going on an adventure of your own and cracking open abandoned crates; lined jackets are part of the "aesthetic" item pool.
Cow Jacket		Get your Cow RP on. This cow jacket is actually faux-cow, so no actual cows were harmed in the making of this jacket. It's also a costume piece, so it only has default outerwear stats (5% cold and heat resistance, 2 melee protection for the chest). Found exclusively in abandoned crates, as part of the "aesthetic" category.
Cool Jacket		This jacket is cool. No really, it is literally named "cool jacket" since it has a blue color-gradient suggestive of winter weather. It's just for aesthetics though; it otherwise has default outerwear stats (that is, 5% cold and heat resistance and 2 melee protection for the chest). It spawns in abandoned crates, as part of the "aesthetic" item pool.
Warm Jacket		This warm jacket has a nice orange color gradient, which is good for tapping into that blue-orange contrast. As stated in the Examine text, "warm" is just part of its name; it provides the default 5% cold and heat resistance and 2 melee protection for the chest, so it's not especially insulative. You can find it exclusively in abandoned crates, where it appears as part of the "aesthetic" item pool.
Cape of Flowing		It may not look like much with its default 5% cold and heat resistance and 2 melee protection for the chest, but this "cape of flowing" has a special power: it always flutters dramatically behind you, even if you're in Space, underwater, or in some other place that shouldn't be windy enough to make it flap so much. It can randomly appear inside abandoned crates, as part of the "aesthetic" item pool.
Autumn Cape		A stylish orange cape that covers the back (but not the shoulders or arms) and ends at around knee height. Made from real autumn leaves...or is it? In any case, the autumn cape is just a costume cape, so it only provides the default 5% cold and heat resistance and 2 melee protection for the chest. The clothing booth sells this for 150 credits, though only during the Goonstation's autumn season, meaning September, October, and November.
Witchfinder General's Coat		Who wears the witchfinder general's coat? Well, the Chaplain, actually, who finds (and fights) all sorts of supernatural threats, like Wraiths and Vampires, not just witches. The coat itself has no supernatural powers or special abilities (aside from looking stylish), and it has generic exosuit/outerwear stats (5% cold and heat resistance and 2 melee protection for the chest). It spawns in the Deus Ex Machina, inside a "Witchfinder's equipment" box with other witchfinder general outfit pieces.
Adeptus Mechanicus Robe		This "adeptus mechanicus robe" is inspired by the Adeptus Mechanicus from Warhammer 40,000, a group of priests who worship machines and outfit themselves with cybernetics in emulation of their objects of worship. The cybernetics on this one, though, are just for show. With that said, the robes do hide the wearer's hair, and they're so thick that they provide a minor 10% chemical resistance. Found, fittingly, in the Deus Ex Machina, for the benefit of the Chaplain.
Weird Cultist Robe		An intricate teal "weird cultist robe" for fervent followers of the Flockmind. It doesn't let you understand the Flockmind or anything, but it does hide the wearer's hair (preventing it from sticking out the hood) and can hide their identity, in certain circumstances. It also provides 10% chemical resistance; there are better options, but at least it's better than nothing, right? Appears in the Deus Ex Machina machine, for the Chaplains who (for whatever reason) want to worship the Flockmind.
Waistcoat		A simple black waistcoat with 10% heat and cold resistance, which is slightly better than default. (It also has the default 2 melee resistance for the chest, so melee attacks to the chest region are lowered by 2.) Starter clothing for the Inspector and Waiter, but not the Bartender, though there are two in Catering Apparel in case they (and other catering jobs) want one. The Clothing Booth also sells waistcoats for a modest 100 credits.

Labcoats

Fashionable, yet functional outerwear for those in the medical and science/research departments. They can be unbuttoned and buttoned to toggle scientific fashionability through a button in the top left. While the regular labcoats are blank and austere, there are several unique varieties that have special little markings on both the front and back. Unless otherwise noted, they all provide 25% chemical resistance, 15% heat resistance, and 15% cold resistance.

Item	Image	Description
Labcoat		An austere, white labcoat, with no specific job markings. It can be found in the Medical Apparel and Research Apparel vending machines.
Geneticist's Labcoat		It doesn't take a superhuman to realize that Geneticists wear the geneticist's labcoat. There are two versions of this. They have different sprites but otherwise function identically. Green - Geneticists spawn with this, of course. Unlike the other labcoats used by the medical department, this does not appear in the Medical Apparel machine. Red - Look like a slightly off-brand superhero. Weirdly, this does appear in the Medical Apparel machine (when hacked), and if you spawn as a Geneticist and have the Alternate Jumpsuit Spacebux item, you get this labcoat instead of the standard green one.
Roboticist's Labcoat		Guess who wears the roboticist's labcoat? Yep, the Roboticists, just as the name implies. There are two versions. One is mostly white with some grey, and the other is mostly grey, with some white. Both are mechanically alike and are meant to convey that the wearer is a Roboticist. Default - The version Roboticists normally spawn with. The Medical Apparel vending machine can dispense a spare. Alternate - If you have Alternate Jumpsuit, you get with this instead of the default roboticist's labcoat when spawning in as a Roboticist. The Medical Apparel vendor also has this, though obtaining it requires hacking the machine first.
Doctor's Labcoat		Medical Doctors wear this doctor's labcoat, so people can know they're doctors, and not, say, a Lawyers or Scientists. ("Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a...") There are a couple of different versions. They have different sprites but are all named "doctor's labcoat" and function like any other labcoat. Red - Red, but more of an orange-ish sort of red, so as to not arouse the ire of the Red Space Cross. Medical Doctors spawn with this, and more can be found in the Medical Apparel vending machine. Blue - This is what you spawn with if you have the Alternate Jumpsuit Spacebux item and join as a Medical Doctor. The Medical Apparel machine also has this, but you need to hack it first to access it. Patchwork - A cool reskin available as a reward for the Patchwork medal.
Scientist's Labcoat		An extra fancy version of the standard white labcoat. True to its name, Scientists spawn with the scientist's labcoat. It comes in two colors, purple and green. They look different but are mechanically alike. Purple - Like plasma gas. The default color Scientists spawn with. It also appears in the Research Apparel vending machine, and the reward for the Meth is a hell of a drug medal allows you to make one yourself. Green - Prank the Medical staff by pretending you're a Geneticist. If you have Alternate Jumpsuit, you get this instead of your normal purple scientist's labcoat when spawning as a Scientist. Like the purple version, this too appears in the Research Apparel vendor, though you have to hack the machine first before you can get it.
Grand Alchemist's Robes		These stylish blood-red "grand alchemist's robes" are a medal reward, this time for Illuminated. Yes, this is an anime reference. Yes, that anime is Fullmetal Alchemist. Yes, this is absolutely Edward Elric's coat. (Wear something black underneath, if you want to look even more like him.)
Orange Labcoat		An orange labcoat themed around Discount Dan's. You can redeem a Discount Dan's golden ticket for one at a GTM or get one from a Research Apparel vendor that's been hacked.
Research Director's Labcoat		An extra long labcoat, which not only demonstrates the Research Director's finer handle on SCIENCE! but also grants 30% chemical resistance, a cut above the 25% of standard labcoats. The Research Director spawns wearing this, of course, and they have an extra one inside a box labeled "Research Director's clothing" in their "Research Director's locker". This has different Examine text depending on whether or not you joined as the Research Director. If you are the Research Director, it reads "Your most prized lab coat; it took all your life savings to get it designed and tailored just for you." If you are not, it instead says "A bunch of purple glitter and cheap plastic glued together in a sad attempt to make a stylish lab coat."
Medical Director's Labcoat		Who wears the medical director's labcoat? The Medical Director, of course. Why do they wear it? Probably because the extra length grants it 5% more chemical resistance than the standard labcoat, putting it at 30% chemical resistance. The Medical Director spawns with this, obviously, and an extra coat can be found in their respective uniform box in the Medical Director's locker.

Head

Helmets and hats offer various bonuses, for instance a built-in flashlight or concealment of your face. Some of them are very stylish as well! Certain helmets, and a few hats, prevent people from getting a chokehold on you, which also means Changelings can't absorb you and Vampires and Thralls can't use their Bite Victim ability (this still won't stop Blood Steal). The Petasusaphilic trait replaces your trinket with a random piece of headgear. Finally, and most important of all, you can give GuardBuddies certain hats!

