Ass Jam

This page is under construction. The following information may be incomplete. More to come regarding rules and history.

Ass Jam is a Goonstation-exclusive holiday that occurs on the 13th of every month on the main Goonstation server/Goon #2 (and only there), where all sorts of wacky and zany features are enabled and admins, mentors, and players alike can enjoy 24 hours of chaos, anarchy, and shenanigans. It started in April 2020, as a rebranding of Ass Day that focused less on rampant Grief and more on the beautifully strange and strangely beautiful quirkiness that makes Goonstation, and arguably SS13 in general, so compelling.

Ass Jam Rules

Default UICHUI

If you see when you join and can pull it up via the Ass Day Rules command, that means it's Ass Jam!

If you see when you join and can pull it up via the Ass Day Rules command, that means it's Ass Jam!

The rules may be relaxed, but that doesn't mean it's "no rules all crime is legal" like The Purge. There's still some rules in place, the Ass Jam Rules, listed below:

1. DO NOT GRIEF OR OTHERWISE SELF-ANTAG. PLAY AS NORMAL
2. No intentionally crashing the server or causing lag.
3. No bigotry.
4. No sexual stuff.
5. No creepy shit.
6. No impersonating the admins.
7. No walling off or obliterating arrivals.
8. No giving out secret recipes and the like.
9. If an admin tells you to quit doing something, quit it.
10. No you do not get an antag token.

Ass Jam Rules 1-9 are basically condensed versions of Rules 1, 2, 4, 5, 8, 9, 10, & 11, which are better explained on that page. Rules 3 & 6 (the metagaming ones) are still in effect, but relaxed; more on that later.

10 says that if you spawn as an Antagonist, have your round ruined by Admin shenanigans (far more likely than on any other day), and request an antag token, you're not going to get one. The reasoning is that by playing on Ass Jam, you understand and accept that the Admins are allowed to absolutely wreck your round up and forfeit any right to be compensated for said round-up-wreckening. Besides, you don't really need to ask for tokens; getting an Antagonist role Ass Jam doesn't affect your chances of getting Antagonist on other days.

Where and when do they apply?

General rule is, if you can pull up the Ass Jam Rules via the Ass Day Rules command, it's Ass Jam, and those rules apply.

Ass Jam begins at the 13th of midnight EST (UTC-05) / EDT(UTC-04). It occurs only on the main Goonstation server. The other servers, Goonstation Roleplay and the backup servers, don't have Ass Jam, so they don't have Ass Jam Rules.

Furthermore, strictly speaking, the special Ass Jam rules apply only to rounds that begin on Ass Jam. For example, if a round begins on 11:50 PM on the 12th and continues past midnight, it's still a normal round, and Ass Jam Rules don't apply. Similarly, if a round that begins on Ass Jam continues into the 14th, it's still an Ass Jam round, and Ass Jam rules do still apply.

Ass Jam Exclusive Content

This is where the magic happens. The real meat of Ass Jam is all the experimental maps, game modes, weapons, and other features that may be too powerful, buggy, laggy, unbalanced, or otherwise too crazy for normal days are enabled. There's content from the coder team and regular community members alike, and it includes things like:

Maps, New & Old

• Donut Station 2, Mushroom Station, Linemap and Samedi return as Map Vote options! These have barely/not at been updated, so choose them at your own peril!
• Trunkmap/Devstation/Ovary Station makes a triumphant return, renovated for the modern farty spaceperson!
• You can vote for 1pamgoC, a reversed version of Cogmap1, directly from the Map Vote, instead of having to pour reversium on the Map Vote button.
• Some community-made maps enter rotation. This time around:
  • Density: A ridiculously tiny map that's shaped like a bad idea. Must have 30 people or less on the server at time of Map Vote to be available.
  • Fleet/Bellerophon: A series of tiny ships each with their own department, loosely linked by pipes.
  • Icarus: Triangular ship with a singularity too close to the crew.
  • Wrestlemap: An ring-shaped station with many different wrestling/boxing arenas, and "fake" wrestling belts that give you harmless versions of the Wrestler abilities.

Antagonist Changes

• Everyone-Is-A-Traitor Mode, also known as "Ass Day Classic", is a possible game mode in secret. Essentially, everyone is an antagonist! And during preround, you can vote to have it be game mode for the next round!
• The sleeper agents event makes everyone a sleeper...sort of.
• Wizards get a Timestop spell that causes everyone and everything around them, including projectiles, to stop for a while. It has a cooldown of 45 seconds, requires a short delay for casting, and if it's cast without a staff, the wizard might get frozen too!
• Nuclear Operatives sometimes have deploy the bomb at a randomly-picked station location, rather than just a set list of mildly important rooms. Sometimes, it might be off-station, including places in the Adventure Zone. Pool bomb site makes a return!
• There are also a lot more operatives relative to the number of crew. Expect 1 operative for every 3 crew members, with a maximum of 30 ops.

