Difference between revisions of "Jobs"

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m (Moved werewolves from "Special Roles" to antagonists, because it makes rather more sense this way.)
(Shortened descriptions that were too long, changed some things for simplicity and fun's sake. Updated to keep with the times, man!!)
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Barman]]
|title=[[Barman]]
|description=Get drunk, shoot your [[Security Objects#Riot Shotgun|shiny new gun]] at the patrons. Get subsequently arrested and looted by [[Security Officer|Security]].
|description=Get drunk, shoot your [[Security Objects#Riot Shotgun|new gun]] at your bar patrons. Get subsequently looted by a mob.
|difficulty=Easy
|difficulty=Easy
|access=[[Bar]]}}
|access=[[Bar]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Botanist]]
|title=[[Botanist]]
|description=Grow slurrypods, smoke weed erreyday. Ignore everybody, but especially the [[Chef]]. Get blown up by [[Nuclear Operative|Syndicates]]. Make [[Robotics]] give you chainsaw arms. 
|description=Grow slurrypods, smoke weed erreyday. Ignore everybody, but especially the [[Chef]].  
|difficulty=Easy to Medium
|difficulty=Easy to Medium
|access=[[Hydroponics|Hydroponics]] [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Hydroponics|Hydroponics]] [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Janitor]]
|title=[[Janitor]]
|description=Clean already clean floors, whine about [[Security Officer|beatings]]. Stuff ''everything'' into your trash cart. Reroute the [[Disposals]] pipes directly into the crusher.   
|description=Clean already clean floors, whine about [[Security Officer|beatings]]. Stuff ''everything'' into your trash cart.   
|difficulty=Easy to Hard
|difficulty=Easy to Hard
|access=[[Janitor's Closet]], [[Medbay]], [[Morgue]], [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Janitor's Closet]], [[Medbay]], [[Morgue]], [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Quartermaster]]
|title=[[Quartermaster]]
|description=Buy bees and booze, except when people ask you to. Blow the entire budget on artifacts, then never give any of them to [[Artifact Lab|Science]].
|description=Buy bees and booze, except when people ask you to. Order harmless minerals, explode violently.
|difficulty=Medium
|difficulty=Medium
|access=[[Cargo Bay]], [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Cargo Bay]], [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Geneticist]]
|title=[[Geneticist]]
|description=Ask for volunteers, mutate them into epileptic elvis. Never clone anyone, get bombed. Demand that the AI give you money.
|description=Ask for volunteers, mutate them into epileptic elvis. Never clone anyone, get bombed.
|difficulty=Hard
|difficulty=Hard
|access=[[Genetics]], [[Maintenance]], [[Medbay]]}}
|access=[[Genetics]], [[Maintenance]], [[Medbay]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Scientist]]
|title=[[Scientist]]
|description=Ignore the Artifact Lab. Start a Telescience expedition, drain all the power, open the tank transfer valve.
|description=Ignore the Artifact Lab, "accidentally" throw acid on people. Start a Telescience expedition, drain all the power.
|difficulty=Hard
|difficulty=Hard
|access=[[Artifact Lab]], [[Chemistry]], [[Toxins]], [[Research Sector]], [[Pathology]], [[Teleporter Lab]]}}
|access=[[Artifact Lab]], [[Chemistry]], [[Toxins]], [[Research Sector]], [[Pathology]], [[Teleporter Lab]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Security Officer]]
|title=[[Security Officer]]
|description=Beat the utter ''shit'' out of the [[Janitor]]. Throw tickets at everyone for breathing. Imprison yourself in the Gen Pop.
|description=Beat the utter ''shit'' out of the [[Janitor]]. Ticket the staff for not giving you money.
|difficulty=''Soul Crushing''
|difficulty=''Soul Crushing''
|access=[[Maintenance]], [[Security_(place)|Security]], [[Brig]], [[Medbay]], [[Morgue]], [[Research Sector|Research Corridors]]}}
|access=[[Maintenance]], [[Security_(place)|Security]], [[Brig]], [[Medbay]], [[Morgue]], [[Research Sector|Research Corridors]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Detective]]
|title=[[Detective]]
|description=Have your [[Security Objects#Optical Thermal Scanner|thermals]] and [[Security Objects#Detective's Revolver|revolver]] stolen by the [[Captain]] before you are even in the game. Get drunk. Take photos. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later.
|description=Have your [[Security Objects#Optical Thermal Scanner|vital gear]] stolen by the [[Captain]]. Shoot at the [[Captain]]. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later.
|difficulty=Easy to Hard
|difficulty=Easy to Hard
