Jobs
Revision as of 07:21, 20 November 2014 by Blakejohnson (talk | contribs) (I am a nerd who ruins the jokes)
These are all the jobs you can fuck up choose.
Civilian Jobs
These are jobs that contribute to the crew's overall performance and efficiency, sometimes.
Civilian Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access
|
Staff Assistant | Fight everyone, ruin everything. | Easy | Maintenance | |
Chef | Shout indecipherable gibberish at Botany. Deep-fry all your ingredients. | Easy | Kitchen | |
Chaplain | Steal corpses for funerals, fart on your bible. Never be around when you are actually needed. | Easy | Chapel | |
Barman | Get drunk, shoot your sweet gun at your bar patrons. Get subsequently looted by a mob. | Easy | Bar | |
Botanist | Completely ignore the chef's requests, mail every department weed. Click your best plant with a chainsaw. | Easy to Medium | Hydroponics Maintenance | |
Janitor | Clean already clean floors, whine about beatings. Stuff everything into your trash cart. | Easy to Hard | Janitor's Closet, Medbay, Morgue, Maintenance | |
Clown | Trip on your own shoes, regret your existence immediately. Save the station when nobody expects it. Get beaten for your efforts. | H o n k | Maintenance |
Maintenance Jobs
These jobs are charged with station upkeep and engineering support.
Maintenance Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Mechanic | Ask nicely to scan a pair of Thermals, then run off with them. Suffocate while building a pod. | Medium | Electronics, Maintenance, Hack into everything | |
Engineer | Use up all the plasma immediately, die in an explosion. Assault people who take insulated gloves. | Easy to Medium | Engineering, Maintenance | |
Miner | Completely ignore the mineral magnet, fuck off into space. Run out of air. | Easy to Medium | Mining, Mining Outpost, Maintenance | |
Quartermaster | Buy bees and booze, except when people ask you to. Order "harmless minerals", repeatedly explode violently. | Medium | Cargo Bay, Maintenance |
Research Jobs
These jobs are charged with researching new, exciting technologies and breakthroughs as well as providing medical treatment.
Research Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Medical Doctor | Never heal anyone, whine when people take Medkits. Break into Chemistry. | Medium | Medbay, Pathology, Maintenance | |
Geneticist | Make volunteers Swedish Elvis. Refuse to clone anyone, wonder why all the chairs are spinning. | Hard | Genetics, Maintenance, Medbay | |
Roboticist | Steal all the butts. Demand skulls for the skull throne. Give a botanist chainsaw arms. | Medium | Robotics, Medbay, Maintenance | |
Scientist | Ignore the Artifact Lab, synthesize nerve agents without a mask. Steal the AI with Telescience. Heat the burn mix canister, burn to death in a massive fire. | Hard | Artifact Lab, Chemistry, Toxins, Research Sector, Teleporter Lab |
Personnel Jobs
These jobs are the administration of the station. They manage the station and ensure everyone is safe and productive.
Personnel Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Security Officer | Beat the utter shit out of the Clown. Stun yourself repeatedly. | Soul Crushing | Maintenance, Security, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors | |
Detective | Have your vital gear stolen by the Captain. Shoot at the Captain. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later. | Easy to Hard | Maintenance, Detective's Office, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors | |
Chief Engineer | Realize you have no clue how to start the engine, die in a fire. Suffocate in areas you refuse to repair. | Medium | Engineering, Electronics, Cargo Bay, Bridge, Mining, Mining Outpost, EVA, Maintenance | |
Medical Director | Get less respect than a cardboard box. Anesthetize patients with your gun. | Medium | Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Pathology, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance | |
Research Director | Sell "medicinal" drugs for cash. Make the Guardbuddies arrest everyone. Explode into spiders. | Medium to Hard | Research, Artifacts, Toxins, Chemistry, Telescience, Teleporter, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance | |
Head of Security | Get rehired, remind everyone why you were fired in the first place. Stomp your hat. | Harder than Hard | Everything + Head of Security's Office, Armory | |
Head of Personnel | Leave your ID in the computer. Disappear immediately and forever. | Medium to Hard | Everything, because lets face it, every HoP is going to give themselves Captain-level access | |
Captain | Shoot your cat, reprogram the AI and become Double Captain. Throw the authentication disk at the Syndicates. | Nightmarish | Everything - Head of Security's Office, Armory |
Antagonist Roles
These are the enemies of the station. They commit murder and outrageous acts of violence against the crew.
