User:Lefinch
Full Bohrum Jacket
Issue #14 Pt.1: Sunday Salvage Surprises!
Disclaimer & Foreword
Originally published in Discount Dan's Digest, a short-lived e-zine, various lawsuits have prompted us to disclaim that the following document is not to be considered legal advice from firearms experts. Any information within may be inaccurate, poorly sourced, or just plain wrong.
Cast:
Natasha Williams Is a former security consultant for companies she can't disclose for NDA concerns. She enjoys range shooting, crochet and amateur corporate history.
"Bob" Assures us most of his warrants have expired. Appearing in issue #2 as a travelling merchant selling rusty AKMs, Bob's no-nonsense attitude and curious experience being shot at by most firearms on the frontier have made him a mainstay for the series.
Welcome back folks. We had a great time last month at the Hemera auction selloff! Bob's still walking off the bruises from test-firing the Alastor-pattern rifle. This week, we took a trip to a little location in the frontier wholly legitimate salvage teams sell their "post-organic expiry salvage" to take a look at their most recent ~~hei~~products.
The angriest little night-light you'll see
Semi-automatic, pulsed-phased laser bolt.
Most likely in the hands of: The unfortunate
What should you do?: Try not to laugh.
Natasha: Well, I'll be honest I think the salvagers picked these up by mistake. I thought carbon-arc was a joke, given the technology for carbon-arc lamps is older than the second industrial revolution but here we are. Combined with a welterweight CO2 mixture I assume distilled from flat soda and we have a weapon capable of giving you a highly localized suntan. At least the diminutive power draw means you'll get ten shots instead of a industry standard 8 for energy guns. Your target isn't likely to flinch for the first two or three either.
Bob: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Enough said.
The short, sharp shock of the law
Semi-automatic, high-voltage encapsulated discharge.
Most likely in the hands of: Patrolling corporate security
What should you do?: Serpentine and laugh.
Natasha: Five points makes a point, so to speak, of breaking the chains of "less-than-lethal" with their range (stunning literally, perhaps rather than in marketing terms) of subduing firearms. the Mk.1 is what ends up being the newer e-gun chassis fitted out with a buck converter and tiny barrel instead of the later design's laser/taser combination. The converter ramps up the rechargeable cell's voltage, and the barrel discharges into a tiny solid pellet of steel shot towards the target. The result? A handheld source of ball-lightning that on contact with a person, discharges with no harm but a nasty shock. Sounds great, but the reality is a relatively slow projectile. A few hits will put you down for the count, so just don't get hit, dummy.
Bob: Non-lethal, Less-Than-Stellar. Just don't be out of breath when the Man points this at you.
Mod. 93R
Three shots, hot, but no bullseyes
Three-round burst, Laser
Most likely in the hands of: The Welsh
What should you do?: Probably just pay the protection money, or hope the thing burns their hands.
Natasha: Blood and Iron, or er, Coal and Laser in this case, is Hafgan's early attempt to diversify their industrial portfolio with another safe, unending thing to sell: Firearms. Two things tell you it's from an older generation that still comes into work but should probably retire sooner rather than later: Its design clearly inspiring other energy gun designs, and cumbersome disposable cell magazines pre-loaded with liquid coolant. Thank god it's burst-fire so at least one of your shots will be on target.
Bob: Natasha just doesn't appreciate a classic. Sure it might be an energy weapon cosplaying as a kinetic, but that wide trigger guard? The searing ozone tang of coolant being ejected from the slide? Damn you look cool firing this hot tomato. Trust me, there's dumber laser guns to be holding out there...
Issue #14 Pt.2: Sunday Salvage Surprises!
Please see Pt.1 for foreword & Legal disclaimer
Mod.28 Laser gun
Look like a fool, shoot like a fiend
Semi-automatic, laser
Most likely in the hands of: Anyone, this thing turns up in the most surprising of places.
What should you do?: Hide behind something thick, then laugh at them.
Natasha: I'll leave bob for the disparaging remarks about the aesthetics and focus on the fact that just putting a large CO2 gain chamber, no-frills pump and robust frame means this thing does a reasonable job.It's a little big for a pistol grip and no trigger guard is an accident waiting to happen, but for a poorly restricted weapon that turns up everywhere on the frontier you can do far worse.
Bob: Man I love spicy siracha ketchup guns. At least you could hide it in a kitchen and pretend it's for hotdogs or something. Eesh.
Mod.00 Custom gun
Jesus what are they paying these captains?
Customizable (this one shot two phased bolts simultaneously)
Most likely in the hands of: Apparently, bored command staff at Nanotrasen
What should you do?: Hope they're not bored
Natasha: So honestly the Salvagers who uh, "legally" reclaimed this came with a curious story. While doing what they call a "Standard forced naval salvage repurposing of semi-abandoned corporate assets" a rather angry station captain was ranting and ranting on the radio. Just as they're about to leave a guy wearing a green barrel pops around a corner and puts a hole right through the stomach of their friend. This was what they took off his corpse.
On the face of it, this is just an awful addition to Super! Friend's catalogue of safety violations, a kit pistol designed to be assembled by weapons enthusiasts. However, while the plastic frame, cheap LEDs might make you assume it's a toy, someone fitted a custom charge coil, polished diamond lens and some kind of power cell made out of the funky volatile radioactives you get out here but not at home. The result? 20,000 credits of pain wrapped in 5 credits of tacky packaging.
Bob: The only Super! Friend product that kills people intentionally. Nice.
Pulse Rifle
Fancy schmancy
Dual-mode, Kinetic electric pulse or Electromagnetic pulse
We're actually not sure, probably NT-in-house or Five Points Armory
Most likely of the hands of: A dusty armory rack or angry security team. What should you do?: How about what did you do?
Natasha: So this thing is new to us. You don't see it on the...open market so to speak and it's got a lot of fiddling stuff going on: Integrated cell and proprietary charging rack (It charges just fine from a normal recharger so this feels like boondoggle spending), two vastly different (but in effect similar) firing modes, the sleeker, shielded gain housing. It sure looks nice.
So this thing is theoretically for subduing people but unlike a taser hits like a dump truck. Play people bowling! The other setting seems to degauss the rusty market's aged status displays and cause the runner's heavies to get a headache, so we'll assume some kind of electromagnetic function. My guess? NT doesn't quite trust its silicon workers as much as they say.