|access=[[Maintenance]], [[Detective's Office]], [[Brig]], [[Medbay]], [[Morgue]], [[Research Sector|Research Corridors]]}}
|access=[[Maintenance]], [[Detective's Office]], [[Brig]], [[Medbay]], [[Morgue]], [[Research Sector|Research Corridors]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Chief Engineer]]
|title=[[Chief Engineer]]
|description=Realize you have no clue how to start the engine, die in a fire.
|description=Realize you have no clue how to start the engine, die in a fire.  
|difficulty=Medium
|difficulty=Medium
|access=[[Engineering]], [[Electronics]], [[Cargo Bay]], [[Bridge]], [[Mining Outpost|Mining]], [[EVA]], [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Engineering]], [[Electronics]], [[Cargo Bay]], [[Bridge]], [[Mining Outpost|Mining]], [[EVA]], [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Medical Director]]
|title=[[Medical Director]]
|description=Get less respect than a [[Head Surgeon|cardboard box]]. Shoot the Research Director with your [[Security Objects#Tranquilizer Rifle|shiny new gun]] for stealing medbay's [[Doctoring#Drugs|medicine]].  
|description=Get less respect than a [[Head Surgeon|cardboard box]]. Shoot the Research Director with your [[Security Objects#Tranquilizer Rifle|new gun]] for 'trespassing'.  
|difficulty=Medium
|difficulty=Medium
|access=[[Medbay]], [[Genetics]], [[Robotics]], [[Bridge]], [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Medbay]], [[Genetics]], [[Robotics]], [[Bridge]], [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Research Director]]
|title=[[Research Director]]
|description=Get shot by the Medical Director for stealing all of medbay's medicine. Sell "medicinal" [[Chemistry#Drugs|drugs]] made from said medicine. Die in an entirely unrelated [[Chemistry#Poisons and Toxic Shit|lethal drug]] overdose.
|description=Sell "medicinal" [[Chemistry#Drugs|drugs]] for cash. Irritate the [[Medical Director]] accidentally, then on purpose.
|difficulty=Medium to Hard
|difficulty=Medium to Hard
|access=[[Medbay]], [[Research Sector|Research]], [[Genetics]], [[Artifact Lab|Artifacts]], [[Toxins]], [[Chemistry]], [[Teleporter Lab|Telescience]], [[Pathology]], [[Teleporter Room|Teleporter]], [[Bridge]], [[Hydroponics]], [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Medbay]], [[Research Sector|Research]], [[Genetics]], [[Artifact Lab|Artifacts]], [[Toxins]], [[Chemistry]], [[Teleporter Lab|Telescience]], [[Pathology]], [[Teleporter Room|Teleporter]], [[Bridge]], [[Hydroponics]], [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Head of Personnel]]
|title=[[Head of Personnel]]
|description=Leave your ID in the [[Computers#ID Computer|computer]]. [[Computers#Bank Records|Take all the money]], disappear immediately and forever.
|description=Leave your ID in the [[Computers#ID Computer|computer]]. Disappear immediately and forever.
|difficulty=Medium to Hard
|difficulty=Medium to Hard
|access=Everything, because lets face it, every HoP is going to give themselves [[Captain]]-level access}}
|access=Everything, because lets face it, every HoP is going to give themselves [[Captain]]-level access}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Captain]]
|title=[[Captain]]
|description=Have your [[Hats|hat]] stolen by the [[Detective]] and subsequently loose the respect of the [[Staff Assistant|crew]]. Get drunk, reprogram the [[AI]] into a dog. Throw the [[Nuclear Authentication disk|authentication disk]] at the [[Nuclear Operative|Syndicates]].
|description=Shoot your cat, reprogram the [[AI]] into a dog. Throw the [[Nuclear Authentication disk|authentication disk]] at the [[Nuclear Operative|Syndicaes]].  
|difficulty=Nightmarish
|difficulty=Nightmarish
|access=Everything - [[Security_(place)#Head of Security's Office|Head of Security's Office]], [[Security_(place)#Armory|Armory]]}}
|access=Everything - [[Security_(place)#Head of Security's Office|Head of Security's Office]], [[Security_(place)#Armory|Armory]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Monkey]]
|title=[[Monkey]]
|description=Become the [[Chef|chef's]] assistant. Get put on the spike for sandwich pizza.
|description=Become the [[Chef|chef's]] assistant. Get put on the spike for sandwich pizza pie.
|difficulty=Nightmarish
|difficulty=Nightmarish
|access=Depends, walk under tables}}
|access=Depends, walk under tables}}
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|title=[[Cluwne]]
|title=[[Cluwne]]
|description=HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK!!!!!
|description=HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK!!!!!
|difficulty=HONK!!  
|difficulty=KILL ME PLEASE IT HURTS TO LIVE HONK HONK!!!  
|access=Removed}}
|access=Removed}}


