Jobs
Revision as of 03:59, 29 April 2014 by Convair880 (talk | contribs) (Barber has maintenance access.)
These are all the jobs you can fuck up choose.
Civilian Jobs
These are jobs that contribute to the crew's overall performance and efficiency, sometimes.
Civilian Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access
|
Staff Assistant | Fight everyone, ruin everything. | Easy | Maintenance | |
64px | Chef | Shout indecipherable gibberish at Botany. Deep-fry all your ingredients. | Easy | Kitchen |
Chaplain | Fart on your bible. Leave paper all over the floor. Never be around when you are actually needed. | Easy | Chapel | |
Barman | Get drunk, shoot your shiny new gun at the patrons. Get subsequently arrested and looted by Security. | Easy | Bar | |
Botanist | Grow slurrypods, smoke weed erreyday. Ignore everybody, but especially the Chef. Get blown up by Syndicates. Make Robotics give you chainsaw arms. | Easy to Medium | Hydroponics Maintenance | |
Janitor | Clean already clean floors, whine about beatings. Stuff everything into your trash cart. Reroute the Disposals pipes directly into the crusher. | Easy to Hard | Janitor's Closet, Medbay, Morgue, Maintenance |
Maintenance Jobs
These jobs are charged with station upkeep and engineering support.
Maintenance Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Mechanic | Ask nicely to scan a pair of Thermals, then run off with them. Suffocate while building a pod. | Medium | Electronics, Maintenance, Hack into everything | |
Engineer | Use up all the plasma immediately, die in an explosion. Refuse to fix anything. | Easy to Medium | Engineering, Maintenance | |
Miner | Completely ignore the asteroid field, fuck off into space. Run out of air. | Easy to Medium | Mining, Maintenance | |
Quartermaster | Buy bees and booze, except when people ask you to. Blow the entire budget on artifacts, then never give any of them to Science. | Medium | Cargo Bay, Maintenance |
Research Jobs
These jobs are charged with researching new, exciting technologies and breakthroughs as well as providing medical treatment.
Research Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
64px | Medical Doctor | Never heal anyone, whine when people take Medkits. Break into Chemistry. | Medium | Medbay, Maintenance |
64px | Geneticist | Ask for volunteers, mutate them into epileptic elvis. Never clone anyone, get bombed. Demand that the AI give you money. | Hard | Genetics, Maintenance, Medbay |
Roboticist | Steal all the butts. Cry because nobody wants to be a cyborg. Give a botanist chainsaw arms. | Medium | Robotics, Medbay, Maintenance | |
Scientist | Ignore the Artifact Lab. Start a Telescience expedition, drain all the power, open the tank transfer valve. | Hard | Artifact Lab, Chemistry, Toxins, Research Sector, Pathology, Teleporter Lab |
Personnel Jobs
These jobs are the administration of the station. They manage the station and ensure everyone is safe and productive.
Personnel Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Security Officer | Beat the utter shit out of the Janitor. Throw tickets at everyone for breathing. Imprison yourself in the Gen Pop. | Soul Crushing | Maintenance, Security, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors | |
Detective | Have your thermals and revolver stolen by the Captain before you are even in the game. Get drunk. Take photos. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later. | Easy to Hard | Maintenance, Detective's Office, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors | |
Chief Engineer | Realize you have no clue how to start the engine, die in a fire. | Medium | Engineering, Electronics, Cargo Bay, Bridge, Mining, EVA, Maintenance | |
Medical Director | Get less respect than a cardboard box. Shoot the Research Director with your shiny new gun for stealing medbay's medicine. | Medium | Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Bridge, Maintenance | |
Research Director | Get shot by the Medical Director for stealing all of medbay's medicine. Sell "medicinal" drugs made from said medicine. Die in an entirely unrelated lethal drug overdose. | Medium to Hard | Medbay, Research, Genetics, Artifacts, Toxins, Chemistry, Telescience, Pathology, Teleporter, Bridge, Hydroponics, Maintenance | |
Head of Security | Get rehired, remind everyone why you were fired in the first place. | Harder than Hard | Everything + Head of Security's Office, Armory | |
64px | Head of Personnel | Leave your ID in the computer. Take all the money, disappear immediately and forever. | Medium to Hard | Everything, because lets face it, every HoP is going to give themselves Captain-level access |
Captain | Have your hat stolen by the Detective and subsequently loose the respect of the crew. Get drunk, reprogram the AI into a dog. Throw the authentication disk at the Syndicates. | Nightmarish | Everything - Head of Security's Office, Armory |
Antagonist Roles
These are the enemies of the station. They commit murder and outrageous acts of violence against the crew.
