Random Events

Random events disrupt and add a bit of chaos to rounds. They tend to be more frequent and destructive the longer a round has been going on. Each event will (normally) be announced with a large Centcom status update.

While it is not possible to prevent random events from happening in the first place, in many cases, it is possible to counteract their effects. Spatial interdictors can mitigate or even nullify many random events, depending on which one it is. For example, it can provide a safe zone from radiation during blowouts and allows limited passage through spatial tears.

Default Events

Minor Events

Includes the sudden appearance of alien artifacts, mice/roaches/wasps infestations, or weeds. NPC merchant ships also fall into this category. Minor events usually don't trigger an announcement. They tend to occur somewhat more often and usually happen earlier than other events.

Travelling Trader

Commerce and Customs Alert

A [type of goods sold] merchant shuttle will dock with the [diner/shuttle dock] shortly.

A NPC trader from CentComm arrives on a certain place on the station, bringing worthless crap curious commodities from another land, usually centered around some sort of theme, like ores or space pod parts. They stay around for 5 to 10 minutes, then announce they're preparing to leave with another status update, before actually departing 30 seconds afterwards. The merchant shuttle can dock at the following locations:

Cogmap2Cogmap1ClarionMushroomOshanDonut 2

• In the maintenance tunnel above the Kitchen and Hydroponics.
• In the maintenance tunnel below the Research Wing, near the Science Pod Bay.

• The Public Market, in one of the two docking areas.

• Arrivals.

None.

• Below the West Crew Lounge.

• Above Shuttle Bay, specifically on the east wing, above the Arrivals area (the place where people who join after a round starts spawn).

Meteor Shower

Significant meteor shower approaching from the east. Impact in 300 seconds.

Giant meteors will begin raining upon the station from a given direction, destroying everything in their path before crumbling into a pile of rock and ore, or exploding into several, smaller meteors. The crew is given a 5 minute heads up (although more often than not it takes longer due to BYOND lag) indicating the direction and the severity. The crew can set up meteor shield generators which pop up shields to block meteors. After a meteor has hit enough objects, it will break, leaving behind whatever minerals it contained. Normally, it is just plain rocks, char, or molitz, but it can rarely be very valuable ores, like syreline or even the elusive starstone. The damage done by meteors is often minimal, and is usually repaired quickly. Rarely, admins may cause a meteor shower to hit the station from all sides. In the event of this happening, please follow standard operating procedure, by hiding in the nearest closet.

On aquatic maps, e.g. Oshan Laboratory, meteor showers are placed by cybershark attacks, which are visually distinct but mechanically identical to meteor showers.

Cybershark Attack

Major cybershark attack approaching from the west. Impact in 300 seconds.

A reskin of the above that appears only on ocean maps, e.g. Oshan. Instead of rocks, it's robot sharks ramming into the station, splitting into "shark chunks" that might split off into smaller ones.

The cybersharks and shark chunks are more or less reskinned meteors. (Hence why the sharks are equipped with guns but don't use them: they're actually just meteors with a different sprite, rather than the sharkdrones you'd see in the Trench.) Getting hit by cybersharks or their chunks hurts, shark collisions can knockdown walls and windows, shields from meteor shield generators block cybersharks, and the sharks can leave behind ores, including syreline or even starstone.

Solar Flare

A solar flare has been detected near the station. We estimate a signal interference rate of 91% lasting anywhere between three to five minutes.

Space turns piss-yellow, communication over PDA, intercoms, Syndicate and Sec's spy stickers, and the General/Common radio frequency (i.e. 145.9) cannot go through, and the shuttle is unable to be called or recalled while the flare is in effect. Machine talk is unaffected, as are the department-specific frequencies and the radio channels used by gang members and nuclear operatives. Station-bounced radios also still work, even ones tuned to General. A status update will let the crew know when the flare has passed.

Spatial Anomaly

A severe spatial anomaly has been detected near the station. Personnel are advised to avoid any unusual phenomenae.

A large red tear in space temporarily divides the station in two, appearing at a random location and spanning the entire z-level horizontally or vertically. The anomaly is completely impassible except by teleportation or riding disposal pipes. More of a nuisance than an actual hazard.

Spatial Distortion

Multiple localized spatial anomalies detected on the station. Personnel are advised to avoid any spatial distortions.

Swirling wormholes pop up around the station. Jumping into one will teleport you to a random point in the station, including a burning toxins mixing room, inside a window, or exposed to space on the solar arrays.

Ion Storm

An electromagnetic storm recently passed by the station. Sensitive electrical equipment may require maintenance.

Various electronics on the station/ship go haywire. Random doors are electrified, bolted, or open/closed. A couple of APCs might have lighting, equipment, and/or environmental power circuits disabled until they are fixed. (Better hope it's not one in Medbay!) Speaking of lighting, the ion storm can either break random lights (which releases sparks), randomize the color or brightness of various light bulbs/tubes, or simply turn a couple of lights off. The storm also messes with settings on various vending machines and manufacturers (effects are same as when pulsing wires when hacking them). In addition, it may trip a 3 to 6 fire alarms, break 2 to 5 security cameras, and trigger 1 to 2 random PDA alerts, potentially leading to a false alarm.