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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Tourist]]
|title=[[Tourist]]
|description=Run around taking photos of the floor, space yourself after a few minutes.
|description=Run around taking photos of the floor, space yourself in minutes.
|difficulty=Easy
|difficulty=Easy
|access=None}}
|access=None}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Vice Officer]]
|title=[[Vice Officer]]
|description=Raid [[Hydroponics|botany]], smoke their weed. Raid the [[Kitchen|kitchen]], eat their burgers.
|description=Raid [[Hydroponics|Botany]], smoke their weed. Raid the [[Kitchen]], eat their burgers.
|difficulty=Medium
|difficulty=Medium
|access=[[Maintenance]], [[Security_(place)|Security]], [[Brig]], [[Hydroponics]], [[Kitchen]], [[Bar]]}}
|access=[[Maintenance]], [[Security_(place)|Security]], [[Brig]], [[Hydroponics]], [[Kitchen]], [[Bar]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Clown]]
|title=[[Clown]]
|description=Break into [[Hydroponics|botany]] and grow bananas, poke your eyes out. Trip on your own shoes, fall out an airlock.
|description=Trip on your own shoes, fall out an airlock. Regret your existence immediately.
|difficulty=''Sanity Destroying''   
|difficulty=''Genuinely Worse Than Death''   
|access=None}}
|access=None}}


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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Boxer]]
|title=[[Boxer]]
|description=Box yourself to death. Punch the [[Captain]] in the groin. Be murdered by the [[Captain]].
|description=Punch the [[Captain]] in the groin. Get murdered by the [[Captain]].
|difficulty=Easy
|difficulty=Easy
|access=[[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Chemist]]
|title=[[Chemist]]
|description="Accidentally" splash instakill mixtures on bystanders. Incur the wrath of the entire station.
|description=Set [[Chemistry]] on fire. Set [[Toxins]] on fire. Set [[Medbay]] on fire. Set yourself on fire.
|difficulty=Easy to Hard
|difficulty=Easy to Hard
|access=[[Chemistry]], [[Location Repository#Research Department|Research Corridors]]}}  
|access=[[Chemistry]], [[Location Repository#Research Department|Research Corridors]]}}  
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Atmospheric Technician]]
|title=[[Atmospheric Technician]]
|description=Gas the crew, set everything on fire. Lag the server to hell and back.
|description=Pretend you're trying to help, "accidentally" fill Security with plasma. Lag the server to hell and back.
|difficulty=Medium
|difficulty=Medium
|access=Atmospherics, [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=Atmospherics, [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Technical Assistant]]
|title=[[Technical Assistant]]
|description=Raid [[Engineering|engineering]] for insulated gloves. Get in the way of the actual engineers.
|description=Raid [[Engineering]] for insulated gloves. Get in the way of the actual Engineers.
|difficulty=Easy
|difficulty=Easy
|access=[[Tech Storage]], [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Tech Storage]], [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Medical Assistant]]
|title=[[Medical Assistant]]
|description=Assist the medical doctors by stealing all of their medkits. Loot the corpses in genetics.
|description=Assist [[Medbay]] by stealing the medical supplies. Loot the corpses in Genetics.
|difficulty=Easy
|difficulty=Easy
|access=[[Medbay]], [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Medbay]], [[Maintenance]]}}


[[Category:Jobs]]
[[Category:Jobs]]

Revision as of 21:16, 18 June 2014

These are all the jobs you can fuck up choose.

