Difference between revisions of "Clown"

From Space Station 13 Wiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
m
(I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE HONK LIFE, THE HONK LIFE CHOSE ME)
Line 5: Line 5:
-- (Dave Louapre and Dan Swestmen, A Cotton Candy Autopsy)
-- (Dave Louapre and Dan Swestmen, A Cotton Candy Autopsy)


The '''Clown''' was previously a punishment position made to replace the [[Janitor]]. Clowns inherently have a high chance of failure or backlash when doing many things (including walking), and have especially mean failures for doing things like trying to perform surgery, wearing a security helmet, using a stun baton, and other preferred methods of grief. Like the Janitor, it turns out that giving griefers an entertainingly shitty job only encourages them, and it was made a regular job.
The unofficial mascot of Space Station 13, alongside the [[Staff Assistant]] clutching a bloody toolbox, the '''Clown''' is a figure of comedy, tragedy, grief, vengeance, and occasionally, pants-shitting terror. To put on the squeaky red shoes is to enter the long ranks of those who have honked before, ever seeking for a new way to entertain and infuriate. Are you a bad enough dude to be the job everybody loves to hate?


'''YES, CLOWNS ARE EXPECTED TO CAUSE MISCHIEF. THAT DOES NOT MEAN THEY CAN BREAK THE RULES.'''
==Disclaimers==


Shitty Clowns did nothing except stab themselves in the eyes with bananas and scalpels before tripping on their own banana peel and sailing out the airlock. Decent Clowns annoyed people enough that they got hurled into space. Good Clowns enraged everybody and never managed to get caught. Great Clown antics were so creative and entertaining that nobody had the heart to kill them.
'''BIG OL BOLD TEXT WARNING:''' Clowns are given some slack to fuck with people, but if you break the rules about outright griefing, expect to be murdered at best and yelled at or banned by admins at worst. If what you're about to do will get you somebody hating you with the seriousness of, say, a sitcom nemesis, it's probably fine, but if you're going to actually ruin someone's round, you should probably stop before you get banned. Unless, of course, you're a traitor.


Bad Clown Traitors would spawn their unique clown car, immediately drive it into a wall, fly out the windshield, and get savagely murdered. However, in sufficiently skilled hands, Clown Traitors were the stuff of nightmares. They could kill the entire station starting with nothing but a banana peel, or stuff the entire crew into a clown car and drive it into the crusher. These guys are the reason some long-time players get twitchy when they hear honks and squeaks echoing through a maintenance corridor.
'''SIMILAR WARNING:''' You don't get to kill the Clown just because he's being the Clown. Period. If he's being absolutely awful as described above, or actively trying to murder you, then go ahead and beat the shit out of him, but don't seek out and abuse the Clown for the crime of existing. Unless, of course, you're a traitor.


==BUT THEN SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENED...==
==Zen and the Art of Honking==


[[Image:alas1.jpg|252px]]
''Newbie Clowns do nothing except stab themselves in the eyes with bananas and scalpels before tripping on their own banana peel and sailing out the airlock. Bad Clowns annoy people enough that they get hurled into space. Good Clowns are either actually funny, or enrage everybody and never manage to get caught. Great Clowns are creative and entertaining enough with their japes that nobody ever has the heart to kill them.''


[[Image:alas2.jpg|252px]]
Clowns have no official responsibility, no access, and often no hope of surviving a round. That doesn't mean there aren't perks to the Honk Life, though! You start with your sweet clothes, your ID (doodled in crayon), an unpeeled banana, a bike horn, a "funny" (fanny) pack instead of a backpack, a box full of party balloons, and your unique PDA that's as slippery as a banana peel. There's an inherent downside every Clown spawns with, though - a genetic-level incompetence with all sorts of basic tasks, like "not tripping over your own feet," "holding the stun baton the right way," and "not stabbing yourself in the eyes with scalpels during surgery." A Clown that tries to fill in for a station-critical role is often in for a world of pain, but it'll often be pretty funny to watch.
 
