Beesmark's Goon Guide to Robust Security

This page is about discontinued content. The following information is not current. It is kept for historical purposes. This page is the text version of a video guide from late 2017. Many of the mechanics and practices it describes are now obsolete. It is still kept around out of historical interest, as a relic of a previous era of Security.

Part 1: Recommended Items

Too Long, Didn't Watch

Equipment

• Helmet or Hardhat
  • Protects you against chemicals don't penetrate the skin (e.g. acids), makes toolboxes/baseball bats to the head less effective.
• Breathing mask
  • Better to breathe and live to see a perp get justice than to die without it on.
  • Ensures you have instant access to internals in event of a hull breach so long as you have some sort of oxygen tank, with the added bonus of also protecting against being splashed with acid and falling facefirst into puddles of sewage and other nasty chemicals.
• Emergency oxygen tank
  • Lightweight and fits in your pocket and belt, unlike the bulky full-sized tanks. Fill it up to around 1013 kpa or so at the oxygen canisters (the big blue ones, not the big white ones), and you'll be able to breathe for the whole shift, for hours and hours on end.
    • If you set the mask release pressure to 81, you can fill it with air mix from the white canisters. (If you forget to change the mask release pressure, you'll suffocate, so be careful about that.)
• Security Headset:
  • Should be obvious. Feel free to swap the headset out with one with better access than just Security and General radio channels.
• SecHUDs
  • Allows you easily spot those set to arrest (two exclamation points over their head) and those with contraband in their hands (a little C over their head). Also protects against flashes, allowing you to easily set up the portable flashers in Security.
• Body armor
  • Partially protects you against bullets and melee attacks to the chest.
• Default Security uniform
  • Not so much for you so much as for everyone else. If you're in a brawl, other officers and crew will instantly recognize you as one of their own and (hopefully) come to your side.
  • If you're the sole Security Officer around however, you might want to swap it out for a different uniform or another jumpsuit altogether, to blend in with all the other suspicious hooligans and criminal scum.
• PDA:
  • Very important. You should insert your ID into this, so you can save your belt slot for the fanny pack. You should also have the ringer off, so that you don't give away your position when you're being sneaky.
  • Very handy for talking with crew who have valuable information on the round's antagonist but are too afraid to say it over public radio.
  • Beesmark/Hikurac/Marsbar actually recommends the Med-U cartridge, for the Reagent Scan and NanoMed Remote.
    • Reagent Scan allows you to scan suspicious pills and foods and drinks for any toxins and poisons.
    • NanoMed Remote allows you to instantly access a giant floating medkit whenever you get hurt, poisoned, shot, etc., freeing up loads of backpack slots that would have otherwise gone towards medkits.
    • You can build credible trust among the crew members (treacherous or not) by summoning the NanoMed and throwing a few patches or autoinjectors at them when they're injured and dying. This way, when the time comes where you're the one injured and dying, they're less likely to beat your face in and more likely to actually help you.
  • Med-U cartridges can be brought from CartyParty vending machines.
  • If you do have the Med-U cartridge, have your PDA on the NanoMed Remote app screen, so you can quickly Summon the NanoMed in emergencies.
• Boxing gloves or Insulated gloves
  • Prevents you from being shocked by most, but not all sources of electricity. Someone else usually nabs the insulated gloves, but usually not the boxing gloves, so it's usually better to make a visit in the Gym.
• Magnetic boots
  • In a station where treacherous puddles and slippery floors are common, the man with no-slip shoes is king. If you're chasing a perp down a hallway with a slipping hazard, these boots will save your life. The perp will slip; you won't, giving you an easy chance for a stun.
  • If you're lying on the ground, you can't be pulled. This can either save or ruin your round.
    • If a changeling tries to sting and eat you, they may or may not land a sting, but they certainly won't be able to drag you into a secluded maintenance tunnel to drain your fluids. In some cases, they may be so confused that they completely forget about you and move onward to another victim.
    • If a benevolent crew member tries to drag you to safety and/or Medbay, and they don't realize they have to pull off your magboots, they won't be able to bring to safety. In some cases, they may be so confused that they completely forget about you and move onward to another victim.
• Large beaker of cryostalane
  • Click on it or use your activation hotkey (which is usually either Page Down or C) to tighten your grip on the beaker, so you only pour 10 units of cryostalane at a time, conserving cryostalane.
  • On fire? Pour some cryostalane on yourself (or anyone else also on fire for that matter), and it will instantly put it out, encasing you in ice.
  • If you ever get stuck in an ice cube, just move around randomly for a short while.
  • If you ever need to get someone out of an ice cube, kick (be on Harm intent) the ice cube around 10 times or so.
  • Need help detaining someone? Trying to catch a perp in a crowd/multi-man brawl? Pour some cryostalane on them. When they get out, their body temperature will be very low, and they'll move very slowly, giving you an easy chance to arrest them.
  • Being chased? Spill some cryo on the floor tile right ahead or behind you to create some ice. Because you're wearing magnetic boots, you'll keep walking while the chaser will slip on the ice, unless they're also wearing magnetic boots or magic sandals (galoshes don't provide no-slip against ice). It's a banana in a beaker!
• Backpack
  • Have this open at all time, so you don't make awkward rummaging noises when you're trying to be stealthy. This should generally be set aside for your weapons and the items need in urgent situations. More on what you should be in your backpack later.
• Fanny pack/Funny pack
  • Get a fanny pack if you can. If you can't, use a utility or sec belt. The items in your fanny packs are generally things like tools and other things that you'd like for non-urgent situations. Again, more on those later.

