Difference between revisions of "Jobs"
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(Shortened descriptions that were too long, changed some things for simplicity and fun's sake. Updated to keep with the times, man!!) |
Blakejohnson (talk | contribs) m (Fixed a typo.) |
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|imgwidth=64 | |imgwidth=64 | ||
|title=[[Captain]] | |title=[[Captain]] | ||
|description=Shoot your cat, reprogram the [[AI]] into a dog. Throw the [[Nuclear Authentication disk|authentication disk]] at the [[Nuclear Operative| | |description=Shoot your cat, reprogram the [[AI]] into a dog. Throw the [[Nuclear Authentication disk|authentication disk]] at the [[Nuclear Operative|Syndicates]]. | ||
|difficulty=Nightmarish | |difficulty=Nightmarish | ||
|access=Everything - [[Security_(place)#Head of Security's Office|Head of Security's Office]], [[Security_(place)#Armory|Armory]]}} | |access=Everything - [[Security_(place)#Head of Security's Office|Head of Security's Office]], [[Security_(place)#Armory|Armory]]}} |
Revision as of 04:53, 19 June 2014
These are all the jobs you can fuck up choose.
Civilian Jobs
These are jobs that contribute to the crew's overall performance and efficiency, sometimes.
Civilian Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access
|
Staff Assistant | Fight everyone, ruin everything. | Easy | Maintenance | |
64px | Chef | Shout indecipherable gibberish at Botany. Deep-fry all your ingredients. | Easy | Kitchen |
Chaplain | Fart on your bible. Leave paper all over the floor. Never be around when you are actually needed. | Easy | Chapel | |
Barman | Get drunk, shoot your new gun at your bar patrons. Get subsequently looted by a mob. | Easy | Bar | |
Botanist | Grow slurrypods, smoke weed erreyday. Ignore everybody, but especially the Chef. | Easy to Medium | Hydroponics Maintenance | |
Janitor | Clean already clean floors, whine about beatings. Stuff everything into your trash cart. | Easy to Hard | Janitor's Closet, Medbay, Morgue, Maintenance |
Maintenance Jobs
These jobs are charged with station upkeep and engineering support.
Maintenance Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Mechanic | Ask nicely to scan a pair of Thermals, then run off with them. Suffocate while building a pod. | Medium | Electronics, Maintenance, Hack into everything | |
Engineer | Use up all the plasma immediately, die in an explosion. Refuse to fix anything. | Easy to Medium | Engineering, Maintenance | |
Miner | Completely ignore the asteroid field, fuck off into space. Run out of air. | Easy to Medium | Mining, Maintenance | |
Quartermaster | Buy bees and booze, except when people ask you to. Order harmless minerals, explode violently. | Medium | Cargo Bay, Maintenance |
Research Jobs
These jobs are charged with researching new, exciting technologies and breakthroughs as well as providing medical treatment.
Research Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
64px | Medical Doctor | Never heal anyone, whine when people take Medkits. Break into Chemistry. | Medium | Medbay, Maintenance |
64px | Geneticist | Ask for volunteers, mutate them into epileptic elvis. Never clone anyone, get bombed. | Hard | Genetics, Maintenance, Medbay |
Roboticist | Steal all the butts. Cry because nobody wants to be a cyborg. Give a botanist chainsaw arms. | Medium | Robotics, Medbay, Maintenance | |
Scientist | Ignore the Artifact Lab, "accidentally" throw acid on people. Start a Telescience expedition, drain all the power. | Hard | Artifact Lab, Chemistry, Toxins, Research Sector, Pathology, Teleporter Lab |
Personnel Jobs
These jobs are the administration of the station. They manage the station and ensure everyone is safe and productive.
Personnel Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Security Officer | Beat the utter shit out of the Janitor. Ticket the staff for not giving you money. | Soul Crushing | Maintenance, Security, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors | |
Detective | Have your vital gear stolen by the Captain. Shoot at the Captain. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later. | Easy to Hard | Maintenance, Detective's Office, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors | |
Chief Engineer | Realize you have no clue how to start the engine, die in a fire. | Medium | Engineering, Electronics, Cargo Bay, Bridge, Mining, EVA, Maintenance | |
Medical Director | Get less respect than a cardboard box. Shoot the Research Director with your new gun for 'trespassing'. | Medium | Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Bridge, Maintenance | |
Research Director | Sell "medicinal" drugs for cash. Irritate the Medical Director accidentally, then on purpose. | Medium to Hard | Medbay, Research, Genetics, Artifacts, Toxins, Chemistry, Telescience, Pathology, Teleporter, Bridge, Hydroponics, Maintenance | |
Head of Security | Get rehired, remind everyone why you were fired in the first place. | Harder than Hard | Everything + Head of Security's Office, Armory | |
64px | Head of Personnel | Leave your ID in the computer. Disappear immediately and forever. | Medium to Hard | Everything, because lets face it, every HoP is going to give themselves Captain-level access |
Captain | Shoot your cat, reprogram the AI into a dog. Throw the authentication disk at the Syndicates. | Nightmarish | Everything - Head of Security's Office, Armory |
Antagonist Roles
These are the enemies of the station. They commit murder and outrageous acts of violence against the crew.