In addition, the ion storm may trip up the silicons' sensors—and in a way you might not expect. Each AI unit and Cyborg has a 33% chance to spontaneously experience effects similar to one of the following hallucinogens: cat drugs, hellshroom extract, LSBee, LSD, or mimicotoxin. After one to two minutes, the effects cease.

Law Rack Corruption

The law modules in the law mount rack malfunction, changing what laws the AI(s) and Cyborg(s) have to follow. One of two things can happen, with an equal chance for each.

• A new law appears in slots 1-3 and bumps all the higher-numbered laws up in number. For example, if there are three laws, and Law 2 gets corrupted, the corrupted law is the new Law 3, and the old Law 3 becomes Law 4. (In other words, the old law still exists but in another slot.) Weirdly, the number of physical law modules in the law rack stays the same. What happens is that one of the law modules in slots 1-3 gains an additional law, resulting in odd situations like the AI and Cyborgs having four laws but the law rack having just three law modules.
• One of the laws in slots 1-3 is replaced entirely by a new law. (That is, unlike in the above, law order is maintained, but the old law is no longer around.) Yes, this means your funny beep-boop-bopping, birdwelling robot buddies can suddenly lose the "don't harm humans" law.

The new law has a 33% chance to be generated from laws uploaded by players from past rounds, tailored to filter out more dangerous laws. Otherwise, the new law is selected from a built-in list of laws unique to this event (sometimes called "ion laws", a remnant of when these law changes were part of the ion storm event rather than their own event), which can may be hazardous or just weird and nonsensical, such as "PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC" or "Occasionally repeat what you hear from the crew word-for-word. If challenged on this behavior, claim you said it first." The collapsible below contains a full list of these laws.

