Chef

As the Chef your job is to feed the station with delicious food and ice cream. You are the only man who can keep the crew's morale up with your wonderful cuisine. The only problem is, of course, to make people eat your food. You see, years and years of bad cookery have destroyed the chef's reputation. Sometimes, a brave person will eat your food, and hopefully will be pleasantly surprised. You may be asking how you actually make all these culinary masterpieces. This is a true art, which can only be perfected by training, and occasionally dying horribly.

To Serve Man

In SS13, there is a good variety of foodstuffs that you can make, such as cakes, pizzas, ice creams, and many others. Usually, edibles will heal people for a small amount. This is all some food, like bread slices, are good for.

Some food, however, may actually be graded in how tasty it is. Besides a small message showing up along the lines of "this tasted amazing" or "this is rather dry", a larger amount of health can be regained by eating high-quality food. Many players are willing to play along, so having an amazing tasting cake could, for example, prompt the captain to throw money at you, while an awful one can end up being thrown on your face. Ingredients aren't really important to how a food taste, usually, as long as you are following the recipe. What is really important is the procedure (which usually means cooking time). So, it is worth it to experiment with the recipes. If something tastes bland, try cooking a little more, or a little less. Not all recipes are subject to this aspect (bread slices, for example, always taste the same), but many are.

A few of the recipes, like the pizza or the cake, will allow you to insert some ingredient or other of your choice. Once you have cake batter, for example, you can mix it with almost any foodstuff, as long as it will fit the mixer. Furthermore, you can also put any liquid in the icing tube to use as icing. So, you can have cakes varying from the normal, like chocolate cake with coffee icing, to unusual, like meat cake with cheese icing, to the nonsense, like steam ice cream cake with ice icing. Besides the decorative aspect, the ingredients you use will remain active, and affect whoever eats it. Be aware that anyone can check what these dishes are made off by just examining them, but it still is a bad idea to serve really poisonous stuff at the bar if you are not an antagonist. Besides this, experiment and see what you can stuff into different foods.

Simple Recipes

• Burger: Get flour, use it on the sink, put it in the oven. Add one slab of meat (any type), cook on high for 6 seconds and a burger appears!
• Cake: Take flour, use it on the sink to make dough. Add sugar to the dough to make sweet dough. Add the sweet dough to the KitchenHelper along with two eggs, mix. Now mix the batter again with the additional ingredient of your choice (chocolate bar, fish filet, John Doe's butt or whatever) and bake the whole thing in the oven on high for 6 seconds. Finally, add icing and use a knife to cut the cake into handy slices.
• Pancakes: Grab a bag of flour, use it on the sink and then add some sugar. Combine the sweet dough with two eggs and a bottle of milk in the mixer. Cook the pancake batter in the oven on high for 6 seconds. Don't forget to add maple syrup as the last step!
• Fried everything: Take any item, put it in the deep fryer. Take the item out early for a lightly-fried item, wait for the timer to ding for a normally-fried item, and wait an extra long time for a burned culinary abomination. You can pour any liquid into the deep fryer to imbue the fried food with that liquid.
• Ice cream: Get cone, go to ice cream machine. Tired of the same boring stuff? Additional flavours like vodka, weed (ask your local botanist) or urine can be created with the help of a filled glass or other container.
  

Many more recipes are available on the Foods page, from the outdated in-game cookbook, and known in secret to top tier SS13 chefs. If you fuck up a recipe, you'll typically end up with a ????? or smoldering mess, either of which gives whoever's dumb enough to eat it food poisoning.

I hefe-a eccent huly sheet, Bork Bork Bork!

Sometimes, the Chef will spawn with a bad case of Swedishness. This mostly incurable condition results in not only an undying love of Volvos and ABBA, but an annoying accent that makes everything you say very difficult to understand. In that case, don't use radio too much, your accent will have you toolboxed. Also, newbie AIs may not realize you are trying to communicate with them when you frantically scream "EEE TOORN OOFF ZEE CROOSHER."

Syndicate Shenanigans

The chef is rather suited to a traitor role. Few people will query a chef dragging a corpse, and even fewer will actually care about the corpses/human meat in your kitchen. The gibber provides an excellent (and tasty!) way to dispose of your foes permanently.

The chef gets an intimidating knife, which has a good knock-out rate and causes a target hit by it to bleed everywhere and take more damage over time. As a bonus, any dead person you hit with the knife will be gibbed and turned into meat! If rampages aren't your style, spice up the burgers of unsuspecting patrons with special sauce and inject your food with horrible chemicals. Even the basic combination of vending machines and drink dispensers should yield enough nasty reagents to work with, but a basic knowledge of chemistry and access to hydroponics is definitely desirable.

Supplementary Videos

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