Item	Image	Description
Helmet	/ /	See Security Objects.
SWAT Helmet		Offers above-average melee-protection. Can be obtained from the random hat trinket, or as an item for weak Syndicate Operatives.
Captain's Helmet		A nerdy yet protective hat fit for a captain. Green appears in the equipment locker for the Captain, while the blue "commander's helmet" and red "CentCom helmet" variants are unlocked by the Icarus and Brown Pants medals, respectively.
Riot Helmet		See Security Objects.
Blast Helmet		See Security Objects.
Siren Helmet		See Security Objects.
Constable's Helmet		'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, wot's all this then? This constable's helmet is inspired by the "custodian helmets" worn by British police officers, specifically male Police Constables (aka "bobbies") in England and Wales. It spawns in the Security Apparel machine, so that Sec can get their Dixon of Dock Green cosplay on, and it can also sometimes appear in Haberdasher's Crates.
Class II Radiation Hood		See Engineering Objects.
Bio Hood		See Medical Objects.
Apiculturist's Hood		Reduces probability of getting stung by the small bees created by Nectar Perspiration mutation. It's otherwise a reskinned bio hood, so it has the same stats and functionality. The Apiculturist/Apiarist job spawns with this, and it can also be found in a "Bee Sanctuary" in the Trench.
Emergency Hood		The companion piece to the emergency suit. Wear it with that for some more complete Space and cold protection. Found in the Emergency Equipment crate from Cargo and sometimes in emergency oxygen closets and a few other odd places.
Space Helmet		Available in EVA. Protects your eyes while welding, but slows you down slightly.
Engineering Space Helmet		See Engineering Objects.
Engineering Light Space Helmet		See Engineering Objects.
Captain's Space Helmet		As above, but green/blue/red! Green version found in the captain's quarters, while the blue and red variants (which are named "commander's space helmet") are unlocked by two respective medals. Lets you move at regular running speed. The helmet and suit together provide full space protection.
NT Combat Helmet		See Security Objects.
Red Space Helmet		The infamous space helmet of the Syndicate. The red space helmet can be found in gear preparations closets and the Syndicate Apparel vendor and is occasionally worn by nuke ops. It shares many of the same stats as standard crew space helmets but is also superior to it in many ways: it provides better protection against chemicals (30% vs. 20%), it has slightly more heat resistance (15% vs. 5%), it's acidproof (so fluorosulfuric acid and the like can't melt it), and, unlike many crew-obtainable space helmets, it doesn't slow you down at all!
Specialist Combat Helmet		An evil red helmet with a lime and blood orange visor to distinguish all specialist nuclear operatives from the regular ones. It shares many properties with the red space helmet (e.g. 30% chemical resistance, does not slow you when worn, cannot be melted by fluorosulfuric acid and the like), but it also reduces the effect of explosions by 10% and offers 50 radOhms of radiation resistance, a cut above the red space helmet's 5. A few classes come with unique, purely aesthetic variants: - A sneaky red headband for Metal Gear references, worn by Infiltrators - Worn by firebrands, comes a built-in, nonfunctional filter for extra spookiness. - Named "specialist combat cover", but is still otherwise same as specialist combat helmet, save for the long, static bandanna/scarf. Worn by marksmen. - Named "anarchist performance helmet". 100% more fashionable then your standard specialist combat helmet, this one is worn by syndicate bards.
Specialist Welding Helmet		Unique helmet used by nuclear operative engineers. Protects one's eyes when welding and also has a built-in, toggle-able meson goggles. Stats-wise, it's identical to the specialist combat helmet, e.g. it provides 30% chemical resistance, cannot be melted by fluorosulfuric acid and the like, does not slow you when worn, etc.
Specialist Health Monitor		A specialist health monitor, for the nuclear operatives' medical specialist. When worn, it acts like ProDoc Health Goggles with an health analyzer upgrade installed, allowing you to assess health levels at a glance using various icons and Examine people close to you get a more detailed health readout (readout is same as an unupgraded health analyzer.) Otherwise, it's identical to the specialist combat helmet (e.g. does not slow you when worn, 30% chemical resistance, cannot be melted by acids, etc.)
Heavy Specialist Great Helm		A great helmet with great resistances. The heavy specialist great helm has almost identical stats to the standard specialist combat helmet; notably, both cannot be melted by acids and have 30% chemical resistance, 50 radOhms of radiation resistance, and 10% explosion resistance. However, it differs in a few ways. It slows the wearer when worn "in-doors" (that is, when not in Space or the Seafloor) but grants the following resistances: Lowers damage of melee attacks to the head by 6 (standard specialist combat helmet does only 4.) Halves damage from ranged attacks to the head, something the specialist combat helmet does not do. Significantly cuts down on the stamina drain caused by bright lights (e.g. flash powder) or especially loud noises (e.g. flashbangs), to a far greater extent than the specialist combat helmet. Part of the Knight loadout, which Nuclear Operatives can order from the Syndicate Weapons Vendor. It's meant to be paired with the citadel heavy combat cuirass; when worn together, they provide ample protection and shield the wearer from the harmful effects of being in Space/on the Seafloor.
Commander's Cap		Spawns on the head of the Nuclear Operative commander. It may not look like it, but the commander's cap is spaceproof, so it can fully protect you from Space damage (and Trench damage to some extent) when paired with a space suit. (Speaking of which...) In fact, stats-wise, it's basically a red space helmet that also has 10% explosion resistance (meaning this cap also has no slowdown, is acidproof, etc.) It has less radiation protection than the specialist combat helmets though.
Syndicate Command Helmet		See Syndicate Items
Salvager Juggernaut Combat Helmet		See Salvager.
Industrial Space Helmet		See Guide to Mining.
Replica Space Helmet		Relive the moon landing and other great moments in Space American spaceflight with this replica space helmet, obtainable from abandoned crates (it's part of the aesthetic item pool, surprisingly.) Despite the name, it's more than a mere replica; it's actually fully spaceworthy and shares identical stats to the standard space helmet (e.g. slows you down a bit if you're not in space, protects against chems a fair bit, etc.)
Industrial Diving Helmet		See Guide to Mining
Civilian Diving Helmet		Found in EVA and a few external airlocks on Oshan Lab. Protects your eyes while welding and comes with a nifty helmet light. Still not needed for navigating the Trench.
Engineering Diving Helmet		Exactly like the civilian version, but orange, yellow, and located in Mining Department & Engineering areas of underwater maps, i.e. Oshan Laboratory and Nadir. On those maps, you can also manufacture additional engineering diving helmets at a mining fabricator.
Security Diving Helmet		Same as a civilian one but for redshirts. Two spawn in Oshan's Secure Hangar.
Command Diving Helmet		Just like the civilian diving helmet, except it's command blue and spawns in only Oshan Lab's Captain Quarters and HoP Office.
Hard Hat		See Engineering Objects.
Chief Engineer's Hard Hat		See Engineering Objects.
Firefighter Helm		See Engineering Objects.
Welding Helmet		See Engineering Objects.
Hotrod Welding Helmet		See Engineering Objects.
Captain's Hat		Everyone knows the wearer of this hat is the true captain of the station. Confusingly, there's another hat that's also called "Captain's hat", but it has a completely different style.
HoS' Hat	/	Nothing says authority like a cool hat, or alternatively a stylish beret. Click on it to switch between the two. Both offer above-average melee protection.
Officer's Hat		A fancy bicorne hat, part of the Heads of Staff dress uniform. The Head of Personnel, Medical Director, Chief Engineer, and Research Director (i.e. every Head besides the Captain and Head of Security) all get one in their respective uniform boxes that spawn in their respective equipment lockers. In addition to looking fancy, it offers surprisingly above-average melee protection, reducing melee blows to the head by 3 (note this is less than what an actual helmet would give you.)
Sea Captain Hat		A dashing hat for any aspiring seamen. Can be obtained from a Torpedo prefab on Oshan.
Fancy Captain's Hat		An extra fancy bicorne hat for the Captain, even fancier than the Officer's hat other Heads of Staff get. This spawns in the "Captain's clothing" box that appears in the Captain's equipment locker, ostensibly as part of a parade/dress uniform. The fashion comes at a cost though; it only reduces damage from melee attacks to the head by 3, whereas the regular version reduces it by 4. This appears as just "Captain's hat" in-game, which is quite confusing since there's another hat with the same name, but a completely different design.
Detective's Hat		A hat fit for a man down on his luck and all out of time on a station full of assholes. Like a glass of hard liquor or a Detective to a c-saber, it can be tipped, causing a silly message in the chat and prompting your character to say either "M'lord", "M'lady", or "M'liege", chosen at random. This does not kill you. One way to *tip is to press T and type *tip; see Game FAQ#Emotes for other ways to do emotes in general.
DetGadget Hat		A hat that can hold many different items, accessible via a code phrase. See Security Objects for more details.
Deer Stalker Hat		A hat for hunting down Space deer, or for just solving mysteries. Can be found in the Detective's Office in the equipment locker.
Nurse Hat		See Medical Objects
Head Mirror		See Medical Objects
Fedora		Yes, just like in those digusting pictures of neckbeards. In addition to having a random adjective associated with the meme (like "euphoric" or "intellectual"), bees and GuardBuddies actively admonish you for even thinking of offering them this hat, the Detective has one in their office just to show how down in the dumps they are, and if you *tip it, God Himself comes down to...send you early.
Smooth Criminal's Hat		You've been hit by, you've been struck by...yep, this is a reference to Michael Jackson's outfit in his music video for "Smooth Criminal". Like other fedoras, you can *tip it (press T and type *tip, see Game FAQ#Emotes for more info on emotes) to get a silly chat message and make yourself say, at random, either "M'lady", "M'lord", or "M'liege"; unlike the black fedora, this does not kill you. In addition to randomly appearing in Haberdasher's Crates from Cargo, you can buy it from a Clothing Booth, where it's labeled as "White Fedora".