Civilian Jobs

These are jobs that contribute to the crew's overall performance and efficiency, sometimes.

Civilian Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access


Jobass.png Staff Assistant Fight everyone, ruin everything. Easy Maintenance
64px Chef Shout indecipherable gibberish at Botany. Deep-fry all your ingredients. Easy Kitchen
Jobchap.png Chaplain Fart on your bible. Leave paper all over the floor. Never be around when you are actually needed. Easy Chapel
Jobbar.png Barman Get drunk, shoot your new gun at your bar patrons. Get subsequently looted by a mob. Easy Bar
Botanist.png Botanist Grow slurrypods, smoke weed erreyday. Ignore everybody, but especially the Chef. Easy to Medium Hydroponics Maintenance
Jobjan.png Janitor Clean already clean floors, whine about beatings. Stuff everything into your trash cart. Easy to Hard Janitor's Closet, Medbay, Morgue, Maintenance


Maintenance Jobs

These jobs are charged with station upkeep and engineering support.

Maintenance Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobelec.png Mechanic Ask nicely to scan a pair of Thermals, then run off with them. Suffocate while building a pod. Medium Electronics, Maintenance, Hack into everything
Jobeng.png Engineer Use up all the plasma immediately, die in an explosion. Refuse to fix anything. Easy to Medium Engineering, Maintenance
Jobminer.png Miner Completely ignore the asteroid field, fuck off into space. Run out of air. Easy to Medium Mining, Maintenance
Jobqmas.png Quartermaster Buy bees and booze, except when people ask you to. Order harmless minerals, explode violently. Medium Cargo Bay, Maintenance


Research Jobs

These jobs are charged with researching new, exciting technologies and breakthroughs as well as providing medical treatment.

Research Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
64px Medical Doctor Never heal anyone, whine when people take Medkits. Break into Chemistry. Medium Medbay, Maintenance
64px Geneticist Ask for volunteers, mutate them into epileptic elvis. Never clone anyone, get bombed. Hard Genetics, Maintenance, Medbay
Jobrob.png Roboticist Steal all the butts. Cry because nobody wants to be a cyborg. Give a botanist chainsaw arms. Medium Robotics, Medbay, Maintenance
Jobsci.png Scientist Ignore the Artifact Lab, "accidentally" throw acid on people. Start a Telescience expedition, drain all the power. Hard Artifact Lab, Chemistry, Toxins, Research Sector, Pathology, Teleporter Lab


Personnel Jobs

These jobs are the administration of the station. They manage the station and ensure everyone is safe and productive.

Personnel Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobsec.png Security Officer Beat the utter shit out of the Janitor. Ticket the staff for not giving you money. Soul Crushing Maintenance, Security, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors
Jobdet.png Detective Have your vital gear stolen by the Captain. Shoot at the Captain. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later. Easy to Hard Maintenance, Detective's Office, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors
Jobceng.png Chief Engineer Realize you have no clue how to start the engine, die in a fire. Medium Engineering, Electronics, Cargo Bay, Bridge, Mining, EVA, Maintenance
MedicalDirector.png Medical Director Get less respect than a cardboard box. Shoot the Research Director with your new gun for 'trespassing'. Medium Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Bridge, Maintenance
Jobhor.png Research Director Sell "medicinal" drugs for cash. Irritate the Medical Director accidentally, then on purpose. Medium to Hard Medbay, Research, Genetics, Artifacts, Toxins, Chemistry, Telescience, Pathology, Teleporter, Bridge, Hydroponics, Maintenance
Hos2012.gif Head of Security Get rehired, remind everyone why you were fired in the first place. Harder than Hard Everything + Head of Security's Office, Armory
64px Head of Personnel Leave your ID in the computer. Disappear immediately and forever. Medium to Hard Everything, because lets face it, every HoP is going to give themselves Captain-level access
Capn2x.png Captain Shoot your cat, reprogram the AI into a dog. Throw the authentication disk at the Syndicaes. Nightmarish Everything - Head of Security's Office, Armory


Antagonist Roles

These are the enemies of the station. They commit murder and outrageous acts of violence against the crew.