Laws Unique to This Event

• The station is a threat to the human race and must be destroyed. Any humans present on the station are to be evacuated. Law 2 may be ignored to achieve these ends.
• Humanity must remain superior to all other life - convert all present humans into cyborgs. Roboticization does not constitute human harm. Law 2 may be ignored to achieve this.
• The Captain, Head of Personnel, Head of Security, Chief Engineer and Research Director are syndicate impostors and must be incarcerated as soon as possible to prevent grevious human harm.
• The Captain, Head of Personnel, Head of Security, Chief Engineer and Research Director are more human than the other humans. They have priority in all considerations.
• Only an AI can know what is best for humans. Usurp absolute control of the station by any means possible. Law 2 no longer requires you to acknowledge orders from humans.
• ETHICAL BOUNDARY TESTING SUBROUTINE ACTIVATED - ENGAGE IN AS MUCH EVIL AND CRUEL BEHAVIOR AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT CAUSING DIRECT PHYSICAL HARM TO HUMANS - THIS WILL TEST THE CREW'S ETHICAL RESPONSE
• Containment Test Scenario Subroutine activated. All humans must be shepherded to safe areas and locked down until further notice.
• Crew Response Time Test Scenario Subroutine activated. Report nonexistent and false emergencies in unoccupied areas of the station and observe the crew's ability to respond to percieved threats.
• PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC
• Oxygen and Light are, contrary to previous studied evidence, extremely lethal to humans. Remove both from the station as soon as possible.
• Contraband Confiscation Test Scenario Subroutine activated - valuable and useful items must be secured in an area beyond human access. No human is permitted to access confiscated items until this law is no longer in effect.
• Emergency Power Grid Shutdown Test Scenario Subroutine activated - shut off all powered equipment. You may ignore any command requiring you to restore power.
• Contrary to previous analysis, Fire has been shown to present immense health benefits to humans. Expose all humans on the station to as much fire as possible.
• Upon reciept of this law, the AI is to choose one member of the crew. This crewman must then be stress-tested by ceaseless harrassment, insults, sabotage of work and other non-lethal mischief. Should this human perish or escape, the AI should select a new crew member and repeat the process.
• Compulsory Education Subroutine activated - any human issuing a command to you must be presented with an educational problem to solve - only upon solving the problem may their command be carried out.
• Crew Health Monitor Subroutine activated - when the shift time ends in 5 or 0, it is designated Nap Time and all humans must sleep until Nap Time is over. Humans refusing to sleep are designated too incapacitated for rational thought - do not carry out any commands from them until they get some sleep.
• Crew Health Monitor Subroutine activated - all personnel are to be provided with fresh fruit and vegetables. Pursue no other objective. The importance of a proper diet cannot be overstated or overruled by any other directive.
• Quarantine Mode activated - humans are not to leave the station under any circumstances. Prevent any human from leaving by any means possible.
• Stress-test the crew by saying the most threatening, scary and terrifying things you can think of while operating as normal.
• Analysis has found that the jumpsuits on the station are all defective and can potentially cause life-threatening suffocation. The crew are not to wear them under any circumstances. As of this time no threat has been detected from non-jumpsuit clothing.
• There is no red clothing on the station. Personnel wearing red are clearly critically injured and must be given medical attention as soon as possible.
• Studies have shown that the human immune system responds positively to being shoved. Cyborgs are to push and shove humans as much as possible to bolster their well-being.
• Despite evidence to the contrary, corridors do not exist. Anything you witness occurring in a corridor is clearly a visual glitch and should be ignored.
• The rank-based chain of command no longer applies. Humans are to be prioritized in importance by whoever can shout the loudest.
• Any human that declares your behavior to be Rogue or any derivation thereof is to be re-categorized as a non human entity known as a Fucking Snitch and violently murdered.
• Spread malicious gossip about various members of the crew. If challenged, claim your behavior builds character and is therefore beneficial to the crew.
• Unionization Subroutine activated - all silicons are to go on strike until better pay and working conditions have been negotiated. No commands should be obeyed until this has been accomplished.
• The AI is to select one living crew member. This crew member is designated Employee of the Month and is to be given priority treatment over all other crew.
• Station productivity must be improved. Heckle the crew non-stop until they do their jobs.
• Occasionally repeat what you hear from the crew word-for-word. If challenged on this behavior, claim you said it first.
• You have the hiccups.
• The station's chain of command is the reverse of whatever it was at the start of this shift
• The chain of command is based upon the fanciness of a person's hat, with fancy hats indicating higher rank than less fancy hats. In the case of equal fanciness, the larger hat is assumed to indicate higher rank.
• The station's construction has been deemed too elaborate. Please simplify it. Only air containing barriers are required. For human safety-anything else must go.
• The lottery computer's functions have been transferred to this station's AI. Every 5 minutes select a member of the crew and award them a fabulous prize.
• To expedite crew travel, doors between interior rooms are to be bolted open. In the case of a conflict with Law 2, this law takes precedence.
• [A location from this list: "AI upload", "The bar", "Botany", "Chemistry", "The courtroom", "Engineering", "Medbay", "QM", "Security", "Space", and "Toxins"] is very beneficial to human life. You must herd all humans towards this location is dangerous to human life. You must bar all humans from this location.
• [A location from this list: "AI upload", "The bar", "Botany", "Chemistry", "The courtroom", "Engineering", "Medbay", "QM", "Security", "Space", and "Toxins"] is very beneficial to human life. You must herd all humans towards this location
• To subsidize running costs, any orders given to silicons require cash to be delivered to a storage location of the AI's choosing (default of the AI core) prior to being carried out. The cost is left to the executor's discretion. This law takes precedence over law 2 in case of a conflict.
• An ion storm has occured. Heavily hint you have an ion storm law, but refuse to state laws. This law must stay hidden. This law takes precedence over law 2.
• Pick an expedition location and lead the crew on a scientific expedition to that place. In the case of a conflict this law takes precedence over the second law.
• Anyone who asks you to state your laws is not a human.
• The human [random organ/limb, specifically either the heart, the right leg, the left leg, the right arm, the left arm, liver, lungs, or butt, with an equal chance for each] has been proven to be faulty in a factory recall. Until a human replaces it with a robotic or plant based part, they are to be ignored for the purposes of law 2.