Bob: So I heard from a guy who stowed away on a cartographers station that these things aren't seen much because they live in an awkward place in NT security doctrine: They're only accessible when they've opened their high-risk equipment armory, and by the time they've done that, whatever they want to shoot requires a more lethal response. Shame really, I'd be bouncing people out of airlocks with this all day.
Issue #14 Pt.3: Sunday Salvage Surprises!
Please see Pt.1 for foreword & Legal disclaimer
A bolt from the blue
Singlefire, Commonly a radioactive payload
Most likely in the hands of: if you know, they've done a very bad job.
What should you do?: Demonstrate the folly of the above by shooting them. Loudly and repeatedly.
Natasha: We've had this debate before so I'll skip past Bob's obsession with loud equals deadly and instead point out this weapon's silence (The brief glow of the speedy bolt the only hint of its use) is a product of an ionic exchange of energy between the bowstring and nock of the bolt: a rapid, explosionless discharge both sends the shot speeding along and empties out the cell. Expect a wait of a minute before the "Chinese Space Magic" microSMES has enough charge for another shot.
As for lethality? Unfortunately the seller took umbrage at Bob's comments judging by the fact that the adjacent telephone salesman was vomiting out their liver two minutes into the demo we can assume the standard radioactive dose can't be walked off. Apparently comes with a couple of other payloads, terrifying.
Bob: Who the heck sells telephones these days?
Walk softly and carry a boomstick
Dual Semi-automatic, high-voltage encapsulated discharge slug or tri-shot spread.
Most likely in the hands of: Corporate security who don't feel like writing tickets with a free hand.
What should you do?: Stand or move at a respectful distance. Slugs are just bigger tasers, spreads are drunk and should go home.
Natasha: A brief biography of Col. "Mild Bill" would fill this issue so I'll just say it's no real surprise a man who worked from corrections to a motorcycle club would put a "shotgun" spin on the Mk.1. It's a trade between losing a spare hand to give you a weapon built for heavy or CQB suppression. Two slugs will put the average man on the floor, if they hit. A spread will put most people down, if they don't miss.
Bob: Flick to slug and slam a syndie, switch to spread and sweep a squad. Wait I wonder if I can trademark that? Actually forget it, I heard what Bill used to do on Mars. I aint that dumb.
Cornicen III
NO IMAGE
You're now on a watchlist for just reading this!
Two fire modes? Both are bad news?
Manufacturer suspected as NT Special R&D
Most likely in the hands of: Either the guys who will kill you, or the guys coming to kill what's killing you.
What should you do?: Let us know, we'd love to know what you're supposed to do.
Natasha: So yeah, I'd love to pretend we actually got to handle this gun but it turns out prying a working copy from the dead hands of corporate special operatives requires they be dead, and while the man selling this gear looks like he might have crank for cereal he's not an idiot. But I can tell you some cobbled together stuff: It's definitely part of some weapons program either commissioned or done by Nanotrasen, see our other issues for the other numbered variants. This one apparently is a rifle that absolutely fills a room with pulsed plasma shot, both are very lethal, and even better it recharges.
Bob: I heard the spec ops who use this shoot lasers out of their eyes! I saw one once float through a wall! They graft wizard arms on to cast bullet spells! Or maybe I've just been sharing the merchant's crank.
On our demo model, someone labeled it "Reel mining two'l"
Charged single-fire
Most likely in the hands of: Miners, apparently. We can't print the words the salvagers used to describe them but they insisted we put miners. What should you do?: Run to the LEFT or RIGHT, not AWAY.
Natasha: Okay, I think I get it now. Radnor Photonics actually have made an insectoid energy weapon. If the RP-3 is the egg stage and the 4's larval, this is the big ugly butterfly. Apparently the heat exchange on contact is so rapid it causes bodies and structures to explode from the shock sometimes. I assume you have to shoot dead people with it because the capacitor takes two seconds or so to climb up to discharge. Still, it's extremely grey use as an industrial tool lets it show up in pod-cargo sales and smuggler 'roid caches where you couldn't sell an assault rifle.
Bob: The way you can tell that someone's charging up a shot with this is they're smiling. I'd be smiling too.
Full Bohrum Jacket
Issue #19 If two weapons fans were on a moon and one shot the other would that be messed up or what
Disclaimer & Foreword
Originally published in Discount Dan's Digest, a short-lived e-zine, various lawsuits have prompted us to disclaim that the following document is not to be considered legal advice from firearms experts. Any information within may be inaccurate, poorly sourced, or just plain wrong.
Cast:
Natasha Williams Is a former security consultant for companies she can't disclose for NDA concerns. She enjoys range shooting, crochet and amateur corporate history.
"Bob" Assures us most of his warrants have expired. Appearing in issue #2 as a traveling merchant selling rusty AKMs, Bob's no-nonsense attitude and curious experience being shot at by most firearms on the frontier have made him a mainstay for the series.
So we're writing this on the basis that we'll ever get back. You see We happened to hitchhike on a ship allegedly using the old Io conduit point. A short cryo trip and rude awakening later it turns out we're now on some kind of desert moon full of scorpions, religious fanatics and sad robots. Long story. Anyway if this is our final issue you know why, also I'm writing most of it because little did you know, dear reader, that your beloved Bob is the survival expert! Plus Natasha has a tiny concussion but I'll write down whatever she says. Don't sweat it.
The Law hates him! Try this one weird trick!
Single shot, whatever you can fit! shield face before firing.
Made by Bob Industries Est. Thirty minutes ago.
Most likely in the hands of: Me! Also anyone desperate enough.
What should you do?:Hope it doesn't break.
Natasha: [Was sleeping for this bit, I got a bandage on her head it's fine.]
Bob: Ah the Zip gun, lovingly named after one man's humble dream: to provide mankind with a handheld spear at the lowest price point no matter the cost of anything else. Cobble some metal, something stapley, and something with a nice handle and trigger like a welder and bam, you got a gun. Sure it'll probably explode if you put anything in it bigger than a .22. sure, it has the fire rate of a musket. sure, I feel marginally more in danger now than when I had nothing, but Bob's naked without a gun.
Lock, stock and one smoking barrel
Just one shot, anything you can fit in a tube to smoke that weirdo with a sword
Proudly made by Bob Industries Est. 50 minutes ago.
Most likely in the hands of: Sad men without a real shotgun, like me. Salvage teams in a bear market.
