Difference between revisions of "Jobs"

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m (just trimming it down, some things seemed very long winded)
(Its me, I'm the jackass that changes the jokes)
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Chaplain]]
|title=[[Chaplain]]
|description=Fart on your bible, steal corpses for funerals. Never be around when you are [[Wizard|actually]] [[Vampire|needed]].  
|description=Steal corpses for funerals, then fart on your bible. Never be around when you are [[Wizard|actually]] [[Vampire|needed]].  
|difficulty=Easy
|difficulty=Easy
|access=[[Chapel]]}}
|access=[[Chapel]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Barman]]
|title=[[Barman]]
|description=Get drunk, shoot your [[Security Objects#Riot Shotgun|new gun]] at your bar patrons. Get subsequently looted by a mob.
|description=Get drunk, shoot your [[Security Objects#Riot Shotgun|sweet gun]] at your bar patrons. Get subsequently looted by a mob.
|difficulty=Easy
|difficulty=Easy
|access=[[Bar]]}}
|access=[[Bar]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Botanist]]
|title=[[Botanist]]
|description=Chainsaw those who enter your fortress, smoke weed erreyday. Ignore everybody, but especially the [[Chef]].  
|description=Completely ignore the [[Chef|Chef's]] requests, grow shitloads of weed. Click your best plant with a chainsaw.
|difficulty=Easy to Medium
|difficulty=Easy to Medium
|access=[[Hydroponics|Hydroponics]] [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Hydroponics|Hydroponics]] [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Medical Doctor]]
|title=[[Medical Doctor]]
|description=Never heal anyone, whine when people take Medkits. Break into [[Chemistry]].
|description=Never heal anyone, whine when people break in to take Medkits. Break into [[Chemistry]].
|difficulty=Medium
|difficulty=Medium
|access=[[Medbay]], [[Pathology]], [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Medbay]], [[Pathology]], [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Geneticist]]
|title=[[Geneticist]]
|description=Ask for volunteers, mutate them into epileptic Elvis. Never clone anyone, get bombed.
|description=Make everybody Swedish Elvis. Forget about the cloner while playing Mastermind, wonder why all the chairs are [[Ghost|spinning.]]
|difficulty=Hard
|difficulty=Hard
|access=[[Genetics]], [[Maintenance]], [[Medbay]]}}
|access=[[Genetics]], [[Maintenance]], [[Medbay]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Roboticist]]
|title=[[Roboticist]]
|description=Steal all the butts. Cry because nobody wants to be a [[cyborg]]. Give a [[botanist]] chainsaw arms.
|description=Steal the crew's butts. Demand skulls for the skull throne. Give a [[botanist]] chainsaw arms.
|difficulty=Medium
|difficulty=Medium
|access=[[Robotics]], [[Medbay]], [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Robotics]], [[Medbay]], [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Scientist]]
|title=[[Scientist]]
|description=Ignore the Artifact Lab, "accidentally" throw [[Chemistry#Poisons and Toxic Shit|nerve agents]] on people. Start a Telescience expedition, drain all the power.
|description=Ignore the Artifact Lab, "accidentally" throw [[Chemistry#Poisons and Toxic Shit|nerve agents]] on people. Try to teleport yourself into the deep fryer.
|difficulty=Hard
|difficulty=Hard
|access=[[Artifact Lab]], [[Chemistry]], [[Toxins]], [[Research Sector]], [[Teleporter Lab]]}}
|access=[[Artifact Lab]], [[Chemistry]], [[Toxins]], [[Research Sector]], [[Teleporter Lab]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Medical Director]]
|title=[[Medical Director]]
