Difference between revisions of "Jobs"

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m (readded some of the stuff)
(Strikethrough font is funny only when used sparingly and when you actually make a joke instead of crossing out already good jokes. Cut out all the non-funny instances of that.)
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Staff Assistant]]
|title=[[Staff Assistant]]
|description=Do not ever do anything fun, log out when you don't get the job you wanted. Try and form a vigilantee army to fight the antagonist. Use it as an excuse to fight Security.
|description=Don't ever do anything fun, log out when you don't get the job you wanted. Try and form a vigilante army to fight the antagonist. Use it as an excuse to fight Security.
|difficulty=Easy
|difficulty=Easy
|access=[[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Maintenance]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Chef]]
|title=[[Chef]]
|description=<strike>Give people food poisoning,</strike> Deep fry everyone and everything.<strike>Yell at the Botanists for not growing tomatoes, fight them for the seed dispenser.</strike>
|description=Give people food poisoning, Deep fry everyone and everything.Yell at the Botanists for not growing tomatoes, fight them for the seed dispenser.
|difficulty=Easy
|difficulty=Easy
|access=[[Kitchen]]}}
|access=[[Kitchen]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Barman]]
|title=[[Barman]]
|description=Sit in the bar for ten minutes before abandoning it. Try and shoot the Bar Patrons with your revovler, get robbed.
|description=Sit in the bar for ten minutes before abandoning it. Try and shoot the Bar Patrons with your revolver, get robbed.
|difficulty=Easy
|difficulty=Easy
|access=[[Bar]]}}
|access=[[Bar]]}}
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|imgwidth=64
|imgwidth=64
|title=[[Botanist]]
|title=[[Botanist]]
|description=<strike>Grow slurrypods, smoke a weed erreyday.</strike> Chainsaw people.
|description=Grow slurrypods, smoke a weed erreyday. Chainsaw people. Chainsaw yourself.
|difficulty=Easy to Medium
|difficulty=Easy to Medium
|access=[[Hydroponics|Hydroponics]] [[Maintenance]]}}
|access=[[Hydroponics|Hydroponics]] [[Maintenance]]}}

Revision as of 22:25, 31 January 2013

These are all the jobs you can fuck up choose.

Civilian Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access


Jobass.png Staff Assistant Don't ever do anything fun, log out when you don't get the job you wanted. Try and form a vigilante army to fight the antagonist. Use it as an excuse to fight Security. Easy Maintenance
64px Chef Give people food poisoning, Deep fry everyone and everything.Yell at the Botanists for not growing tomatoes, fight them for the seed dispenser. Easy Kitchen
Jobchap.png Chaplain Never use your secret room or mass driver, run around hitting people with a bible. Never be around when you are actually needed. Easy Chapel
Jobbar.png Barman Sit in the bar for ten minutes before abandoning it. Try and shoot the Bar Patrons with your revolver, get robbed. Easy Bar
Botanist.png Botanist Grow slurrypods, smoke a weed erreyday. Chainsaw people. Chainsaw yourself. Easy to Medium Hydroponics Maintenance
Jobjan.png Janitor Clean already clean floors, whine about beatings. Stuff people everything into your trash cart. Easy to Hard Janitor's Closet, Maintenance


Maintenance Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobelec.png Electrician Convince security to let you make loads of security equipment, rob security after they refuse. Block off escape with vending machines. Medium Electronics, Maintenance
Jobeng.png Engineer Release the Singularity, flee from angry mob. Never set up Solars. Easy to Medium Engineering, Maintenance
Jobminer.png Miner Completely ignore the asteroid field, fuck off into space. Get killed in thirty seconds because you didn't setup internals. Easy to Medium Engineering, Mining, Maintenance
Jobqmas.png Quartermaster Ignore the crew's requests, whine about having no money after you buy weapons, fuck off somewhere and never do your job. Medium Cargo Bay, Maintenance, Supplies


Research Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
64px Medical Doctor Never heal anyone voluntarily aside from the Captain and Security, complain about people taking med-kits nobody is using. Stuff dead bodies into the sleeper. Medium Medbay
64px Geneticist Under no circumstance do you ever clone anyone, spend all round being a monkey. Hard Genetics, Medbay
Jobrob.png Roboticist Spend all round upgrading cyborgs, make medical doctors even more useless by building a med-bot. Hard Robotics, Medbay, Maintenance
Jobsci.png Scientist Ignore the Artifact Lab.Set Chemistry on fire. Set Toxins on fire. Set the Teleporter Lab on fire. Set yourself on fire. Never go into the mixing room, sit in chemistry the whole match. Hard Artifact Lab, Chemistry, Toxins, Research Sector, Teleporter Lab


Personnel Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobsec.png Security Officer Be an ass, brig assistants for farting. Hold a Stun Baton the wrong way Soul Crushing Maintenance, Security, Brig
Jobdet.png Detective Never do any forensics ever, beg the captain or HoP for security access, get it, be terrible. Chase an assistant around for thirty minutes while a Traitor kills everyone. Easy Detective's Office, Brig
Jobceng.png Chief Engineer Be a constant annoyance in the hallways using your boots, tell the engineers to setup the engine and hope for the best while you run off to the bridge or EVA. Medium Engineering, Electronics, Bridge, Mining, EVA, Maintenance
Jobhor.png Research Director Determine the purpose of the valve via the scientific method. Medium to Hard Medbay, Research, Genetics, Artifacts, Toxins, Chemistry, Telescience, Teleporter, Bridge
Hos2012.gif Head of Security Be a super cop and never reprimand security for being idiotic unless they aren't following your orders. get robbed by an Assistant because no one responded to your calls for backup Harder than Hard Everything + Head of Security's Office, Armory, Solitary
64px Head of Personnel Be terrible and give yourself an all access ID without asking, avoid doing your job at all costs. Steal a Space Suit and disappear forever. Medium to Hard May as well be everything
Capn2x.png Captain Try to be a super cop, fail miserably. Wake in the Bar drunk just after you were robbed of everything Nightmarish Everything


Antagonist Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobtrait.png Traitor Do nothing most of the round because you're paranoid that the AI is watching you, get locked down by the AI. Medium to Hard Depends
Dracula.png Vampire Go on a quest for light-bulb genocide. Ultimately do nothing. Medium to Hard Depends
Joboper.png Nuclear Operative Speak over the radio two minutes in, leave the shuttle without a breath mask. Release the singularity, fly into it later. Hard Maintenance
64px Wizard Run around trying to kill everyone, get electrocuted by the AI, die. Easy to Hard Walk through walls
Changeling.png Changeling Get caught five minutes into the match, disable all cameras, get stunned by another changeling in disguise, die. Hard Depends
Jobspy.png Spy Lose your PDA, implant braindead people. Remind everyone why they got rid of Rev. Hard Depends


Special Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Fancy2x.gif AI Hunt down every antagonist role, ruin the round. Psychologically Devastating Everything
64px Cyborg Ignore the AI. Scream at the crew to make upgrades, forget to recharge. Hard Everything
Jobmonkey.png Monkey Become the Chef's assistant. Get put on the spike for burgers cake. Nightmarish Depends
Ghost.png Ghost Rotate chairs, whine in deadchat, rave about omnighosts. None Irrelevant


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