User:Nnystyxx

Food is what you eat. Drinks are what you drink. Here is a comprehensive (but still incomplete) list of items and recipes for the chef to utilize and the crew to enjoy. Just remember that side-effects are by no means unknown or uncommon.

Snacks

Icon	Name	Available from	Info	Buffs
	Donut	Vendor, kitchen	Frosted donuts give double the HP recovery to security officers. <Insert Joke>
	Chips	Vendor		TBA
	Candy	Vendor	uhgg	TBA
	Fries	Vendor, kitchen		TBA
	Popcorn	Kitchen		TBA
	Onion chips	Kitchen		TBA
	Nougat bar	Kitchen		TBA
	Granola bar	Kitchen		TBA
	Hetz' Cup	Kitchen		TBA
	Candy apple	Kitchen		TBA
	Candy cane	Kitchen		TBA
	Yoghurt	Kitchen	Requires spoon.	TBA
	Pickle	Kitchen
	Candy heart	Quartermaster	Flavored chalk with inscriptions such as "Robust Me" and "Love Transfer Valve". 4-5 in every box!
	Descuento Danito's Burritos	Snacks Vendor	Available in many different flavours. Comes with an integral heating mechanism.
	Discount Dan's Quik-Noodles	Snacks Vendor	Literally poison. Also equipped with a heater.
	Hungry Dan's TV Dinners	Snacks Vendor	Yum. Also equipped with a heater.
	Lollipop	Medbay	A healthy snack containing a small amount of medicine, such as charcoal or saline.
	Pope Crunch	Crew quarters	Extremely crunchy! Can be eaten directly from the box, or mixed with milk in a bowl.
	Apple	Hydroponics		TBA
	Banana	Hydroponics	Peel it first!
	Orange	Hydroponics		TBA
	Lemon	Hydroponics		TBA
	Lime	Hydroponics		TBA
	Strawberry	Hydroponics		TBA
	Avocado	Hydroponics		TBA
	Grapes	Hydroponics		TBA
	Melon slice	Hydroponics	Slice a watermelon with something sharp to get six of these.
	Honey	Hydroponics	Produced by space bees. Taste may vary, depending on the plant that provided the nectar.
	Carrot	Hydroponics		TBA
	Slurryfruit	Hydroponics	Poisonous!
	Eggplant	Hydroponics		TBA
	Coconut meat	Hydroponics	Break open a coconut to these loads of these and a handy cup.
	Pineapple slice	Hydroponics	No salt needed. Cut a pineapple to get one of these.
	Bamboo shoot	Hydroponics	Slice a bamboo stalk to get one of these.
	?????	Incompetent chef	Contains ???? (reagent). The result of a bad recipe, probably shouldn't eat this...
	Smoldering Mess	Incompetent chef	Also contains ????. The result of overcooking or -frying something.

Drinks

Icon	Name	Type	Available from	Info
	Booze-O-Mat	N/A	Bar	Dispenses booze and cocktail accessories. Doesn't have any ID restrictions.
	Space beer	Alcohol	Bar
	Fancy beer	Alcohol	Bar	Contains beer plus a number of random chemicals.
	Cider	Alcohol	Bar
	Mead	Alcohol	Bar
	Wine	Alcohol	Bar
	Hobo wine	Alcohol	???	Contains wine plus a number of random chemicals.
	Vodka	Alcohol	Bar
	Gin	Alcohol	Bar
	Tequila	Alcohol	Bar
	Champagne	Alcohol	Bar	Hit pods, segways or other vehicles with the harm intent to rename them.
	Rum	Alcohol	Bar	Spaced rum bottles also contain yobihodazine.
	Bo Jack Daniel's	Alcohol	Bar	A real man's drink!
	Stinkeye's Special Reserve	Alcohol	???	A favourite of captains everywhere.
	Egg nog	Other	Bar, kitchen
	Milk	Other	Kitchen
	Space cola	Soda	Vendor, kitchen
	Decirprevo Bottled Water	Soda	Vendor
	Robust-Eez	Soda	Vendor	Contains methamphetamine.
	Grife-O	Soda	Vendor
	Dr. Pubber	Soda	Vendor
	Grones Soda	Soda	Vendor	Comes in random flavours.
	Spooky Dan's	Soda	Vendor	Two flavours on offer. Neither are industrial runoff, nope!
	Orange-Aid	Soda	Vendor	Contains oculine.
	Lime-Aid	Other	Vendor	Contains antihol.
	Robust Coffee	Other	Vendor
	Happy Elf Hot Chocolate	Other	Vendor
	Chicken Soup	Other	Vendor	Can cure minor diseases.
	Weight-Loss Shake	Other	Vendor	Contains lipolicide.
	Tea	Other	Vendor
	Wired Dan's Kafe Kick	Other	Hacked Vendor	A daily fix of drugs and poison, diluted with water. Banned by the Space FDA.
	Mugwort tea	Other	Wizard	A bitter tea with magical protective properties. Heals wizards.