|description=Get less respect than a [[Head Surgeon|cardboard box]]. Shoot patients with your nice [[Security Objects#Tranquilizer Rifle|gun]].
|description=Get less respect than a [[Head Surgeon|cardboard box]]. Anesthetize patients with your [[Security Objects#Tranquilizer Rifle|gun]].
|difficulty=Medium
|difficulty=Medium
|access=[[Medbay]], [[Genetics]], [[Robotics]], [[Pathology]], [[Bridge]], [[EVA]], [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Medbay]], [[Genetics]], [[Robotics]], [[Pathology]], [[Bridge]], [[EVA]], [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Research Director]]
|title=[[Research Director]]
|description=Sell "medicinal" [[Chemistry#Drugs|drugs]] for cash. Make the [[Robots#GuardBuddy|Guardbuddies]] arrest everyone.
|description=Sell "medicinal" [[Chemistry#Drugs|drugs]] for cash. Make the [[Robots#GuardBuddy|Guardbuddies]] arrest everyone. Explode somehow.
|difficulty=Medium to Hard
|difficulty=Medium to Hard
|access=[[Research Sector|Research]], [[Artifact Lab|Artifacts]], [[Toxins]], [[Chemistry]], [[Teleporter Lab|Telescience]], [[Teleporter Room|Teleporter]], [[Bridge]], [[EVA]], [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Research Sector|Research]], [[Artifact Lab|Artifacts]], [[Toxins]], [[Chemistry]], [[Teleporter Lab|Telescience]], [[Teleporter Room|Teleporter]], [[Bridge]], [[EVA]], [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Captain]]
|title=[[Captain]]
|description=Shoot your cat, reprogram the [[AI]] into a dog. Throw the [[Nuclear Authentication disk|authentication disk]] at the [[Nuclear Operative|Syndicates]].  
|description=Shoot your cat, get lynched. [[AI_Laws|Reprogram]] the AI and become Double Captain. Throw the [[Nuclear Authentication disk|authentication disk]] at the [[Nuclear Operative|Syndicates]].  
|difficulty=Nightmarish
|difficulty=Nightmarish
|access=Everything - [[Security_(place)#Head of Security's Office|Head of Security's Office]], [[Security_(place)#Armory|Armory]]}}
|access=Everything - [[Security_(place)#Head of Security's Office|Head of Security's Office]], [[Security_(place)#Armory|Armory]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Changeling]]
|title=[[Changeling]]
|description=Dispense free drugs, beg not to be murdered. Go on a rampage in fancy dress.
|description=Ask genetics for DNA, get stuffed in the reclaimer. [[Changeling#Shambling_Abomination|Go loud]] and magically attract every source of burn damage on the station.
|difficulty=Hard
|difficulty=Hard
|access=Depends on job}}
|access=Depends on job}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Ghost]]
|title=[[Ghost]]
|description=Rotate chairs, whine in deadchat, rave about omnighosts.  
|description=Rotate chairs, whine in deadchat, rave about omnighosts. Desperately try to make [[Robotics]] and [[Genetics]] remember your corpse.
|difficulty=Spooky
|difficulty=Spooky
|access=Irrelevant}}
|access=Irrelevant}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Admin#Special antagonists|Macho Man]]
|title=[[Admin#Special antagonists|Macho Man]]
|description=WHOOAA YEAH SKYS THE LIMIT, MACHO MADNESS
|description=MACHO MADNESS, SKYYYY'S THE LIMIT
|difficulty=GUARANTEED VICTORY!
|difficulty=GUARANTEED VICTORY!
|access=Kick open doors}}
|access=Kick open doors}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Clown]]
|title=[[Clown]]
|description=Trip on your own shoes, fall out an airlock. Regret your existence immediately.
|description=Trip on your own shoes, fall out an airlock. Regret your existence immediately. Save the station when nobody expects it.  
|difficulty=''Genuinely Worse Than Death''   
|difficulty=''H o n k''   
|access=None}}
|access=None}}


