Difference between revisions of "Jobs"

Revision as of 17:55, 28 April 2013

These are all the jobs you can ~~fuck up~~ choose.

Civilian Jobs
Mugshot	Job Title	Description	Difficulty	Access
	Staff Assistant	Fight everyone, ruin everything.	Easy	Maintenance
64px	Chef	Deep fry the entire station. Fight the Botanists over tomatoes. Wonder how to bake a cake.	Easy	Kitchen
	Chaplain	Fart on your bible. Never be around when you are actually needed.	Easy	Chapel
	Barman	Get drunk, try to shoot the bar patrons with your revolver. Get subsequently looted.	Easy	Bar
	Botanist	Grow slurrypods, smoke a weed erreyday. Ignore the Chef, chainsaw yourself.	Easy to Medium	Hydroponics Maintenance
	Janitor	Clean already clean floors, whine about beatings. Stuff ~~people~~ everything into your trash cart.	Easy to Hard	Janitor's Closet, Maintenance

Maintenance Jobs
Mugshot	Job Title	Description	Difficulty	Access
	Electrician	Break into EVA. Scan the jetpacks. Fuck off into space.	Medium	Electronics, Maintenance
	Engineer	Set the engine on fire. Steal the Miners' equipment, fuck off into space.	Easy to Medium	Engineering, Maintenance
	Miner	Completely ignore the asteroid field, fuck off into space. Run out of air.	Easy to Medium	Engineering, Mining, Maintenance
	Quartermaster	Fuck off into space to make money. Get yourself and 12K worth of merchandise blown up by drones.	Medium	Cargo Bay, Maintenance, Supplies

Research Jobs
Mugshot	Job Title	Description	Difficulty	Access
64px	Medical Doctor	Never heal anyone, whine about people taking med-kits.	Medium	Medbay
64px	Geneticist	Scatter a load of injectors labelled "Hulk TK!". Watch and laugh, then get beat up.	Hard	Genetics, Medbay
	Roboticist	Steal all the butts. Cry because nobody wants to be a robot.	Hard	Robotics, Medbay, Maintenance
	Scientist	Ignore the Artifact Lab. Start a Telescience expedition, drain all the power.	Hard	Artifact Lab, Chemistry, Toxins, Research Sector, Pathology, Teleporter Lab

Personnel Jobs
Mugshot	Job Title	Description	Difficulty	Access
	Security Officer	Beat the utter shit out of the Janitor. Imprison yourself in the Gen Pop.	Soul Crushing	Maintenance, Security, Brig
	Detective	Get drunk. Take photos. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later.	Easy	Detective's Office, Brig
	Chief Engineer	Realize you have no clue how to start the engine, die in a fire.	Medium	Engineering, Electronics, Bridge, Mining, EVA, Maintenance
	Research Director	Complain about not having your bomb, try and pick a fight with Heisenbee.	Medium to Hard	Medbay, Research, Genetics, Artifacts, Toxins, Chemistry, Telescience, Pathology, Teleporter, Bridge
	Head of Security	Get rehired, remind everyone why you were fired in the first place.	Harder than Hard	Everything + Head of Security's Office, Armory, Solitary
64px	Head of Personnel	Steal a Space Suit one minute into the shift. Disappear forever.	Medium to Hard	May as well be everything
	Captain	Get drunk, reprogram the AI into a dog. Throw the authentication disk at the Syndicates.	Nightmarish	Everything

Antagonist Roles
Mugshot	Job Title	Description	Difficulty	Access
	Traitor	Buy a glowy sword. Hit yourself with the glowy sword.	Medium to Hard	Depends
	Vampire	Stand in the Chapel.	Medium to Hard	Depends
	Nuclear Operative	Speak over the radio two minutes in. Leave the shuttle without a breath mask.	Hard	Maintenance
64px	Wizard	Run around trying to kill everyone, get electrocuted by the AI. Whine, respawn, repeat.	Easy to Hard	Walk through walls
	Changeling	Go to Ice Moon to be "The Thing". Fall off a cliff and get eaten by wendigos.	Hard	Depends
	Spy	Lose your PDA, implant braindead people. Remind everyone why they got rid of Rev.	Hard	Depends
	Gangster	Join the gang with the coolest hats. Get murdered by the biggest gang. Never tag anything.	Hard	Depends

Special Roles
Mugshot	Job Title	Description	Difficulty	Access
	AI	Get bored. Open doors. Turn the airbridges off.	Psychologically Devastating	Everything
64px	Cyborg	Scream at the crew to make upgrades, forget to recharge. Ignore the AI.	Hard	Everything
	Monkey	Become the Chef's assistant. Get put on the spike for ~~burgers~~ cake.	Nightmarish	Depends
	Ghost	Rotate chairs, whine in deadchat, rave about omnighosts.	None	Irrelevant

@@ Line 62: / Line 62: @@
 |imgwidth=64
 |title=[[Electrician]]
-|description= Ask nicely to scan the thermals. Run off with them.
+|description=Break into EVA. Scan the jetpacks. Fuck off into space.
 |difficulty=Medium
 |access=[[Electronics]], [[Maintenance]]}}
@@ Line 70: / Line 70: @@
 |imgwidth=64
 |title=[[Engineer]]
-|description=Set the engine on fire. Never set up Solars.
+|description=Set the engine on fire. Steal the Miners' equipment, fuck off into space.
 |difficulty=Easy to Medium
 |access=[[Engineering]], [[Maintenance]]}}
@@ Line 86: / Line 86: @@
 |imgwidth=64
 |title=[[Quartermaster]]
-|description=Order twenty crates at once, die in space after trying to manually dislodge them.
+|description=Fuck off into space to make money. Get yourself and 12K worth of merchandise blown up by drones.
 |difficulty=Medium
 |access=[[Cargo Bay]], [[Maintenance]], Supplies}}
@@ Line 116: / Line 116: @@
 |imgwidth=64
 |title=[[Roboticist]]
-|description=Steal all the metal, cry because nobody wants to be a robot.
+|description=Steal all the butts. Cry because nobody wants to be a robot.
 |difficulty=Hard
 |access=[[Robotics]], [[Medbay]], [[Maintenance]]}}