Weapon Changes

• Zipguns are no more. Instead, there are slamguns, made by combining a pipe frame (made by clicking on metal sheets while they're in your hand and choosing Pipe Frame) with another pipe frame that's been smoothed out by a welder. They accept only shotgun munitions, and after each shot, you must click on it while it's in your hand to manually eject the casing.
• To go along with slam guns is nailshot, which can be made at a general fab that's been hacked. Nails fire as a spray of projectiles that devastate organs and cause lots of bleeding but have trouble with armored targets.
• The Head of Security gets a cannon that fires secbots that pursue the victims they hit and a NARCS turret that fires rubber bullets at people who don't have golden IDs or ID cards with red or green bands.
• Traitors can order a crab gun that turns people into crabs--if they're stunned. It's self recharging and can shoot three shots from each full charge. Two shots are usually enough to stun, so the third shot can crab them if they all land.
• Podseeker shells can gib people.

Job & Spawning Changes

• Sometimes, it's possible to latejoin as a special job that's normally only available if it's admin-enabled. You might get an option to join as a Cowboy or a Syndicate operative!
• You can spawn with any item for your heirloom. Any item. Guns, bombs, you name it, it could be your trinket, aside from a special few.
• The AI gets a hat. Nifty. Sometimes, it also gets legs. Don't ask.
• There's a 25% chance for everyone to spawn with randomly-chosen mutation, includes ones that are exceedingly rare and ones that are only accessible to admins.
• The Head of Security no longer has a whitelist, meaning anyone can join. They can also change their name at spawn and are a "priority job", like with AI and Captain, meaning the game tries to always make someone a HoS.
• Captain has 5% chance to spawn as Tommy Wiseau.

Respawn Arena

• If you die and become a Ghost, you get a Fight for a new life ability.
• This ability'll spawn in a hellish arena that contains a few weapons and lots of lava.
• In this arena is a special butt named "The Divine Relic of Ass Day" (exact spelling of "Ass Day" can vary). If the butt remains in your possession for 30 seconds (you can still move, fight, etc. during this time), you'll be sent back to the main lobby, ready to rejoin the round.
• Beware, there can be other players in the arena, and they can fight you for the chance to hold dat fukken butt.

Miscellaneous

• Some NPC humans may explode.
• Toilets can also affect time.
• Designer drug pills (those pills you find in pill bottles labeled "pill bottle (???)") can contain any chemicals, not just a hand-picked selected of drugs and other weird chems. There literally could be anything in them.
• There's a Locker Entanglement event that can cause lockers to basically act like two-way people transporters.
• There's another that causes part of the station to suddenly flood with a random reagent.
• Rarely, crates ordered by cargo may enter accompanied by a heavenly light and a choir of angels.
• Everyone can *dab! It's not bound to any particular hotkey, so you'll have to enter say "*dab into the text parser near the bottom of the screen or press T and put in *dab if you have WASD mode on. You are still not protected from the more harmful effects of dabbing though.
• Your space bees can sometimes look a little...different.
• OOC is always on. As a reminder, the hotkey for it is O. If all those fail, you should still be able to use the ooc command, either through the Commands tab or the text parser at the bottom of the screen.
• There's a special Spacebux bonus for playing on Ass Jam.
• Cheese does something extra when heated.
• Mr. Rathen the monkey becomes immortal.
• Throwing items has a rare chance to make you scream "YEET!". Normally, it's makes harmless explosion that's really just a visual effect, but on Ass Jam, it's an actual explosion!
• It's possible to grow "sickly pears", which can give you disease that causes a terrible fever. If you don't administer ice in time, your arms turn into "hot hands" that melt items and can sometimes burn people.
• Geoff Honkington, the merchant in the Clown's personal quarters, sells shoes that fart and scream with each step.

Contributing to Ass Jam Features

Want to add a feature for Ass Jam? It's easy. Just take a look at this Google Doc for details on formatting your code for Ass Jam shenanigans or read this this comment snippet for a shorter guide. If you don't know how to code or use Github, but still want to contribute, check out the Goonstation Development Guidelines and this wiki's Coding guide.

We ask that you 1) try to add code, rather than change existing code, 2) leave a comment explaining the Ass Jam code 3) follow the server rules, and mostly importantly 4) make sure your code compiles, both with Ass Jam define off and with it on. Depending on how good your features are, it might even be incorporated into the full game, to be enjoyed all 28/29/30/31 days of the month, not just one.

---