Antagonist Roles | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Traitor | Buy a glowy sword. Hit yourself with the glowy sword. | Medium to Hard | Depends on job | |
Vampire | Stand in the Chapel. Bluhh!! | Easy to Hard | Depends on job | |
Nuclear Operative | Speak over the radio two minutes in. Leave the shuttle without a breath mask. | Hard | Maintenance | |
Wizard | Run around trying to kill everyone, get electrocuted by the AI. Whine, respawn, repeat. | Easy to Hard | Walk through walls | |
Changeling | Dispense free drugs, beg not to be murdered. Go on a rampage in fancy dress. | Hard | Depends on job | |
Spy | Lose your PDA, implant braindead people. Remind everyone why they got rid of Rev. | Hard | Depends on job | |
Gang leader | Spawn your closet outside Sec. Get beat with a mop for spraypainting the AI. | Nightmarish | Depends on job | |
Gangster | Join the gang with the coolest hats. Brutally murder other bustas. | Hard | Depends on job |
Special Roles
Special roles for players.
Special Roles | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
64px | AI | Get bored. Open doors. Turn the airbridges off. | Psychologically Devastating | Everything |
64px | Cyborg | Ignore the AI, play dress-up. Write "fart" in tiles at escape, run out of power. | Hard | Everything |
Monkey | Become the chef's assistant. Get put on the spike for sandwich pizza. | Nightmarish | Depends, walk under tables | |
Ghost | Rotate chairs, whine in deadchat, rave about omnighosts. | Spooky | Irrelevant | |
Zombie | Moan for brains over the radio. Get beaten by a mob. | Apocalyptic | Depends on job | |
64px | Werewolf | Run around with a tophat. Howl at the Ice Moon. | Grim | Pry open doors |
Cluwne | HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK!!!!! | HONK!! | Removed |
Job of the Day
Every day, one of these jobs will be available.
Job of the Day | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Tourist | Run around taking photos of the floor, space yourself after a few minutes. | Easy | None | |
Vice Officer | Raid botany, smoke their weed. Raid the kitchen, eat their burgers. | Medium | Maintenance, Security, Brig, Hydroponics, Kitchen, Bar | |
Clown | Break into botany and grow bananas, poke your eyes out. Trip on your own shoes, fall out an airlock. | Sanity Destroying | None | |
Lawyer | Have your suitcase stolen, represent the thief in court. | Easy | Maintenance, Security, Brig | |
Barber | Give a bald man an afro with barber magic. Dye it pink. | Easy | Maintenance | |
Boxer | Box yourself to death. Punch the Captain in the groin. Be murdered by the Captain. | Easy | Maintenance | |
Mailman | Go postal. Suffocate while trying to get to your office. | Easy | Maintenance |
Discontinued Jobs
Jobs that are no longer available to players.
Discontinued Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Elite Security | Export police brutality to space, shoot the people you are meant to save. | Hard | Everything | |
Head Surgeon | Turn into a cardboard box. Inject people with poison. | Medium to Hard | Bridge, Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Maintenance | |
Chemist | "Accidentally" splash instakill mixtures on bystanders. Incur the wrath of the entire station. | Easy to Hard | Chemistry, Research Corridors | |
Atmospheric Technician | Gas the crew, set everything on fire. Lag the server to hell and back. | Medium | Atmospherics, Maintenance | |
Technical Assistant | Raid engineering for insulated gloves. Get in the way of the actual engineers. | Easy | Tech Storage, Maintenance | |
Medical Assistant | Assist the medical doctors by stealing all of their medkits. Loot the corpses in genetics. | Easy | Medbay, Maintenance |