Chef's Hat		The Chef's hat spawns on the Chef's head (naturally), and is based on the toque blanche (with standard/default hatwear stats), because what kind of chef doesn't have a big hat? A bad one. With awful food. While "toque blanche" is French for "white hat", this particular toque actually comes in two colors: White - Like a rice ball, coconut meat, and cream pie-infused three-tiered custom cake with cream frosting. This is what the Chef spawns with by default. Extras appear in the Catering Apparel and FoodTech machines. Black - Like a burnt three-tiered cake. A Chef who's purchased the Alternate Jumpsuit option spawns with this black toque blanche (or should it be toque noir?), rather than the white one.
Puffy Chef's Hat		This take on the toque-blanche is a throw-back to the classic chef's hat of old, back when it looked kinda like a puffy white butt when worn. Same stats as its modern counterpart, which is to say the default stats. You can find the Puffy Chef's Hat exclusively in the Catering Apparel machine.
Sous-Chef's Hat		Who wears the Sous-Chef's hat? The Sous-Chef, of course. Since they're the Chef's second-in-command, their hat is shorter than the head honcho's. It still has the same stats though (i.e. it has the default hat stats.) Aside from spawning with the Sous-Chef(s), it also appears in the FoodTech and Catering Apparel vending machines.
Itamae Hat		See Chef
Tall Chef's Hat		See Chef
Rastafarian Cap		A round green cap with a bit of red and yellow, something a follower of Rastafarianism might wear. As its description says (and as its sprite implies), the rastafarian cap comes with black fake dreadlocks, but it comes with a fake beard too, also in black. It's one of the many hats that can appear in the Haberdasher's Crate from Cargo. It's also found in a storage area adjoining Cogmap2's Hydroponics area, a reference to how cannabis is a sacrament in Rastafarianism.
Merchant's Hat		An oversized white sombrero for merchants and salespeople of all stripes.
Sunhat		Beautiful. Sunhats can be brought from clothing booths, which are generally in either Crew Quarters or Locker Room, and Donut 3's clothing store has hat racks with them.
Stunhat		From late-night Discord discussions. When worn, this hat creates sparks and briefly stuns shameful miscreants who are out to pat you on the head. See Construction for more details.
Lace Veil		A beautiful lace veil decorated with a small flower, often worn by brides at weddings. It's just a thin sheet of cloth, so don't expect much in the way of stats or protection, but do expect the wearer to say an "I do." The clothing booth sells these for 900 credits each. You can also find in them in Wedding Supplies crates (which always come with two), as well as Haberdasher's Crates if you're lucky. If you're Donut 3, you can also find them on one of the hat racks.
Top Hat		A fine chapeau for a space gentleman/lady of leisure. In-game, it's simply named "hat", but it's clear as day that it's a top hat. These standard black top hats can be found in formalwear closets and the Catering Apparel machine. You can also make them at uniform and personnel equipment manufacturers.
White Hat		Not quite the white hat that gives white hat hackers their name, but it's a stylish white top hat nonetheless. These can be bought at the clothing booth for 150 credits; they're listed as simply "White Hat", matching the in-game name "white hat".
Golden Hat		Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her; / If you can bounce high, bounce for her too, / Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover, / I must have you! It may simply be called "golden hat" in-game, but it is clearly no ordinary hat. These glittering golden top hats can be bought with as a Spacebux item and also have a chance to appear in Haberdasher's Crates.
Purple Hat		Scrumdiddlyumptious! The purple top hat, simply called "purple hat" in-game, provides everlasting style and is loosely inspired by Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and candy made by The Willy Wonka Candy Company (now known as Nestlé Candy Shop). One comes bundled in a "Victorian Confectionery Factory Owner" costume set, which Geoff Honkington, a Clown-themed merchant that lurks in the Clown Hole/Tent, sells at a 150 credits per set. They can also spawn in Haberdasher's Crates, if you're lucky.
Large Top Hat		I do say, you are a fancy chap aren't you? Can be fabricated at a Uniform Manufacturer as a hidden item.
Autumnal Clown Hat		A funny little orange top hat, for a funny little doofus. Unlike its golden and purple siblings, the autumnal clown hat does not have extra cold resistance (i.e. it provides the default of 10%). It spawns in a crate of outfits inside the Clown's personal quarters during Goonstation's autumn season, which runs from the beginning of September to the end of November (in UTC time).
Beret		For bringing out your inner dictator. Or inner Space Frenchie. Monsieur Stirstir starts out with a special orange one, and there's supposedly an undead robot merchant that sells many versions of these hidden in the Debris Field.
NanoTrasen Beret		For showing your devotion to NanoTrasen. You are guaranteed to spawn with one if you have the NT Loyalist trait, Officer Beepsky has one in a crate in their house, and you can buy some from Thrifty B.O.B., a shady robot merchant in the Trench/Mining Level diner who would prefer that you not ask where it got them.
Mime Beret		A symbol of the Mime's monochromatic style and humor, and a highly valuable target for the clown.
Mushroom Cap		Found in the clothing booth during Halloween and also rarely found in the Haberdasher's Crate
Strawberry Beret		Not quite a raspberry beret, but still a red berry-themed beret nonetheless. It doesn't have any special abilities, and its stats are same as many other hats, but it does offer a whimsical fashion sense. The strawberry beret is available from the clothing booth for 100 credits.
Blueberry Beret		Another berry-themed beret. No special stats or abilities, but it sure does look stylish. Available from the clothing booth for 100 credits.
Flat Cap		A round cap with a slight brim, associated with the Space English working class, Space Yorkshire, and Space English working class from Space Yorkshire. It's also popular among Space Jazz musicians, which is why the Musician job spawns with one and why you can sometimes find them in the Jazz Lounge, depending on the map. You can also vend flat caps from the Security Apparel vendor (if you have access, of course), and they sometimes appear in Haberdasher's Crates. You can also click on it with a razor blade to hide it into the cap. Not only is the hat still wearable, but the hat also inherits the razor's stats, like its chance to cause bleeding and its special attack. You're essentially disguising the razor as a flat cap, though it's not 100% stealthy, because doing this adds a line in the description saying "This one has something metal hidden in the brim."
Hat		Generic knit caps available in many colors, including one that rapidly changes between all colors, which you can often find in the Locker Room or equivalent and make with a Personel Equipment Manufacturer or Uniform Manufacturer.
Postmaster's Hat		Also known as the "mailman's hat", its old name, and "mail courier's hat". Any self-respecting postal worker needs a postmaster's hat to show off how important their package is. Hence why it's standard garb for the Mail Courier. Comes in two colors: Blue - A classic. Appears in Quartermaster's lockers, logically located in the Cargo Bay, and depending on the map, there may also be an extra postmaster's hat in either the Routing Depot or Disposals. Orange - Look somewhat like the alternate universe version of an Italian plumber's arch-nemesis. This is what the Mail Courier spawns with if they have Alternate Jumpsuit.
Nun Hood		A head garment traditionally associated with Christian nuns. Despite what you may expect from it being a nun hood, this does not actually hide your hair, so it may poke out in a weird way depending on your choice of hairstyle. As the Examine text says, it also does not boost singing skills, so you're on your own if you want to re-enact Sister Act. Found in the Chaplain's Deus Ex Machina...machine, which also has its companion piece, the nun robe.
Turban		A simple cotton turban, which forms one half of the Chaplain's imam outfit. (The other half is the imam's robe.) Surprisingly protective; it offers 10% heat resistance and 15% cold resistance, which is better than a lot of headwear (though there are definitely better options if you want to really maximize those stats). Found in the Deus Ex Machina vendor. Can also sometimes appear in Haberdasher's Crates from Cargo.
Rabbi's Hat		A round-brimmed hat and peyois (or sidelocks) for stalwart practitioners of Orthodox Judaism. True to the Examine text's promise, the peyois on the rabbi's hat actually appear on your character's sprite when worn, which may or may not look quite goofy depending on your hairstyle. This is one half of the Chaplain's rabbi outfit (the other half being the rabbi's jacket), which is why it spawns in their Deus Ex Machina vending machine. It can also randomly appear in Haberdasher's Crates from Cargo.
Formal Turban		A simple but elegant yellow dastār (or turban) with a green jewel, perfect for followers of Sikhism. It's actually moderately functional too; it provides 10% heat resistance and 15% cold resistance, which is better than all other Chaplain hats save the (not-so-formal) turban (which has equal stats). The formal turban, together with the siropa robe, form the Chaplain's guru (in the religious sense) outfit, which is why both items spawn in the religious-themed Deus Ex Machina vending machine. Haberdasher's Crates from Cargo sometimes have this.
Witchfinder General's Hat		A dark-colored capotain, for those pretending to be 17th century witch-hunters or those pretending to be Vincent Price pretending to be a 17th century witch-hunter. It's just a costume piece, though, so it doesn't help you detect wizards or anything. The witchfinder general's hat is part of the Chaplain's witchfinder ensemble, which is why it appears in the Deus Ex Machina vending machine, bundled with other witchfinder clothing in a "Witchfinder's equipment" box.
Druid Mask		A bush-like head cover, perfect for Chaplains who want to play druids or nature-worshipers. No druid powers included though. Despite the name, the druid mask actually goes in your head slot, not the mask slot. While it obscures much of your face when worn, it does not actually conceal your identity, though it does hide all your hair, indirectly making you less identifiable. It spawns in the Deus Ex Machina vendor, alongside its companion piece, the druid robes.