Dispenser

The alcohol and soda dispensers offer a convenient way to prepare alcoholic and non-alcoholic refreshments. They have an essentially infinite supply of various drinks and operate like the machines in chemistry. That comes in handy, because many commercial products contain more than one reagent and it would otherwise be difficult to isolate specifically what you want for e. g. cake icing. And of course, they will also be useful if you decide to turn the kitchen/bar into a makeshift laboratory. A barman's job also isn't complete unless you know how to make people drunk off fancy recipes and how to present your creations properly. To that end, umbrellas, wedges and other doodads can be added to every drinking glass.

Most of these drinks can be made just with just the dispenser, but not all of them. For drinks with coffee, it's best it get coffee from the coffee machines (the green-colored vending machines) rather than fool around with the espresso machine. Drinks with sugar need sugar from the chemical or soda dispensers, not the sugar used by the Chef. For drinks with more exotic ingredients, you may need the chem dispenser (which is usually right near the alcohol and soda dispenser) and a beaker, since the chem dispenser doesn't accept drinkware. Luckily, there's usually a large one around right on top of it, and your glass recycler can make beakers.

Item	Icon	Recipe	Info
Fruit wedges		/ / +	Also available in fruit wedge kits from BoozeVends
Maraschino cherry		+
Cola		Water + Sugar + Carbon + Oxygen
Lemonade		Lemon juice + Sugar
Limeade		Lime juice + Sugar
Egg nog		Egg + Sugar + Milk
Chocolate milk		Chocolate + Milk
Strawberry milk		Strawberry juice + Milk
Sweet tea		Tea + Sugar
Half and Half		Sweet Tea + Lemon juice
Tea with honey		Tea + Honey
Tea with mint		Tea + Mint
Triple Citrus		Lemon j. + Lime j. + Orange juice
Screwdriver		Vodka + Orange juice
Sex on the Beach		Screwdriver + Cranberry juice
Vodka Gimlet		Vodka + Lime juice
Cosmopolitan		Vodka Gimlet + Cranberry juice
Bloody Mary		Vodka + Tomato juice
Bloody Scary		Vodka + Changeling blood
Vodka Martini		Vodka + Vermouth
Vodka Tonic		Vodka + Tonic water	Is completely transparent in color. Right-click to pick up.
Mind Eraser		Vodka Tonic + Coffee
Black Russian		Vodka + Coffee
White Russian	File:WhiteRussian.png	Black Russian + Milk
Suicider		Vodka + Cider + Epinephrine + Welding fuel	Can also be extracted or distilled from omega weed.
Port		Vodka + Wine + Sugar + Iron	Has a chance to teleport you at random.
Bilk		Beer + Milk
Beepskybräu		Beer + Nanomachines	Can also be distilled from roburgers.
BOOrbon		Bourbon + Ectoplasm
Whiskey Sour	File:WhiskeySour.png	Bourbon + Lemonade
Manhattan		Bourbon + Vermouth + Bitters
Hunchback		Bourbon + Cola + Tomato juice	See Chemistry.
Irish Coffee		Bourbon + Coffee + Sugar + Milk
Old Fashioned		Bourbon + Bitters + Sugar + Water
Jean Harlow		Rum + Vermouth
Planter's Punch		Rum + Lemonade
Mai Tai		Rum + Lime juice + Orange juice
Space-Cuba Libre		Rum + Lime juice + Cola
Daiquiri		Rum + Lime juice + Sugar	Try adding the rum first, so you don't accidentally make limeade.
Piña Colada		Rum + Coconut milk + Pineapple juice
Gin and Tonic		Gin + Tonic water	Is completely transparent in color. Right-click to pick up.
Gin Fizz		Gin + Lemon juice + Water
Pink Gin and Tonic		Gin and Tonic + Bitters
Gin and Chronic		Gin and Tonic + Tetrahydrocannabinol	Decays into THC as well as ethanol.
Gin and Sonic		Gin and Tonic + Methamphetamine	Decays into meth as well as ethanol.
Tequini		Tequila + Vermouth
Brave Bull		Tequila + Coffee
Prairie Fire		Tequila + Capsaicin	Decays into capsaicin as well as ethanol.
Margarita		Tequila + Lime juice + Orange juice
Long Beach Iced Tea		Tequila + Sex on the Beach + Rum + Gin + Lemon j.
Long Island Iced Tea		Tequila + Screwdriver + Rum + Gin + Lemon j. + Cola
Gimlet		Gin + Lime juice
Martini		Gin + Vermouth
Negroni		Martini + Bitters
Necroni		Negroni + Ectoplasm
French 75		Gin + Champagne + Lemonade
Mimosa		Champagne + Orange juice
Mint Julep		Bourbon + Sugar + Mint
Mojito		Daiquiri + Mint
Crème de Menthe		Vodka + Sugar + Mint
Grasshopper		Crème de Menthe + Vanilla + Chocolate	Turns you into a roach for an amount of time proportionate to how long it was in your system.
Tom Collins		Gin and Tonic + Lemonade
Sangria		Planter's Punch + Wine + Orange juice
Murdini		Martini + Apple juice + Suicider
Ecto Cooler		Ectoplasm + Uranium + Orange juice	Decays into VHFCS and has a chance to produce strange green goop as well, which allows you to see ghosts.
Squeeze		Bread (reagent) + Welding fuel	Stuns and infects the consumer with food poisoning.

