Difference between revisions of "Jobs"

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m (If you're going to continually change the jokes on this page at least spell the new terrible ones right, okay?)
m (New Station, updated Jokes, Added Pathology to scientist and rd.)
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Engineer]]
|title=[[Engineer]]
|description=Release the Singularity, flee from angry mob. Never set up Solars.
|description=Set the engine on fire. Never set up Solars.
|difficulty=Easy to Medium
|difficulty=Easy to Medium
|access=[[Engineering]], [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Engineering]], [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Quartermaster]]
|title=[[Quartermaster]]
|description=Ignore the crew's requests, whine about having no money. Buy beer and guns, shoot yourself when drunk.
|description=Order twenty crates at once, die in space after trying to manually dislodge them.
|difficulty=Medium
|difficulty=Medium
|access=[[Cargo Bay]], [[Maintenance]], Supplies}}
|access=[[Cargo Bay]], [[Maintenance]], Supplies}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Medical Doctor]]
|title=[[Medical Doctor]]
|description=Never heal anyone, whine about people taking med-kits. Murder people who insult the HS.  
|description=Never heal anyone, whine about people taking med-kits.  
|difficulty=Medium
|difficulty=Medium
|access=[[Medbay]]}}
|access=[[Medbay]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Scientist]]
|title=[[Scientist]]
|description=Ignore the Artifact Lab. Set [[Chemistry]] on fire. Set [[Toxins]] on fire. Set the [[Teleporter Lab]] on fire. Set yourself on fire.
|description=Ignore the Artifact Lab. Scream about starting an Expedition, lock all the suckers into the tele lab and space them.
|difficulty=Hard
|difficulty=Hard
|access=[[Artifact Lab]], [[Chemistry]], [[Toxins]], [[Research Sector]], [[Teleporter Lab]]}}
|access=[[Artifact Lab]], [[Chemistry]], [[Toxins]], [[Research Sector]], [[Pathology]], [[Teleporter Lab]]}}


|}
|}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Security Officer]]
|title=[[Security Officer]]
|description=Beat the utter shit out of the [[Janitor]]. Hold the Stun Baton wrong.
|description=Beat the utter shit out of the [[Janitor]]. Imprison yourself in the Gen Pop.
|difficulty=Soul Crushing
|difficulty=Soul Crushing
|access=[[Maintenance]], [[Security]], [[Brig]]}}
|access=[[Maintenance]], [[Security]], [[Brig]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Chief Engineer]]
|title=[[Chief Engineer]]
|description=Sacrifice your staff to the Singularity. Set up the emitters wrong.
|description=Realize you have no clue how to start the engine, die in a fire.
|difficulty=Medium
|difficulty=Medium
|access=[[Engineering]], [[Electronics]], [[Bridge]], [[Mining Outpost|Mining]], [[EVA]], [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Engineering]], [[Electronics]], [[Bridge]], [[Mining Outpost|Mining]], [[EVA]], [[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Research Director]]
|title=[[Research Director]]
|description='''Do nothing worthwhile for anyone ever.''' Stab your bee, get stung back and die.
|description=Complain about not having your bomb, try and pick a fight with your Bee.
|difficulty=Medium to Hard
|difficulty=Medium to Hard
|access=[[Medbay]], [[Research Sector|Research]], [[Genetics]], [[Artifact Lab|Artifacts]], [[Toxins]], [[Chemistry]], [[Teleporter Lab|Telescience]], [[Teleporter Room|Teleporter]], [[Bridge]]}}
|access=[[Medbay]], [[Research Sector|Research]], [[Genetics]], [[Artifact Lab|Artifacts]], [[Toxins]], [[Chemistry]], [[Teleporter Lab|Telescience]], [[Pathology]], [[Teleporter Room|Teleporter]], [[Bridge]]}}


{{Job
{{Job
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Captain]]
|title=[[Captain]]
|description=Get drunk, reprogram the AI into a dog. Throw the authentication disk at the Syndicate.
|description=Get drunk, reprogram the AI into a dog. Throw the authentication disk at the Syndicates.
|difficulty=Nightmarish
|difficulty=Nightmarish
|access=Everything}}
|access=Everything}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Vampire]]
|title=[[Vampire]]
|description=Accidentally stand in the Chapel and melt.
|description=Stand in the Chapel.
|difficulty=Medium to Hard
|difficulty=Medium to Hard
|access=Depends}}
|access=Depends}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[AI]]
|title=[[AI]]
|description=Get bored. Open doors. Release the singularity.
|description=Get bored. Open doors. Turn the airbridges off.
|difficulty=Psychologically Devastating
|difficulty=Psychologically Devastating
|access=Everything}}
|access=Everything}}

Revision as of 00:12, 3 March 2013

These are all the jobs you can fuck up choose.

