Difference between revisions of "Jobs"
Convair880 (talk | contribs) (Updated antagonist table.) |
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|title=[[Barber]] | |title=[[Barber]] | ||
|description=Give a bald man an afro with barber magic. Dye it pink. Cut it off and wear it. Repeat. | |description=Give a bald man an afro with barber magic. Dye it pink. Cut it off and wear it. Repeat. | ||
|difficulty= | |difficulty=Frustrating | ||
|access=[[Maintenance]]}} | |access=[[Maintenance]]}} | ||
Revision as of 12:50, 9 October 2015
These are all the jobs you can fuck up choose.
Civilian Jobs
These are jobs that contribute to the crew's overall performance and efficiency, sometimes.
Civilian Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Staff Assistant | Fight everyone, ruin everything. | Easy | Maintenance | |
Chef | Shout indecipherable gibberish at Botany. Deep-fry everything. Make non-Euclidean sandwiches. | Easy | Kitchen | |
Chaplain | Steal corpses for funerals, fart on your bible. Never be around when you are actually needed. | Easy | Chapel | |
Barman | Get drunk, shoot your sweet gun at your bar patrons. Get subsequently looted by a mob. | Easy | Bar | |
Botanist | Completely ignore the chef's requests, start a grow-op. Click |
Easy to Medium | Hydroponics, Maintenance | |
Janitor | Clean already clean floors, whine about beatings. Stuff everything into your trash cart. | Easy to Hard | Janitor's Closet, Medbay, Morgue, Maintenance | |
Clown | Trip on your own shoes, regret your existence immediately. Save the station when nobody expects it. Get beaten for your efforts. | H o n k | Maintenance |
Maintenance Jobs
These jobs are charged with station upkeep and engineering support.
Maintenance Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Mechanic | Ask nicely to scan the captain's energy gun, then run off with it. Suffocate while building a pod. Place Graviton traps all over the hallways. | Medium | Electronics, Maintenance, hack into everything | |
Engineer | Use up all the plasma immediately, die in an explosion. Assault people who take insulated gloves. | Easy to Medium | Engineering, Maintenance, hack into everything | |
Miner | Completely ignore the mineral magnet, fuck off into space. Run out of air. | Easy to Medium | Mining, Mining Outpost, Maintenance | |
Quartermaster | Buy bees and booze. Blow the budget on exotic trinkets. Point and stare at the tourists in the Cargo Bay. | Medium | Cargo Bay, Maintenance |
Research Jobs
These jobs are charged with researching new, exciting technologies and breakthroughs as well as providing medical treatment.
Research Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Medical Doctor | Never heal anyone, whine when people take medkits. Practice brain surgery on yourself. | Medium | Medbay, Pathology, Maintenance | |
Geneticist | Make volunteers Swedish Elvis. Fight a losing battle against lab monkeys. | Hard | Medbay, Pathology, Genetics, Maintenance | |
Roboticist | Steal all the butts. Demand skulls for the skull throne. Give a botanist chainsaw arms. Get murdered by the Cyborgs you built. | Medium | Medbay, Pathology, Robotics, Maintenance | |
Scientist | Ignore the Artifact Lab, synthesize nerve agents without a mask. Steal the AI with Telescience. Heat the burn mix canister, burn to death in a massive fire. | Hard | Artifact Lab, Chemistry, Toxins, Research Sector, Teleporter Lab |
Personnel Jobs
These jobs are the administration of the station. They manage the station and ensure everyone is safe and productive.
Personnel Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Security Officer | Beat the utter shit out of the Clown. Stun yourself repeatedly. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later. | Soul Crushing | Security, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors, Maintenance | |
Detective | Shoot at the Captain. Have your vital gear stolen by someone. Have one too many at the Bar. | Easy to Hard | Detective's Office, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors, Maintenance | |
Chief Engineer | Realize you have no clue how to start the engine, die in a fire. Suffocate in areas you refuse to repair. | Medium | Engineering, Electronics, Cargo Bay, Mining, Mining Outpost, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance | |
Medical Director | Get less respect than a cardboard box. Anesthetize patients with your gun. Donate all your blood. | Medium | Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Pathology, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance | |
Research Director | Sell "medicinal" drugs for cash. Make the Guardbuddies arrest everyone. Delete the network. Explode into spiders. | Medium to Hard | Research, Artifacts, Toxins, Chemistry, Telescience, Teleporter, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance | |
Head of Security | Get rehired, remind everyone why you were fired in the first place. Stomp your hat. | Harder than Hard | Make your own Captain-level ID (plus Head of Security's Office, Armory) | |
Head of Personnel | Hand off your responsibilities to anyone willing. Disappear immediately and forever. | Medium to Hard | Make your own Captain-level ID | |
Captain | Shoot your cat, reprogram the AI and become Double Captain. | Nightmarish | Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory) |
Antagonist Roles
These are the enemies of the station. They commit murder and outrageous acts of violence against the crew.
