Head of Personnel's Office
| Head of Personnel's Office | |
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Spawning point for the HoP. Never really used for anything else. | |
This blue room above the Bridge with fancy carpeting is the Head of Personnel's Office. As the equivalent of a Chief Financial Officer and Human Resources Director and the embodiment of the worst aspects of both, the Head of Personnel (aka, the HoP) gets the following pieces of machinery and furniture:
- An Bank Records terminal for stealing every credit on the station.
- A personnel equipment manufacturer for making ID cards and access implants. The HoP likes to get someone to hack it (and not pay them, of course) to make golden ID cards, so they can leave some around for people to mistake for Captain IDs.
- A blue locker with Head of Personnel equipment. Contains a box with a spare uniform, as well as an armor vest and helmet for pretending to be a Security Officer.
- A segway, for upgrading from a pretend-Security Officer to a pretend-Head of Security.
- A wooden table with a stamp, a bar of fool's gold, and first aid kit, so the HoP can heal themselves without waiting on some lowly Medical Doctor.
- Another wooden with a PC and more writing utensils for looking productive. It also has a box of golden star stickers for imaginary, self-congratulatory awards, Leonid Brezhnev style.
- A bed with a green bedsheet, not with dollar signs stitches this time. At least the HoP has some ounce of taste.
Maintenance Information
There is no vent. It wouldn't help, because the Head of Personnel is already pretty icy.
The APC for this room is in the maintenance area left of here.
The power for this room comes from a wire that goes under the door on the left on this room.
| Head of Personnel's Office | |
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Keeping the HoP from hopping around. | |
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Head of Personnel | |
This little lodging sandwiched between the Bridge and Customs is the Head of Personnel's Office. The Head of Personnel spawns here at roundstart, and they have a rather discomforting tendency to mysteriously disappear to who-knows-where after 10 minutes into the round. Central Command is trying to keep them in their office, or at least on-station, by including:
- A nice, award-winning bed with a luxurious dollar-sign bedsheet to sleep under. You can tell it's award-winning because it has ribbon stickers on it. (But they're not actually stuck on...)
- An inexplicably fancy ATM for safety admiring from a distance. Actually, it might not be safe to even look at it!
- A nice bonsai plant to tend to...and ruin.
- A segway with a special siren that provides hours of
annoyance and noise pollutionjoy and entertainment. - A personnel equipment manufacturer for making ID cards and access implants.
- A blue locker with Head of Personnel equipment. Contains a box with a spare uniform, as well as an armor vest and helmet for playing cops and robbers with the Clown.
- A special wooden table with:
- Free money and coins. It's free money, Jim.
- A vintage jug of Spaced Rum. No, not Space Rum. Spaced Rum. Rum that has been thrown into Space and has somehow gained magical properties.
- Fancy pens. Click-click.
Maintenance Information
There is no vent. It'll ruin the fancy carpet in ways you don't want to know about.
The APC for this room is on the left wall.
On Destiny, Customs and the HoP's Office are one and the same. See the Customs page for details on the HoP's office.
| Head of Personnel's Office | |
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Backstage to the magician's show. | |
Every great magician has to start somewhere, and it's in this room, Head of Personnel's Quarters, that the NSS Clarion 's own local magician begins their disappearing act. It is small yet lavishly decorated and features everything a magician needs to do their magic, like a locker of HoP equipment, a exquisite bedsheet, and a fool's gold bar that are sure to confound the minds of mere muggles. The magician's lesser-known sidekick, Blair, begins its day here too.
Maintenance Information
There is no vent. How do they do it? They clearly don't climb through a vent to disappear.
The APC for this room is in the northeast corner, just behind the locker.
| Head of Personnel's Office | |
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Spartan living. | |
This is the personal office and bedroom of the station's Head of Personnel, better known as the HoP. For someone who has their own fancy ATM sitting in their room, it's surprisingly sparse. There isn't any fancy carpeting or colorful bedding, and the only thing here besides the fancy ATM is a bottle of Spaced Rum, a recharger (for what? The HoP just gets a flash for self-defense), a few dollar bills and coins, a standard first-aid kit, a simple desk lamp, and a plain white office chair.
The locker has a bit more. In addition to containing a spare flash and a box of blank ID cards, it also contains a spare HoP headset, a pair of brown shoes, and a box of alternate HoP uniforms, including a fancy parade uniform (complete with dumb hat) and a rather lovely winter jacket in Command navy blue.
Maintenance Information
There is no vent. Perhaps the HoP keeps disappearing because they're wandering around for an office with a vent?
