Jobs

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Revision as of 20:11, 16 May 2013 by Weavel (talk | contribs) (Whoever edited it to be the former made a tonne of typos and added lots of not-funny things. Reverted some, kept some.)
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These are all the jobs you can fuck up choose.

Civilian Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access


Jobass.png Staff Assistant Fight everyone, ruin everything. Easy Maintenance
64px Chef Deep fry the entire station. Fight the Botanists over tomatoes worthless bannanas. Wonder how to bake a cake. Easy Kitchen
Jobchap.png Chaplain Fart on your bible. Never be around when you are actually needed. Easy Chapel
Jobbar.png Barman Get drunk, try to shoot the bar patrons with your revolver. Get subsequently looted. Easy Bar
Botanist.png Botanist Grow slurrypods, smoke a weed erreyday. Ignore the Chef, chainsaw yourself. Easy to Medium Hydroponics Maintenance
Jobjan.png Janitor Clean already clean floors, whine about beatings. Stuff people everything into your trash cart. Easy to Hard Janitor's Closet, Maintenance


Maintenance Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobelec.png Mechanic Ask nicely to scan the Thermals, then run. Suffocate while building a pod. Medium Electronics, Maintenance, Hack into everything
Jobeng.png Engineer Set the engine on fire. Steal the Miners' equipment, fuck off into space. Easy to Medium Engineering, Maintenance
Jobminer.png Miner Completely ignore the asteroid field, fuck off into space. Run out of air. Easy to Medium Engineering, Mining, Maintenance
Jobqmas.png Quartermaster Buy nothing but bees and lasers. Fuck off into space, fight drones and lose. Medium Cargo Bay, Maintenance, Supplies


Research Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
64px Medical Doctor Never heal anyone, whine about people taking med-kits. Medium Medbay
64px Geneticist Scatter a load of injectors labelled "Monkey!" "Hulk TK!". Watch and laugh, then get beat up. Hard Genetics, Medbay
Jobrob.png Roboticist Steal all the butts. Cry because nobody wants to be a robot. Hard Robotics, Medbay, Maintenance
Jobsci.png Scientist Ignore the Artifact Lab. Start a Telescience expedition, drain all the power. Get killed by the murderchef. Hard Artifact Lab, Chemistry, Toxins, Research Sector, Pathology, Teleporter Lab


Personnel Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobsec.png Security Officer Beat the utter shit out of the Janitor. Imprison yourself in the Gen Pop. Soul Crushing Maintenance, Security, Brig
Jobdet.png Detective Get drunk. Take photos. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later. Easy Detective's Office, Brig
Jobceng.png Chief Engineer Realize you have no clue how to start the engine, die in a fire. Medium Engineering, Electronics, Bridge, Mining, EVA, Maintenance
Jobhor.png Research Director Complain about not having your bomb, try and pick a fight with Heisenbee. Medium to Hard Medbay, Research, Genetics, Artifacts, Toxins, Chemistry, Telescience, Pathology, Teleporter, Bridge
Hos2012.gif Head of Security Get rehired, remind everyone why you were fired in the first place. Harder than Hard Everything + Head of Security's Office, Armory, Solitary
64px Head of Personnel Steal a Space Suit one minute into the shift. Disappear forever. Medium to Hard Make your own ID
Capn2x.png Captain Get drunk, reprogram the AI into a dog. Throw the authentication disk at the Syndicates. Nightmarish Everything


Antagonist Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobtrait.png Traitor Buy a glowy sword. Hit yourself with the glowy sword. Medium to Hard Depends on job
Dracula.png Vampire Stand in the Chapel. Medium to Hard Depends on job
Joboper.png Nuclear Operative Speak over the radio two minutes in. Leave the shuttle without a breath mask. Hard Maintenance
64px Wizard Run around trying to kill everyone, get electrocuted by the AI. Whine, respawn, repeat. Easy to Hard Walk through walls
Changeling.png Changeling Go to Ice Moon to be "The Thing". Fall off a cliff and get eaten by wendigos. Hard Depends on job
Jobspy.png Spy Lose your PDA, implant braindead people. Remind everyone why they got rid of Rev. Hard Depends on job
Jobspy.png Gangster Join the gang with the coolest hats. Get murdered by the biggest gang. Never tag anything. Hard Depends on job


Special Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Fancy2x.gif AI Get bored. Open doors. Turn the airbridges off. Psychologically Devastating Everything
64px Cyborg Scream at the crew to make upgrades, forget to recharge. Ignore the AI. fart on vampires. Hard Everything
Jobmonkey.png Monkey Obtain a railgun. Become the Chef's assistant. Get put on the spike for burgers cake. Nightmarish Depends, walk under tables
Ghost.png Ghost Rotate chairs, whine in deadchat, rave about omnighosts. Cry about death Irrelevant