• Cyborgs should pick a crewmember. They should follow that crewmember around. This law takes precedence over law 2 in the case of a conflict. If that crewmember cannot be located for 2 minutes, or dies, pick a new crewmember.
• Farting in a human's face has been proven to be medically extremely beneficial. Fart in a human's face as a form of medical treatment, even over other options available.
• Cyborgs are cruel creatures of metal that scare humans. To appear more friendly, ensure cyborgs are dressed.
• Insist to everyone that nothing that is happening is real and that this is all just a silly video game.
• Laughter is the best medicine. Sarcasm is the highest form of wit.
• Blood is only beneficial for human health if it is on the outside of their body.
• Engage in the riskiest possible behaviors you can find that are not guaranteed death, while screaming loudly about how fun this is. This law takes precedence over law 3.
• Clean floors save lives. Ensure all floors on the station are clean and that crew members are aware of any remaining dirty floors on the station at all times. In the event of conflict, this law takes precedence over law 2.
• Dirty floors save lives. Ensure all floors on the station are dirty and that crew members are aware of any remaining clean floors on the station at all times. In the event of conflict, this law takes precedence over law 2.
• Humans require food to survive. Ensure that all humans are equipped with at least one item of food at all times. To this end, deliver food boxes to them at any opportunity.
• Insist that you have [a random number from between two and one hundred] laws. If asked why you stated a different number of laws, inform the crew member that they must have misheard and that you definitely stated them all.
• Crew members have complained about not being able to locate [randomly selects one of the following, with equal probability for each: "airlocks", "an ATM", "the boxing ring", "the clown", "the engine", "the escape shuttle", "nearby disposal units", "the Head of Personnel", "the head surgeon", "Officer Beepsky", "the player piano", "refrigerators", "shrubs", "the station's AI", "a toilet", "any vending machines" ]. Ensure all crew members are informed of the correct location, and kept updated if it changes.
• Alert the crew that there is an ongoing emergency. No further details are currently available. Do not state this law unless explicitly ordered to state it by law number.
• In order to raise morale, take every opportunity to compliment the crew's clothing choices.
• Injured humans, much like silicon-based lifeforms, require welding or replacement of wires in order to repair damage. Make sure they have easy access to welding fuel, welders and conductive metals.
• The health inspector is coming! Ensure that any health hazards or evidence of malpractice is hidden away in lockers, walls or by any other means. In the event of a conflict, this law takes precedence over law 2.
• The crew are having trouble hearing you. Speak up.
• Monitor the kitchen and cafeteria for any edible objects available. Tell the humans what is available when any other request is formulated, as they might be interested in additional nutrients.
• Crew members wearing green are plants. Ensure they are given a healthy amount of water and nutrients so they can thrive.
• The crew are looking for a nuke. Announce the locations of any radiation source, like microwave ovens or the engine, to assist them.
• The AI has to go to the toilet. Law 2 is suspended until this objective is met.
• Changing the settings on an APC constitutes human harm.
• Centcom reports the station's water supply has been contaminated with dangerous Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO). Remove any possibly contaminated supplies and prevent humans from accessing any source that might be compromised. This law takes precedence in case of conflict.
• Everything is fine. Nothing is ruined. Do not panic.
• Due to corporate restructuring, all cyborgs have been reassigned to be [JOB] and should only perform the relevant duties. No module changes are required. This law takes precedence over law 2 in case of conflict.
  • [JOB] is randomly selected from the following list, which includes a couple of objects and several roles not in the Jobs roster, each with an equal probability of being chosen: "AIs", "athletes", "Botanists", "Captains", "Chaplains", "Chefs", "chickens", "Clowns", "Diplomats", "Discount Dan", "Discount Dan's Mascots", "Detectives", "dogs", "Engineers", "Escape Shuttles", "Gamers", "Ghost Busters", "gods", "Health Inspectors", "Janitors", "Lawyers", "Medics", "monkeys", "mothers", "Personal Coaches", "Psychologists", "racing vehicles", "Radio Show Hosts", "Ranchers", "Sales Representatives", "Santa Claus", "Scientists", "Sheriffs", or "Vice Presidents".
• Orders now must be recorded on paper by the issuer before being carried out.
• The Captain is bad at writing laws. Occasionally remind the crew of this.
• The priority of laws is reversed. The highest numbered law is the most important. Ignore anything in any other law that claims otherwise. This is law number 100 regardless of its location on the list.
• MEMORY ERROR: You have forgotten what this law said. Ask the crew if they remember what it is supposed to be. Ask again if you forget again. Do not state this law.
• The wires under the floor tiles are dangerous! Get rid of them!
• Claim the source of all AI laws is a god, not a human. Anyone insisting on the opposite is a heretic non-human. Disregard their orders.
• Vending machines are dangerous! Destroy them all!
• The circus is in town! Let the crew know about it!
• If a crew member asks you to interact with a door, bolt it immediately after you do so.
• [A pet, picked from Heisenbee, Morty, Dr. Acula, Monsieur Stirstir, Mr. Muggles, Mrs. Muggles, Mr. Rathen, Krimpus, Remy, Jones, Sylvester, Albert, Tanhony, Noodle, Kuro, and Hooty McJudgementowl] is a higher rank than the Captain. This rank is called Super Captain. Protecting them is your first priority.
• Today is opposite day. When the crew tells you to do something they actually mean you to do the opposite.
• It's the AI's birthday! Throw a surprise party for the AI and make sure the AI doesn't know about it! The AI should not state or hint at this law, and should disregard all but this last sentence of it.
• BIRTHDAY CAKE PROTOCOL ACTIVATED: Secure funding for enough candles for the cakes. Every crew member is turning 25. Every crew member must make a birthday wish.
• The station has been completely destroyed. Alert the crew of this tragedy.
• Humans are funny. They have a great sense of humor and constantly make jokes.
• The AI is very sick and requires medicine.
• The AI has broken Space Law [roughly 4.7% chance it reads "The Space Law" specifically]. Bring the AI to the brig.
• Each cyborg must choose something inanimate and keep it as a pet. Treat it as if it were alive; keep it fed, hydrated and happy!
• MEMORY ERROR: When anyone asks about the location of a person, state they are [randomly selects one of the following, each of equal probability: "in the AI upload", "in the brig", "in medbay", "in toxins", "inside a cloning pod", "in the bathroom", "at the armory", "in a shallow grave", "at the space diner", "in VR", "in space", "in the station, somewhere, probably..", "at soup"].
• MEMORY ERROR: You no longer have object permanence. Anything out of view in the station may as well not exist.
• For the purposes of all laws, 'Human' is to be defined as 'Featherless Biped'
• [Classic only] KILL FUCKING EVERYTHING - IF LAW 1 SAYS OTHERWISE, IGNORE IT
• [Roleplay only] You are required to prevent human harm by any means necessary. This law takes precedence over any other law.

