Enshrined within this hallowed article are the bitterest tears and most rampant stupidity to ever grace the pages of our noble Ban Appeal Forum. Though they technically qualify as Pubbie Tears or Dumb Pubbies, the entries on those articles are for ingame stuff.
Be sure to include a link to the post/page/topic where the offending contents can be found!
A Quick Note
Being listed here IS IN NO WAY SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF.
Bragging about being listed here is pretty much on the same level socially as blowing a kitten's head off. So don't do it!
Hauau, October 1, 2010
Your point being? After six hours of nonstop working i usually find myself far more irritationally angry at anything that after 6 hours of relaxing gaming with a cup of tea and shit. Can you imagine what a LIFETIME of doing that sort of thing brings? Spoiler: people.
Speaking of shit, why you don't care about poo everywhere, and are quite acceptional of it, while it is far more deviational thing that being turned on by some cat ears? I'll tell you - because the society here tells you to, and you obey without thiking, and you start to think only when you need to make up some ideas why the things you are told to hate are worse than things you are told to tolerate.
Homosexuals are just... oh god they are irritating. GAY PRIDE LET'S MARCH ON STREETS AND THEN WHINE ABOUT PEOPLE NOT LIKING US.
Women are just... oh god they are irritating. HEY GUYS IM PREGNANT SO YOU PAY ME SALARY WHILE I SIT AT HOME DOING NOTHING, ALSO I'LL BE YELLING AROUND AND BE A MISERABLE CUNT BUT I'M ALLOWED TO DO SO.
Joe213 21. August 2010
In an unban appeal, no longer accessible, not even through Internet Archive, he showed the entire spectrum of the not-so-rare occurance of pubbie tears.
- do not know what i did but i just want u to know that i am waiting
- if u do not reply this in 1 day i will report u to the person who made the game and the host of the game
- I thought u were the dominant Admin and you still do your job right and i applaud you for that so I ask you to please unban me
- life is a just a plain colorless world without space station 13, space station 13 is the thing that brings life to my world it brings up the grass of the earth
- RathenSA I am very sorry that iw as being a dick and Ideserved to be banned and u did permanantley
by joe213 Â» Sat Aug 21, 2010 8:05 pm
It is conclded that I must be unbanned please Rathen?
UndeadStudios, September 2010
SAOrangeSoda posted this on the forum, with the context of "I banned some guy for, once again, using an adminhelp to report a few other players being "nggers". I banned him for 20 days and this dump of hilarity ended up in my PMs"
Modified a bit for appearance.
From: UndeadStudios: Fuck you, im black, and I took out the I. Idiiot shithead.
From: UndeadStudios: That means you just banned a blackman for saying nger. RACIST! BITCH!
From: UndeadStudios: Im reporting you to byond officials.
To: UndeadStudios: You realize permaban was a mistake. though it's not now
From: UndeadStudios: I can get you permabanned from byond.
From: UndeadStudios: What now, bitch?
From: UndeadStudios: Now, bend down suck my cock give me admin and unban me, and we cool. If not, right after im done watching some DR2 shit, your getting your ass bant.
From: UndeadStudios: Nigga you got one minute.
From: UndeadStudios: Aight nigga, imma call my homie and make it happen then.
To: UndeadStudios: If it really means that much to you, you CAN appeal the ban on the forums you know.
To: UndeadStudios: But this is fucking hilarious so far
From: UndeadStudios: I've had ENOUGH OF YOU ABUSIVE DIPSHIT MOTHER FUCERS
From: UndeadStudios: Dont you fucking goddamn DARE think I cant do shit.
From: UndeadStudios: And dont you DARE laugh, or so help me, I will rip your head off from the BYOND community.
From: UndeadStudios: Meatbag, this aint worth it.
From: UndeadStudios: All I really should do, is say fuck you and walk off.
From: UndeadStudios: So, Fuck you.