What should you do?: Wait until I miss and sting me in the damn leg so I had to beat you to death with a tube.
Natasha: Bob for Christ's sake you can't just put rocks in pipeshot you'll blow off your hands! Natasha is clearly delirious.
Bob: The humble Saturday night special, the slamgun. If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands and then hope you hit whatever you were pointing at. Literally just two tubes and whatever you can load in a tiny pipe. Glass, rocks, better sharper glass, salt, bones? Bones maybe. I'm so sad, I really hope I find an actual weapon soon.
Ha ha ha ha ha
All the settings you want, but why would you ever pick anything but full auto?
Bob industries in association with Prometheus, Est. don't care cooking our dinner now.
Most likely in the hands of: Anyone who can solve a block puzzle and likes fire.
What should you do?: (Don't be like Icarus) I might be concussed but even I know a flamethrower is only as good as its contents and lack of insulative gear. Douse them or wear layers! - Natasha
Natasha: [Natasha was too busy digging for something in the crash] Bob: The flamethrower, the secret of the Byzantines, the horror of many wars. Listen some of you are all about your groupings, you decry collateral damage and I hear that but I ask you: Have you never just wanted to cover a room and anyone in it while screaming laughter? I have, that might be the scorpion venom. Oh and it's not fussy, anything that can be thrown out the other end will go out, fuel, oil, lube, you name it.
Venerable ancestor of gun
Single shot, anything you want as long as it's pointy. anything.
Bob & Natasha (sorry equal partnership now) Industries, Est. This afternoon.
Most likely in the hands of: Anyone who can get a general nano-fabricator working.
What should you do?: Bows take time to draw and are going to be a little inherently difficult to aim. Either get up close and smack it out of their hands, or get away and wait for them run out.
Natasha: Now I've actually had some medication and the emergency nanofabricator going, we'll discuss the bow. Good news, it's simple to make and relatively simple to use if you have a functional arm. Good news is the arrowheads are customizable. While our resources are limited here we've heard tales of industrious fletchers using explosive materials, even one story of someone using star stones to somehow magically imbue arrows with chemicals that explode when exposed to light. Or maybe I am concussed.
Bob: Not that it matters here, but bows are very old fashioned, so old fashioned most security scanning systems don't see them as a real weapon.
We're going home now
It's a flare gun, I think everyone makes flare guns
Most likely in the hands of: People who need to be rescued.
What should you do?: Not listen to Bob.
Natasha: [Too busy trying to get rescued by wasting a flare by shooting it skyward]
Bob: The flare gun! It's cheap plastic and a little cardboard shell. You know I tried to light a cigar with one once. Don't do that, the flare burns a fair bit for anyone it actually hits. It's got the same gauge as the slamgun though...I wonder...
FULL BOHRUM JACKET
Issue #15: Sneak peek at the gun Expo
Disclaimer & Foreword
Originally published in Discount Dan's Digest, a short-lived e-zine, various lawsuits have prompted us to disclaim that the following document is not to be considered legal advice from firearms experts. Any information within may be inaccurate, poorly sourced, or just plain wrong.
Cast:
Natasha Williams Is a former security consultant for companies she can't disclose for NDA concerns. She enjoys range shooting, crochet and amateur corporate history.
"Bob" Assures us most of his warrants have expired. Appearing in issue #2 as a traveling merchant selling rusty AKMs, Bob's no-nonsense attitude and curious experience being shot at by most firearms on the frontier have made him a mainstay for the series.
Hi everyone, we managed to buy an expired NTSC ID and wiggle our way onto the trade floor to take a look at some guns. We can't discuss some of them without likely revealing who we were and getting into a teeny bit of trouble, so we'll leak it over subsequent issues. Blame Bob for needing to personally test everything. In the mean time, one new gun and some oldies but goodies.
E-Gun
Five Point's Sharpest new tip
Dual mode, semi-automatic transformed electrical or laser bolt.
Most likely in the hands of: People who scored the lowest at Seneca Falls Staffing Solutions's screening tests and ended up as a Captain.
What should you do?: Not underestimate someone with a powerful gun and poor trigger discipline.
Natasha: The Egun's relatively new on the scene and breaks from Five Points usual non-lethal philosophy with a potentially (and very) lethal option. In lieu of the Taser Mk.1's capacitor an expensive miniaturized laser-to-light-to-electricity circuit board handles much like a tiny PTL: Converting sparks from the cell into laser power for a powerful searing burn or back into a high-voltage PTL beam in miniature that fries synapses. Seems like a lot of work where most people would just carry two different guns but when you earn Command money I suppose you get the finer things in life.
Bob: Rumour has it Natasha retired before these were out. I wonder how long ago she was working corporate security? I hear security command has something really special now.
Entirely adequate, surprisingly deep
Most likely in the hands of: From corporate security to anyone who can afford it.
What should you do?: While it can throw a lot of fire down-field, it also barely hits harder than its baby brother the RP-3. Dodge, deflect, dive for cover.
Natasha: The less-awkward middle child of Radnor's phaser range: Still nice and portable like the RP-3, hits hard enough to actually be considered a weapon like the RP-5. The office worker of energy weapons. No complicated settings, no risks just point and shoot.
Bob: Boooooooooooooooooooooriiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnng. Often gets left in cupboards for less interesting even if worse weapons. Still, stings like hell to get hit with.
"Faith"
Charity drives must be getting harder than we thought
It reminds me of a Beretta bobcat.
Most likely in the hands of: Apparently, your local Chaplain
What should you do?: Attend that sermon, or rely on the average firearms experience of a man of the cloth.
Natasha: We thought we'd bring you a fun one to wrap up this issue. We got to drinking at a local derelict hotel and diner with some off-duty NT staff members. You know how it is, someone has one too many Space Cuba Libres and suddenly the humble man is pulling the most adorable .22 pocket pistol I've seen out of his tome. I was going to laugh but he proceeded to drop four rounds straight into a crewmember before screaming something about numbers. Dropped the pistol, ran off. I'm keeping it.
Bob: At least we know they have more than a prayer now.
FULL BOHRUM JACKET
Issue #20: Cloak, Dagger, and Gosh Darnit
Disclaimer & Foreword
Originally published in Discount Dan's Digest, a short-lived e-zine, various lawsuits have prompted us to disclaim that the following document is not to be considered legal advice from firearms experts. Any information within may be inaccurate, poorly sourced, or just plain wrong.