Antagonist Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobtrait.png Traitor Buy a glowy sword. Hit yourself with the glowy sword. Medium to Hard Depends on job
Dracula.png Vampire Stand in the Chapel. Bluhh!! Easy to Hard Depends on job
64px Werewolf Run around with a top hat. Howl at the ice moon. Hard Pry open doors
Joboper.png Nuclear Operative Speak over the radio two minutes in. Leave the shuttle without a breath mask. Hard Maintenance
Wizard64.png Wizard Run around trying to kill everyone, get electrocuted by the AI. Whine, respawn, repeat. Easy to Hard Walk through walls
Changeling.png Changeling Dispense free drugs, beg not to be murdered. Go on a rampage in fancy dress. Hard Depends on job
Jobspy.png Spy Lose your PDA, implant braindead people. Remind everyone why they got rid of Rev. Hard Depends on job
GangLeader64.png Gang leader Spawn your closet outside Sec. Get beat with a mop for spraypainting the AI. Nightmarish Depends on job
GangMember64.png Gangster Join the gang with the coolest hats. Brutally murder other bustas. Hard Depends on job


Special Roles

Special roles for players.

Special Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
64px AI Get bored. Open doors. Turn the airbridges off. Psychologically Devastating Everything
64px Cyborg Ignore the AI, play dress-up. Write "fart" in tiles at escape, run out of power. Hard Everything
Jobmonkey.png Monkey Become the chef's assistant. Get put on the spike for sandwich pizza pie. Nightmarish Depends, walk under tables
Ghost.png Ghost Rotate chairs, whine in deadchat, rave about omnighosts. Spooky Irrelevant
Zombie64.png Zombie Moan for brains over the radio. Get beaten by a mob. Apocalyptic Depends on job
Cluwne2x.png Cluwne HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK!!!!! KILL ME PLEASE IT HURTS TO LIVE HONK HONK!!! Removed


Job of the Day

Every day, one of these jobs will be available.

Job of the Day
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Tourist64.png Tourist Run around taking photos of the floor, space yourself in minutes. Easy None
ViceOfficer64.png Vice Officer Raid Botany, smoke their weed. Raid the Kitchen, eat their burgers. Medium Maintenance, Security, Brig, Hydroponics, Kitchen, Bar
Jobclown.png Clown Trip on your own shoes, fall out an airlock. Regret your existence immediately. Genuinely Worse Than Death None
Lawyer64.png Lawyer Have your suitcase stolen, represent the thief in court. Easy Maintenance, Security, Brig
Barber64.png Barber Give a bald man an afro with barber magic. Dye it pink. Easy Maintenance
Boxer64.png Boxer Punch the Captain in the groin. Get murdered by the Captain. Easy Maintenance
Mailman64.png Mailman Go postal. Suffocate while trying to get to your office. Easy Maintenance


Discontinued Jobs

Jobs that are no longer available to players.

Discontinued Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
EliteSecurity64.png Elite Security Export police brutality to space, shoot the people you are meant to save. Hard Everything
HeadSurgeon64.png Head Surgeon Turn into a cardboard box. Inject people with poison. Medium to Hard Bridge, Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Maintenance
Chemist64.png Chemist Set Chemistry on fire. Set Toxins on fire. Set Medbay on fire. Set yourself on fire. Easy to Hard Chemistry, Research Corridors
AtmosphericTechnician64.png Atmospheric Technician Pretend you're trying to help, "accidentally" fill Security with plasma. Lag the server to hell and back. Medium Atmospherics, Maintenance
Techassistant.png Technical Assistant Raid Engineering for insulated gloves. Get in the way of the actual Engineers. Easy Tech Storage, Maintenance
Medicalassistant.png Medical Assistant Assist Medbay by stealing the medical supplies. Loot the corpses in Genetics. Easy Medbay, Maintenance
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