User:Lefinch/WAGES

Okay What is this?

A list of what everyone gets paid at time of current update (24/04/2025). This does not include less common or gimmick/job of the week jobs. Why not? The allure of mystery/Do you have any idea how many gimmick jobs we have? Does everyone get paid in bands and this could be a lot shorter? Yes, but then I can't write funny notes for each of them. Should you join a union? YES

Caption text

Job	Normal wages	Unionised trait	Notes
Captain	2400	3600	The big cheese gets the biggest slice. Or maybe it's an apology for the uniform...
Head of Personnel	1200	1800	Note: also has control over the wages. I'm sure this'll be fine.
Head of Security	1200	1800	9/10 HoS when asked state their wage as: Not enough for this.
Chief Engineer	1200	1800	It's rumoured at least 60% of this gets spent on polish for Rocko
Research Director	1200	1800	Not bad for someone who has a fake degree.
Medical Director	1200	1800	Who had two thumbs and a decent pension? This guy.
Security Officer	300	450	Doesn't stretch far once you factor in chipping in to the donut fund & Baton wax.
Security Assistant	150	225	The thin red line: This poor guy's monthly statement.
Detective	300	450	Do you think more of this goes on the funny hat or the booze?
Scientist	600	900	Inevitably garnished when an artifact blows a hole in the station.
Research Trainee	150	225	At least there's no ridiculous ties.
Medical Doctor	600	900	Financially health is a kind of health too.
Geneticist	600	900	Why are we paying a guy who can turn things into gold with a touch again?
Roboticist	600	900	Geppetto didn't make nearly as much money.
Medical Trainee	150	225	Like the first season of Scrubs, but with a 90% casualty rate! So er, like M*A*S*H. What do you mean "What the hell is mash"? Put your mask on, Radar.
Engineer	300	450	Inevitably garnished when the singulo collapses and eats the station.
Technical Trainee	150	225	Technically a wage.
Quartermaster	300	450	More like seed capital for their inevitable runaway import/export empire 99% of the time.
Miner	300	450	Not inevitably garnished because their mistakes tend to be incredibly fatal. Fun!
Chef	150	225	One explanation for why you're eating ice, ice, ice, ice meth, ice soup for dinner.
Bartender	150	225	Never ask a Borg their laws, A Clown their best joke, or a Bartender their wage. I mean they've got a gun.
Botanist	300	450	Surprisingly not 420.
Rancher	300	450	A humble nest egg.
Janitor	300	450	Enough for clean living.
Chaplain	150	225	Faith provides. Hopefully.
Staff Assistant	150	225	COST BENEFIT ANALYSTS HATE THEM!!! This Staff Assistant discovered one WEIRD trick to get paid to do whatever the hell they want!
Mail Courier	300	450	Neither rain, snow, or lack of space-dental shall stay this postie about their work.
Clown	1	Still 1	Fun clown facts: This is literally defined as "PAY_DUMBCLOWN" in the code, and yes, their union is just that bad.
mime	2	3	:o) <<<<<< : )