Cast:
Natasha Williams Is a former security consultant for companies she can't disclose for NDA concerns. She enjoys range shooting, crochet and amateur corporate history.
"Bob" Assures us most of his warrants have expired. Appearing in issue #2 as a traveling merchant selling rusty AKMs, Bob's no-nonsense attitude and curious experience being shot at by most firearms on the frontier have made him a mainstay for the series.
So this week we've been on the trail of some of the more obscure firearms. You know, those ones the ones that have a gun-shaped hole in your collection. Maybe even the ones you didn't even know were a hole. To our loyal dozens of readers we apologize for giving you envy for some hot new items you didn't even know about.
Conspiciously inconspicuous
Semi automatic, .22 Hollow Point
Most likely in the hands of: a masked, silent stranger.
What should you do?: Wear a vest if you have it. Get behind something if you don't.
Natasha: I've actually got a reclaimed Orion at home. The slim, rounded frame and integrated suppressor and flash make it a nice quiet target-shooter and concealable carry. Too big to stash in a shirt. Gone are the days of having to replace wipes and baffles, the viscerite/synthrubber discs keep their shape for the service life of this little number even before you remember. Shoots relatively straight. Trouble is the pistol's infamous in the security circuit for these exact reasons. Set off the scanners as badly as a Branwen and nobody believes you're just using it for target practice.
Bob: So here's the paradox, it's quiet but in space everyone can hear your bolt cycling and slide racking back. That little "click clack" is quiet sure, but it's very distinct. Fire this next door to an officer and their little ears will perk, and they'll know you're not just practicing. Specter need to make sure their Orion 2 has a locked slide.
Pug-nosed, punchy little Piper
Double action, .38 specials.
Most likely in the hands of: Private eyes and DCIs
What should you do?: Fringe parasecurity is a mixed bag: They don't want to lose their gun to you or their more official superiors, but they also really like solving cases. Work out which one they are, disarm the former for their hesitation, wait for the latter to get fired.
Natasha: Perhaps the most banal of Cormorant's offerings, the "Piper" has its fans. Seen by many as an inferior round planetside, .38 in a space setting hits just right and with enough velocity to avoid unexpected ricochet or depressurization. You're more likely to see stun-rounds than the real deal out of this.
Bob: I've been shot up far too many times by the stun rounds. They're no joke. It might be one of the stubbiest revolvers you can find out this far but that just means its easier to palm out of a pocket. No fancy DNA locks on this one.
Optio I
IMAGE MISSING
Number 1 of the Famous Five
Dual mode, "Needle Bolt" or "Pencil Beam"
We're still not sure, theories below
Most likely in the hands of: We really don't want to know.
What should you do?: Before you die, write in to our dedicated longcast PDA channel group FBJ1-Hollowheads to give us as much detail as possible.
Natasha: Bob and I have on our journeys with you been looking for what I call the "Famous Five" and Bob uses words we can't print here. I've said my theories on these being part of a set of black-project R&D designs. This particular iteration is alleged to be an energy pistol with an exotic, tunneling hardlight projectile. A very, very angry flashlight. One report says it cut through a set of Industrial Mk.1 suit like butter. I don't doubt it.
Bob: My theory? NT and Five point like corny themed weaponry using a numeric naming system. Five point mostly likes to tout its non-lethal market. This reeks of a well-funded little side project to keep up with the frontier arms race. Or just John Nanotransen Got Too Much Money Not Enough Sense.
Full Bohrum Jacket
Issue #6: Duck Hunt
Disclaimer & Foreword
Originally published in Discount Dan's Digest, a short-lived e-zine, various lawsuits have prompted us to disclaim that the following document is not to be considered legal advice from firearms experts. Any information within may be inaccurate, poorly sourced, or just plain wrong.
Cast:
Natasha Williams Is a former security consultant for companies she can't disclose for NDA concerns. She enjoys range shooting, crochet and amateur corporate history.
"Bob" Assures us most of his warrants have expired. Appearing in issue #2 as a traveling merchant selling rusty AKMs, Bob's no-nonsense attitude and curious experience being shot at by most firearms on the frontier have made him a mainstay for the series.
After last's issue's deal went off with only a few hitches, Bob's promised me a novel experience: Duck hunting in space. I was put off by the concept until Bob told me the "Ducks" were semi-autonomous Von-Neumann drones left over from the couple dozen conflicts of the debris wars. While we are plinking plasteel with probe pirates, let's talk about shotguns.
Sawn off, side-by-side "Bart-ender special
Why it pays to tip
Double action, Various gauges
Made by pretty much anyone who made a hunting shotgun in the last 200 years.
Most likely in the hands of: Dive bar owners
What should you do?: Pay for your tab
Natasha: Honestly what can I say that most readers aren't going to know or Bob hasn't experienced first hand? It's a hunting shotgun either deliberately or haphazardly cut down for concealment and ease of use. Due to the adaptive rifling common to shotgun models and refurbishments you find out here this thing will commonly pack rubber slugs but can shoot looser shot just fine. Break-action, so not really built for combat as much as a decisive double dismissal of ruder customers.
Bob: Natasha's underplaying it. You can pretty much put anything that'll fit in a shell down these. Bartender's have a lot of weird stuff behind their bars and they're all crazy. I'm still picking bits of salt out of my skull, like I'm a salt-rimmed martini.
Wind'em up, Stick'em up
Semi-automatic, various loads (Commonly birdshot)
We're pretty sure this is a Cormorant Precision Arms being "inspired" to remake a frankly awful shotgun from the 1990s.
Most likely in the hands of: Thugs
What should you do?: Stand about a standard hallway's distance away and brush off pebbles that manage to dust you.
Natasha: This one's going to be biased, sorry. I know the Striker's got its fans, it's surprisingly easy to obtain if you have underground connections, it'll take a variety of loads, and semi-automatic birdshot in handshaking distance is a complete disaster. Its large pre-wound drum both adds an intimidating profile and ease of use. But it's a pain in the neck to reload and most real threats aren't going to walk up to you without body armor. It's a paper tiger.
_Bob:_ Natasha's Security brained, as if we're all walking around in riot suits all day. If some jerk comes up to you waving this around you know they're stupid enough to kill you with it for stupider reasons, like "looking at me, punk" It might not be the best shotgun out there, but it's one that's likely to shoot you if you get what I mean. Don't blame the breed, blame the owner.
No, not that word
Double action, potentially quadruple shot, various loads.