Antagonist Roles | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Traitor | Buy a glowy sword. Hit yourself with the glowy sword. Be the villain the station deserves. | Medium to Hard | Depends on job | |
Vampire | Stand in the Chapel. Bluhh!! | Easy to Hard | Depends on job | |
Nuclear Operative | Speak over the radio two minutes in. Get shot by your own team. Explode before setting foot on the station. | Hard | Maintenance | |
Wizard | Run around trying to kill everyone, get electrocuted by the AI. Whine, respawn, repeat. | Easy to Hard | Walk through walls | |
Changeling | Try to eat the chef's monkeys. Go loud, get shoved in the gibber while on fire. | Easy to Hard | Depends on job, pry doors open (shambler) | |
Wraith | Spook the crew's guts off. Get shot in the face when you manifest to gloat. Repeat once. | Salty | Irrelevant | |
Blob | Expand, destroy everything, absorb the crew. Attract plasma fires like a magnet. | All-consuming | Irrelevant |
Some antagonists are uncommon and normally only appear under certain circumstances.
Niche Roles | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Werewolf | Appearance: Random event Run around with a top hat. Howl at the ice moon. |
Hard | Pry doors open | |
Predator | Appearance: Random event Hunt the crew for trophies. Get murdered by cyborgs in ten minutes or less. |
Hard | Pry doors open | |
Grinch | Appearance: Christmas season Destroy all the garland. Have your poisoned donuts forcefed to you. |
Mean | Depends on job |
Special Roles
Special roles for players.
Special Roles | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
64px | AI | Get bored. Open doors. Turn the airbridges off. | Psychologically devastating | Everything |
Cyborg | Ignore the AI, play dress-up. Write "fart" in tiles at escape, run out of power. | Hard | Everything | |
Construction Worker | Forget to look at other people's designs before building, get murdered. Respawn. Get murdered by random events. Respawn. Repeat. | Easy | Make your own access! | |
Monkey | Become the chef's assistant. Get put on the spike for sandwich pizza pie. | Nightmarish | Depends on job, walk under tables | |
Cluwne | HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK!!!!! | KILL ME PLEASE IT HURTS TO LIVE HONK HONK!!! | Removed | |
Ghost | Whine in deadchat. Desperately try to make Robotics and Genetics remember your corpse. Show off your haircut. | Spooky | Irrelevant |
Job of the Day
Every day, one of these jobs will be available.
Job of the Day | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Tourist | Run around taking photos of the floor. Space yourself in minutes. | Easy | None | |
Vice Officer | Raid Botany, smoke their weed. Raid the Kitchen, eat their burgers. | Medium | Security, Brig, Hydroponics, Kitchen, Bar, Maintenance | |
Lawyer | Have your suitcase stolen, represent the thief in court. | Easy | Security, Brig, Maintenance | |
Atmospheric Technician | Gas the crew. Wonder why you don't have access to Engineering. | Easy | EVA, Maintenance | |
Barber | Give a bald man an afro with barber magic. Dye it pink. Cut it off and wear it. Repeat. | Frustrating | Maintenance | |
Boxer | Punch the Captain in the face. Turn up naked in the Brig. | Easy | Maintenance | |
Mailman | Go postal. Suffocate while trying to get to your office. | Easy | Maintenance |
Gimmick Jobs
A random selection of these jobs is available to those who join a round after it starts. They don't have very much of a job, leaving them to get into whatever antics they wish.
Note: Job titles in italics are alternative job titles, which are sometimes used in replacement of the standard one.