Outlander's Mask		Made in the image of an extinct alien race. Covers your hair, so it doesn't poke out while you're cosplaying (it is just a costume, so it has default stats.) Surprisingly, despite being called the "outlander's mask", it's worn in the head slot, not the mask slot. Another surprise: it does not conceal your identity, even though it covers most of your face when worn. One half of the Chaplain's outlander outfit; the other half is the outlander's jumpsuit. Both spawn in the Deus Ex Machina.
Wizard's Hat		See Wizard.
Safari Hat		See Syndicate Items.
Space-American Football Helmet		Provides 6 melee resistance for the head area, more than a standard helmet. Required headwear for Syndicate American football players.
Syndicate Hat		See Syndicate Items.
Very Syndicate Hat		Same traits as the Syndicate Hat but now it's extra illegal, bigger than your inventory slot, and much, much taller. Committing suicide by this hat is also far more explosive. It's better seen than explained, and it's worth seeing, for it primarily spawns through Admin shenanigans.
T.U.R.D.S. Helmet		A relic of a thankfully bygone era. Provides the same protection as a SWAT Helmet.
Butt		May or may not be your own. Available from the roboticist or synthbutt plants.
Cyberbutt		A hyper-advanced cyborg butt. Available from hacked robotics fabs.
Pumpkin		If you are having trouble seeing after wearing this, try carving a hole in it.
Spiced Pumpkin		A spookier version of the normal pumpkin hat, carved in the same way. Against all odds, it won't burn your eyes.
Cakehat		A long-time favorite of greyshirts.
Fruit Basket Hat		Like that of lady of the tutti-fruity hat. So tall it goes outside the regular 32x32 character sprite. Available primarily through Spacebux.
Plunger		Let's face it, there isn't much of a difference between assistants and a toilet.
Bucket Helmet	/	See Construction.
Bucket	/	Can be flipped up in-hand and worn as a helmet, dumping out all its contents and obscuring your vision if worn.
Camera Helmet	/	A video camera you can wear on your head! You can view the feed through either a television or certain camera viewers. Telescience gets a blue one so they can visually scout out their teleport locations, while Security sometimes spawns with a red version .
Paper Hat		Made from a piece of paper, obviously. Hold it in your active hand, right-click on it and select fold into hat.
Powdered Wig		All the style of a 18th century aristocrat, and all the cold hard justice of a judge. Found in the Courtroom.
Wig		You honestly can't tell the difference. Usually found at the Barbershop.
Apprentice's Cap		A more evolved form of the paper hat that may have some actual magic in it! Or maybe just asbestos. It certainly doesn't have enough magic to be a wizard hat though, so don't get any ideas. Rumored to have peculiar effects on mops and brooms when a Wizard is on the station. This often lurks in the Chapel or wherever tabletop-gaming nerds conglomerate. It's also possible to make your own.
Royal Apprentice's Cap		A majestic blue "Royal Apprentice's Cap", given out as a GTM prize and found in a Discount Dan's-themed asteroid that sometimes appears in the Mining Level. Still not cannot function as a wizard hat.
Plumber's hat		The hats of strange men who punch boxes and save princesses. Wear it with plumber's overalls for an interesting interaction with toilets.
Bobble Hat and Glasses	/	The hat and/or glasses of a man you were never meant to see.
2k13 Vintage Santa Hat		Enchanted with Spacemas magic to provide as much as cold protection as the other space helmets, at the cost of a slight speed penalty on par with regular space helmets. Comes with a free beard too. Some maps have these year-round, usually somewhere in the Kitchen or some such. During the Spacemas season, you can order Holiday Supplies crates, which each contain three of these. Santa Claus wears it, as you'd expect, but so do the Nuclear Operatives, since they get a special version of this hat with no speed penalty in their gear preparations closets, in lieu of the regular red space helmets.
Doo Rag		BECAUSE I'M WILD YEAH!
Birthday Hat		A special birthday hat for the birthday boy/girl/thing, available from Party Supplies crates. Comes in pink and blue variants.
Party Hat		A conical paper hat for every occasion, available from Party Supplies crates. Comes in 9 different flavors.
Cat Ears		Found in the Clothing Booth, they come in both the six colors of the rainbow (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple) and the three colors of morality (black, grey, white). The Bargain Bows and Bands Box from Cargo also has leopard ears, snow leopard ears, and tiger ears variants, on top of a few regular cat ear headbands in random colors. If you stick a headset into them, they, themselves, turn into a headset with the appropriate functionality.
Antlers		Comes bundled in the Bargain Bows and Bands Box from Cargo. Has the same functionality as the cat ears.
Giraffe Ears		With these giraffe ears, you can pretend you've just returned from a space safari or cosplay as a toy store mascot. Like cat ears, you can add a headset onto it, essentially turning the headset into stylish, but still functional, earwear. Exclusively available in the Bargain Bows and Bands Box from Cargo.
Bee Antennae		Buzz buzz! This bee antennae headband is the perfect accessory for botanists, apiculturists, and other fans of space bees. In fact, a professional space bee fan, the Spooktober Job WannaBEE, starts with these. Outside of Spooktober, you can still get your hands on this piece of Apidae-related apparel by ordering a Bargain Bows and Bands Box from Cargo. In addition, you can fit it onto a headset, giving you a bee-autiful ear-mounted radio.
Tinfoil Hat		Protects you from psychic attacks from Martians. Really. Wearing one also protects you from the hallucinogenic effects of psycho-stimulator field artifacts (aka madness artifacts). You are guaranteed to spawn with one with the Conspiracy Theorist trait and have a chance of getting one with the Petasusaphilic trait.
Waitress's Hat		A hat that a waitress from a 1950s diner might have worn. Available in the Clothing Booth.
Maid Headwear		For cleaning space dust and getting rid of space cobwebs left by space spiders. Maid headwear can be bought from a clothing booth for 100 credits, and the the Catering Apparel vendor comes with two of these.
Frog		This frog hat doesn't offer special bonuses or resistances, but, hey, it's a froggy hat, ribbit! Can be bought from a clothing booth for 300 credits.
Ushanka		Pretend you're Space Russian or cosplay an actor pretending to be Russian. This Russian fur cap has 15% cold resistance, which is less than what an actual space helmet provides, but that's still warmer than other hats you might find around. Can be bought from a clothing booth for 300 credits.
Pinwheel Hat		Also sometimes called a propeller beanie, the pinwheel hat might have any special resistances or bonuses beyond what every hat normally gives, and it obviously doesn't actually allow flight (in Space or otherwise), but the propeller on top spins as you move. What more could you ask for? Available from a clothing booth for 300 credits.
Jester Hat		Neither a clown hat, nor a mime hat, expect to be targeted by both. Available in the Jester costume box.
Boater Hat		Just like in those barbershop quartets and photos of old-timey gentlemen and ladies in semi-casual wear. Protection offered isn't any different from most hats, but, consider, style is unquantifiable. Every Barber spawns with one, and you can get your own from a clothing booth for 300 credits.
Sprout Hat		A little sprout that sticks out of your head. Cute! Available in the Clothing Booth for 150 credits.
Hair Bows		A cute little bow that rests on the top of your head. Adorable! Available from the clothing booth for 100 credits.
Starry Tophat		This starry tophat offers no unique stats or abilities, but it does offer an exquisite, if slightly archiac, sense of style, limited only by your imagination. You can pretend you're a space-faring magician, a sharply-dressed noble, a sharply-dressed noble moonlighting as a space-faring magician—whatever your heart desires, really. And if your heart desires this hat, then know that, barring some lucky Petasusaphilic rolls, it can only be obtained through abandoned crates, as an aesthetic category item.
Bear Hat		Cute. Sadly, the bear part of the bear hat is just for show; it doesn't provide much protection from the cold, and its stats are the default ones for hats. Great if you want to torment the crew with bad bear puns though. It's one of the "aesthetic" category items for abandoned crates.
Cow		Did you know cows have accents? The cow on this cow hat (which is just called "cow" in-game) doesn't, though, because it's not a real cow, which also means it just has default hat stats. Part of the "aesthetic" item pool for abandoned crates.
Rugged Hat		Ever heard of pre-ripped jeans? The rugged hat is like that but for headwear. It has no special properties or abilities, and its stats are the default headwear stats (5% heat and cold resistance, 1 melee protection to the head), but it's great if your outfit needs a torn black brimmed hat. You can find it in abandoned crates; it's considered part of the "aesthetic" item pool.
Torch Hat		Don't be fooled by the simple item sprite. This torch hat makes it look like there's an Olympic cauldron on your head, spewing out fire! It's just special effects though, so it won't ignite anything, unlike the cakehat, but that's also why its stats are the default/average. One of the many aesthetic category items found in abandoned crates.
Serpico Hat		In-game, this is just called "hat", but it's more than just an ordinary bucket hat, even if its default hat sprites suggest otherwise. It's actually a reference to the title character in Serpico. In the film, Serpico is an undercover cop who wears a bucket hat as part of his hippie disguise, which is why it's in the Security Apparel machine. It can also appear in Haberdasher's Crates from Cargo.
Construction Cone		See Engineering Objects.
Fish Fear Me Cap		See Fishing
Leaf Wreath		Adorn yourself with the fallen leaves for fall. The clothing booth sells this leaf wreath for 150 credits, but it's only available during Goonstation's autumn season, which runs from September to November.
Autumn Tree Hat		Why settle for just leaves when you can wear a whole tree? The autumn tree hat may not actually shed leaves or protect you very well, but it still looks pretty snazzy. This is seasonal in more ways than one; you can find it in the clothing booth, priced at 150 credits, but it's only sold in September, October, and November.