Still

Since the introduction of said dispensers, the still has fallen a bit out of favour - but that should not discourage a creative barman, as the apparatus is a decent option to move large amount of booze and get people horribly drunk elsewhere. Opening a counter in the market for example usually attracts more customers than the bar itself, thanks to its central location. Just don't forget to bring plenty of spare glasses and bottles with you!

Item	Recipe	Info
Beer	/	Steel wheat also produces iron.
Beepskybräu
Cider
Mead
Wine	/	Green grapes make white wine.
Vodka
Bourbon
Rice wine
Rum	/
Tea
Cat drugs
Menthol
THC	(any type)	Other reagents: LSD (rainbow weed), omnizine (lifeweed), cyanide (deathweed).
Drug cocktail		Yields THC, LSD, suicider, space drugs, mercury, lithium, atropine, haloperidol, meth, capsaicin, psilocybin, hairgrownium, ectoplasm, bath salts, itching powder, crank, krokodil, cat drugs and histamine. Fun for the whole family!
????		Yields all sorts chemicals. Ones that make you talk backwards, ones that set your mouth on fire, ones that set you on fire, all sorts of random fun! (but mostly literal sewage)

Espresso Machine

Some people don't want just coffee, served in a regular ol' plastic cup from a regular ol' coffee machine. They want special coffee, the kind that comes with milk and other things, the kind that is served in a different plastic cup and dispensed by a machine with weird foreign names for drinks. This espresso machine is for those sorts of people. Thankfully, its operation is simple: just insert a cup from the rack nearby, choose Make espresso, and choose any of the options below. It's easy to be a Space Starbucks barista!

If the machine runs out of water, just unscrew the cap from the top with an empty hand, and click on the machine with a container full of water. Then, screw the cap back on.

Just don't expect to be making any Irish Coffee or any of the cocktails with coffee using this stuff. Again, those actually need the regular coffee from coffee machines.

Setting	Description
Espresso	Just 10 units of standard espresso coffee. Very different from regular coffee.
Latte	A little bit of espresso, with lots of milk. Really milk with coffee at that point.
Mocha	Half espresso, half milk and chocolate milk.
Cappuccino	Espresso, with a good amount (6.5 units) of milk.
Americano	Espresso, diluted with a good bit of water.
Decaf	10 units of espresso coffee, decaf, without the caffeine.
Flat White	Espresso with a little less milk than what a cappucino would have.