Tr1angl3WalkZ, July 25-27, 2015
This extraordinary day begins with an ordinary ban appeal by the repeat offender Tr1angl3WalkZ, who pleads that he is a changed man who has learned from their mistakes. After a number of admins bring up a long history of bans and ban evasion, Tr1ngle3WalkZ asks a fateful question:
Didn't know, but thanks for linking that, also I think that everyone deserves a...8th chance. Anyway is there any hope of me getting unbanned?
Let's play a game! It'll be fun.
This is a ~*THOUGHT EXPERIMENT*~. Nothing here should be taken as a threat, offer, or suggestion that any of the acts about to be described will ever happen. Okay? Okay.
Let's say for the sake of this ~intellectual construct~ that we happened to live in the same town and were in the same social circles, but weren't friends - just barely acquainted. Because I'm a suave motherfucker, you invite me back to your place to watch Strange Days on DVD, because that movie is awesome and totally go check it out.
We get to your place, I excuse myself to the bathroom and - vanish. After a while, you check on the bathroom, only to find a perfectly coiled turd delicately balanced on top of the toilet seat, and I've apparently escaped out the window.
Huh. Weird. Things happen, though, and you invite me over again, because seriously that movie is so great.
This time, I head to the kitchen for a snack, and vanish. Investigation reveals that I've sharted in your water pitcher, turning what was once a gallon of crisp, clear Adam's Ale into my own personal chowder. Also escaped out the window again.
Maybe it's just a custom of his people, you think, and invite me over again, because the soundtrack for that film is remarkably great and turned me on to Macedonian folk pop.
I announce that I forgot something in my car, and vanish. You roll your eyes and head outside to survey the damage, only to find that I had apparently pressed my anus to your mail slot (and that I've been a good boy and eating my fiber lately) and pooped a perfect rectangle through it, like the world's foulest Play-Doh Fun Factory.
You sigh and invite me over again, because Strange Days is an excellent piece of speculative fiction and the idea of being able to record and play back experiences is fodder for some really great imagination.
This time I shove past you when you open the door and, in record time, drop a big hairy loaf in your fish tank. You almost puke on the floor while fishing it out because I'd had Mexican the night before, and your prize clownfish is picking the green onion bits out of the mess.
Through gritted teeth, you invite me over AGAIN, because although she's still in a subservient role to the protagonist, and doesn't pass the Bechdel test, the character of Mace is a rare example of a strong black woman in film.
This time I've brought a gift! A box of raisins. Excellent, you say, and shelve it for later, because you're not hungry now, but were going to make oatmeal cookies later, and oatmeal raisin cookies are proof of a kind and loving deity. The DVD player is on the fritz, though, and we wind up watching three hours of Hee Haw reruns. I take my leave, and that's when you discover that the box of raisins is instead filled with tiny blobs of painstakingly-rolled tiny poops. You begin to wonder what happened to me as a child.
It takes you a good half hour of psyching yourself up to pick up the phone and let me know that you got your DVD player fixed, so come on over and we'll enjoy the cinematography of Matthew Leonetti.
This time I've brought a bottle of wine! Let's pretend that I'm getting a little tired of coming up with wacky scenarios and it's piss, alright, it's a wine bottle filled with piss. Maybe it's mine, maybe it isn't, but the piss provenance isn't the issue here, okay? It's just piss. A refreshing change from poo shenanigans, sure, but you're still left with a bottle of Riesling where Riesling is crossed out with a green crayon and PEESLING is written in its place. And the S is backwards, this is for Reasons. I'm a writer!
That's what, six already? Two more? Okay.
You invite me over again, for reasons no sane person could even begin to speculate to, and I announce to you that I have truly changed my ways, and in fact, had hired a cleaning crew to come by earlier while you were at work and scour the place stem to stern. As much as it unnerves you to have had people in your apartment without your knowledge, and as much as it worries you that I was apparently able to let them in somehow, you have to admit that the place has never looked better. We watch the film and agree that it's one of the finest films ever made, and that it's a damnable shame that James Cameron is famous for lesser films like The Terminator series, when this is clearly his masterwork. We bid each other adieu, and you head to bed happy that for once, you got through an evening without any unauthorized exhaust. The next morning comes, and the apartment smells FOUL. It takes you three hours to check the place over, and you finally found that I have laid the king hell of all eggs on the filter for your air conditioner. You stare at it in silent amazement, wondering how I passed that thing and was able to walk afterward. You consider shooting it before tossing it in the dumpster, because you're not used to seeing anything that large that is neither alive nor a stone.