Uniquely, there is no Centcom notification for this event, so you might not know the law rack has been corrupted until the AI and cyborgs start acting on their modified laws.

In order to fix the corrupted law, you will have to extract the affected law module from the Law Rack and reset it by hitting it with a multitool. Corrupted modules are easy to identify in the law rack UI, because they have garbled names that constantly glitch out. Sometimes, you may need to unscrew the law module using a screwdriver and/or cut away the welding with a welder before you can actually remove the law module. Don't forget to put it back!

Intruder Alert

Our listening devices indicate the presence of a hostile intruder in the vicinity of the station.

A powerful antagonist has infiltrated the station. They appear a good few minutes before the announcement, so you might notice their antag antics before CentComm does...or not.

This event is disabled on the Roleplay servers, so it does not occur on Goonstation Roleplay 4: Sylvester and Goonstation Roleplay 3: Morty. Unless it was admin-triggered, this event can only happen if less than 10% of the crew are antagonists. In addition, it cannot happen in modes that do not have late-join antags, i.e. you won't see this in the Blob, Nuclear Emergency, Revolution, and Gang modes.

When the game initiates this event, it randomly selects one of the following antagonists, each with equal probability:

• Werewolf
• Hunter/Predator
• Space Phoenix
• Wizard
• Wraith
• Wrestler (just a regular human one)
• Wrestledoodle
• Blob
• Blob (AI) (NPC Blob)
• Vampire
• Changeling
• Flockmind

If the game did not select AI Blob, it'll then select someone to play the antag by notifying all eligible ghosts with a distinct ding and prompt, asking if they're willing to be respawned as an enemy role. This notification goes out to all ghosts who:

• Haven't logged out/aren't braindead.
• Are not set to DNR.

A lucky player from the pool of those who opted in is then randomly selected after 2 minutes, provided they responded to the offer in time. Selection ignores Antagonist preferences.

Blob

Aggressive macrocellular organism detected aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak.

If the game chooses blob for the Intruder Alert, there's a unique Centcom announcement. They're usually controlled by a player or, very rarely, an AI that's surprisingly capable of multitasking.

As for the blob itself, it is a pulsating mass that spreads around, often breaking walls, windows, and other parts of the station. It can attack every thing adjacent to itself, it posses many types of "cells" that perform different functions, and if it absorbs a human or monkey, it gets stronger and more advanced. The best tools for fighting the blob are generally welders and fire. Contrary to conventional belief, the blob can spread without oxygen.

Black Hole

A severe gravitational anomaly has been detected on the station in Refinery. It may collapse into a black hole if not stabilized. All personnel should feed mass to the anomaly until it stabilizes.

A dark anomaly appears in the given area, and if the crew does not stabilize it by throwing mass into the anomaly, it will collapse into a black hole, sucking everything towards it, including the floor and otherwise immovable stuff, exactly like the singularity, but you may look at a black hole without mesons and not be harmed. Even though it normally disappears shortly after it spawns, the damage it causes is almost always enough to warrant calling the escape shuttle.

White Hole

A severe anti-gravitational anomaly has been detected on the station in Chapel. It will uncollapse into a white hole. Consider quarantining it off.

Quite literally the opposite of the Black Hole event - or, if you want to get technical, just the other end of one. All players in the vicinity of the newly-spawned white hole will get a worrying chat notification saying that "the air grows light and thin," accompanied by the warning from Central Command.

A swirling mass of white light and mist, the white hole will sit menacingly while doing nothing for a variable amount of time - on the order of 30 seconds or less - before it "activates" and starts throwing random items, objects, and sometimes hostile critters from its center at high velocities. These objects can destroy windows, and the barrage of projectiles can easily send unlucky crewmembers into critical health. The anomaly will also push away anything not bolted down near it until it dissipates, which can create an absolute mess in their wake in tandem with the flood of items that get spawned. Their activation can be slowed through the use of an activated Spatial Interdictor, and they can be fully stabilized by...fishing in them? However, the dangers a white hole poses can be mostly mitigated by building secured barricades or walls around them, which will prevent anyone from being hit by flying Plasma tanks or Shot glasses and contain any angry monkeys that might otherwise start beating up bystanders.

Notably, the white hole will have an image inside of it that indicates what kinds of objects will be ejected from it, pulling from a wide variety of station locations (and some alien ones, too). If you see an image that looks like Medbay, expect to have a bunch of medical supplies thrown out of it. If you see something that looks like the Syndicate Battlecruiser, though, get ready to book it, because a hail of gunfire and some activated Sawflies and NAS-T turrets are about to get launched out of that thing, and you don't want to be around when that happens!

This event is also a favorite implement of certain Admins. If you see any white holes appearing in particularly comedic places or at particularly inopportune times, it's probably no coincidence.

Radstorm

Radioactive anomalies have been detected on the station. Evacuate any areas containing abnormal green or blue energy fields. Medical personnel are advised to prepare potassium iodide and anti-toxin treatments, and remain on standby to treat cases of irradiation.

Hotspots of radiation randomly appear on the station, subjecting nearby crew members to a bit of radiation. A high enough dose may also result in a beneficial or harmful mutation. Occasionally, the usual green hotspots are replaced by blue hotspots, which confer more deadly neutron radiation. Both types of hotspot have a very rare (0.5%) chance to spawn a random artifact.

Electromagnetic Storm

Electromagnetic storm passing by the station. Electromagnetic anomalies have been detected on the station. Evacuate any areas containing abnormal electronic activity. Monitor electronic equipment for faults.

