Fun Facts About Shelterfrogs

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FUN FACTS ABOUT SHELTERFROGS: A WILDLIFE GUIDE

The shelterfrogs are small amphibians that dwell in the dark places of caves and rock crevices. They can survive without light, but they prefer to stay away from it when possible since it disturbs their natural sleep patterns which cause them to become disoriented during daylight hours. Their homes are usually found in areas where there isn't much to disturb the ground, such as caves or rock crevices. Shelterfrogs are generally passive creatures that like to stare uncomfortably at other animals and humans alike. However, if an animal gets too close to their home, they will stare at them until they feel so uncomfortable that they flee. If one gets too far away from their home, the frog remains still and makes the same silly expression until prodded with a stick. They are very passive creatures and will ignore people unless the Shelterfrog feels its personal space is being invaded. The best way to deal with them is to keep your distance by moving slowly around them and staying out of their line of sight lest they stare at you and make you uncomfortable with their judgmental expression.


While essentially harmless with their clumsy hopping and relentless staring, one should always be careful when approaching them. A person can feel great embarrassment from their constant stare. While harmless and the source of much amusement, they can cause a great deal of discomfort, possibly leading to a trip to see a doctor who will likely assure you that the frog wasn’t expressing bewilderment at the cringe-worthy material in a PDA message you sent. It's best to never touch a Shelterfrog unless absolutely necessary, as they’re very slippery, like a greased stick of butter coated in industrial space lubricant. Shelterfrogs are generally found in groups and loners are rare. It is unknown why they remain with their friends for so long, but there have been no reports of violence between Shelterfrogs other than staring contests.


Shelterfrogs are primarily herbivorous and feed on small insects, algae, and wild berries but they prize one thing above all, and that is a byproduct of human manufacture. Shelterfrogs are notorious for their love of alcohol, rum in particular. They will regularly migrate in mass numbers towards breweries, bars, and liquor stores for the chance at liquor of any quality - but mostly rum. Shelterfrogs enjoy music and are capable of playing instruments themselves. It is unknown how they pick up these skills without proper schooling, but it is likely that their natural affinity for staring increases their observational skills to a point where they can play a song after hearing it only once. However, they are completely tone-deaf.


The shelterfrog is at risk of becoming endangered due to habitat destruction and the crushing blows of humanity. The only reason they have lasted this long is due to their generally non-aggressive nature. Sadly, one of these days they will fight back and it will be too late for us all. May Space God have mercy on our souls.

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