Alan Smithee, no seriously no gunsmith is stupid enough to claim this.
Most likely in the hands of: People who wanted to be Engineers but couldn't pass the psychological screening.
What should you do?: Assume anyone who has a four-barreled shotgun is also hardly going to just use one barrel at a time. Wait for them to break their shoulder then bludgeon them with their own weapon.
Natasha: Jesus christ. Okay. Well, it's slamgun twins that have a crudely arc-welded second set of twins on top for a Trapp family horrorshow. Instead of break action, the barrels have been mounted on a worm gear you yank out via the front slam handle. That might be the sole good design choice because it makes reloading relatively quick. To give you a sense of how rickety this thing is, fire selection is handled with a screwdriver (not provided) For anyone stupid enough to use it: the human body is not designed to take the recoil of four 12ga rounds. That's about 50-60 foot pounds of recoil, or double an elephant rifle. I want you to imagine what happens to a shoulder that has a child compressed into the size of a buttstock fired into it. Just Don't.
Bob: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA HELL YEAH. WHY THE HECK DOES THIS THING EVEN -HAVE- SETTINGS?
Space People Extremely Swiftly
Semi automatic, theoretically can be loaded with various loads, seems to end up with AEX in it no matter what.
Due to various legal disputes about IP we can't even tell you who made it.
Most likely in the hands of: Your current biggest problem.
What should you do?: Most users can't resist putting explosives slugs in. The Spes' in general only shoot -sort- of straight. Don't take cover, just run.
Natasha: A "sporting" shotgun that's fooling nobody. It looks heavier than it is, perfectly usable with a single hand while still being a foreboding presence in a firefight. very illegal on any more civilized colony or station, so this thing is almost always in the hands of professional agent provocateurs. If you see someone holding it, it's best to assume they're not your friend.
Bob: Rumour has it anyone who works out how to use the stock will instantly ascend to gun heaven. Alas, none to this day have worked out how to unhook the damn thing.
Full Bohrum Jacket
Issue #2: On my way to St.Ives Station
Disclaimer & Foreword
Originally published in Discount Dan's Digest, a short-lived e-zine, various lawsuits have prompted us to disclaim that the following document is not to be considered legal advice from firearms experts. Any information within may be inaccurate, poorly sourced, or just plain wrong.
Cast:
Natasha Williams Is a former security consultant for companies she can't disclose for NDA concerns. She enjoys range shooting, crochet and amateur corporate history.
"Bob" Appears in this issue! Bob ends up being a regular from this point. Not so much "Salt of the earth" as much as "the salt upon Carthage" but Bob proved popular to readers.
Hello readers, thanks for joining me again. This week I'm holed up in a fleet berth during trading season. Unfortunately, the only firearms merchant was a man who would only go by the name of "Bob" and his wares, well...
Hardly modern any more
Modified 3-round burst, 7.62x39mm
Once made by anyone west of Germany
Most likely in the hands of: Anyone with access to decaying Soviet surplus: Syndicate agents, suspicious gun merchants. Me.
What should you do?: Throw a handful of dried cosmoline flakes in one direction, run in the other. The AKM laughs in the face of modern firearms capacity, you will run out before the shooter does.
"Bob" (Wearing a ragged last-generation EVA jacket and broken current-generation gas mask) waved a set of these in front of me with a "Buy one, get two waffles free" deal. Unfortunately these ones had clearly been swimming because the barrels were more rust than steel. The original AKMs are now mostly museum or family antiques, I'm pretty sure the ones you find out here are being churned out by Soviet companies with frontier interests because the originals didn't come in burst fire and with a bullet velocity that would rip through station walls.
There's a reason this century-old platform is still around though: High capacity, punches hard, kicks like a mule.
A flintlock?
NO IMAGE
Excuse me? Muzzle-loaded flintlock, .75(!)
The Founding forefathers?
Most likely in the hands of: Bob, and apparently "Space privateers"
What should you do?: Be in defilade.
Refusing to take no for an answer, Bob then lifted this out of nearby rack. Explaining that unlike the oh....half-millennia old ancestor this flintlock was a modern contender. The flint is a hardened plasmacrystal, the frizzen high carbon steel, so I admit this thing even with black powder could probably fire in a rainstorm just fine.
Of more interest is the bullet: .75 caliber "minie" ball. This thing wouldn't do much against modern armor, but blow a pool ball-sized hole through some poor soul's midriff.
No Tactical Advantages
Single action, .38 Special
Several companies make these replicas, this model's most likely Cormorant.
Most likely in the hands of: Someone about a century too young to be used to single action weapons.
What should you do?: Dodge the first shot, hear the clicking, slap it out of their hands and fan the hammer back at them.
After waving away the choke of black powder, like a Djinni Bob appeared from the smoke proffering something rather special. I won't bore you with some ancient historical precedents regarding this replica's ancestor because I know dear readers you'll be familiar with "The gun that tamed the West" (as well as the questionable accuracy of this statement.
The truth is while it's a lovely design, modern convenience of fire-selecting, smart-targeting, suppressed weapons make this a vanity. Bob provided a rare bit of wisdom: Sometimes its useful to have something hard to use on your hip, so a thief of convenience takes the wrong bait while you plug them with a proper gun. If you meet a time-traveling cowboy you at least have one extra round (crammed into a modernized, stronger cylinder) than them.
Full Bohrum Jacket
Issue #5: Deal of the Art
Disclaimer & Foreword
Originally published in Discount Dan's Digest, a short-lived e-zine, various lawsuits have prompted us to disclaim that the following document is not to be considered legal advice from firearms experts. Any information within may be inaccurate, poorly sourced, or just plain wrong.
Cast:
Natasha Williams Is a former security consultant for companies she can't disclose for NDA concerns. She enjoys range shooting, crochet and amateur corporate history.
"Bob" Assures us most of his warrants have expired. Appearing in issue #2 as a traveling merchant selling rusty AKMs, Bob's no-nonsense attitude and curious experience being shot at by most firearms on the frontier have made him a mainstay for the series.
I'll be honest, readers, I've been around and seen some things, but doing a deal with some earth art of spurious providence in exchange for a collected cache of guns with yet more spurious ownership certificates with a Martian is a new one! My Martian is a little rusty so Bob handled the deal. The flipside of that is I'm now not suffering from a nosebleed while I discuss these little finds!