Other Food-Related Items

Icon	Name	Info
	Kitchen vendor	Offers a wide selection of basic ingredients and other catering supplies. Doesn't have any ID restrictions.
	Kitchenware recycler	Recycles glass shards. The machine can manufacture a variety of different glasses as well as plates.
	Hotdog cart	Used to easily take large amounts of food out of the kitchen and hand it to people. Can only be opened by people with kitchen access.
	Drinking glass	All functionally similar, but drinks served in shot glasses are downed in one big gulp instead of little sips. Breaks into shards when thrown.
	Coconut shell	A coconut shell bowl that can hold 50 units of alcohol. Perfect for mixed drinks! Ask Hydroponics to grow some coconuts for these.
	Pitcher	For refilling those drinking glasses. It holds 120 units.
	Plate	Dinner is served, sir.
	Bowl	For holding food, such as cereal or gruel.
	Spoon	Needed to eat certain dishes.
	Fork	Needed to eat certain dishes.
	Knife	Used for slaughtering animals and cutting certain items.
	Pizza Cutter	Used for cutting certain items, particularly pizza into slices. Suitable for surgery.
	Rolling pin	Required to prepare pizza bases.
	Shakers	Add salt or pepper for the perfect flavour.
	Condiment bottles	Standard condiments in the form of ketchup and mustard.
File:IcingTube.png	Icing tube	Used for, you guessed it, adding icing to a cake. Accepts 50 units of any liquid.
	Produce satchel	This spacious satchel makes the life of every chef or botanist much easier. Almost any type of food-related item (dishes, bottles, seeds etc.) can be stored in them, and they also interact nicely with tables (drag & drop), crates, the food processor, mail chutes and other objects.
	Banana peel	Slippery. Created from peeling a banana, obviously!
	Fish	Can be used to slap people around.

Chef's Cookbook

Here's where the real fun starts. While most of the ingredients needed by the chef should either be available in your kitchen or can grown for you in hydroponics, some recipes may require items from elsewhere on the station. A fair number of recipes also have downsides, so be wary of food poisoning and other nasty occurrences.

Ingredients

Short list of items that will be your basic ingredients, many of which can also be ordered in a crate from quartermasters.

Icon	Name	Buffs
	Flour	Kitchen or process from wheat.
	Sugar	Kitchen or process from sugarcane.
	Oatmeal	Kitchen or process from oats.
	Semolina Flour	Process from durum wheat.
	Donk pockets	Kitchen. Contains 6x (cold)
	Bacon strips	Kitchen. Contains 7x
	Human meat	Kitchen
	Monkey meat	Kitchen
	Synthetic meat	Hydroponics
	Fish Fillet	Comes in different kinds.
	Mystery meat	Raking through gibs - dubious nutritional value!
	Chicken nugget	Kitchen. May be used in place of mystery meat in most specific recipes.
	Brain	Robotics
	Synthbrain	Hydroponics
	Heart	Robotics
	Cyberheart	Robotics
	Synthheart	Hydroponics
	Butt	Hydroponics, robotics
	Cyberbutt	Robotics
	Pumpkin	Hydroponics
	Watermelon	Hydroponics
	Potato	Hydroponics
	Mushroom	Hydroponics
	Tomato	Hydroponics
	Chili pepper	Hydroponics
	Lettuce leaf	Hydroponics
	Cucumber	Hydroponics
	Carrot	Hydroponics
	Corn cob	Hydroponics
	Garlic	Hydroponics
	Onion	Hydroponics
	Coconut	Hydroponics
	Pineapple	Hydroponics
	Mint leaf	Hydroponics
	Rice	Hydroponics
	Bean pod	Hydroponics
	Egg	Kitchen
	Milk	Kitchen or process from soybean pods.
	Cheese	Kitchen
	Spaghetti	Kitchen or process from pasta sheets.
	Peanut butter	Kitchen or process from peanuts.
	Maple syrup	Kitchen

Ingredient Processing

The food processor is important too! With it, you can turn items into different forms, which may be more useful, or usable in recipes.