Antagonist Roles | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Traitor | Buy a glowy sword. Hit yourself with the glowy sword. | Medium to Hard | Depends on job | |
Vampire | Stand in the Chapel. Bluhh!! | Easy to Hard | Depends on job | |
64px | Werewolf | Run around with a top hat. Howl at the ice moon. | Hard | Pry open doors |
Nuclear Operative | Speak over the radio two minutes in. Leave the shuttle without a breath mask. | Hard | Maintenance | |
Wizard | Run around trying to kill everyone, get electrocuted by the AI. Whine, respawn, repeat. | Easy to Hard | Walk through walls | |
Changeling | Dispense free drugs, beg not to be murdered. Go on a rampage in fancy dress. | Hard | Depends on job | |
Spy | Lose your PDA, implant braindead people. Remind everyone why they got rid of Rev. | Hard | Depends on job | |
Gang leader | Spawn your closet outside Sec. Get beat with a mop for spraypainting the AI. | Nightmarish | Depends on job | |
Gangster | Join the gang with the coolest hats. Brutally murder other bustas. | Hard | Depends on job |
Special Roles
Special roles for players.
Special Roles | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
64px | AI | Get bored. Open doors. Turn the airbridges off. | Psychologically Devastating | Everything |
64px | Cyborg | Ignore the AI, play dress-up. Write "fart" in tiles at escape, run out of power. | Hard | Everything |
Monkey | Become the chef's assistant. Get put on the spike for sandwich pizza pie. | Nightmarish | Depends, walk under tables | |
Ghost | Rotate chairs, whine in deadchat, rave about omnighosts. | Spooky | Irrelevant | |
Zombie | Moan for brains over the radio. Get beaten by a mob. | Apocalyptic | Depends on job | |
Cluwne | HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK!!!!! | KILL ME PLEASE IT HURTS TO LIVE HONK HONK!!! | Removed |
Job of the Day
Every day, one of these jobs will be available.
Job of the Day | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Tourist | Run around taking photos of the floor, space yourself in minutes. | Easy | None | |
Vice Officer | Raid Botany, smoke their weed. Raid the Kitchen, eat their burgers. | Medium | Maintenance, Security, Brig, Hydroponics, Kitchen, Bar | |
Clown | Trip on your own shoes, fall out an airlock. Regret your existence immediately. | Genuinely Worse Than Death | None | |
Lawyer | Have your suitcase stolen, represent the thief in court. | Easy | Maintenance, Security, Brig | |
Barber | Give a bald man an afro with barber magic. Dye it pink. | Easy | Maintenance | |
Boxer | Punch the Captain in the groin. Get murdered by the Captain. | Easy | Maintenance | |
Mailman | Go postal. Suffocate while trying to get to your office. | Easy | Maintenance |
Discontinued Jobs
Jobs that are no longer available to players.
Discontinued Jobs | ||||
Mugshot | Job Title | Description | Difficulty | Access |
Elite Security | Export police brutality to space, shoot the people you are meant to save. | Hard | Everything | |
Head Surgeon | Turn into a cardboard box. Inject people with poison. | Medium to Hard | Bridge, Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Maintenance | |
Chemist | Set Chemistry on fire. Set Toxins on fire. Set Medbay on fire. Set yourself on fire. | Easy to Hard | Chemistry, Research Corridors | |
Atmospheric Technician | Pretend you're trying to help, "accidentally" fill Security with plasma. Lag the server to hell and back. | Medium | Atmospherics, Maintenance | |
Technical Assistant | Raid Engineering for insulated gloves. Get in the way of the actual Engineers. | Easy | Tech Storage, Maintenance | |
Medical Assistant | Assist Medbay by stealing the medical supplies. Loot the corpses in Genetics. | Easy | Medbay, Maintenance |