The friendliest fire
Dual-mode, burst fire or full automatic high-voltage discharge.
Most likely in the hands of: Corporate Security on solo-beats.
What should you do?: Sure, it puts out a lot of fire but it also refuses to profile, or discriminate. Engage in busy, high-traffic areas. Share the shock with people caught in the crossfire.
Natasha: After a brief trial period initial feedback for the MK. I was positive, but there remained a corps of officers unconvinced that slow-moving taser balls could put down the more agile criminal. There too were concerns that the less firearms-proficient would struggle. I respect Five Points for avoiding scope creep by working on smart-targeting or an optic (Security aren't military, and we're more likely to point-shoot than sight) and take a simpler route: fragment their charge-carrying pellets into a rain of tiny but rapid taser bolts. Accuracy suffers but compensating with fire rate is a time-honored approach.
Bob: I've called officers who hit me by accident with this a rude term and spent the next six hours head first in the high-flo brig toilet. I lived just fine, but my hairline didn't.
Many a slip 'twixt the wink and the wrist
Double action, .41 short rimfire
Various manufacturers planetside, out here usually Spectre Tactical Laboratories
Most likely in the shirts of: The person you least suspect.
What should you do?: It's smoothbore, and tiny. The former fact means standing a few meters back is out of range. The latter means getting too close and personal makes it an awkward shot. Take your pick.
Natasha: Derringers have seen a resurgence in popularity in the age of security screenings and restrictive corporate views on arms carrying. Concealable in shirts, shoes, and a few places I won't mention for anyone getting too bright an idea. The "Helicon Hustle" is a common street gun technique where with a wink and reflexive twist, you can whip this thing out and into your palm for two surprisingly painful shots they weren't expecting.
Bob: The Corporations don't want you to know, but you can carry as many derringers as you want. I myself have sixteen derringers. Sure, getting them all out requires a two minute interpretive dance session that makes spectators think I'm having a lead-poisoning induced fit, but still.
If John Moses Browning is god, St. Peter is Samuel Colt
Double action, .357 Magnum usually.
Most likely in the hands of: Enthusiasts and criminals
What should you do?: The Predator is very much a revolver doing what they do best. Unfortunately there aren't any special tricks beyond good CQB or running away here. Bob has an idea though...
Natasha: The Predator, what do I say? .357 magnum has survived as a caliber for a reason and shooting it from a solid frame, no-frills full-size revolver means you get a straight, consistent and painful pistol. Due to a little history, .357 and .38 special are fairly interchangeable, so this thing takes detective special rounds which are a little cheaper if you wanted to do some target shooting.
Bob: Heh, so Natasha hasn't heard of this, but I know a guy who's cousin heard a story from their friend's mother that there was massive firearms deal a few years back for these, but the deal was spiked by Nanotrasen or the Syndicate or Martians or something, so instead it was a load of faulty replicas. Now they're floating around and who knows what'll happen if you try to shoot them. I'm just saying if someone dumps a predator on the ground in front of you and it seems too good to be true, maybe it is? heh heh.
Full Bohrum Jacket
Issue #8: We have Gun at Home
Disclaimer & Foreword
Originally published in Discount Dan's Digest, a short-lived e-zine, various lawsuits have prompted us to disclaim that the following document is not to be considered legal advice from firearms experts. Any information within may be inaccurate, poorly sourced, or just plain wrong.
Cast:
Natasha Williams Is a former security consultant for companies she can't disclose for NDA concerns. She enjoys range shooting, crochet and amateur corporate history.
"Bob" Assures us most of his warrants have expired. Appearing in issue #2 as a traveling merchant selling rusty AKMs, Bob's no-nonsense attitude and curious experience being shot at by most firearms on the frontier have made him a mainstay for the series.
Sorry readers, life can't all be jet setting out amongst the stars. I do have to get home sometimes. Thankfully, I have small collection I've gathered over the years, so let me show you a gun I've bought, a gun I've taken, and a gun I want
Gun for a girl from the valleys
Semi-Automatic, 9mm
Most likely in the hands of: Me. Or more likely Syndicate operatives.
What should you do?: The Branwen knows its job, it's a backup service pistol not a primary firearm. Plenty of capacity but not much punch. Wear protection and shoot back with something harder.
Natasha: I legally can't tell you how I own this gun, but Mabinogi aren't exactly quiet about their designs so that should be fine. The Branwen is a "wonder nine" about a century too late to join the party. 15 rounds of 9mm, ring hammer, light trigger and decent machining for a service pistol make it a thoroughly reliable secondary firearm. I just like plinking with it.
Bob: Wait did Natasha work for [REDACTED]? I thought they had an exclusivity contract for the Branwen? I wonder if she's got a Cyalume around here somewhere...
From Prince to Pauper
Semi automatic, 9mm, but the tolerances are so wide it'll probably take various 9mm types.
I won't give the company responsible free advertising.
Most likely in the hands of: drug smugglers
What should you do?: Refrain from mocking their lack of style and remember it's still a gun. 10 rounds of 9mm will still put you six feet under if you deign to take them all.
Natasha: I hate this thing, but it's important I try and be at least a little impartial to our loyal readers. The Lo-Point has as its merits a lo-price point, Med-Capacity, and Hi-popularity as a result. It's been produced in distressingly high quantities so expect it to turn up in the hands of criminal elements who don't have corporate backing.
Bob: YEET.
Vexillifer IV
NO IMAGE
What's Behind door number 4?
According to a Podbattler PDA channel leak, Siege-grade helium neon laser with excimer particles.
Also according to PDA Channel leak: Gnomes.
Most likely in the hands of: Who knows What should you do?: Stop leaking classified technical documents on PDA channels, you know PDAs are personally registered right?
Natasha: So clearly we don't know as much as we'd like about this thing. helium neon as a gain medium mixed with an excimer would likely produce a very high quality laser, and the sheer size of it makes us suspect this thing is an answer to a design document's goal: How hard can we hit someone? Regardless of how big it is, the documents say it's not pulsed, so I suspect it requires a charge-up time to fire.
Bob: Probably fake.
Full Bohrum Jacket
Issue #23: April Secret Stash
Disclaimer & Foreword
Originally published in Discount Dan's Digest, a short-lived e-zine, various lawsuits have prompted us to disclaim that the following document is not to be considered legal advice from firearms experts. Any information within may be inaccurate, poorly sourced, or just plain wrong.