Gimmick Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
VIP (Senator, President, CEO, Board Member, Mayor, Vice-President, Governor) | Indulge in rampant corporate scandal. Hire random thugs as bodyguards. Abuse your fancy cane. | Medium | Bridge | |
Hollywood Actor | Attempt to channel your inner Rambo in the face of danger. Fail horribly. | Easy | None | |
Regional Director | Pretend that you're important, get your all-access ID looted immediately. | Medium | Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory) | |
Pharmacist | Synthesize "safe" and "effective" medication. Sell them to clueless assistants. | Easy | Research Corridors, Chemistry, Medbay, Morgue, Tech Storage, Maintenance | |
Test Subject | Hide under tables. Insult people who can't understand you. Infuriate the entire station. | Hard | None, walk under tables | |
Union Rep | Demand equal rights for staff assistants. Get arrested for inciting a mob. | Medium | None | |
Diplomat (Ambassador) | Try to establish peaceful relations between humans and skeletons as murderous skeletons roam the station. | Medium | None | |
Musician | Lay down some smooth jams. Have a rap-off with a brobot, lose terribly. | Easy | None | |
Salesman (Merchant) | Start a black market, find no one willing to buy your wares. Get subsequently looted. | Easy | None | |
Journalist | Pursue the next big scoop. Ask the saber-wielding traitor if he has time for some questions. Tip your hat, explode. | Easy | None | |
Inspector | Criticize everyone at every possible opportunity. Get toolboxed by ungrateful crew members. | Medium | Medbay, Research Sector, Bridge, Computer Core, Bar, Kitchen, Hydroponics, Cargo Bay, Security, EVA, Maintenance | |
Coach | Blow your whistle at people. Try playing dodgeball using wrenches. FEEL THE BURN. | Easy | None | |
Sous Chef | Criticize the chef's cooking skills. Get hit over the head with a rolling pin. | Easy | Kitchen | |
Waiter | Relay your customer's orders to the kitchen, receive nothing but silence. Slip on a pool of vomit. | Easy | Kitchen, Bar | |
Apiculturist (Apiarist) | Bees. Bees everywhere. | Easy | Hydroponics, Maintenance |
Admin Intervention
This is stuff that's either still in development, more or less abandoned for the time being, niche, or is entirely too ridiculous to be a regular feature.
Gimmick Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Gang leader | Spawn your closet outside Security. Get beat with a mop for spray painting the AI. | Nightmarish | Depends on job | |
Gangster | Join the gang with the coolest hats. Brutally murder other bustas. | Hard | Depends on job | |
Wrestler | Wrestle everybody and everything. Who needs that belt anyway? | Medium | Depends on job | |
Omnitraitor | Spit acid, cast fireballs, summon bats, hit people with your sword - all at the same time! | Trivial | Pry doors open, walk through walls | |
Zombie | Moan for brains over the radio. Get beaten by a mob. | Apocalyptic | Depends on job | |
Macho Man | MACHO MADNESS, SKYYYY'S THE LIMIT! | GUARANTEED VICTORY | Kick doors open |
Discontinued Jobs
Jobs that are no longer available to players.
Discontinued Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Elite Security | Gave players more power to punish each other. Re-enacted the Stanford Prison Experiment immediately. | Hard | Everything | |
Head Surgeon | Tried to be the Medical Director way, way too early. | Medium to Hard | Bridge, Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Maintenance | |
Chemist | Blew up the station with nothing but potato chips and water. Drove admins to drink. | Easy to Hard | Chemistry, Research Corridors | |
Technical Assistant | Stole everything not nailed down in Engineering. Screwed up the Singularity three minutes in without fail. | Easy | Tech Storage, Maintenance | |
Medical Assistant | Stole everything not nailed down in Medbay. Demanded superpowers. Whined to admins when turned into a monkey. | Easy | Medbay, Maintenance | |
Spy | Tried to fix what was wrong with Rev. Turned the station into Thunderdome anyway. | Hard | Depends on job |
Jobs on Space Station 13 | ||
---|---|---|
Command & Security |
Captain · Head of Security · Head of Personnel · Chief Engineer · Research Director · Medical Director | |
Medical & Research |
Medical Doctor · Medical Trainee · Roboticist · Geneticist | |
Engineering | Engineer · Technical Trainee | |
Civilian |
Staff Assistant · Janitor · Chaplain · Mail Courier · Radio Host · Mime | |
Silicon | Artificial Intelligence · Cyborg | |
Jobs of the Day | Dungeoneer · Barber · Waiter · Lawyer · Tourist · Musician · Boxer | |
Antagonist Roles | With own mode | Arcfiend · Blob · Changeling · Gang Member · Flockmind ( Flocktrace) · Nuclear Operative · Spy Thief · Traitor · Revolutionary · Vampire ( Thrall) · Wizard |
Others | Sleeper Agent · Werewolf · Wraith ( Poltergeist) · Wrestler · Hunter · Grinch · Krampus · Gimmick antagonist roles | |
Special Roles | Ghostdrone · Monkey · Critter · Ghost · Cluwne · Santa Claus |