I call you the next morning wanting to know if you'd like to see The Terror Of Tiny-Town, an all-dwarf spaghetti western. This is the point at which you suggest it's not working out.
Okay. NOW FOR THE EXPERIMENT. At which point in the above did your suspension of disbelief falter? If it was anywhere past the first hidden poo, then you are either far more forgiving than is healthy, or you might have some issues with self-esteem. And yet, after repeatedly making a terrible mess of the place and making sure we don't want you around anymore *seven seperate times*, you still expect to be invited over for coffee and discussion of Ralph Fiennes and Vincent D'Onofrio's best film?
And so Tr1angl3WalkZ replied:
He is my best friend, and friends stay friends no matter what.
And later said:
I noticed, so can I get that unban? big grin
Coolgames814, April 11-May 14, 2017
This all started with a ban appeal:
Who banned you?: AutoBanner
Byond Key: Coolgames814
Date of Ban: I think it was either two years ago or one year ago.
Specified Reason for Ban: beat and spaced a dude for no reason, then logs off after stopped, still a jerk
Ban Length: Permanent
What led to the ban? I can't really remember that much since it was a very long time ago I think I may have got upset with him I'm not too sure.
Why am I appealing? / Why should I be unbanned: I would like to mention I have read over the rules and I believe I broke rule one "Don't grief" and I fully understand that what I did was wrong.
Evasion Attempts: I don't remember any I don't know just correct me if I'm wrong
Then some INCOHERENT RANTING:
I have been using a vpn and yes I do have multiple other ckeys oh and also theres a space station 13 remake comming out, (Here he links to stationeers).
And Yes I have tried evading bans but know i've given up and learnt from my mistakes..
The remake seems more funner then the goddamn byond version because theres no one telling you what to do. you know what this game would be alot more funner if it actually had a godddamn respawn button where you could actually create a new character and no rules too which is fantastic because the best way to ruin a game is too add rules on every little thing because i'll tell you why minecraft is so popular BECAUSE THERES NO RULES NO BODY IS TELLLING YOU WHAT TO DO!
WHY DO YOU THINK GAMES LIKE ROBLOX IS SO POPULAR BECAUSE THEY HAVE GODDAMN REASONABLE RULES BUT THERE NOT TELLING YOU ON HOW YOU CANT AND CANNOT PLAY
Then he talks about Galileo??:
It is fun for me when I don't get bombarded by an admin... why do you people even loose sleep over this game all the rules it's just silly. Really I find it even quite pathetic how you have to have rules that don't even make sense and when you do roleplay the admins have to control how you roleplay you can't roleplay any situation you like like i got banned on another server because there was a clown that said that the religion that I was worshiping wasn't real and I was worshipping nar'sie I was basically a rp cultist but yet I tried to kill this clown because of what he said about my cult I was roleplaying real life situations and I told them why I attempted to kill that clown and they said "Lol why would a cultist do that no religious person does that!" but that's completely false some cults and religions murder people for different reasons and they even murder people who disobey there religion and tell them that it does not exist heck even some people who were high Christians murdered people like Galileo Galilei because he said that the earth was flat Christainallity murdered a lot of people as far as I'm concerned in the real world religions should be illegal because they cause too much chaos.
Okay yes, it is good to have some rules but why don't you have other rules like no swearing no sharing personal info the only rule that I see reasonable is the NO ERP rule.
And now a massive rant about the admins:
Hello, people of the internet.
Now you all obviously know what Space Station 13 is and what it does but first I must ask me and other people what a sandbox game is. To me and sandbox game is a type of game where you are free to do anything you desire so in games like space engineers I can make a space hotel or I can make a space torture center so I can torture myself (:P if you ever did that let me know and post a comment in the comments section because I never actually did that.) or as another good example Garry's Mod is described as a sandbox game. I all so want to know what you guys think the definition of a sandbox game is. (Post in the comment section below.)