Cast:
Natasha Williams Is a former security consultant for companies she can't disclose for NDA concerns. She enjoys range shooting, crochet and amateur corporate history.
"Bob" Assures us most of his warrants have expired. Appearing in issue #2 as a traveling merchant selling rusty AKMs, Bob's no-nonsense attitude and curious experience being shot at by most firearms on the frontier have made him a mainstay for the series.
Well well well, I am so sorry to say our current editor is retiring today, in honor of them, we've acquired some really nice secret weapons for our April issue. Fair warning, all of these are highly classified! Please do not share with anyone or we could get in trouble. With no further delay:
Banned in six station cafeterias
Single-shot, .0625 synthrubber slug
Most likely in the hands of: Plucky Space Cadets and Brobocops.
What should you do?: They've got one shot to make it count.
Natasha: Look at that violent orange and lime frame! This survival pistol has a thousand features for enterprising sheriffs protecting their saloons or suspicious spies sneaking about: A locked slide and cocking handle keep this shooter nice and quiet, and it's one of the highest calibers children aged six and up can buy! Not only that, after months, months of proprietary research, Josh has come up with the holy grail for brass-weasels: Reusable bullets! Simply use your Hand(TM) to Pick Up(TM) and Reload(TM)
Bob: Completely untraceable by a metal scanner, quiet, and deadly. God those darts look tasty too.
Nerfo Riche Revolver
Six Darts, more than enough to tag anything that moves
Double action, 20mm slugs
Lapis Solutions
Most likely in the hands of: Junior detectives and Unkempt Harolds upholding the law
'What should you do?: Put 'em up, you're surrounded!
Natasha: For the pros, this unique revolver design actually places the cylinder close to the barrel, balancing this revolver perfectly. A marvel of simple engineering, a six-part trigger assembly allows for the marvel of double-action fire to meet the foamy edge of sponge ballistic warfare.
Bob: I wish more pistol sights were in lime green. I guh-
Bling Blaster
FIND
Finally, a gun that admits the ammo is just shooting your money away
Your hard earned cash.
The military industrial-entertainment industry.
Most likely in the hands of: The rich we should eat.
What should you do?: Get hit by this gun. A lot. Take the hits for your friends and family. Be a hero.
Natasha: It's not often we get to experience and shoot a working metaphor for gun owners: It's a gaudy toy that costs our salaries to use. A simple spring and internal barrel sabot arrangement allows you to skip the armorer middleman and just start emptying your wallet straight into the barrel. Simply point and click at your children to make a rapid donation to their pocket money.
Bob: [Too busy choking on a foam dart they've eaten.]
Full Bohrum Jacket
Issue #26: SECRETS AND SHADOWS PT2. What THEY don't want you to know
Disclaimer & Foreword
Originally published in Discount Dan's Digest, a short-lived e-zine, various lawsuits have prompted us to disclaim that the following document is not to be considered legal advice from firearms experts. Any information within may be inaccurate, poorly sourced, or just plain wrong.
Cast:
Natasha Williams Is a former security consultant for companies she can't disclose for NDA concerns. She enjoys range shooting, crochet and amateur corporate history.
"Bob" Assures us most of his warrants have expired. Appearing in issue #2 as a travelling merchant selling rusty AKMs, Bob's no-nonsense attitude and curious experience being shot at by most firearms on the frontier have made him a mainstay for the series.
Crassus Pinto Though not ever seen directly, Crassus takes over from an unnamed Editor towards the end of the series. Crassus is a well known publisher and editor famed for their commercially successful if yellow-press journalism.
We know, readers, we understand that a quick PDA search can turn up most of what you're looking for in the firearms world. As such, we're continuing our new direction of digging up information on the guns they don't want you to know about. Using a few contacts I've made over the years we've got the freshest scoop on special operations weapons:
Modern comforts in a classic design
3 round burst, 9x19mm FMJ
Most likely in the hands of: Scouting forces for the Syndicate
What should you do?: 30 rounds, but even held in both hands it's not the most accurate and 9mm struggles with ballistic vests. Scouts are usually alone, take them out before they can report back.
Natasha: When I was working, Almagest was just a reliable producer of military-grade firearms, a subdivision of Hemera I think. This thing's definitely got the hallmarks of Almagest: Building upon existing military firearms, augmenting it with modern designs. The pistol grip lets you hold it one handed but your aim is going to suffer. The forward guard lets you switch up for two. See that ring sight? nice and wide for close-quarters battle rather than ranged shooting. This thing's built for snapshots.
Bob: Uh, Natasha, I know that shade of red. I don't think Almagest is making guns in Kansas any more.
Amaethon Gyrojet Pistol
NO IMAGE
Rocketman low-pressure semi-automatic, 13mm microrocket.
Most likely in the hands of: People in the know.
What should you do?: Mabinogi still hasn't quite solved the microrocket's key problem for a pistol, in that a short-range weapon paradoxically takes too long to speed up, making for an awkward optimum range. Get in close, or get away.
Natasha: For a brief history lesson, Gyrogets were tried in the 20th century when experimenting with ammo was in vogue. It never panned out because the technology wasn't there so it was high time someone tried to revive the concept. Microrockets are almost recoilless! Your granny could shoot this thing no problem and given enough distance it'll speed right up.
Bob: It's lame! It doesn't even blow up like a real rocket! That's the best part of a rocket and it doesn't do it! Wait, what is THAT.
Demolition Girl
Single fire, MPRT micro squash-capped tip.
Ostensibly the SIRA...
Most likely in the hands of: Terrorists, theoretically.
What should you do?: The relatively low velocity grenade is designed to explode defensively rather than offensively, but is still a high-explosive. Don't be standing within at least ten meters of the explosion radius if you want to avoid spalling and shrapnel.
Natasha: Like its ancestor, the actual frame of the weapon is takes a back seat to the ammunition itself, but some updates have been made: A lighter polycarbonate frame over wood, a subtly baffled exhaust port turns a dangerous backblast into a squad-friendly gust, a modified scope for shorter engagement distances. The grenade has a feather-touch cap that'll even trigger on contact with personnel, rather than materiel.
Bob: Uh. That thing in no way was designed by some terrorists. It's just like the Bellatrix. I'd bet money the same factory cranks these out. Where did you get these?
