Bartending Pocket Guide

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The Bartenders Beginner Booklet

So you wanna bartend eh? Well then look no further than this handy booklet provided to you! The Bartenders job is to serve beverages to the crew to bolster their moral, spirits and their blood alcohol level. Of course there is no need to carry around and stock hundreds of different bottles of spirits here as magical space technology has given you the Soda, Chemical and Alcohol dispenser, all in the same place!

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Part One, prepping the workplace

So right off the bat, you should get yourself familiarized with your surroundings. Nearby you should find a locked Mixology locker or a crate of similar proportions, within are the tools of your trade, inside you can find a toxin medical kit, which is used to treat poisoning, some large beakers, glassware boxes which contain drinking glasses, and a hand labeler for naming your drinks. Somewhere nearby you can also find some Calomel autoinjectors, a powerful purgative for those moments when somebody Really had too much to drink.

Exiting your office you should eventually find yourself your main work area, the Bar. Here you can find every tool you need to mix up any drink imaginable. If you have worked within the Research department you might notice all of these are very similar, and that's true. Truth is, being a Bartender is very similar to being a chemistry. Main difference being people drink you concoctions (mostly) voluntarily. On this side of the Bar table you can also find those three dispensers I told ya about earlier, those being the Alcohol, Soda and Chemical Dispenser. You can also find an espresso machine here for those fancy types who can’t handle a real drink, and a glassware recycler which can be filled with glass objects in order to create new fancy glassware for your Bar.

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Part Two, preparing the drinks

While your main job is to mix drinks, people nowadays are so busy they barely take the time to inspect your well made drinks, remember the first taste is with the eyes and luckily you are supplied with various tools to make those drinks beautiful. These include a box of tiny umbrellas, fruit wedges and little doodads like celery sticks, cherries and olives. In addition the glassware recycler can create a multitude of different glass types such as, cocktail glasses, old fashioned lowball glasses, shot glasses, drinking glasses and a bunch more stuff like entire pitches and plates.

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Part Three, defending the bar and beyond the drink dispenser

Look at that, now you know the basics. While normally the bar is a fairly peaceful place sometimes people have a bad day or made poor decisions and choose to take it out on your patrons, luckily for you, a armory grade riot shotgun has been issued to you in order to silence these rough housers. Be warned though, you don’t formally have a gun licence on the station and the robots might not take kindly to you luggin it around.

And now, if you are still feeling lost here is a small list of the most commonly ordered drinks by crew.

Gin & Tonic: Gin + Tonic Water
Old Fashioned: Bourbon + Bitters + Sugar + Water
Screwdriver: Vodka + Orange Juice
Martini: Gin + Vermouth
Sex on the Beach: Screwdriver + Cranberry Juice
Whiskey Sour: Bourbon + Lemonade

Now if you still feel like you can do better, maybe it might be in your best interest to do some real Mixology and try your hand at discovering some of the drinks NT doesn’t want you to know about.

Dragons Breath: Spicy, Alcoholic Liquid Firewater, fairly safe after new mixing regulations came into play but still has a very slight chance to instantly turn you to dust when drinking it.
Freeze: Liquid Hypothermia, somehow extremely cold even at if you heat it to 1000 kelvin, like Dragons Breath it has a very slight chance to turn you into an ice statue.
Grog: A pirates disgusting dream, somehow perfectly safe to drink even with a PH level of 1 and a piratry level of over 9000.
Mutini: An odd drink of clashing chemicals. Gives you both horrific mutations and brain damage while curing it at the same time. A very good party starter.

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Additional mixology information: https://wiki.ss13.co/Chemistry
https://wiki.ss13.co/Foods_and_Drinks