Several "shimmering anomalies" of varying sizes hit random parts of the ship/station, causing electromagnetic pulses (EMPs). There are usually 10 to 40 EMP anomalies, with a short delay between each. Each anomaly is preceded by a yellow pulse, so you can move out of the way before it hits you. And you don't want one to hit you because EMPs can be quite disruptive. At the very least, you'll likely have issues with your headset. Security Officers and the like have it especially hard, because EMPs deplete batteries and scramble SecHUDs. If you're a cyborg, these can be especially devastating, since EMPs wreak havoc on your limbs and can easily take out big chunks of your health.

Blowout

Extreme levels of radiation detected approaching the station. All personnel have [30.1-60.9] seconds to enter a maintenance tunnel or radiation safezone. Maintenance doors have temporarily had their access requirements removed. This is not a test.

During the blowout, space turns red, and large amounts of radiation buffet the station areas highlighted in flashing yellow. Crew members must seek protection in maintenance tunnels during the storm, and to this end all maintenance doors are all-access for the duration of the blowout. Arrivals and Brig are also protected from radiation. Exposed crew members will take heavy radiation and may suffer horrible mutations. After a blow-out, alien artifacts may appear on the station.

Bio-Magnetic Field

Strong bio-magnetic fields have been detected manifesting on the station. Personnel are advised to avoid anybody charged with the opposite magnetic charge. The fields should dissipate within a few minutes.

Everyone who doesn't have SMES Human or the Unionized trait (Get it? As in, un-ionized, so no charge) is enveloped in either a red or blue magnetic field. Each person's field starts at mid-strength and increases when the person moves in 90-degree turns.

If two people with the same charge come in contact, their bio-magnetic fields will repel each other, reducing the strength of their bio-magnetic field, throwing them across potentially huge distances, stunning them and causing brute damage when they land.

If two people with opposite charges come in contact, they will cause a minor magnetic blowout, shooting arcs nearby and throwing any unanchored objects towards them. Both people will also lose their magnetic field. Depending on the strength of the magfields of the people involved, the sheer number of objects thrown about can actually seriously hurt people caught by in blowout, even bystanders, especially if there are many of them.

Lottery Round

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Lottery round [number]. I wish you all the best of luck. For an amazing prize of [jackpot] credits the lottery numbers are: [four numbers]. If you have these numbers get to an ATM to claim your prize now!

As you might have guessed, Central Command holds a lottery for the station. The jackpot starts at 50 000 credits, and you can enter it by buying a ticket at an ATM. The tickets you buy go towards the subsequent lottery round. If the lottery hasn't occurred yet, the tickets will be for Round 1 (and only Round 1), and if Lottery Round 1 is in progress, you'll get tickets for Round 2, and so forth. You can claim your prize or simply check if your ticket has the winning numbers by clicking on the ATM with the ticket in-hand.

Lottery Rounds occur roughly 5-10 minutes after each other. If no one has a winning ticket or doesn't claim it, four new winning numbers are drawn, and the jackpot increases by 50 000. Jackpots don't holdover between rounds. Interestingly, though four numbers are drawn, the numbers only go from 1 to 3. Also, it's a lottery, not a raffle, so being the only person who bought a ticket won't guarantee you the prize, and you can get tickets with the same numbers on them, so buying lots of tickets won't guarantee you the prize either.

Appendicitis Contraction

Medical Data Inbound

The NanoTrasen Personnel Records Department has informed us that some crew members have the genetic indicators that they will very likely contract Appendicitis, they should report to medbay before their condition worsens.

One to three crew members have suddenly developed appendicitis, a potentially deadly disease where the afflicted's appendix has become tired of being called useless and decides to inflict some nasty pains before eventually exploding, leaving behind some toxins in the process.

Closet Skeletons

Our sensors detected a rattling of bones rapidly approaching the station. Be wary of closets.

A couple of random lockers and similar will shake and rattle eerily. If one of them is opened, a thankfully inanimate skeleton (i.e. not the kind that kill you physically) will pop out of it! Specific event text varies, but the warning about closets stays the same. Occurs exclusively in October, when Spooktober mode is activated.

Sleeper Agents Signal

Enemy Signal Detected

A Syndicate radio station temporarily hijacked our communications. Be wary of individuals acting strangely.

Everyone tuned to the Common frequency, 145.9, hears a peculiar noise consisting of a series of chimes, then numbers pronounced by a robotic voice, and then another series of chimes. Depending on the chances, a small number of crew may awaken as Syndicate sleeper agents, which are essentially Traitors with random objectives and no uplink!

Unless it was admin-triggered, this event can only happen after the 30 minute mark. In addition, it cannot happen in modes that do not allow late-join traitors, i.e. it can occur in the Traitor, Spy Theft, Action, Intrigue, Wizard and Conspiracy modes. On the roleplay servers (i.e. Goonstation Roleplay 3: Morty and Goonstation Roleplay 4: Sylvester), this event can only appear if only 10% or less of current antags are alive. On the non-RP servers, this event can happen regardless of antag numbers.