Produced item	Recipe	Creation method	Info	Buffs
Ectoplasm	+	+	Isolate ectoplasm (min: 10 units) from a Spooky Dan's Horrortastic bottle, pour it (min: 10 units) into a fire extinguisher and then use the HUD icon to spray all around you.
Cheese	+ +		See above. Required minimum is 10 units.
Monkey meat
Human meat
Spaghetti
Flour
Oatmeal
Semolina Flour			Must be wheat of the durum wheat mutation
Iron fillings			Condiment - can be applied to any food, making it heal more.
Chocolate chips			Condiment - can be applied to any food, making it heal more.
Sugar
Milk
Peanut butter
Yoghurt	(rancid)		Must use a bottle of rancid milk specifically. Requires spoon.
Semolina Dough
Pasta Sheet	+
Dough
Sweet dough	+
4x Cookie doughs	+		Probably shouldn't be eaten raw!
Dough strip	+		You can click on another strip with your strip to attach them back together.
Dough circle	+		Click on the dough strip in your hand.
Holey dough	+
Crumpet			3 Seconds, low.
Bagel			3 Seconds, low.
Donut	+		3 Seconds, low.
Ice cream cone	+		1 second, low
Cake batter	+ 2x
Pancake batter	+ 2x +
Loaf of bread			1 second, low
Slice of bread	+
Loaf of honey-wheat bread	+		1 second, low
Slice of honey-wheat bread	+
Loaf of banana bread	+ +		Peel the banana first! 1 second, low
Slice of banana bread	+
Loaf of Elvis bread	+ +		Peel the banana first! 6 seconds, low
Slice of Elvis bread	+
Loaf of dread	+		Spooky! 6 seconds, low
Slice of dread	+
Loaf of pumpkin bread	+		6 seconds, low
Slice of pumpkin bread	+
Loaf of northern-style cornbread	+ +		6 seconds, low
Slice of N-style cornbread	+
Loaf of southern-style cornbread	+		6 seconds, low
Slice of S-style cornbread	+
Loaf of honey cornbread	+ +		6 seconds, low
Slice of honey cornbread	+
Loaf of brain bread	+ /		6 seconds, low. Works with any combination of bread and brain.
Slice of brain bread	+
Meatball			Works with any kind of meat.	TBA
Brain meatball			Doesn't work with synthbrains.	TBA
Butt meatball			Only works with human/monkey butts.	TBA
Meat paste	/		Works with any kind of meat or fish.
4x Wonton wrappers	+
Ketchup			Condiment - can be applied to any food, making it heal more.
/ / Hot sauce	/ /		Condiment - can be applied to any food, is as spicy as the chili it came from.
Mayonnaise			Condiment - can be applied to any food, making it heal more.
Cream			Condiment - can be applied to any food, making it heal more.
Custard	+		Condiment - can be applied to any food, making it heal more.
Butter
Butt-er	+		Condiment - can be applied to any food, making it heal more.
Unfinished pizza base	+
Half-finished pizza base	+
Pizza base	+
3x Tortillas	+
6x Melon slices	+
Fish fillet	+		Different kinds of fish exist.
Chips	+		Once to peel, twice to chop into chips.
4x Onion rings	+
Pineapple ring	+
3x Coconut meat	+

Main course

This is a list of probably not remotely all of chef's dishes. Enjoy - Bork Bork Bork.

Some dishes can accept "any item" or "any food item". "Any item" does mean any item, so you can for example bake something that obviously isn't edible into a pie. Be warned that trying to put a non-food item into a dish that only accepts "a food item" will destroy the non-food item as well as ruining the recipe. Frying anything makes it a food item.

