Captain

Captain's Quarters. Note the fine state the captain has kept his Bonsai Tree in.

The big boss! Gets a swanky green and gold suit, and golden ID card, a kickass hat, and a gun. Technically has the responsibility of running the station and making sure things work correctly, but is typically either an incompetent boob, a power-crazed psycho or just doesn't care and will use his power to conduct experiments, run gimmicks, and get hammered. In all of the above cases he will frequently get shot in the face by traitors or syndicates or eaten by changelings because they want to jack his cool shit. Funnily enough, while Security Officers can't be traitors, the Captain himself can.

Captain's Stuff

The captain begins with the Nuclear Authentication Disk in their pocket, and they are responsible for keeping this out of the hands of filthy red-suited Nuclear Operatives.

In the captain's storage is a Spare ID, a pinpointer (points to the disc), a green spacesuit, and a hand teleporter. The hand teleporter can open portals to random locations (great way to space yourself) or to guided locations if the Teleporter computer has been set. In your locker is an energy gun and a spare outfit.

Captain's Rights & Duties

The captain has free run of the station, so they should feel free to use it to the fullest. Individual jobs are delegated to lesser people while you command from on high, after all. Just remember that you're in charge, you're giving the orders, and it's your responsibility to control Security and make sure the station isn't exploding. Or, if it is, which is more likely, then work with your resources and show leadership to try and stop things. If the situation is truly critical and the AI is not available or not listening to you, then you'll need to call the shuttle manually. Do do that, get to a Communication Terminal, either on the Bridge or in your quarters, and insert your ID into the slot below the screen when the window pops up. Then type the following: "Login, then COMMaster, then Link, then Call.

As captain you want want to:

• Keep an eye on the Head of Personnel and make sure they're not tossing out all-access IDs
• Resolve disputes between players, usually even the dumbest slapfight can be defused ingame.
• Beat up troublemakers! Make sure they don't beat you up and steal your neat stuff.
• Make sure Security isn't being shit this round. Make sure prisoners aren't being abused and they have proper brig times. Make sure nobody's busting into Riot Storage.
• Use your PDA to set the status display to fun things and spew out tickets! It can even send messages to people if main comms aren't an option.
• Make sure the AI's laws are normal or at least won't bite the crew in the ass! Reset them if they're bad.
• Make assistants fight to the death!
• Recruit assistants for a social experiment!
• Have the assistants sign a waiver!

What do you do if someone is trying to grief you? Either they keep robusting you, taking really important shit like the Nuke Disk, ruining everything, etc. If somebody's griefing you as the Captain you have to decide whether to have Security and yourself handle it (in situations with low-grade shitlording going on) or, if things get too bad or Security is not an option, adminhelp it. No, seriously. Griefing is not acceptable on the Goonstation servers and as the Captain you need to be able to do your job free of some asshole. If that asshole is a traitor of some flavor they're unlikely to be punished, but you might as well try in case they're just a random person.

Crew Objectives

As a loyal crew member, you can sometimes be assigned some strictly optional objectives to keep yourself busy while you wait for something to happen. As captain, you can expect to see the following:

Don't lose your hat!
Just what the man says. Don't let some hooligan steal your awesome Captain's hat.

End the round with alcohol in your blood stream.
Take the wine out on the bridge and drink it as the round's winding down. Or just get drunk all round.

Syndicate Captain

You have access to pretty much everywhere and everything, and yet the Captain barging into random departments to mass produce laser guns or brew up cyanide does tend to attract unwanted attention. If you feel like going on a rampage, subvert the AI on your side and just start lasering anything that moves. You can boss around Security Officers to do your bidding, though if they're mildly competent or there is a Head of Security around they may quickly mutiny and try to put you down. The Head of Personnel can also pull together a revolt against you if you're being less than subtle about your treason, so consider a pre-emptive strike against anyone who would dare stand up to you. With no organized resistance, few crewmembers will be bold enough to try a head-on attack against you.

Alternatively you can ditch your objectives entirely and run whatever hilarious gimmick you've always wanted to, just now with the ability to silence nay-sayers and party poopers with hot laser fire.

Supplementary Video

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