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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Chemist]]
|title=[[Chemist]]
|description=Set [[Chemistry]] on fire. Set [[Toxins]] on fire. Set [[Medbay]] on fire. Set yourself on fire.
|description=Set [[Chemistry]] on fire. Set [[Toxins]] on fire. Set [[Medbay]] on fire. Set yourself on fire. Set the servers on fire.
|difficulty=Easy to Hard
|difficulty=Easy to Hard
|access=[[Chemistry]], [[Location Repository#Research Department|Research Corridors]]}}  
|access=[[Chemistry]], [[Location Repository#Research Department|Research Corridors]]}}  

Revision as of 01:05, 29 September 2014

These are all the jobs you can fuck up choose.

Civilian Jobs

These are jobs that contribute to the crew's overall performance and efficiency, sometimes.

Civilian Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access


Ass64.png Staff Assistant Fight everyone, ruin everything. Easy Maintenance
Chef64.png Chef Shout indecipherable gibberish at Botany. Deep-fry all your ingredients. Easy Kitchen
Jobchap.png Chaplain Steal corpses for funerals, then fart on your bible. Never be around when you are actually needed. Easy Chapel
Jobbar.png Barman Get drunk, shoot your sweet gun at your bar patrons. Get subsequently looted by a mob. Easy Bar
Botanist.png Botanist Completely ignore the Chef's requests, grow shitloads of weed. Click your best plant with a chainsaw. Easy to Medium Hydroponics Maintenance
Jobjan.png Janitor Clean already clean floors, whine about beatings. Stuff everything into your trash cart. Easy to Hard Janitor's Closet, Medbay, Morgue, Maintenance


Maintenance Jobs

These jobs are charged with station upkeep and engineering support.

Maintenance Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobelec.png Mechanic Ask nicely to scan a pair of Thermals, then run off with them. Suffocate while building a pod. Medium Electronics, Maintenance, Hack into everything
Jobeng.png Engineer Use up all the plasma immediately, die in an explosion. Refuse to fix anything. Easy to Medium Engineering, Maintenance
Jobminer.png Miner Completely ignore the mineral magnet, fuck off into space. Run out of air. Easy to Medium Mining, Mining Outpost, Maintenance
Jobqmas.png Quartermaster Buy bees and booze, except when people ask you to. Order "harmless minerals", explode violently. Medium Cargo Bay, Maintenance


Research Jobs

These jobs are charged with researching new, exciting technologies and breakthroughs as well as providing medical treatment.

Research Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Med64.png Medical Doctor Never heal anyone, whine when people break in to take Medkits. Break into Chemistry. Medium Medbay, Pathology, Maintenance
Gen64.png Geneticist Make everybody Swedish Elvis. Forget about the cloner while playing Mastermind, wonder why all the chairs are spinning. Hard Genetics, Maintenance, Medbay
Rob64.png Roboticist Steal the crew's butts. Demand skulls for the skull throne. Give a botanist chainsaw arms. Medium Robotics, Medbay, Maintenance
Jobsci.png Scientist Ignore the Artifact Lab, "accidentally" throw nerve agents on people. Try to teleport yourself into the deep fryer. Hard Artifact Lab, Chemistry, Toxins, Research Sector, Teleporter Lab


Personnel Jobs

These jobs are the administration of the station. They manage the station and ensure everyone is safe and productive.

Personnel Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Sec64.gif Security Officer Beat the utter shit out of the Janitor. Stun yourself repeatedly. Soul Crushing Maintenance, Security, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors
Jobdet.png Detective Have your vital gear stolen by the Captain. Shoot at the Captain. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later. Easy to Hard Maintenance, Detective's Office, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors
Jobceng.png Chief Engineer Realize you have no clue how to start the engine, die in a fire. Suffocate in areas you refuse to repair. Medium Engineering, Electronics, Cargo Bay, Bridge, Mining, Mining Outpost, EVA, Maintenance
MedicalDirector.png Medical Director Get less respect than a cardboard box. Anesthetize patients with your gun. Medium Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Pathology, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance
Jobhor.png Research Director Sell "medicinal" drugs for cash. Make the Guardbuddies arrest everyone. Explode somehow. Medium to Hard Research, Artifacts, Toxins, Chemistry, Telescience, Teleporter, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance
Hos2012.gif Head of Security Get rehired, remind everyone why you were fired in the first place. Stomp your hat. Harder than Hard Everything + Head of Security's Office, Armory
HoP64.png Head of Personnel Leave your ID in the computer. Disappear immediately and forever. Medium to Hard Everything, because lets face it, every HoP is going to give themselves Captain-level access
Capn2x.png Captain Shoot your cat, get lynched. Reprogram the AI and become Double Captain. Throw the authentication disk at the Syndicates. Nightmarish Everything - Head of Security's Office, Armory


Antagonist Roles

These are the enemies of the station. They commit murder and outrageous acts of violence against the crew.