Produced item		Creation method	Time & temperature	Info	Buffs
/ / / / Toast			6 seconds, low	Most of the these recipes work with every kind of bread.
/ Cheese on toast	+		6 seconds, low
/ Bacon on toast	+		6 seconds, low
/ Eggs on toast	+ 2x		6 seconds, low
/ / Cheese sandwich	+ +		6 seconds, low
/ / Meat sandwich	+ +		6 seconds, low
/ / Peanut butter sandwich	+ +		6 seconds, low
/ Peanut butter and honey sandwich	+ + +		6 seconds, low
Egg-salad sandwich	+ +		6 seconds, low
/ / X sandwich	+ X +		6 seconds, high	Try various fillings (up to six food items) to create the ultimate sandwich! You can even mix two different types of bread for the slices.
/ / X club	+ X + +		6 seconds, high
/ / X double-decker sandwich	+ X + + +		6 seconds, high
/ / X dagwood	+ X + + + +		6 seconds, high
Meatball sub	+ + +		6 seconds, low	Works with any type of bread loaf.
Banh mi	+ + +		5 seconds, low	Works only with honeywheat bread
Hotdog	+		6 seconds, low
Herbal sausage	+		N/A	You may use any other herb, including cannabis or catnip.
/ / / / Hotdog in a bun	/ +		N/A	Appearance and taste depend on the type of sausage and bread.
/ / / / Corndog	+		N/A
Apple on a stick	+		N/A
Candy apple	+		5 seconds, low
Synthorange	+		N/A	Must use synthmeat specifically. Heals twice the amount of regular oranges.
Warm donk pocket	+		7 seconds, high
Warm donk pocket	(cold)		7 seconds, high
Warm honk-pocket	+ +		7 seconds, high	Turns your farts into honks for a short time! But it does something completely different when it's cold...
Bacon			6 seconds, high
Burger	+		6 seconds, high
Cheeseburger	+ +		7 Seconds, high
Monkey cheeseburger	+ +		7 Seconds, high	Must use monkey meat specifically.
Coronator	+ + +		9 Seconds, high
File:THE MONSTER.png THE MONSTER	+ + +		9 Seconds, low	Crazy-huge burger that will probably make you sick. And by sick, we mean dead. Slowly.
Brainburger	+ /		6 seconds, high	Infects whoever eats it with kuru.
Assburger	+ /		6 seconds, high	Now that's awkward! Contains fartonium.
Roburger	+		6 seconds, high	Also works with a light cyborg head. Infects whoever eats it with robotic transformation.
Dubious burger	+		6 seconds, high
Fishburger	+		7 seconds, high	Type of fish used doesn't matter.
Sloppy Joe	+		6 seconds, high
Baconatrix	+		6 seconds, high
Heartburger	+ / /		6 seconds, high	Works with human, monkey or synthetic hearts. Cyberhearts are also compatible.
Coconut burger	+		7 seconds, high
Luau burger	+ +		7 seconds, high
Tiki burger	+ + +		9 seconds, high
Steak			9 seconds, low	You may use synth-, monkey- or human meat.
Omelette	+ + 2x		7 seconds, high	Requires fork.
Deep-space hell omelette	+ + 2x		7 seconds, high	The space bees are not going to like this! Requires fork.
Fish fingers			9 seconds, low	The type of fish used is irrelevant.
Baked potato			9 seconds, high
Mashed potatoes	3x		N/A	Requires fork.
Fries			7 seconds, low
Bacon and eggs	2x + 2x		8 seconds, high	Requires fork.
Plain spaghetti			8 seconds, high	Requires fork.
Spaghetti in sauce	+		8 seconds, high	Requires fork.
Spaghetti in sauce	+		N/A	Requires fork.
Spaghetti arrabiata	+		8 seconds, high	Spicy! Requires fork.
Spaghetti arrabiata	+		N/A	Requires fork.
Spaghetti with meatballs	+		8 seconds, high	Requires fork.
Swedish meatballs	+ + 2x		6 seconds, high	Bork Bork Bork! Requires fork.
X pizza	+ X		N/A	The toppings may consist of any food item. Doesn't need to be baked.
6x X pizza slices	+		N/A
Sugar cookie			2 seconds, high
Oatmeal cookie	+		2 seconds, high
Chocolate-chip cookie	+		2 seconds, high
Iron cookie	+		2 seconds, high
Bacon cookie	+		2 seconds, high
Spookie	+		2 seconds, high
Jaffa cake	+ +		2 seconds, high
Sugar moon pie	2x + + +		2 seconds, high
Oatmeal moon pie	2x + + +		2 seconds, high
Chocolate moon pie	2x + + +		2 seconds, high
Iron moon pie	2x + + +		2 seconds, high
Bacon moon pie	2x + + +		2 seconds, high
Full moon pie	2x + + +		2 seconds, high
Jaffa moon cobbler	2x +		2 seconds, high
Whoopie pie	2x + +		2 seconds, high	Requires chocolate-chip cookies specifically.
Cookie with frosting	+		N/A	Works with any type of cookie or moon pie.
Nougat bar	+		5 seconds, low
Granola bar	+		5 seconds, low
