Traitor Objectives
The shadowy Syndicate needs you to get its dirty work done. Are you up to the task?
Your Objective
Elimination
Assassination
You are given a name or list of names of crewmembers to murder. SS13 is a leaky deathtrap with no shortage of harmful things, in addition to the dazzling array of gear at your fingertips. Get creative. If you really need help, check out the guide to murder. If a round is chaotic, as most are, you often have a chance at lucking out and having your target die from a completely unrelated matter. Just remember to ensure the corpse of your victims won't be revived.
Note that borging the target or turning them into an AI still counts as assassinating them; after all, if whatever killed them hadn't done the job, extracting the brain would have. Depending on how the AI has been subverted, this can either result in some rudimentary, if limited, mindslaves or hilariously and spectacularly backfire.
Job Genocide
Like assassination, but instead you must kill off members of a given job. This includes people are members of the targeted job at roundstart and people who late-join as a member of the targeted job, but not the people are transferred to the job. If no one is a member of the targeted job at the beginning of the round, and no one joins as one, your objective is considered complete.
Off the Heads of Staff
You must assassinate the Captain, Head of Personnel, Head of Security, Medical Director, Chief Engineer, and Research Director, essentially doing a one-man Revolution. If they get turned into silicon lifeforms, they'll count as eliminated.
Antagonist Supremacy
You must kill off other antagonists. Traitors, changelings, blobs, wraiths, you name it, you must eliminate it.
Kill Monsieur Stirstir
You must kill the monkey named Monsieur Stirstir, easily recognizable by his orange beret. He is almost always locked up in the Brig and for good reason. Normal monkeys are already quite vicious, but Monsieur Stirstir is especially so, truly putting the "bust" in "robust".
Luckily, being an NPC, Stirstir isn't too smart. For example, he doesn't try to escape if you detonate a bomb next to him or put in him in an airless room. Nor does he try to run away if you set him on fire with a flamethrower. More entertainingly, if you hand him a (loaded) Russian revolver, attack him, and run away, he'll try to shoot you with it and inevitably shoot himself.
Stealing a Unique Item
RCD
One begins in EVA and one is in the Chief Engineer's office.
Hand Teleporter
A hand teleporter spawns in the Captain's personal storage, one in the RD's closet, and two more in the teleporter room.
Jumpsuit
You have to steal the jumpsuit from either the Captain, the Head of Personnel, the Chief Engineer, the Head of Security, or the Research Director. All Heads except for the Head of Personnel have a closet in their office containing a reserve uniform. If there is no Head of Security, then the only way to get into his locker and take his jumpsuit is with an emag.
Note: The suits cannot be made, and if the pre-existing ones are destroyed in some way, this objective cannot be completed.
Optical Thermal Scanners
One spawns in the Head of Security's office, inside their equipment locker, and another spawns in the Detective's Office, inside the forensic equipment locker. In addition, the Armory usually has a few pairs on one of the racks.
Steal the AI's neural net processor
You have to steal the AI's Neural Net Processor (its brain). The easiest way to do this is to walk in and smash a window to get to the AI, but you may have to get creative if the AI sees you coming and locks the shutters down. To actually get the processor, simply use a head id, a crowbar, a wrench, and then an open hand on the AI itself (in that order). See Killing the AI for more information.
Destroy/Shutdown all cyborgs
See Killing the AI for some thoughts. On a given round the station may start with up to three cyborgs. Disabling the robotics lab or the roboticist will help prevent others from appearing. Getting your hands on the Roboticist's ID will also make it easier to shut down existing robots.
Note: If you end up becoming a cyborg yourself, you do not need to kill yourself or be unborged to complete this objective.
Ensure no cloned personnel survive
Make sure no cloned crew survive. The easiest, most surefire but rather dullest way is to disable the cloning lab by throwing a bomb into it at roundstart and making sure there Mechanics can't make a copy of it, but there's plenty of alternatives. Cutting off power to the lab, sabotaging the cloning pod with nasty chemicals, making a hitlist of all clones, the sky's the limit. And yes, if they get turned into robotic lifeforms, they count as not cloned. Note: If you end up getting cloned yourself, you do not need to kill yourself to complete this objective.
Destroy the Captain's prized bonsai tree
What it says on the tin. Break into the captain's quarters and ruin his beloved potted plant by attacking it with a blunt object or wirecutters. Simple, huh? Just don't get caught!
Free Monsieur Stirstir
See that monkey in the Brig with the orange beret and jumpsuit? You have to make sure he lives to board the shuttle and make it to Central Command.
Getting into the Brig is easy enough. Usually, you can just ask Security to hand him over to you, no questions asked. Failing that, you can always hack or Emag your way in. Of course, why not go beyond that? This is the perfect opportunity to re-enact your favorite Hollywood-heist film. For example, perhaps you could "recruit" some accomplices, blast your way into the Brig guns blazing, and steal Stirstir before anyone can even realize what's going on, Maintenance Doggs-style.
Once you find Stirstir, actually getting him to the shuttle is a bit tricky. Luckily, you have a plethora of options. You can always just pull him to Escape, if you're fine with him occasionally breaking your pull and escaping your grasp occasionally. Smart players often shove into a locker, lock or weld it so he can't escape, and slowly, but surely pull/push it to the shuttle. Smarter ones put him in a Port-A-Brig or weld him into a Port-A-Sci, so they can just teleport him. If you have a hand tele, you can also just throw him into a portal to a beacon in the Escape Arm.
Gimmick
Some times, you will receive a "gimmick" objective, such as "Start a weapons trade", or "Steal back any Syndicate Items confiscated by Security". These objectives will (Or should, thanks to A+ coding) always succeed, no matter if you actuality even tried to do them or not, so you can just view these objectives as "freebies".
Escaping
Escape on the Shuttle Alive
Simply be on the escape shuttle, alive, at the moment it arrives at Centcom. Playing it safe by grabbing a space suit and lingering outside the shuttle during its departure countdown and jumping on board at the last moment can avoid some unnecessary frustration, but it's not going to protect you during the 2 min the shuttle spends in transit. Try not to get thrown from the shuttle or pushed out the airlock. Given the crew's violent tendencies, you'd be well-advised to pack a gun or similar self-defense gear to increase your chances of survival.
Stay Alive
Simply be alive, anywhere, when the round ends. Given the general chaos of the Escape Shuttle and the propensity for the Escape Arm to be bombed, you may be safer trying to stay on the station.
Die a Glorious Death
Be dead when the round ends. Go nuts!
Hijack the Emergency Shuttle by Escaping Alone
Likely the hardest objective any traitor can face. When the shuttle arrives at Centcom, you must be the only person on it who is alive. (If there're Ghost Critters, they're okay--you don't have to kill them). Typically accomplished through a horrific rampage that simply kills everyone on board, stockpiling on lasers and a spacesuit and murdering anyone who approaches the escape arm, a subverted AI and an army of killbots, or some combination of all three. The escape arm's access can be thoroughly sabotaged but watch out for miners and pods that typically show up a few minutes before the shuttle departs. An emag will be very helpful as it lowers the shuttle's departure countdown and the duration of the flight itself to 10 seconds each - use the emag again once the shuttle has undocked from the station.