Now looking at the title that clearly says "Admins ruin a Brilliant game" would make you automatically think just some kid trying to find a good place to rage in but no I'm not that type of person so listen up and don't say stupid shit in the comments like this "YOU MOTHER FUCKER SHITLER YOU DESERVE TO GET BANNED ADMINS ARE THE BEST NEVER COME BACK TOO SS13343333 AAAAA!!!!1"
So what do I think of ss13?
I think it's a brilliant unique game but most importantly do I think it's a simulator YES do I think it's a sandbox game.... HELL NO!
I'll tell you why I think it's not a sandbox game to now first we have to look at the definition of a sandbox game according to the internet dictionary
"A sandbox is a style of game in which minimal character limitations are placed on the gamer, allowing the gamer to roam and change a virtual world at will. In contrast to a progression-style game, a sandbox game emphasizes roaming and allows a gamer to select tasks." okay with that in mind its clearly not a sandbox game because of well ADMINS so that means that if it's a sandbox game why can't I go off and flush the clown down the disposals why can't I take the captain and lock him in a cage and give him the furry virus why can't I explore med bay then repair it and turn it into the furry med bay and convert the whole crew into furries.
What do I think of the rules too?
The rules and the way the control how you play the game are ridiculous there are only a few rules that I agree with such as no ERP or no being creepy and why don't they add certain OOC rules such as no swearing and no making fun of people who have autism.
and also add a fucking respawn button there's a reason why they exist
Do I think the game is taken too seriously
ANSWER GOD DAMMIT:
Oh god yes this game is taken too seriously.
Also please note that this is my opinion.
And I also don't want admins constantly bombarding me and attempting to ban me but also at the same time calling me a "Real life retard."
And also if an admin sees this don't go "Holy fuck you have bad grammar you real retard."
As a good example, Ark is a sandbox game.
And now he makes this wonderful post asking about starting a server:
How do I make sss13 server like you guys have just with different source code?
His last post, goodnight sweet prince:
Hey guys its the your boi master troller and to day i'm here to talk about the admins because i'm now there slave so holy shit and they TOLD ME to make an admin person song so here it goes.
"IF YOUR AN ADMIN YOU CANT FIGHT... INFACT YOU DONT EVEN HAVE BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS... BET YOU ENJOY PRIVILAGES ON A DAILY BASIS... HI MY NAME IS AN ADMIN AND WERE PRETYY FUCKING STUPID... WE DETERMINE THINGS OUR COMPANY IS DALUTED THAT YOU CAN ALL SEE FUCK ANYTHING THAT AN ADMIN ChEERS!!.. YOUR THE RACIST.. YEAH I CANT BE RACIST I'M A TROLLER YEAH I LIVE IN AFGHANISTAN YEAH I CANT BE RACISt.. -SONG END-"
SO HEY I'M HERE TO FUCK UP THE MOTHER ADMIN BECUZ THETY FUCKING BANNED MEH FUUUUUCCCKKKKK THEY BANNED ME BECUZ OF SHIT RE4ASONS SUCH AS ME BEAting up A RANDOM PERSON FOR FUN ITS FUN SO I CAN DO IT SO FUCK YOU ADMINS I HATE YOUUUUU UUUUUUU SO GET OUT OF HREE YOU MOTGHER FUCKERS NOW DIEEEEEEE EEEEEWEEREEEEEEE4EE Banging head against the wall Banging head against the wall Banging head against the wall Banging head against the wall Banging head against the wall Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! you RACIST FACIST HITLERS!!!
ALL U RACIST FACIST HITLER SHOULD GO AND KILL A BODY UUUUUUUUU FUKS FUK FUK FKU UUUUUUUUUU I'M SCREAMING SO LOUD AAAAAAAAA DIE DIE DIE MINCAFT IS BETR THAN THIS GAY BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO PERSEN TELNG U WAT 2 D0 MNCAFT WAS FAH 1ST GAY EVR MDEEEEEEEE SO FUCK U SALVES BYE MOTHER FUCKER FUCK UUUUUUUU