Biscuit	+		4 seconds, low
English Muffin	+		N/A	Butter is optional. Cut in half with a knife.
Hardtack	+		6 seconds, high
Butter Burger	+		6 seconds, high
File:Macguffin.png Sausage MacGuffin	2x + + +		6 seconds, high
Honey Wonks	+		5 seconds, low	Can be eaten directly from the box, or mixed with milk in a bowl.
Hetz' Cup	+		N/A
Waffles	+		10 seconds, low		Energized, Very Energized
Cream pie	+		2 seconds, high	Requires spoon.
X cream pie	+ + X		2 seconds, high	Accepts any food item. Requires spoon.
Custard pie	+		2 seconds, high	Requires spoon.
Apple pie	+		2 seconds, high	Requires spoon.
Pumpkin pie	+		2 seconds, high	Requires spoon.
Lemon meringue pie	+		2 seconds, high	Requires spoon.
Key lime pie	+		2 seconds, high	Requires spoon.
Strawberry pie	+ 2x		2 seconds, high	Requires spoon.
Slurry pie	+		2 seconds, high	Requires spoon.
Bacon pie	+		2 seconds, high	Requires spoon.
Asspie	+ /		2 seconds, high	Yikes! Requires spoon.
X pie	+ + X		2 seconds, high	You may add one or two items (food or otherwise). Requires spoon.
Creamy sponge cake	+		7 seconds, high
Chocolate sponge cake	+		7 seconds, high
Meat cake	+		7 seconds, high
Bacon cake	+ 3x		7 seconds, high
Droopy cake	+ /		7 seconds, high
Fruit cake	+		7 seconds, high	A December-month exclusive.
/ Pancakes	+	+	6 seconds, high	Don't forget to add the maple syrup after cooking the pancakes!
X cake	+ X + File:IcingTube.png	+ +	6 seconds, high	Mix the cake batter and food item of your choice, then cook the unfinished batter in the oven. Add icing to finish the product.
10x X cake slices	+		N/A
/ X rangoon / eggroll	+ X		N/A	Combine the wrapper with a food item of your choice, then load it into the deep fryer. Tiny objects make a rangoon, normal-sized items an eggroll.
Fried onion ring			N/A
Onion Chips	2x + +		7 seconds, high
Popcorn	+		N/A	Heat the cob with a welding tool or other heat source until it pops.
Popcorn			N/A
X-flavoured ice cream			N/A	The machine offers three basic flavours. Alternatively, you can use a container (beaker, drinking glass, bottle etc.) with reagents of your choice.
Mashed brains	/		N/A	Good brain food! Requires fork.
Meatloaf			6 seconds, high	Requires fork.
Taco shell			6 seconds, low
Meat taco	+ + +		N/A	Most types of meat can be used, including bacon.
4x Tortilla chips			N/A	Crush an empty cooked taco shell to get four of these.
Guacamole			N/A	Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Mint chutney	+ + +		7 seconds, high	Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Oatmeal (random flavour)			7 seconds, high	Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Tomato soup	2x		6 seconds, high	Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Gruel	3x		N/A	Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Chili con queso	+		6 seconds, high	Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Chili con carne	+		6 seconds, high	Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Chili con flagration	+ + 2x		6 seconds, high	Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
El Diablo	+ + +		10 seconds, high	Warning: not for the faint of heart! Combine the con carne and flagration along with the rest of the listed ingredients. Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Cream of mushroom	+		N/A	Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Salad	2x		5 seconds, low	Requires fork.
Candy cane	+		5 seconds, low
Egg nog	3x +		5 seconds, low
Hard-Boiled Egg			4 seconds, low	The loose cannon of foods
Deviled Egg	+		N/A
Egg Salad	+ +		5 seconds, low
Haggis	+ +		9 seconds, high	Och laddie, don ya ken wha U'm sayin?
Scotch Eggs	+ +		3 seconds, high	In scotland, Scotch Eggs count as a vegetable.
Pickle			N/A
Bee Kibble	+ +		10 seconds, high	For bee larva only.
Birthday Cupcake	+ + +		10 seconds, high	For space bees only...or brave humans.
Refried Beans	+ 2x		7 seconds, high	Requires spoon.	Fart Thruster, Gassy
Rice And Beans	+		10 seconds, low	Requires spoon.	Fart Thruster, Gassy
Fried Rice	+ + +		10 seconds, low	Requires spoon.	Brute Regeneration
Omurice	+ +		8 seconds, low	Requires spoon.
Risotto	+ + +		10 seconds, low	Requires spoon.