Masks

Item	Image	Description
Paper Mask		See Construction.
Gas Mask		Links with an air supply to provide internals. Can also obscure your identity if you are not wearing your usual ID card. Comes in two varieties, regular and emergency, but both are functionally the same. Scientists all begin with these, and the Research Apparel machine offers a couple extras. Some are available in Engineering Storage and a few odd areas in maintenance, and they also sometimes spawn in firefighting closets and emergency oxygen closets/cabinets.
SWAT Mask		The SWAT mask behaves just like the regular gas mask, but it's much more scary. There are two versions, both called "SWAT mask": Red - Grey and red, like the notorious Syndicate. You can get these from Syndicate Apparel, a vending machine in the Listening Post. Blue - A blue Nanotrasen-themed version, obtained by using the Leave no man behind! medal reward on a gas mask. You can also buy one from Sketchy D-5, a shady merchant in the Space/Sea Diner who sells them for 1200 credits a pop. The menu lists them under "Scary NanoTrasen Gasmask".
Gas Respirator		Another gas mask reskin, with different aesthetics. Like the Nanotrasen version of the SWAT mask, the gas respirator is also a blue-colored gas mask, but it sports a larger, less menacing visor. It's still functionally identical to the standard gas mask, so you can still breathe well while being fashionable. Obtained by using the Old Enemy medal reward on a gas mask.
NT Gas Mask		See Security Objects.
Syndicate Field Protective Mask		See Syndicate Items.
Breath Mask		Links with an air supply to provide internals. All crewmembers begin with a box containing a breath mask, and they are readily available in lockers throughout the station.
Medical Mask		See Medical Objects. Same as breath mask.
Sterile Mask		See Medical Objects.
Surgical Face Shield		See Medical Objects.
Clown Mask		Honk! Click on yourself on Help intent to honk the nose! You can also remove the wig by using it inhand.
Autumn Clown Wig and Mask		An autumn-themed reskin of the clown mask, with pointy hair the color of fall foliage. The autumn clown wig and mask spawns in the Clown's personal quarters, but only during September, October, and November (that is, fall for the Northern Hemisphere, where Goonstation's server is located).
Cursed Clown Mask		Mostly found on cluwnes, this horrible thing cannot be dropped or removed.
Mime Mask		Here's a secret about mimes that they can't tell you about: their makeup is actually a mask. Here's another secret: the mask can hide one's identity. Every Mime spawns with one, of course. The Mimicry Crates from Cargo come with one, as do both the mime costume sets from Geoff Honkington (a merchant in the Clown's personal quarters), which both go for 150 credits each. Speaking of Cargo, the Masquerade Crate may spawn with one or more of these.
Muzzle		See Medical Objects.
Owl Mask		Hoot!
Horse Mask		Imbues its wearer with the power of bad puns.
Skull Mask		Spooky. See Construction.
Wrestling Mask		¡Mucha Lucha! These wrestling masks come in several designs inspired by real-life luchador wrestlers and typically appear in the Gym, often in their own special wardrobe.
Balaclava		It's a ski mask with a fancy name. Unlike in real life, you can't fold the mask in different ways to suit your cold protection needs, and the cold protection it offers is same as other masks, but it does hide your face under under certain circumstances. You can sometimes find these in Masquerade Crates from Cargo, randomly-selected maintenance rooms, and rusted crates in the Trench.
Fake Mustache		See Syndicate Items.
Hunter Mask		See Hunter.
Vapo-Matic		Different slot, same functionality as the injector belt.
Vocal Translator		See Medical Objects.
Plague Doctor Mask		Spooky. Surprisingly functional: performs many of the same functions as gas mask. Sometimes appears in Cargo's Masquerade Crates.
Discount Fake Moustache		Unlike the syndie 'stache, this discount fake moustache/mustache can not hide your identity. However, it does have the same stats, and you can still twirl it evilly, so you really are getting a discount. Aside from being a Spacebux purchase, you can also sometimes find them by opening easter eggs, unwrapping pre-spawned gifts, and pulling from Spacemas stockings.
Fake Italian Moustache		Well, how else will they know you're Italian? With this fake Italian moustache (or mustache, if you prefer Washingtongue/American English spellings) of course, found by hacking a FoodTech machine. Unlike the syndie version, it cannot hide your identity, but it does offer extra cold and melee protection, and you can click on yourself with an empty hand while Help intent to twirl it evilly.

Gloves

Some gloves change the way you fight, and some bestow certain protections. Fire-resistant gloves in particular make patting out people on fire both safer and more effective. Normally, if you click on someone who's on fire while you're on Help intent and your active hand is empty, you reduce how long they'll burn by 1.2 seconds, but you'll take 1-2 BURN in the process. If you're wearing gloves with at least 7% heat resistance, you reduce it by 2.5 seconds, and there's a 50% chance you won't take any BURN.

Item	Image	Description
Insulated Gloves		See Engineering Objects.
Stun Gloves		See Construction.
Power Gloves		See Syndicate Items.
Unsulated Gloves		They look like insulated gloves, but they actually provide no insulation at all, so they won't protect you from electric shocks at all. You can't use them for stun gloves. You can sometimes spawn with them as an "heirloom", and you can make your own too. They're also found in a few odd locales here and there, and QM merchant Pianzi Hundan also sometimes sells these as "Mining Gloves".
Black Gloves		Standard equipment for the detective, quartermasters, botanists, and miners. Using a pair of scissors, knife or similar tool on these gives you fingerless gloves. You can also find can also find these in the Security Apparel machine. Syndicate Apparel has four pairs of these, for Traitors and other Syndicate operatives. The NPC merchant Pianzi Hundan may also have them; sometimes, he sells "Mining Gloves" that may turn out to be black gloves.
SWAT Gloves		Pretty much identical to black gloves, but they also protect from electrical shocks a fair bit and provide an 20% chance to deflect disarms, which include not only attempts to knock away your weapon but also shoves. Nuclear operatives start with these, while Nanotrasen Security Operatives start with the blue Nanotrasen variant.
Captain's Gloves		Gaudy green and gold gloves given to the Great Gourmand of Green. Despite being formal gloves, the captain's gloves are surprisingly functional, sharing the same protections and abilities as SWAT gloves.
Commander's Gloves		Reskins of the captain's gloves, more or less, that behave identically to SWAT gloves. There are two versions of the commander's gloves, blue and red; color differences aside, they have identical stats and functions. You get the blue version by using the Icarus medal reward on captain's gloves; similarly, you get the red version by using the Brown Pants medal reward on captain's gloves.
Combat Gauntlets		Essentially a better version of SWAT gloves, found in the Knight loadout from the Syndicate Weapons Vendor. On top of providing the same heat and electrical protection, these give a 25% chance to deflect disarms, an upgrade from 20%.
Fingerless Gloves		These don't hide your fingerprints for obvious reasons. Josh sometimes sells these, and the Security Apparel vending machine offers pairs for Security personnel who want to look tacticool. Syndicate Apparel has them too, so Traitors and their ilk can get in on it that tactical espionage action. You can also find them in Catering Apparel machines, and it's also possible to DIY and make your own.
Latex Gloves		Partially obscure the fingerprints of those who wear them. Sold by MiniMeds and available for free in Research Apparel, Medical Apparel, Catering Apparel vendors, if you have the required access. They can also be found throughout Medbay, both out in the open and in latex glove boxes, which often have gloves in colors besides white, such as light pink or sea green.
Psychedelic Gloves		The result of a Chameleon outfit's gloves being hit by an EMP blast.
Cursed White Gloves		Lumpy and uncomfortable gloves found on cluwnes. Cannot be removed.
Boxing Gloves		WENT THE DISTANCE, NOW I'M NOT GONNA STOP / JUST A MAN AND HIS WILL TO SURVIVE. These do not make punches harmless. Rather, they make your punches drain 35% more stamina, but they can no longer get random critical hits.
Concussive Gauntlets		See Guide to Mining.
Cleaning Gloves		See Janitor
Transparent Gloves		See Syndicate Items