Backpack

• Fire extinguisher
  • Safety off, so you can use it on the tile you're standing on and instantly put your self out.
• Stun baton
  • Have it in on and on any intent besides Harm to stun people with it.
  • If you're actually trying to beat people to death with it by harmbatoning (using the stun baton on Harm intent) them, do not, do not use it with the stun baton on, lest you shock yourself and suffer a loooong stun. Don't learn it the hard way. Have it off!
• Taser
  • This actually has two modes, stun and burst. Click on it/use your activation key (usually C or Page Down) with it in your hand to switch modes.
    • Stun mode: Taser fires one shot that uses 15 PU, for a possible 6 shots out of the taser's 100 PU. General purpose, works for most situations.
    • Burst: Taser fires three shots that overall use 45 PU, for a possible 2 shots out of the taser's 100 PU. Not the recommended mode in a chase, as the shots are usually too slow to catch up to them. But it works wonders for ambushing a wizard or changeling, because one burst of shots will completely shutdown their spells and stings.
  • You can also use it on harm intent to tase them at point blank. If you use any other intent, you'll just hit them with the taser.
• Handcuffs
  • Better to be in the backpack rather than the box, for easier, quicker access.
• Large beaker of fluorosulfuric acid
  • Tighten your grip on it as well, by clicking on it or using your activating key (usually C or Page Down) while the beaker's in your hand.
  • Just 9 units of fluorosulfuric acid will melt annoying noisemaker artifacts, suspicious contraband, and, most usefully, wizard gear.
• Upgraded Health Scanner
  • If someone stands next you for juuust too long, you can check if they've just sleepy-penned or stung you by using the health scanner on yourself, and it'll show if you have any neurotoxin, ketamine, or other dangerous chemicals in your body.
  • Plus, it's a health scanner/reagent scanner combo, so you won't have to spend valuable seconds switching between the Health Scanner and Reagent Scan apps on your PDA.
• Box
  • Be aware that you can't open the box while moving, unlike with other servers.
  • Calomel syringe/autoinjector:
    • Calomel makes toxic chemicals deplete from your body 5 times faster. It'll cause some toxin damage to you, but it's much better at saving you from a neurotoxic sting or sleepy pen injection than a charcoal shot will.
  • Spare pair of handcuffs
    • It's easy to uncuff someone and accidentally leave the handcuffs on the floor, depriving you of cuffs for later. Don't let it happen to you. Get a spare pair.
  • Empty syringe and igniter
    • A easy, portable changeling blood test. Extract some blood from the suspect and heat the syringe in your hand using the igniter. If you get a message that the blood in the syringe is sizzling or trying to escape, you can be pretty sure there's a bonafide changeling around.
    • Igniters are preferred over welders and cigarette lighters. Igniters don't run out of fuel, lighters and welders do.
    • Use it in your hand or pockets! It's much faster if you use it in hand or in pockets rather than in your backpack or box.
  • Flash
    • Backup weapon, for the stunning the easy perps, those not wearing sunglasses, SecHUDs, or welding masks.
  • Forensic scanner
    • Forensics is not just for the Detective! You can use forensics too, and use many of the same tricks and techniques. Just scan a door or a item with it, and you'll get a DNA, blood analysis, and/or glove ID of everyone who's touched it. Scan a person with it to find their current DNA, blood analysis, and/or glove ID.
    • Conveniently, if you get DNA or blood analysis, you can activate the scanner in hand (click on it or press either C or Page Down) to find the corresponding Security Record for it, showing their original name and original occupation. Many fake captains have been spotted just because of this simple trick.
  • Drinking glass
    • A companion to your fluorosulfuric acid beaker. Don't forcefeed people with it! Throw it at them! If it lands, the glass will break, applying whatever nasty chemicals were in it to their face. Handy for defrocking wizards!

Fanny pack

• EVA Suit
  • Having a space-worthy suit and helmet alongside internals will make getting thrown into space and navigating hull breaches much easier. Be prepared.
• Screwdriver, multitool, crowbar
  • Standard door hacking gear. Strictly not for looting rooms, mind you, but for busting into criminal hideouts.
• Welder
  • Chasing someone? Force them into a dead end and weld the door so they can't get out.
• Box of surgical tools
  • Scalpel
    • For removing microbomb, macrobomb, and mindslave implants. Simply use the scalpel on their chest once while they're lying on a bed or table to cut the offending implant out.
  • Circular saw
    • For stylish yet effective changeling lobotomies. Use the scalpel, then the saw, the scalpel, then saw on the changeling's head while they in a bed or on a table to instantly kill them.
    • Use the scalpel and saw again to remove their skull. If you get a peculiar or unusual skull, you've just killed a bonafide changeling or wizard. If you just get a regular skull, take the body back to cloning and apologize for grievous harm to a body.
  • Staple gun
    • You'll need this if you ever need to reattach a limb.
  • Suture
    • For cleaning up the wounds from the above surgeries. By suturing up, you'll save their ass from bleeding to death and save your ass from the bwoink of an angry god.
  • Enucleation spoon
    • Eye loss is quite debilitating, and it's hard to get a new eye, so consider removing one of the eyes for a repeat offender, if brig time and other punishments aren't enough to keep them in line.
    • Eye removal is spoon-scalpel-spoon, targeting the head. Be sure to use the same hand each time, lest you just spoon them and stab them with a scalpel instead.
  • Wrench
    • Allows you to easily move around and bolt down the portable flashers.

Utility belt

If you can't get a fanny pack or equivalent, you can make do with just a utility belt or a secbelt. Utility and secbelts only fit small size items however, so you won't be able to fit your space suit inside it (though you can fit your space helmet). On the bright side, you can still fit the box in, and you can leave your wrench on the belt rather than in the box.

Miscellaneous

• Internet Browser: Preferably on either the Chemistry or Syndicate Items pages.
• Notepad: Keep track of names of suspicious people, glove IDs, etc.