So, with no access, and a startling inability to do anything useful without injuring themselves somehow, what's a Clown to do? Make things interesting for everybody else, that's what. You are what the common [[Staff Assistant|grayshirt]] longs to be, to the point where you'll probably have to watch out so one doesn't mug you for your costume. You can do any gimmick they can, albeit more incompetently, but any Clown that takes off their costume is a '''shameful''' Clown. In addition, you can use your bag of tricks to screw with people, make terrible puns and crack terrible jokes non-stop, see how many times you can hit the [[Captain]] with a pie before he arrests you, lay banana peels just out of sight in high-traffic areas, and more! Or, if you [s]don't want to get murdered[/s] prefer brightening the station's day, try doing some of the other jobs earnestly but in a harmlessly comically inept manner, tell good jokes, and use your own unassuming nature to save the entire station single-handedly by making the [[Nuclear Operative|operatives]] think you're harmless before you blind one with a pie long enough for the lynch mobs to arrive.
 
==A Brief History of Clowning==
 
The Clown was previously a punishment position made to replace the [[Janitor]]; the incompetence mutation was there to make it a lot harder for them to do or use things that could be easily used for griefing. Like the Janitor, it turns out that giving griefers an entertainingly shitty job only encourages them, and it was made a regular job.
 
Admin opinion on a job that had open sanction to grief as hard as it could without breaking the other rules soured once they realized that for every entertaining Clown, there were 50 shitty Clowns that either plain sucked at being entertaining or actively broke the rules, thinking the job would make them immune to reprisal. The clown car was also an extremely binary item - it was either utterly worthless or round-ending for everybody but the Clown, depending on the user. So, the job was removed, but the outfit and job items were left scattered on the station for those who still believed in the true Honk Life.
 
The Clown was resurrected (with the old inherent issues doing things, and ''without'' the sanction to ignore the rules about griefing) with the introduction of the Job of the Day system, along with many other gimmick jobs. Eventually, it was deemed time to let the Clown have his limelight again.
 
==Clown Traitors: [Honking Intensifies]==
 
There's a reason that spacemankind fears the humble, lowly Clown.
 
Clown traitors are almost the most emblematic part of Space Station 13: not only is there a dedicated staff position for some greasepaint-wearing, helium-huffing goofus, it turns out that sometimes they're out for your blood. The Clown's own incompetence can get in the way of their own traitorous schemes, and many a Clown traitor has been brought low by their own hands/squeaky feet. However, proper Clowns know what exactly has a risk associated with it, and plan accordingly.
 
Bad Clown Traitors spawn the clown car, immediately drive it into a wall, fly out the windshield, and get savagely murdered.  However, in sufficiently skilled hands, Clown Traitors are the stuff of nightmares. If a player is good enough to be a sneaky, murderous thug as the job least suited being a sneaky, murderous thug, they're probably really, '''really''' good at being a sneaky, murderous thug, and thus their victims rarely have the chance to scream for help. They can kill the entire station starting with nothing but a banana peel, or stuff the entire crew into a clown car and drive it into the crusher.
 
Clowns who take off their outfit as a sort of meta-disguise are the most dishonorable of all traitors, but there's no denying the practice can work wonders and catch even veterans off-guard. Still, there's no beating the style points from doing all your evil deeds wearing the most garish outfit on the station.
 
As an alternative to all the whole murder and terrorism thing, a Clown traitor can just use their traitor items for normal Clown business, like disguising themselves as a banana peel with the [[Syndicate Items|Chameleon Projector]], popping out of a floor closet to pie someone, pulling a derringer out of places a derringer shouldn't be able to hide...your own creativity's the limit! Just don't be surprised if you get thrown in the gibber by critics.


==Supplementary Video==
==Supplementary Video==
{{#widget:YouTube|id=QHXgdtiFRNY}}
{{#widget:YouTube|id=QHXgdtiFRNY}}
----
----
{{JobMenu}}
{{JobMenu}}
 
[[Category: Jobs]]
[[Category:Archive]]

Revision as of 23:29, 8 October 2014

Jobclown.png

What is it about clowns? They seem to be a happy enough bunch, delighted to suffer a pie-in-the-face or a seltzer-down-the-pants just to make us laugh, but what dark compulsion drives these men to hide behind their painted-on smiles and big rubber noses? What madness turns a man into a clown?

-- (Dave Louapre and Dan Swestmen, A Cotton Candy Autopsy)

The unofficial mascot of Space Station 13, alongside the Staff Assistant clutching a bloody toolbox, the Clown is a figure of comedy, tragedy, grief, vengeance, and occasionally, pants-shitting terror. To put on the squeaky red shoes is to enter the long ranks of those who have honked before, ever seeking for a new way to entertain and infuriate. Are you a bad enough dude to be the job everybody loves to hate?