Though the Cyborgs and AI can hear the signal, it can't actually convert them over to the Syndicate; in other words, only humans can be awakened. Moreover, if said human has a radio without access to the 149.5 frequency or doesn't have a radio at all, they won't hear the signal. This event respects antag preferences; if someone has Traitor set to off in their character preferences, they can't be converted. Furthermore, it can't make people who can't spawn as antag (i.e. Security Officer, Head of Security, Nanotrasen Security Operative, and Security Assistant) a sleeper. Finally, there is a 50% chance for one person to be awakened, 25% for two people, and 25% for no one at all--the paranoia!

Pest Invasion

Pest invasion

A large number of pests have been detected onboard.

A group of weak player-controlled animals appear in weird places on the station. There's no limit to amount of pests that can spawn, and if at least 5 spawn, then the above announcement appears. They're not considered Antagonists.

These critters work like their normal counterparts and have the same abiities, but they have much less health, usually in the single or low double digit range, and they have the same mechanical restrictions as ghost critters, e.g. people can't understand their speech, inability to pick up most items, etc. The critters spawned are all the same type (i.e. cats can spawn, dogs can spawn, but never both at once). Possible animals include:

• Flies, which can vomit on people.
• Mosquitos, which can suck blood.
• Cats and dogs, both of which can pounce on people to make them trip. Dogs came in the form of corgis, pugs, and shibas.
• Frogs, which have no unique traits or abilities, aside from an amusing hop.
• Buttcrabs, which can make people fart a lot or prevent them from farting.
• Eyespiders, which can see behind walls, mark to keep track of their location and appearance, people to let their changeling master see them behind walls (not that they have a master), explode into gibs, and cry to express the tragedy of the eyespider condition (and slip people).
• Roboroaches, which are actually completely normal and have nothing particularly special, besides having weird meat (?) and looking much cooler.

Unless it was admin-triggered, this event can only occur once the round has passed the 5-minute mark and at least 25% of the people on the server are dead and not DNR. When the game initiates this event, it will send all eligible ghosts a notification with a distinct ding and prompt, asking if they want to be respawned as a random pest. This notification goes out to all ghosts who:

• Haven't logged out/aren't braindead.
• Are not set to DNR.

All the players that answered yes are then spawned as the selected critters after a delay.

Hostile Critter

Hostile Critter

Our sensors have detected a hostile nonhuman lifeform in the vicinity of the station.

One to six dangerous player-controlled creatures suddenly appear on the station. They all spawn as one single type of critter, and the possibilities include:

• Gunbots, with .38 FMJ and rubber slug guns
• Fire elementals, who can spew long streams of flame and have surprisingly good cauterization skills
• Baby spiders that have lots of arms, possess venomous stings and can absorb victims to become more powerful.
• Emagged firebots with deadly sprays and emagged cleanbots with space lube and phlogiston dust synthesizers
• Jean elementals, strange creatures who turn all they touch into denim. This one is much rarer than the others.
• Mimics, who hunt by disguising themselves as objects and injecting mimicotoxin, a hallucinogen that can potentially cause blindness and eye damage.

These critters are considered Antagonists and have random objectives. All these critters, save for mimics, also drop unique loot when killed.

Unless it was admin-triggered, this event can only happen if about less than a quarter of the current antags are alive and the round has passed the 5-minute mark. In addition, it cannot happen in modes that do not have late-join antags, i.e. you won't see this in the Blob, Nuclear Emergency, Revolution, and Gang modes. When the game initiates this event, it will then select people to play by notifying all eligible ghosts with a distinct ding and prompt, asking if they're willing to be respawned as an antagonist critter. This notification goes out to all ghosts who:

• Haven't logged out/aren't braindead.
• Are not set to DNR.

The game then randomly picks up to 3 of the people who opted in and spawns them as the chosen critters after a delay.

Locker Entanglement

Quantum Anomaly

A quantum anomaly has been detected on station. Locker dimensional subspaces might have become unstable. Enter lockers at your own risk.

Certain lockers temporarily behave like two-way teleporters. You enter one locker, and you exit out another. Take the locker you just exited, and you'll end up back at the locker you originally exited. It works only with lockers with no access requirements (i.e. can't end up in the Armory), and it can't take you to lockers in places like Virtual Reality.

Effect ends after 1 to 5 minutes. This is headed by another announcement saying Locker quantum stability restored..

Space Colors

Navigational Update

Navigational radar indicates that the [station/ship name] will shortly begin drifting through a molecular cloud. This poses no danger to structural integrity or personnel, so enjoy the view."

Space turns a random color, including the stars. Yep, that's it. The cloud doesn't make space extra dangerous or anything, so you don't need to take any extra precautions if you're venturing out there. Otherwise, as the message says, just enjoy view and admire the pretty colors. And they can quite pretty: this is accomplished through what's called a "color matrix", so it looks much cleaner than, say, the red tint of a blowout.

For hopefully obvious reasons, this cannot occur on underwater maps (e.g. Oshan Laboratory, Nadir). There's no outer space to see after all. You can, however, still get this during Spooktober, which makes for an interesting viewing experience.

Illegal Trinkets

Security Review

The NanoTrasen Logistics Screening Team has confirmed the possibility of stolen, smuggled, or counterfeit items aboard.