Antagonist Roles | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Traitor | Buy a glowy sword. Hit yourself with the glowy sword. Be the villain the station deserves. | Medium to Hard | Depends on job | |
Vampire | Stand in the Chapel. Bluhh!! | Easy to Hard | Depends on job | |
Werewolf | Run around with a top hat. Howl at the ice moon. | Hard | Pry doors open | |
Wraith | Spook the crew's guts off. Get shot in the face when you manifest to gloat. Repeat twice. | Undetermined | Irrelevant | |
Predator | Hunt the crew for trophies. Die within 10 minutes. | Hard | Pry doors open | |
Nuclear Operative | Speak over the radio two minutes in. Get shot by your own team. | Hard | Maintenance | |
Wizard | Run around trying to kill everyone, get electrocuted by the AI. Whine, respawn, repeat. | Easy to Hard | Walk through walls | |
Changeling | "Helpfully" dispose of "spare" Genetics corpses. Go loud, get shoved in the reclaimer while on fire. | Easy to Hard | Depends on job | |
Spy | Lose your PDA, implant braindead people. Remind everyone why they got rid of Rev. | Hard | Depends on job | |
Gang leader | Spawn your closet outside Security. Get beat with a mop for spraypainting the AI. | Nightmarish | Depends on job | |
Gangster | Join the gang with the coolest hats. Brutally murder other bustas. | Hard | Depends on job |
Special Roles
Special roles for players.
Special Roles | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
64px | AI | Get bored. Open doors. Turn the airbridges off. | Psychologically devastating | Everything |
Cyborg | Ignore the AI, play dress-up. Write "fart" in tiles at escape, run out of power. | Hard | Everything | |
Monkey | Become the chef's assistant. Get put on the spike for sandwich pizza pie. | Nightmarish | Depends, walk under tables | |
Cluwne | HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK!!!!! | KILL ME PLEASE IT HURTS TO LIVE HONK HONK!!! | Removed | |
Ghost | Whine in deadchat. Desperately try to make Robotics and Genetics remember your corpse. | Spooky | Irrelevant | |
Zombie | Moan for brains over the radio. Get beaten by a mob. | Apocalyptic | Depends on job | |
Macho Man | MACHO MADNESS, SKYYYY'S THE LIMIT! ALL BY MYSELF! | GUARANTEED VICTORY | Kick doors open | |
Construction Worker | Forget to look at other people's designs before building, get murdered. Respawn. Get murdered by random events. Respawn. Repeat. | WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING!? | Make your own access! |
Job of the Day
Every day, one of these jobs will be available.
Job of the Day | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Tourist | Run around taking photos of the floor. Space yourself in minutes. | Easy | None | |
Vice Officer | Raid Botany, smoke their weed. Raid the Kitchen, eat their burgers. | Medium | Maintenance, Security, Brig, Hydroponics, Kitchen, Bar | |
Lawyer | Have your suitcase stolen, represent the thief in court. | Easy | Maintenance, Security, Brig | |
Atmospheric Technician | Gas the crew. Wonder why you don't have access to Engineering. | Easy | EVA, Maintenance | |
Barber | Give a bald man an afro with barber magic. Dye it pink. | Easy | Maintenance | |
Boxer | Punch the Captain in the face. Turn up naked in the Brig. | Easy | Maintenance | |
Mailman | Go postal. Suffocate while trying to get to your office. | Easy | Maintenance | |
64px | Gimmick Job | In addition, a variety of gimmick jobs are available at random. They include such important positions as CEO, Test Subject, Hollywood Actor, Engineers Union Rep and others. | Depends, mostly easy | Depends on job |
Discontinued Jobs
Jobs that are no longer available to players.
Discontinued Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Elite Security | Export police brutality to space, shoot the people you are meant to save. | Hard | Everything | |
Head Surgeon | Turn into a cardboard box. Inject people with poison. | Medium to Hard | Bridge, Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Maintenance | |
Chemist | Break into sensitive areas with thermite. Incur the wrath of the station. | Easy to Hard | Chemistry, Research Corridors | |
Technical Assistant | Raid Engineering for insulated gloves. Get in the way of the actual engineers. | Easy | Tech Storage, Maintenance | |
Medical Assistant | Assist Medbay by stealing the medical supplies. Loot the corpses in Genetics. | Easy | Medbay, Maintenance |