Disclaimers

BIG OL BOLD TEXT WARNING: Clowns are given some slack to fuck with people, but if you break the rules about outright griefing, expect to be murdered at best and yelled at or banned by admins at worst. If what you're about to do will get you somebody hating you with the seriousness of, say, a sitcom nemesis, it's probably fine, but if you're going to actually ruin someone's round, you should probably stop before you get banned. Unless, of course, you're a traitor.

SIMILAR WARNING: You don't get to kill the Clown just because he's being the Clown. Period. If he's being absolutely awful as described above, or actively trying to murder you, then go ahead and beat the shit out of him, but don't seek out and abuse the Clown for the crime of existing. Unless, of course, you're a traitor.

Zen and the Art of Honking

Newbie Clowns do nothing except stab themselves in the eyes with bananas and scalpels before tripping on their own banana peel and sailing out the airlock. Bad Clowns annoy people enough that they get hurled into space. Good Clowns are either actually funny, or enrage everybody and never manage to get caught. Great Clowns are creative and entertaining enough with their japes that nobody ever has the heart to kill them.

Clowns have no official responsibility, no access, and often no hope of surviving a round. That doesn't mean there aren't perks to the Honk Life, though! You start with your sweet clothes, your ID (doodled in crayon), an unpeeled banana, a bike horn, a "funny" (fanny) pack instead of a backpack, a box full of party balloons, and your unique PDA that's as slippery as a banana peel. There's an inherent downside every Clown spawns with, though - a genetic-level incompetence with all sorts of basic tasks, like "not tripping over your own feet," "holding the stun baton the right way," and "not stabbing yourself in the eyes with scalpels during surgery." A Clown that tries to fill in for a station-critical role is often in for a world of pain, but it'll often be pretty funny to watch.

So, with no access, and a startling inability to do anything useful without injuring themselves somehow, what's a Clown to do? Make things interesting for everybody else, that's what. You are what the common grayshirt longs to be, to the point where you'll probably have to watch out so one doesn't mug you for your costume. You can do any gimmick they can, albeit more incompetently, but any Clown that takes off their costume is a shameful Clown. In addition, you can use your bag of tricks to screw with people, make terrible puns and crack terrible jokes non-stop, see how many times you can hit the Captain with a pie before he arrests you, lay banana peels just out of sight in high-traffic areas, and more! Or, if you [s]don't want to get murdered[/s] prefer brightening the station's day, try doing some of the other jobs earnestly but in a harmlessly comically inept manner, tell good jokes, and use your own unassuming nature to save the entire station single-handedly by making the operatives think you're harmless before you blind one with a pie long enough for the lynch mobs to arrive.

A Brief History of Clowning

The Clown was previously a punishment position made to replace the Janitor; the incompetence mutation was there to make it a lot harder for them to do or use things that could be easily used for griefing. Like the Janitor, it turns out that giving griefers an entertainingly shitty job only encourages them, and it was made a regular job.

Admin opinion on a job that had open sanction to grief as hard as it could without breaking the other rules soured once they realized that for every entertaining Clown, there were 50 shitty Clowns that either plain sucked at being entertaining or actively broke the rules, thinking the job would make them immune to reprisal. The clown car was also an extremely binary item - it was either utterly worthless or round-ending for everybody but the Clown, depending on the user. So, the job was removed, but the outfit and job items were left scattered on the station for those who still believed in the true Honk Life.

The Clown was resurrected (with the old inherent issues doing things, and without the sanction to ignore the rules about griefing) with the introduction of the Job of the Day system, along with many other gimmick jobs. Eventually, it was deemed time to let the Clown have his limelight again.

Clown Traitors: [Honking Intensifies]

There's a reason that spacemankind fears the humble, lowly Clown.

Clown traitors are almost the most emblematic part of Space Station 13: not only is there a dedicated staff position for some greasepaint-wearing, helium-huffing goofus, it turns out that sometimes they're out for your blood. The Clown's own incompetence can get in the way of their own traitorous schemes, and many a Clown traitor has been brought low by their own hands/squeaky feet. However, proper Clowns know what exactly has a risk associated with it, and plan accordingly.