Antagonist Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobtrait.png Traitor Buy a glowy sword. Hit yourself with the glowy sword. Medium to Hard Depends on job
Dracula.png Vampire Stand in the Chapel. Bluhh!! Easy to Hard Depends on job
Werewolf64 2.png Werewolf Run around with a top hat. Howl at the ice moon. Hard Pry open doors
Predator64.png Predator Hunt the crew for trophies. Die within 10 minutes. Hard Pry open doors
Joboper.png Nuclear Operative Speak over the radio two minutes in. Get shot by your own team. Hard Maintenance
Wizard64.png Wizard Run around trying to kill everyone, get electrocuted by the AI. Whine, respawn, repeat. Easy to Hard Walk through walls
Changeling.png Changeling Ask genetics for DNA, get stuffed in the reclaimer. Go loud and magically attract every source of burn damage on the station. Hard Depends on job
Jobspy.png Spy Lose your PDA, implant braindead people. Remind everyone why they got rid of Rev. Hard Depends on job
GangLeader64.png Gang leader Spawn your closet outside Sec. Get beat with a mop for spraypainting the AI. Nightmarish Depends on job
GangMember64.png Gangster Join the gang with the coolest hats. Brutally murder other bustas. Hard Depends on job


Special Roles

Special roles for players.

Special Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
64px AI Get bored. Open doors. Turn the airbridges off. Psychologically devastating Everything
BJobcyborg2.gif Cyborg Ignore the AI, play dress-up. Write "fart" in tiles at escape, run out of power. Hard Everything
Jobmonkey.png Monkey Become the chef's assistant. Get put on the spike for sandwich pizza pie. Nightmarish Depends, walk under tables
Cluwne2x.png Cluwne HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK!!!!! KILL ME PLEASE IT HURTS TO LIVE HONK HONK!!! Removed
Ghost.png Ghost Rotate chairs, whine in deadchat, rave about omnighosts. Desperately try to make Robotics and Genetics remember your corpse. Spooky Irrelevant
Zombie64.png Zombie Moan for brains over the radio. Get beaten by a mob. Apocalyptic Depends on job
MachoMan64.png Macho Man MACHO MADNESS, SKYYYY'S THE LIMIT GUARANTEED VICTORY! Kick open doors


Job of the Day

Every day, one of these jobs will be available.

Job of the Day
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Tourist64.png Tourist Run around taking photos of the floor, space yourself in minutes. Easy None
ViceOfficer64.png Vice Officer Raid Botany, smoke their weed. Raid the Kitchen, eat their burgers. Medium Maintenance, Security, Brig, Hydroponics, Kitchen, Bar
Jobclown.png Clown Trip on your own shoes, fall out an airlock. Regret your existence immediately. Save the station when nobody expects it. H o n k None
Lawyer64.png Lawyer Have your suitcase stolen, represent the thief in court. Easy Maintenance, Security, Brig
Barber64.png Barber Give a bald man an afro with barber magic. Dye it pink. Easy Maintenance
Boxer64.png Boxer Punch the Captain in the face. Get murdered by the Captain. Easy Maintenance
Mailman64.png Mailman Go postal. Suffocate while trying to get to your office. Easy Maintenance


Discontinued Jobs

Jobs that are no longer available to players.

Discontinued Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
EliteSecurity64.png Elite Security Export police brutality to space, shoot the people you are meant to save. Hard Everything
HeadSurgeon64.png Head Surgeon Turn into a cardboard box. Inject people with poison. Medium to Hard Bridge, Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Maintenance
Chemist64.png Chemist Set Chemistry on fire. Set Toxins on fire. Set Medbay on fire. Set yourself on fire. Set the servers on fire. Easy to Hard Chemistry, Research Corridors
AtmosphericTechnician64.png Atmospheric Technician Pretend you're trying to help, "accidentally" fill Security with plasma. Lag the server to hell and back. Medium Atmospherics, Maintenance
Techassistant.png Technical Assistant Raid Engineering for insulated gloves. Get in the way of the actual Engineers. Easy Tech Storage, Maintenance
Medicalassistant.png Medical Assistant Assist Medbay by stealing the medical supplies. Loot the corpses in Genetics. Easy Medbay, Maintenance
Retrieved from "https://wiki.ss13.co/index.php?title=Jobs&oldid=9058"