Civilian Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access


Jobass.png Staff Assistant Fight everyone, ruin everything. Easy Maintenance
64px Chef Deep fry the entire station. Fight the Botanists over tomatos. Easy Kitchen
Jobchap.png Chaplain Jump out the mass driver to visit the AI. Never be around when you are actually needed. Easy Chapel
Jobbar.png Barman Get drunk, try to shoot the bar patrons with your revolver. Get subsequently looted. Easy Bar
Botanist.png Botanist Grow slurrypods, smoke a weed erreyday. Ignore the Chef, chainsaw yourself. Easy to Medium Hydroponics Maintenance
Jobjan.png Janitor Clean already clean floors, whine about beatings. Stuff people everything into your trash cart. Easy to Hard Janitor's Closet, Maintenance


Maintenance Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobelec.png Electrician Ask nicely to scan the thermals. Run off with them. Medium Electronics, Maintenance
Jobeng.png Engineer Set the engine on fire. Never set up Solars. Easy to Medium Engineering, Maintenance
Jobminer.png Miner Completely ignore the asteroid field, fuck off into space. Run out of air. Easy to Medium Engineering, Mining, Maintenance
Jobqmas.png Quartermaster Order twenty crates at once, die in space after trying to manually dislodge them. Medium Cargo Bay, Maintenance, Supplies


Research Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
64px Medical Doctor Never heal anyone, whine about people taking med-kits. Medium Medbay
64px Geneticist Scatter a load of injectors labelled "Hulk TK!". Watch and laugh, then get beat up. Hard Genetics, Medbay
Jobrob.png Roboticist Steal all the metal, cry because nobody wants to be a robot. Hard Robotics, Medbay, Maintenance
Jobsci.png Scientist Ignore the Artifact Lab. Scream about starting an Expedition, lock all the suckers into the tele lab and space them. Hard Artifact Lab, Chemistry, Toxins, Research Sector, Pathology, Teleporter Lab


Personnel Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobsec.png Security Officer Beat the utter shit out of the Janitor. Imprison yourself in the Gen Pop. Soul Crushing Maintenance, Security, Brig
Jobdet.png Detective Get drunk. Take photos. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later. Easy Detective's Office, Brig
Jobceng.png Chief Engineer Realize you have no clue how to start the engine, die in a fire. Medium Engineering, Electronics, Bridge, Mining, EVA, Maintenance
Jobhor.png Research Director Complain about not having your bomb, try and pick a fight with your Bee. Medium to Hard Medbay, Research, Genetics, Artifacts, Toxins, Chemistry, Telescience, Pathology, Teleporter, Bridge
Hos2012.gif Head of Security Get rehired, remind everyone why you were fired in the first place. Harder than Hard Everything + Head of Security's Office, Armory, Solitary
64px Head of Personnel Steal a Space Suit one minute into the shift. Disappear forever. Medium to Hard May as well be everything
Capn2x.png Captain Get drunk, reprogram the AI into a dog. Throw the authentication disk at the Syndicates. Nightmarish Everything


Antagonist Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobtrait.png Traitor Buy a glowy sword. Hit yourself with the glowy sword. Medium to Hard Depends
Dracula.png Vampire Stand in the Chapel. Medium to Hard Depends
Joboper.png Nuclear Operative Speak over the radio two minutes in. Leave the shuttle without a breath mask. Hard Maintenance
64px Wizard Run around trying to kill everyone, get electrocuted by the AI. Whine, respawn, repeat. Easy to Hard Walk through walls
Changeling.png Changeling Get caught five minutes into the round. Fight other changelings and lose. Hard Depends
Jobspy.png Spy Lose your PDA, implant braindead people. Remind everyone why they got rid of Rev. Hard Depends
64px Gang Member Join the gang with the coolest hats. Get murdered by the biggest gang. Never tag anything. Hard Depends


Special Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Fancy2x.gif AI Get bored. Open doors. Turn the airbridges off. Psychologically Devastating Everything
64px Cyborg Scream at the crew to make upgrades, forget to recharge. Ignore the AI. Hard Everything
Jobmonkey.png Monkey Become the Chef's assistant. Get put on the spike for burgers cake. Nightmarish Depends
Ghost.png Ghost Rotate chairs, whine in deadchat, rave about omnighosts. None Irrelevant


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