Bad Clown Traitors spawn the clown car, immediately drive it into a wall, fly out the windshield, and get savagely murdered. However, in sufficiently skilled hands, Clown Traitors are the stuff of nightmares. If a player is good enough to be a sneaky, murderous thug as the job least suited being a sneaky, murderous thug, they're probably really, really good at being a sneaky, murderous thug, and thus their victims rarely have the chance to scream for help. They can kill the entire station starting with nothing but a banana peel, or stuff the entire crew into a clown car and drive it into the crusher.

Clowns who take off their outfit as a sort of meta-disguise are the most dishonorable of all traitors, but there's no denying the practice can work wonders and catch even veterans off-guard. Still, there's no beating the style points from doing all your evil deeds wearing the most garish outfit on the station.

As an alternative to all the whole murder and terrorism thing, a Clown traitor can just use their traitor items for normal Clown business, like disguising themselves as a banana peel with the Chameleon Projector, popping out of a floor closet to pie someone, pulling a derringer out of places a derringer shouldn't be able to hide...your own creativity's the limit! Just don't be surprised if you get thrown in the gibber by critics.

Supplementary Video

{{#widget:YouTube|id=QHXgdtiFRNY}}



Jobs on Space Station 13
Command &
Security
CaptainNew64.gif Captain · HeadOfSecurityV2-64x64.gif Head of Security · HeadOfPersonnelV2-64x66.png Head of Personnel · ChiefEngineer64.png Chief Engineer · ResearchDirectorV2-64x70.png Research Director · MedicalDirectorNew64.png Medical Director

TankTopSecurityOfficer.gif Security Officer · DetectiveNew64.png Detective · SecurityAssistantNew64.png Security Assistant

NanotrasenSecurityOperativeWithSuit68.gif Nanotrasen Security Consultant

Medical &
Research
MedicalDoctorNew64.gif Medical Doctor · MedicalAssistantNew.png Medical Trainee · RoboticistNew64.png Roboticist · Genetics wiki big.gif Geneticist

ScientistV3-64x64.png Scientist · ResearchAssistantNew.png Research Trainee

Engineering EngineerCoatNew64.png Engineer · TechassistantNew.png Technical Trainee

QuartermasterNew64.png Quartermaster · MinerV3-64x64.png Miner

Civilian

AssistantNew64.png Staff Assistant · JanitorNew64.png Janitor · ChaplainNew64.png Chaplain · MailmanV2-64x64.png Mail Courier · RadioHostV2-64x64.png Radio Host · MimeNew64.png Mime

Chef64new.png Chef · BartenderNew64.png Bartender · BotanistNew64.png Botanist · Rancher2.png Rancher

ClownNew64.png Clown

SousChefV2-64x64.png Gimmick jobs

Silicon AIV3-64.gif Artificial Intelligence · CyborgV3-64x64.gif Cyborg
Jobs of the Day Dungeoneer64x64.png Dungeoneer · BarberV2-64x64.png Barber · WaiterV2-64x64.png Waiter · LawyerV2-64x66.png Lawyer · TouristNew64.png Tourist · MusicianV2-64x64.png Musician · BoxerV2-64x64.png Boxer
Antagonist Roles With own mode Arcfiend64x64.PNG Arcfiend · BlobOvermind64.png Blob · AbominationAnimated64x96.gif Changeling · GangLeaderV2-64x68.png Gang Member · Featherdrone-flockmind.gif Flockmind (Featherdrone-flocktrace.gif Flocktrace) · SyndicateAssaultTrooperV3-64x64.png Nuclear Operative · SpyThiefV2-64x64.png Spy Thief · TraitorNew64.png Traitor · HeadRevolutionaryV2-64x64.png Revolutionary · VampireV2-64x64.png Vampire (VampThrallV3-64x64.png Thrall) · WizardNew64.gif Wizard
Others HardmodeTraitorNew64.png Sleeper Agent · WerewolfV2-64x68.png Werewolf · WraithV2-64x64.png Wraith (Poltergeist64.png Poltergeist) · WrestlerV2-64x64.png Wrestler · PredatorV2-64x64.png Hunter · GrinchMitch.png Grinch · KrampusSquish.gif Krampus · OmniTraitorV2-64x64.gif Gimmick antagonist roles
Special Roles Drone64x64.png Ghostdrone · MonkeyResprite64.png Monkey · SpaceMouse64.png Critter · GhostV3-64x64.png Ghost · CluwneNew64.png Cluwne · SantaClausV2-64x64.png Santa Claus