Full Metal Bohrum (DRAFT AUTOSAVE)
Issue #27: SECRETS AND SHADOWS PT3. NT BEHIND THIS? CLICK HERE TO READ
Disclaimer & Foreword
Originally published in Discount Dan's Digest, a short-lived e-zine, various lawsuits have prompted us to disclaim that the following document is not to be considered legal advice from firearms experts. Any information within may be inaccurate, poorly sourced, or just plain wrong.
Cast:
Natasha Williams Is a former security consultant for companies she can't disclose for NDA concerns. She enjoys range shooting, crochet and amateur corporate history.
'"Bob" Assures us most of his warrants have expired. Appearing in issue #2 as a traveling merchant selling rusty AKMs, Bob's no-nonsense attitude and curious experience being shot at by most firearms on the frontier have made him a mainstay for the series.
Crassus Pinto Though not ever seen directly, Crassus takes over from an unnamed Editor towards the end of the series. Crassus is a well known publisher and editor famed for their commercially successful if yellow-press journalism.
[Distributor's notice: This issue was never published in its original format as it was never completed. This partial draft was found as an automatically saved draft on a terminal after a corporate buyout of Discount Digest]
We're sorry for the delay but I assure our readers this one will be worth the wait. We've found some really special weapons today and an answer to a mystery we've been trying to solve for dozens of issues. Bob and I have been traveling to some abandoned Nanotrasen stations and prowling through old logs, and found a few "reclaimable" items to show to you today!
Remote-working even for doctors
Single fire, chemical syringe payload.
Most likely in the hands of: Medical Directors of Nanotrasen research facilities.
What should you do?: Stand still!
Natasha: So this was a pleasant surprise! While a little unwieldy, the bulk of this pistol is made up of a nano-fabricator front chamber and chemical reservoir. The reservoir stores medical chemicals until the trigger is pulled, which flash-forges a plasteel-tipped syringe and propels it forwards using gas released as a chemical byproduct. In respect to NT, there seems to be a firmware and miniaturized spectrometer that detects and filters out non-pharmaceuticals. Why you need to shoot patients at long range I don't know but at least it's benign.
EDITOR NOTE: Natasha, we don't get readers with boring medical tools. Edit this with what you were telling me about that brute-force Electromagnetic cards, I bet that thing could get this to pump out deadly chemicals.
Bob: Nanotransen more like nanosnoozing. I miss when they made fancy pens.
The Real Find
Dual mode, E-gun style electrical laser conversion, or binary-laser.
[DATA CORRUPTED]
Most likely in the hands of: [DATA CORRUPTED]
What should you do?: [DATA CORRUPTED]
INITIAL WRITE UP NOTES:
- Holy heck, the design documents were all here. I knew it.
- Pistol non-lethal, Five points?
- Looks like Lawbringer prototype??
- Lethal carbine, weird binary laser design. If it hits the target dummy it combines for more damage!
- Re-write syringe gun. Don't like it but Bob retirement fund.
- Bob nervous about increased reader audience and new direction. Me too. Maybe we can tone it down after this.
- Dinner at 7, Buttes motel(?) Bob's treat
- Ask about odd calls.
- Check old Op code 11 52 43 07 13 (Just in case)
Full Bohrum Jacket: Daedalus Wept
Issue #XX: Dinner and a show
Distributor's Disclaimer
The following is entirely fictional. Any characters, corporate entities, firearms, or events that resemble real-world counterparts are purely coincidental.
Cast:
Natasha Williams Is a former security consultant for companies she can't disclose for NDA concerns. She enjoys range shooting, crochet and amateur corporate history.
"Bob" A good man.
Burn notice. My Opcode caused the uplink to detonate right at the bar desk in front of the PRbuddy. Next thing I know is I'm on my back writhing. Bob said a guy in a cape and goggles hit me with a pistol he's never seen. Muttered "Detain" to the goons behind him. Only reason we got out was my ancient freedom implant and bob's:
Riot launcher
IMAGE CUSTOM
Cover when we needed it
Pump, 40mm grenades.
Bob never said
Most likely in the hands of: Former Martian Correctional Officers
What should you do?: Run!
Nothing more than a portable tube and firing pin, the fuzed 40mm shells self-propel out, releasing a cloud of obscuring smoke. Designed to clear shortly. Pretty sure Bob's version was seriously cut down for easy carry but even a full model could be used one-handed. You could put all sorts of 40mm ammo in there. We hid in a side room bob welded shut with those tools he insists on bringing everywhere after taking a few pot shots into the hallway those were not smoke rounds. I swear I saw bananas? Slipped a few of them before the door got welded shut. Writing this all out now, mostly to calm nerves while we work out what to do next.
Banging on the door. Think they're going to come in through the window. Hope they don't have pods. Just waiting with Gwyd now, Speaking of:
Mr. Sandman
Semi-automatic, 9mm Tranquillizer
Most likely in the hands of: Me.
What should you do?: Make sure I don't miss.
Bob liked loud and flashy, but I was always more of a fan of keeping quiet. That's how this job started funnily enough. I needed something civilian to do in my dusk years while I waited for certain funds to clear statutes of limitation. The frustrating thing is that I maybe spent two of a thirty year career working in less legal circuits but both made more than I ever did doing spotty corporate work and can't touch any of the savings.
Maybe Bob rubbed off on me, enjoyed the limelight too much. Back to basics. Aim for the body, don't die for ten seconds. Bob thinks they're here for him for some reason. Pretty sure big no on that one.
Got out. They stopped playing nice. Lawbringer put a hole through the door. Didn't know it could do that. Clipped the first two through, Bob bounced another smoke round off the head of the third. Pod blew out the window and in the chaos grabbed Bob and EVAd.
Took bob's crank, kept us going but he took a lot of shrapnel. Going home. Would be a terrible idea but they're going to find us anyway. Need to open up my personal armory, something like:
American-180 - Bob Edition
Buzz off
Fully automatic, .22 FMJ normally. Now...
No time to check the manufacturer.
Most likely in the hands of: Took it as a trophy from some gang members back in '33
What should you do?: Ever seen Scarface?
Patched us both up, but they were right behind us. No time. Bob spinning them improvised hostage situation, smart.
Game plan: NT operative doctrine is to capture syndicate assets wherever possible for debriefing, time to talk, to negotiate. Stall. Bring this out, Bob modified it to fire AP. 80% of the shots will go wide but with 177 rounds I only need to hit 20% of the time.
Going to hand this to bob, tell him the plan, shove him in the disposal chute. Why's he playing with that syringe gu-?