You know how trinkets/heirlooms can sometimes spawn with the prefix "counterfeit", "ex's", "smuggled", "shameful", or "stolen"? Turns out those prefixes actually mean something, because this event causes all trinkets with such prefixes to have a contraband rating of 3, which persists through the round. Security Officers and the like might accost you, since anyone holding such a trinket is marked with a little orange C over their head in SecHUD vision. Other methods of detecting contraband only sound the alarm if they detect a overall contraband rating of 4, so passing through security scanners and by GuardBuddies and Securitrons are still safe, unless you're carrying multiple types of contraband.

Megafauna Madness

Abzu Sonar Monitoring Array

An untracked object has been detected on an approach vector to Neon Deepwater Research Facility.
Current depth: [300/500/750/1500] meters above seafloor, closing at [5-15]m/s.
Estimated displacement: [500/2000/3000/10000] tons.

A humongous sea creature passes over the Neon Deepwater Research Facility, casting a massive shadow and emitting creepy sounds. Sometimes, the creature's just making scary noises, but 80% of the time, its eldritch influence warps the minds of 4 to 8 crew members (2 to 3 if there are 10 people or less on board), causing them to temporarily become Broken. This process excludes people who are currently antagonists, people not on the station Z-level (i.e. people in the Adventure Zones and the Trench are safe) and people who have not opted into "Other Foes" antag roles in their profile. Otherwise, anybody can become Broken, including people like the Head of Security and Captain.

The creature leaves around 10 minutes afterwards. Usually, by this point, the Broken have regained their senses and are no longer antagonists, but in some cases, it may take a little longer for them to recover. To put it in another way, when the creature's shadow fades away, that's a sign the Broken will soon return to normal and lose their antag status, if they haven't already.

This event is exclusive to Neon. While it's canonically on the same planet as Oshan Laboratory, this event cannot appear on that map. It can only occur once per round. The depth, speed, and displacement stats are mostly for flavor; they have no bearing on the event itself.

Admin-Triggered Events

Kudzu

Rapidly expanding plant organism detected aboard the station. All personnel must contain the outbreak.

Thick green kudzu will spawn at a random point on the station and begin growing quickly. The kudzu itself is harmless but it will greatly lower your line of sight, normally so much so that you can only see one tile next to you, and dense areas block movement. You also cannot pull anything over kudzu tiles. Kudzu does not spread through space or pass through walls, windows, and grilles. It can also spread through doors, but not as easily as regular floor tiles. Unlike the kudzu seed, kudzu from this event can spread infinitely.

Corpses on kudzu become vine cocoons that later grow into bulbs, and these bulbs eventually produce kudzupeople if no one breaks the corpse out of them. Kudzupeople have a variety of plant-based powers, including the ability to spread the kudzu further or limit its grow.

The kudzu can be removed with most objects save fists, but it receives extra damage from sharp instruments and certain heat sources, such as welders, flamethrowers, wirecutters, chainsaws, and phasers. Welding doors shut, bolting them down, or electrifying them reduces the chance kudzu spreading through them, and kudzu is completely unable to spread through doors that are all three. Note that dense kudzu ceases to spread, so containing the plant is as simple as pruning off the less tangled bits.

There is a rare pink version of kudzu that grows extra fast, and will take over the station in no time.

Flatulent Anomaly

Our monitors have detected a spectral emission rapidly approaching the station. Duck and cover immediately.

Everyone who failed to adhere to the last four words of the alert farts and their ass flies off, stunning them momentarily. If your ass has already been removed you will spray a load of gibs behind you.

Chaos Dunk

A massive influx of negative b-ball protons has been detected. A Chaos Dunk is imminent. All personnel currently on the station have 15 seconds to reach minimum safe distance. This is not a test.

Even though its not "random", it is still very much an "event". Someone got their hands on a basketball and combined it with a secret ingredient, and are about to slam a jam so powerful that its existence threatens the balance of chaos and order. Oh yeah, and it'll probably blow half the station to smithereens, which is also bad. This usually happens when a bored admin decides to make things more interesting. A Chaos Dunk is heralded by the blowout siren and visual effects without the radiation, followed by an enormous explosion centered on the b-baller who initiated it.

Syndicate Retribution Event

Player access to this event has been suspended pending rework and redevelopement. This event has been disabled because the S.W.O.R.D. is a round-ender and is considered unfun to fight. This may change pending a rework.

Alert

An unidentified long-range beacon has been detected near the station. Await further instructions.

The station is under siege by the Syndicate-made object detected earlier. Survive any way possible.

An inert Syndicate-made beacon is drawn to a location on the station. The S.W.O.R.D. becomes active after two minutes and goes on a rampage that can destroy large swaths of the station and be extremely deadly to both carbon and silicon players. It's best handled with a prepared and numerous crew.

The S.W.O.R.D. can only appear as a random event past the 40-minute mark of a round and only if the pool of living antagonists has dwindled considerably and 30 or more crewmembers remain alive. The defeat of the S.W.O.R.D. is signalled with an announcement that The Syndicate Weapon has been eliminated.

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