Eyes

Item	Image	Description
Sunglasses		Protects you from flashes and offers minor protection when welding. No longer standard security gear, but can be found around the station. Each Nuclear Operative also spawns with a pair.
(Tanning) Sunglasses		Inferior versions of the above often found in the Pool. While they'll protect you eyes while you're tanning and make you look like Corey Hart, they won't protect you against flashes or other bright lights. They look just like regular ones, so you'll have to Examine them closely to see if they're the real deal.
Security HUDs		See Security Objects.
Optical Thermal Scanner		See Security Objects.
Meson Goggles		See Engineering Objects.
Construction Visualizer		Relic of the Construction Worker and the Construction Game Mode. Lets you see markers placed down by the Floor and Wall Designer and Window Planner and see invisible monsters and invisibility fields created by cloaking devices, chameleon cloaks, and darkness cloaks. Currently unobtainable.
Psychedelic Goggles		The result of a Chameleon outfit's goggles being hit by an EMP blast.
Spectroscopic Scanner Goggles		See Science Objects.
Spectroscopic Monocle		See Bartender.
ProDoc Health Goggles		See Medical Objects.
VISOR		See Medical Objects.
Prescription Glasses		See Medical Objects.
Medical Eyepatch		Yarr! Obscures half the screen, naturally. Using it in-hand lets you change which side it obscures. You can also use a screwdriver on it to create a little hole, allowing you to see normally. This should ideally while not wearing the eyepatch, lest you poke your eye out instead. Medical fabs can make these.
Blindfold		See Medical Objects.
Advanced Optical Thermal Scanner		See Syndicate Items.
Night Vision Goggles		Lets you see dark areas much more clearly, albeit with a mild green tint. However, flashes, portable flashers, Mounted Flashers, and the like will stun you longer. Security Weapons Vendors offer these as one of many options under the Utility category, and a few pairs can be found on the Syndicate Battlecruiser and in the Armory.
Night Vision SecHUD Goggles		Night vision goggles which allow viewing of criminal records in realtime but come with the same flash vulnerability.
VR Goggles		Transmits you to a VR simulation. The public set lands people into the Entry Zone, a hub for different game zones. The detective's set loads up a private office (à la Heavy Rain). The scientist's set loads up the bomb testing simulator.
Monocle		Dapper.
Noir-Tech Glasses		See Detective.
Yellow Shades		Just like Randy's.
Ectoplasmoleic Imager		Or just ectogoggles if you're lazy. Goggles that let you see--not but touch, shoot, or otherwise interact with--Ghosts, Wraiths, and Poltergeists. Found in a spooky Adventure Zone area.
Peculiar Spectacles		They're peculiar because they're ectoglasses that let you see ghosts of all types, from regular ghosts to wraiths. However, they do not let you shoot them, stab them, hug them, or other interact with them beyond just pointing them. Found in a similarly-ghost themed Trench area and occasionally spawned due to spooky admin-only Random Events.
Custom Glasses		Custom-made glasses made through the nano-fabricator. They're more than simple glasses; while they do not fix short-sightedness, they do protect from Disorient (Eye) stun attacks (e.g. flashes) based on their density.
S.A.V. Goggles		See Salvager

Shoes

Walking barefoot will stun for a moment you and hurt you slightly if you walk over glass shards and mouse traps. Some shoes lack laces, meaning people can't use a pickpocket gun to tie them up and slip you. You can't trip over your shoelaces if you don't have shoelaces in the first place, after all.

Item	Image	Description
Shoes		Black, white, brown, orange, all functionally the same. For the most part, they protect your feet from broken glass and mouse traps.
Psychedelic Shoes		The result of a Chameleon outfit's shoes being hit by an EMP blast.
Military Boots		Offers more heat and cold resistance than regular shoes, though not by much, and reduces melee damage to the legs (and due to interesting design choices, chest and arms as well) by 1. More notably, they also make kicking and diving at people do 2 more damage. Security Officers and the Head of Security start with these shoes. The Security Apparel machine has some extra pairs, and these can also appear in the Shoe Crate from Cargo. Syndicate Apparel has some too, for Nuclear Operatives who lose theirs and for other Syndicate personnelseeking to ape their style.
Heavy Military Boots		See Security Objects. Like military boots, but noisier!
Captain's Boots		Shares same stats and functionalities as military boots, but they're brown instead of glossy black. (Did they start brown?) As the name "captain's boots" implies, the Captain spawns with these.
Galoshes		Prevents the wearer from slipping on most wet floors. Exclusive to the janitor, locked away in the Custodial Closet. Not immune to space lube and ice.
Torn Galoshes		Basically a joke item. They look like galoshes, and they're labelled "galoshes" in-game, but they are nothing but. They don't prevent slipping at all, and while they have the standard 5% cold and heat resistance, they have absolutely no chemical resistance whatsoever, making them worse than regular shoes. Found in various "prefab" locations in the Trench and Mining Level.
Magnetic Boots		See Engineering Objects.
Stomper Boots		See Engineering Objects.
Mechanized Boots		See Guide to Mining.
Mechanised Diving Boots		See Guide to Mining.
Rancher Boots		See Rancher.
Chef's Clogs		Contrary to the Examine text, chef's clogs don't quite protect from knives and falling objects. Rather, they provide 1 melee protection (so they reduce melee damage to chest by 1), have slightly better-than-average 7% chemical resistance (most shoes provide 5%), and boost damage when kicking by 1, bumping it up from 2-9 BRUTE to 3-10. Standard garb for the Chef and Sous-Chef, and the Catering Apparel vendor has two pairs of these (a pair of pairs as a sage might say).
Worn Boots		Worn down by years of use, worn down by life. The Detective spawns wearing these worn boots, because while worn boots have identical stats to generic shoes, they are much more inline with the Detective's sense of style. Sneakers don't exactly scream "1950s film noir", after all.
Moon Shoes		The latest in trampoline-miniaturization technology.
Cowboy Boots		No self-respecting rustler would be seen without a pair of these.
Synthleather Boots		A pair of fashionable, synthleather boots. Available in the Clothing Booth.
Space Cowboy Boots		See Hunter.
Cleats		Expensive-looking boots worn by evil American football players. Has spikes on the bottom that give kicks and dive kicks 6 extra damage, so kicks now do 8-15 BRUTE and dive kicks 7-12 BRUTE.
Boom Boots		See Syndicate Items
Hi-Grip Assault Boots		See Syndicate Items
Combat Sabatons		The combat sabatons that come with the Knight loadout used by nuke op are basically military boots, but better. They prevent slipping and have an ability that slightly slows you down but makes you immune to being thrown, pushed, pulled, or otherwise knocked back.
Rocket Shoes		See Construction.
Sandals		Perfect for lounging in the Pool or wandering some beach somewhere. The Obon Festival Crate from Cargo has several of these. Do not confuse them with the magic ones; these have no magical powers whatsoever.
Magic Sandals		Magic sandals are like galoshes on steroids. In addition to preventing you from slipping on common slipping hazards like gib piles and puddles of fluid, these sorcerous soles also prevent slipping on ice; space lube and organic superlubricant are still an issue though. They're also specifically designed to stop you from falling down after being hit by a segway, because magic. On top of that, they're enchanted to harder to strip; anyone trying to take these off your feet has to stand still for a whopping 10 seconds. Chaplain has access to one of these.
Wizard Magic Sandals		See Wizard
Witchfinder General's Boots		Because when you're kicking Vampire butt as a Chaplain, you gotta make sure you're kicking them with fine footwear. Unlike magic sandals, the other piece of footwear Chaplains have access to, the witchfinder general's boots do not protect against slips, but they do boost damage of kicks and slides by 1. Found in the Deus Ex Machina machine, inside the "Witchfinder's equipment" box, which contains other parts of the witchfinder general getup.
Shackles		See Security Objects.
Clown Shoes		Mock the poor soul who tries clowning without these. When worn, clown shoes have a small (0.5%) chance to make you slip and fall to the floor, making you stutter words for a while if you aren't wearing a helmet. Walking prevents slipping in the first slip, and once it happens, there's a 6-second coolcown before another slip can occur, because even clowns need mercy sometimes. If you have dyspraxia (e.g. you are a Clown), you can insert up to 5 crayons into these and make it so the shoes sometimes automatically write the character you set for the crayon(s) as you move. You can remove the crayons by clicking on the shoes with an empty hand while they're in your off-hand.
Autumn Clown Shoes		Because if you're tripping over your shoes, you might as well fall with style, right? As you might be able to tell from the name, these orange and brown "autumn clown shoes" are a fall-themed reskin of clown shoes (so they have the same stats and abilities). They spawn inside the crate of outfits inside the Clown's personal quarters but only during Goonstation's autumn season, which runs from September 1st to November 30th.
Cursed Clown Shoes		Cluwnes don't have it easy. Like all other cluwne items, these cannot be removed by the wearer.
Flippers		Flip, flop. Flip, flop. What possible use could these things have in space, you may ask? For swimming/wading through liquids (and the ocean!) faster, of course! If you're on an underwater map, i.e. Oshan or Nadir, you can make more flippers by using a general manufacturer, mining fabricator, uniform manufacturer, or personnel manufacturer.
Heels		Glamorous shoes you can buy with cash at a clothing booth. Heels make recognizable stepping sounds, but unlike in real life, they don't hurt your feet and impede your movement. Come in white, black, and red varieties. The red variety can also be found from easter eggs, randomly-spawned gifts, and stockings.
Dancin Shoes		These snazzy dancin' shoes reduce the cooldown on the *dance emote to 1.5 seconds, allowing you dance more often. This is an item you buy with Spacebux and can potentially keep through rounds.
Custom Shoes		See Ore Processing
Flats		A pair of simple flats in multiple colors. Available in the Clothing Booth.
Mary Janes		Dainty and formal shoes that make a pleasant clicking sound when you walk. Available at the Clothing Booth in four colors: black, brown, navy, and white.