Deep Fryer

Every food can be deep-fried, and the same applies to many other objects. In fact, pretty much anything you can think of besides containers and bulky items - experiment!

Microwave

Though rarely (if ever) used for anything, the microwave still has its place in the bar. Most people are aware of warm donk pockets, but there are also several other legacy recipes which might be of use to a barman or hungry assistants - a second unit can be found in crew quarters, and more may be deployed with the help of a mechanic.

Produced item	Recipe	Info	Buff
Donut	+
Popcorn
Waffles	2x + 2x
Custard pie	2x +	Peel the banana first! Requires spoon.
Burger	+	Possible types of meat: synth, monkey, human.
Brainburger	+	Only a monkey or human brain will work, not synthbrains! Infects whoever eats it with kuru.
Assburger	+	Doesn't work with synth- or cyberbutts.	Very Sweaty
Roburger	+	Recipe is limited to the standard cyborg head. Infects whoever eats it with robotic transformation.
Heartburger	+	Works with human and monkey hearts. Synthetic or cyberhearts are not compatible.	Very Sweaty
Meatball	+	Valid combination: 1x monkey + 1x human.
Warm donk pocket	+
Warm donk pocket	(cold)	A box of them can be found in the kitchen refrigerator. Once heated, they will stay warm for about seven minutes.

In case of an invalid or unrecognized recipe, the microwave is less forgiving than its successor. However, it's not the end of the world and both failure states can be addressed rather easily.

The microwave gets covered in muck! - Get some space cleaner. Ask the janitor or simply steal one of his spray bottles.

The microwave breaks! - Use a screwdriver on the unit, then a wrench.

Prison Loaf Processor

Certain customers may not even be able to visit the bar and enjoy your culinary delicacies. Fortunately, there is still a convenient way to deliver food to the inmates: the Lay-Z Chef Prison Food Chute. Many items (food or otherwise) are suitable components for the processor, which sends the fresh loaf directly to the brig. While you have limited control over the taste or appearance of said loaf, there is actually more to it than meets the eye. It might be worthwhile to experiment with the amount and composition of the ingredients!

If a loaf is simply too much to eat, using a welder on the processor toggles it into nugget mode! Freshly made nuggets of food will be extruded and portioned out to the prisoners, perfect for some fast grub.

Icon	Level	Name	Comments	Notes
	1	Prison loaf	A rather slapdash loaf designed to feed prisoners. Technically nutritionally complete and edible in the same sense that potted meat product is edible.
	2	Dense prison loaf	The chef must be really packing a lot of junk into these things today.
	3	Extra-dense prison loaf	Good lord, this thing feels almost like a brick. A brick made of kitchen scraps and god knows what else.
	4	Super-compressed prison loaf	Hard enough to scratch a diamond, yet still somehow edible, this loaf seems to be emitting decay heat. Dear god.
	5	Fissile loaf	There's so much junk packed into this loaf, the flavor atoms are starting to go fissile. This might make a decent engine fuel, but it definitely wouldn't be good for you to eat.	Throw it and watch what happens.
	6	Fusion loaf	Forget fission, the flavor atoms in this loaf are so densely packed now that they are undergoing atomic fusion. What terrifying new flavor atoms might lurk within?
	7	Neutron loaf	Oh good, the flavor atoms in this prison loaf have collapsed down to a solid lump of neutrons.
	8	Quark loaf	This nutritional loaf is collapsing into subatomic flavor particles. It is unfathmomably heavy.	You can bash through reinforced walls with this.
	9	Degenerate loaf	You should probably call a physicist.
	10	Strangelet loaf	You should probably call a priest.	Flies around at random, destroying whatever it hits and heavily damaging players it bashes into.
	11	Einstein-rosen loaf	A hypothetical feature of loaf-spacetime. It could in theory be used to open a bridge between one point in space-time to another point in loaf-spacetime, if one had the machine required ...	Can be used to make a material that causes whatever it's made out of to float.

Animal Slaughter

Knives can be used on dead critters to slaughter their bodies. This will in most cases instantly produce several pieces of meat bearing the creature's name, which you can use for cooking. Monkeys are an exception, they still have to be put on spikes.