The APC for this room is in the northeast corner, just behind the locker.
| Head of Personnel's Office | |
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Last seen location of the HoP. | |
Have you seen our Head of Personnel? They were last seen in this location, the Head of Personnel's Quarters, apparently staring off into the wide expanse of space. Everything was untouched when the police searched the place to go look for him. The bed was made. There were no prints on the fabricator. The bottle of spaced rum was still corked. The Bank Records and ATM were still at the log-in prompt; evidently, the HoP didn't even take the station budget with them as a normal disappeared HoP would.
Maintenance Information
There is no vent. Clearly, the HoP couldn't have gone through the vent.
The APC for this room is on the north wall. Easier to find than the HoP.
| Head of Personnel's Office | |
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Leprechaun hole? | |
This cosy little cabin below the main Bridge area is the personal office and bedroom of the asylum's resident Head of Personnel. They're sort of like a Staff Assistant but with a legitimate source of all-access and a ugly green sweater and blue pants combo. They also have some really weird obsession with gold coins and the color green, like some sort of leprechaun, which is why this room has a green carpet, a green bed, a Bank Records computer, a fancy ATM, and a big stack of greenbacks and coins.
Maintenance Information
There is no vent. Of course leprechauns don't need air.
The APC for this room is on the north wall, near the door.
| Head of Personnel's Office | |
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Being a HoP. | |
This is the personal office and sleeping space of the station's resident Head of Personnel, sandwiched between Customs and the Bridge. They're like the Captain, but their green comes from all the loads of money they handle rather than cucumber pigments, and they have a little bit of blue to offset and complement it. Thus, this room is a perfect reflection of the HoP; it's got blue, it's got green, it's got money (but only a few choice bits of it), it's got even got one of those inexplicably fancy ATMs.
Oh, and in case you're curious, that HoP equipment locker contains a box of blank ID cards, a flash, a spare pare of brown shoes, a HoP headset, and a box of HoP outfits.
Maintenance Information
There is no vent. Too much air spoils the money smell.
The APC for this room is on the left side, near the Command door into the Bridge.
| Head of Personnel's Office | |
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Lair of the Jodene Sparks expy. | |
This cozy green compartment right of the Bridge is the HoP Office, the residence of the sealab's second-in-command, the Head of Personnel. They're like the Captain, but instead of being obsessed with pulling random antics and wacky hijinks, they're obsessed with, in their own words, "making assloads of money". Hence, all the symbols of money and power: green carpeting and linens, loads of dollar bills and gold coins, an ugly malformed dog, gold star and medallion stickers, and a rack for a diving suit that's exactly like every other suit, but blue. All personally put there by the HoP, of course; it really helps them manage their hemp potholder schemes and the like for some reason.
Maintenance Information
The HoP faked a vent allergy to get disability benefits, so as a result, this room has no vent.
The APC for this room is on the top wall, right by the bed.
| Head of Personnel's Office | |
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Fat cat's litterbox. | |
This is rather opulent lodging below the right side of Bridge is the Head of Personnel's Office, the private office and sleeping quarters for the Head of Personnel, United Command's Chief of International Finance and Job Development. The Job Development part is somewhat shown through the box of access implants, but the International Finance aspect is immediately obvious through the many, many, many displays and symbols of wealth, which include:
- Money green carpeting, admittingly not any more ostentatious than other examples.
- Money green bedding with golden dollar signs.
- An inexplicably fancy ATM.
- A box of golden star stickers.
- An entire display room with golden coins, shiny rings, bars of fool's gold, golden laurels, and bags of money. Curiously, for the last one, when any amount of money is withdrawn from the bag, the rest of the money suddenly materializes while the bag itself mysteriously disappears. Rumors claim it goes into an security box in an offshore bank or an "imports" shop that's actually a front for money laundering.
All this should tell you exactly where the HoP's interests align...and where the United Command budget goes "missing". Combine this with an ID that can easily gain access to the entirety of Atlas, and you can definitely see why someone would want the head of the Head of Personnel. As result, not only does that Head of Personnel locker in the bottom left have an extra uniform but also a helmet, a armor vest, and an extra flash.
Moving on to far less nefarious matters, this office is also home to Orwell, the Welsh Corgi counterpart to George the English Beagle. Almost a century after the 1984 author's death, no one has quite understood the reference. Everyone does, however, know that, despite the size similarity, corgis cannot fit in a washing machine.
Maintenance Information
There is no vent. When the HoP learned that they could not get a solid gold vent, they decided on having no vent at all.
The APC for this room is near the bottom left.