Belt

In addition to belts, this slot can hold your PDA, most guns and the emergency oxygen tank.

Item	Image	Description
Fanny Pack		Like a backpack you can wear around the waist, except it has only 5 slots. Unlike the majority of regular belts, fanny packs can be used to store guns and other normal-sized objects. Can be found hidden around the station such as in Cog1's Information Office. Every Tourist spawns with one in lieu of a backpack.
Funny Pack		Get it? Fanny pack? Funny? Funny pack? Anyways, this is a special fanny pack the Clown starts with. It works like regular fanny packs, so it can fit things normal belts can't and all, but it has 7 slots instead of 5, making it basically a substitute/replacement for a backpack.
Mini Funny Pack		Like your regular Fanny/Funny Pack, but it only has 3 slots. These can be ordered in the Comedy Equipment crate from Cargo.
Syndicate Tactical Espionage Belt Pack		It's not just a fanny pack, it's a syndicate tactical espionage belt pack! It still has only 5 slots, but maybe now NT scum will fear you instead of laughing at you. Spawns in the Syndicate Apparel machine.
Syndicate Tactical Espionage Belt Pack XL		See Syndicate Items.
Janny Pack		See Janitor.
Rancher's Belt		See Rancher
Pistol Belt		See Syndicate Items
Revolver Belt		See Syndicate Items
Smartpistol Belt		See Syndicate Items
Injector Bag		See Syndicate Items
Security Belt		See Security Objects.
Utility Belt		See Engineering Objects.
Psychedelic Belt		The result of a Chameleon outfit's goggles being hit by a EMP blast.
Aurora Belt		See Engineering Objects.
Medical Belt		See Medical Objects.
Injector Belt		Once provided with a beaker, this fancy belt can be programmed to inject the user with stimulants when certain conditions are met, for example health thresholds or incapacitation. Can be bought from a space merchant.
Mining Belt		See Guide to Mining.
Wrestling Belt		See Syndicate Items.
Trophy Belt		See Hunter.
Aurora MKI Utility Belt		See Salvager.
Inner Tube		Lets you move through fluids much faster. A Pool-time essential.
Martian Bag-Of-Holding (Belt Form)		See Artifact Research

Ears

Item	Image	Description
Radio Headset		Generic headset used by some crew members. To speak into it, merely put a semicolon (;) before your words. One can also leave the microphone open to transmit everything within range or turn off the speaker to shut out the world. While the default frequency is 145.9, you may change that manually.
Civilian Headset		Can also operate on the civilian frequency, 135.5. Used by the chef, barman, botanist, janitor, chaplain, staff assistant and other civilian jobs. You can make an extra one at a Uniform Manufacturer or Personnel Manufacturer, and the Catering Apparel vendor has some too, if you're willing to pay up.
Security Headset		See Security Objects. Can also operate on the security frequency, 135.9, by prefacing messages with :g.
Research Headset		Can also operate on the research frequency, 135.4. Starting equipment for scientists. Speak to others in the Research department by prefacing your message with :r.
Medical Headset		See Medical Objects. Can also operate on the medical frequency, 135.6, if you preface your message with :m.
Engineering Headset		See Engineering Objects. Can also operate on the engineering frequency, 135.7, by prefacing a message with :e.
Shipping Headset		Allows access to two channels: :e goes into engineering, :c into the civilian channel. Worn by quartermasters.
Command Headset		Default equipment for all heads of staff. Starting a message with :h addresses the command channel, :c broadcasts to civilians for the Captain and HoP, :g goes to security for the Captain and HoS. The CE may use :e to talk to his department. The RD and MD can use :r to speak to the research and :m to the medical staff respectively.
Inspector's Headset		Besides 149.5, it also has access to the command frequency, which has the prefix :h. Worn by, who would have thought, Inspectors.
Radio Show Host's Headphones		The radio show host's headphones are used by the Radio Show Host (natch). They have access to the research (135.4), civilian (135.5), medical (135.6), and engineering frequencies (135.7), and its chat icon is a unique grey vinyl record icon. They also have 20% Ear Insulation (also known as Ear Disorient Resistance or Disorient (Ear) Resistance), reducing the effect of things that inflict sound-based stuns, like hootingium.
Multifrequency Headset		Available in the research wing. Works like a regular headset that can be manually tuned in to channels other than 145.9. It's mainly used to have a private communication channel while doing telescience.
Auditory Headset		See Medical Objects.
Earmuffs		Found in the CE's locker. Wearing these makes you unable to hear anything and protect you against some auditory attacks, for example flashbangs (if worn in combination with sunglasses) and vampire / changeling screeches.
Earplugs		See Syndicate Items
Syndicate Radio Headset		See Syndicate Items
Military Headset		See Syndicate Items
Cat Ears		Made from sticking a headset into cat ears headgear, they retain the color of the headband and the functionality of the headset used.
Antlers		Same functionality as the cat ears, but now you look like a deer!
Yeti-Fur Earmuffs		These stylish yeti-fur earmuffs offer a cool 80% cold resistance, and unlike regular earmuffs, they do not block your hearing. However, they only offer 80% Disorient (Ear) resistance, so it's less effective than regular earmuffs against things like vampire screech attacks and flashbangs. Found exclusively in abandoned crates, as part of the "player" item pool.

ID

Item	Image	Description
ID Card		You need one to access any areas on the map that are job-restricted. You also need this to use vending machines, ATMs, credit transfer devices, and various other machines. It can have many different access levels loaded onto it, which can be modified at a ID Computer. You can fit these inside PDAs, for maximum inventory efficiency! Comes in many different colors to indicate department: Red = Security Yellow/Orange = Engineering Green = Command Blue = Civilian Purple = Medical or Science/Research, collectively called MedSci Blank/Grey = No department Some jobs also get unique IDs to help them stand out: Captain Clown Nanotrasen Security Consultant and Inspector, plus three jobs that appear only via admin intervention: Nanotrasen Emergency Repair Technician, Nanotrasen Emergency Medic, and Nanotrasen Special Operative.
Agent Card		See Syndicate Items
Dabbing License		See Spacebux
PDA		See PDA.
Lanyard		Wearable mini-storage. Like in real life, you put your an ID card in it and use it as you would a standalone ID, e.g. you can (un)lock closets. It also boasts three extra slots for tiny items (e.g. cash or a pocket O2 tank, but not a PDA), though since the ID card takes up a slot, it's more like two. You cannot store multiple IDs; if you try to insert another one in, you'll just swap it out. If you need to remove the ID, you can right-click the lanyard and select Eject lanyard ID or use that verb from the Local tab; in both cases, it'll eject the ID into your hands or onto the floor if all your hands are occupied. Starting gear for Tourists. Depending on your luck, you may be able to find your own by exploring random rooms in maintenance. They can also appear in abandoned crates as part of the "player" item pool.

Back

Item	Image	Description
Backpack		Your main storage space. Has 7 slots that can hold tiny- to normal-size items. You can move objects inside it around by click-dragging their sprites. To take it off your back, drag and drop it to an empty hand. Blocking with this can give you extra protection depending on how filled it is, at a cost. Most jobs start with a plain grey one, but there are also blue, red, and green versions, which, save for the different palette and Examine text, behave identically. You can find more of them in personal lockers or make them at Uniform Manufacturers. In addition, there are also many other backpacks that come in completely different styles and have names besides just "backpack" but otherwise are mechanically alike.
Captain's Backpack		Captain spawns wearing this. Like many backpack variants, it's not different from the regular backpack aside from looking much more gaudy and fancy. The default is green; the Brown Pants medal reward lets you make a red version, and the one for Icarus can make a blue variant.
Medic's Backpack		The Medical Director and all the Medical Doctors spawn wearing one of these. Aside from a different sprite, these function exactly like standard backpacks; they aren't restricted to medical items or whatever. An extra medic's backpack can be found in the Medical Apparel vendor in Medbay.
Robotics Backpack		Grey and white, matching the uniforms of the roboticists who wear this, plus a white cross so the Red Space Cross doesn't assassinate them for using a red one. The robotics backpack is starting gear for Roboticists, and there's an extra one in the Medical Apparel vendor.
Genetics Backpack		The green and white of this genetics backpack indicate that the wearer is (likely) a geneticist. The white plus sign means they will help you evolve to the next stage of human evolution (or maybe just give you the ability to people fart on command.) Every Geneticist spawns with one, and the Medical Apparel machine contains an extra one.
Research Backpack		This research backpack is purple like plasma gas and white like the clarity of mind needed to make plasma into a bomb. The Research Director and Scientists spawn wearing this, and there are three spares in the Research Apparel machine.
Security Backpack		Red and black, as befitting the crew's gang of redshirts. It may look slightly taller than the standard grey backpack, but it still has 7 slots as usual and is otherwise mechanically identical. It's standard issue for Security Officers, Security Assistants, and the Head of Security. Extras can be found in the Security Apparel machine. While Security personnel often spawn with a lot of fancy stuff in their bags (e.g. badges, clone disk), the ones in the Security Apparel vendor do not. They only have a box with a breath mask and pocket oxygen tank, as is standard for all backpacks. All that extra gear is instead tied to the job itself rather than the item.
Engineering Backpack		Yellow and brown, so it pairs well with a lot of Engineering uniforms. The Chief Engineer, the Engineers, and the Miners all spawn with an engineering backpack. The Engineering Apparel machine has two extra, and there's one in each "Miner's locker".
NT Backpack		Nanotrasen Security Operatives get one of these. Though visually different, these are mechanically same as normal backpacks. It's also available as a Spacebux purchase.
Syndicate Backpack		Behaves exactly like every other backpack, but it's in sinister Syndicate crimson and black. The Syndicate Apparel machine in the Listening Post has one, and there's one in every gear preparations closet, which appears on the Syndicate Battlecruiser (if the game mode is nuclear emergency). Everybody on the Syndicate side in the Pod Wars game mode also gets this.
Tactical Assault Rucksack		Your typical backpack, but with a whopping 10 slots. Every Nuclear Operative spawns with one. It's not compatible with the Fish medal reward; that is, it cannot be converted into a satchel version.
Studio Monitor		An exclusive item to the syndicate bard. Without it, your guitar will fail to emit enough noise thus causing your debuff/buff songs to go flat. Additionally, the pack functions similarly to an intercom operating on the channel of 143.8, allowing you to enable speaker mode so your words can be heard across the waves. Additionally, your class crate will contain 2 of these allowing you to give an extra to a teammate to hear your sweet, sweet music no matter where they may go.
Bag-uette		Also known as the breadpack, the bag-uette is a healthy combination of wheat and heat that also functions as a backpack. It may not be functionally different from a regular gray one, but does the grey version have nearly as much whimsy? Rather than a chef or baker, you buy bag-uettes from Geoff Honkington, a slightly shady ex-clown merchant who operates in the Clown's personal quarters/spawn area. He sells them for 600 credits, a good price for a good pun.
Bearpack		A bear, on your back! And a cuddly bear too, unlike those space bears. Geoff Honkington, an NPC merchant spawns in the Clown's personal quarters, sells bearpacks for 600 credits each.
Studded Backpack		See Spacebux
White Studded Backpack		If you like the studded backpack but wish it came in a different color, then this white studded backpack is for you. It's got that same tough style but in a friendly, approachable white, and you don't have to worry about sacrificing function for style, since it works just as well as the standard backpack. You can find it in the DreamPlaza Mall, an 80s-themed "prefab" that can appear in the Mining Level.
Brown Backpack		See Spacebux
Rucksack		See Spacebux
Randoseru		See Spacebux
Travel Backpack		See Spacebux
Satchel		Functionally identical to a backpack, down to some number of slots and special functionality while blocking, and somewhat less common. If you have the Fish medal (which most people get at some point), you can convert any backpack into its respective satchel counterpart by using the Check Job Rewards in the Commands tab and then picking the (Skin) Satchel reward. Green, blue, red, and plain ol' grey satchels are also found in personal lockers and can be fabricated at Uniform Manufacturers.
Captain's Satchel		Mechanically same as your garden-variety satchel, but visually definitely more ostentatious. Obtained by using the Fish medal reward on a Captain's Backpack, as described here. Comes in green, red, and blue versions, depending on the color of the backpack used.
Medic's Satchel		While it obviously is white and red instead of grey, these work exactly like a normal satchel, with no extra benefits or drawbacks (aside from perhaps style differences). Found in the Medical Apparel vendor in Medbay. You can also use the Fish medal reward to transform a medic's backpack into one of these.
Robotics Satchel		For roboticists who prefer to carry cyborg parts, metal, augmentations, and other objects over the shoulder rather than on their backs, because making the perfect mechanical lifeform requires a lot of storage. The Medical Apparel vendor has one robotics satchel , and it's possible to create your own by using the Fish medal reward on a robotics backpack.
Genetics Satchel		According to the latest space fashion space magazines, the hottest item for mutant Yorkies with big green muscles and the ability to throw them at people is a green and white genetics satchel. You can get your own by either vending it from the Medical Apparel machine (if you have Medical access) or using the Fish medal reward on a genetics backpack.
Research Satchel		For researchers who prefer to carry their 10-drugs-in-1 pills, weird alien pitchers, and/or single tank bombs in satchel rather than in backpack. You can find these research satchels in the Research Apparel machine. You can also use the Fish medal reward to transform a research backpack into one of these.
Security Satchel		Not a satchel specifically designed to securely transport items but simply a satchel version of the security backpack for those who prefer that style. You can obtain a security satchel by either using the Fish medal reward on a security backpack or vending it from Security Apparel, which requires Security access. (No job spawns with this.) The ones in Security Apparel do not contain security gear; they only have the standard box box with a breath mask and pocket oxygen tank.
Engineering Satchel		Designed for those who prefer to wear satchels and bear construction materials, satchels of ore, etc. over the shoulder. The Engineering Apparel machine has two engineering satchels; you can also convert a engineering backpack into one of through the Fish medal reward.
NT Satchel		Presently only available by using the Fish medal reward to make an NT backpack into this, as described here. Still functions like a regular satchel (which in turn functions identically to a backpack)
Syndicate Satchel		Use the Fish medal reward on a syndicate backpack, and this is what you get. The Syndicate Apparel vendor comes with one, and it's also used by a few Syndicate jobs that can only be enabled by admins. While it has a coat of crimson paint, it still behaves identically to a regular satchel.
Bag-uette Satchel		What happens when you use the Fish medal's Satchel skin on a bag-uette? It rekneads it into this bag-uette satchel, which functions identically to the boring grey satchel but has far more whimsy.
Bear-Satchel		If you bear with this bear-satchel, it will bear your items and other burdens when you find them unbearable, and it can bear as many items as the bare grey satchel can. You can obtain this by using the Fish medal reward on a bearpack.
Studded Satchel		If you use the Fish medal's Satchel skin reward on a studded backpack, you get a studded satchel, which looks like something the biker guy from Village People would have worn. Still works like any other satchel, except more badass.
White Studded Satchel		The white studded satchel combines the clean modesty of white leather shoes with the "tough customer" studs and metal of the studded backpack and its kin, on top of still functioning like standard satchels. Obtained by using the Fish medal reward skin on a white studded backpack.
Brown Satchel		Just like Indiana Jones! You can obtain this by using the medal reward for the Fish medal on a brown backpack. Note this is called just "satchel" in-game.
Rucksack Satchel		The red and yellow rucksacks but as messenger bags! This is obtained by using medal reward for Fish on a rucksack. As you might expect, using it on a red rucksack gives you the red rucksack satchel, and same for the yellow version.
Randoseru Satchel		A satchel-inspired take on the iconic Space Japanese bookbag. As you might have been able to predict from its name, you can obtain this by using the medal reward for Fish on a randoseru.
Travel Satchel		For the jet-setting traveler (or traveller depending on your destination) who prefers messenger bags. "Travel satchel" doesn't mean it's extra light or anything, but it does have that handsome, Anello-inspired style. Thankfully, you don't have to pay out of the nose in import duties to get this travel satchel. All you have to do is take a travel backpack and use the medal reward for Fish on it.
Itabags		See Spacebux
Turtle Shell Backpack		A stylish green or brown turtle shell to go on your back or waist. No turtles were harmed in the production of this product! In fact, the shell is purely aesthetic; aside from making you look like a member of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it's no different from the standard grey backpack. You can buy them from Geoff Honkington, an NPC merchant in the Clown's spawn area at 600 credits a piece, for such is the price of style.
Eldritch Bag-Of-Holding		See Artifact Research.
Martian Bag-Of-Holding (Back Form)		See Artifact Research.
Wizard Bag-Of-Holding		See Artifact Research.
Quiver		See Ore Processing.
Gas Tank		See General Objects.
Jetpack		See Engineering Objects.
Micro-Lite Jetpack		See Engineering Objects.
Jetpack MKII		See Guide to Mining.
Electropack		See Science Objects.
Grenade Bandolier		Holds up to seven grenades, grenade pouches, breaching/thermite charges, and 40mm shells (e.g. smoke shells, frag shells). In the code, but currently unavailable.
Fuelpack		See Murder.
Medical Shoulder Bag		See Syndicate Items
Transfer Tank Valve		Adding wires to a TTV lets you wear it on your back; the sprite changes depending on what's attached to it. Still works as a bomb.