Foods and Drinks

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Food is what you eat. Drinks are what you drink. Here is a comprehensive (but still incomplete) list of items and recipes for the chef to utilize and the crew to enjoy. Just remember that side-effects are by no means unknown or uncommon.

Snacks

Icon Name Available from Info
Donut Vendor, kitchen Frosted donuts give double the HP recovery to security officers. <Insert Joke>
Chips Vendor
Candy Vendor
Fries Vendor, kitchen
Popcorn Kitchen
Onion chips Kitchen
Nougat bar Kitchen
Granola bar Kitchen
Hetz' Cup Kitchen
Candy apple Kitchen
Candy cane Kitchen
Yoghurt Kitchen Requires spoon.
Pickle Kitchen
Candy heart Quartermaster Flavored chalk with inscriptions such as "Robust Me" and "Love Transfer Valve". 4-5 in every box!
Descuento Danito's Burritos Snacks Vendor Available in many different flavours. Comes with an integral heating mechanism.
Discount Dan's Quik-Noodles Snacks Vendor Literally poison. Also equipped with a heater.
Hungry Dan's TV Dinners Snacks Vendor Yum. Also equipped with a heater.
Lollipop Medbay A healthy snack containing a small amount of medicine, such as charcoal or saline.
Pope Crunch Crew quarters Extremely crunchy! Can be eaten directly from the box, or mixed with milk in a bowl.
Apple Hydroponics
Banana Hydroponics Peel it first!
Orange Hydroponics
Lemon Hydroponics
Lime Hydroponics
Strawberry Hydroponics
Avocado Hydroponics
Grapes Hydroponics
Melon slice Hydroponics Slice a watermelon with something sharp to get six of these.
Honey Hydroponics Produced by space bees. Taste may vary, depending on the plant that provided the nectar.
Carrot Hydroponics
Slurryfruit Hydroponics Poisonous!
Eggplant Hydroponics
Coconut meat Hydroponics Break open a coconut to these loads of these and a handy cup.
Pineapple slice Hydroponics No salt needed. Cut a pineapple to get one of these. Must be kept away from pizza at all costs.
Bamboo shoot Hydroponics Slice a bamboo stalk to get one of these.
????? Incompetent chef Contains ???? (reagent). The result of a bad recipe, probably shouldn't eat this...
Smoldering Mess Incompetent chef Also contains ????. The result of overcooking or -frying something.

Drinks

Icon Name Type Available from Info
Booze-O-Mat N/A Bar Dispenses booze and cocktail accessories. Doesn't have any ID restrictions.
Space beer Alcohol Bar
Fancy beer Alcohol Bar Contains beer plus a number of random chemicals.
Cider Alcohol Bar
Mead Alcohol Bar
Wine Alcohol Bar
Hobo wine Alcohol ??? Contains wine plus a number of random chemicals.
Vodka Alcohol Bar
Gin Alcohol Bar
Tequila Alcohol Bar
Champagne Alcohol Bar Hit pods, segways or other vehicles with the harm intent to rename them.
Rum Alcohol Bar Spaced rum bottles also contain yobihodazine.
Bo Jack Daniel's Alcohol Bar A real man's drink!
Stinkeye's Special Reserve Alcohol ??? A favourite of captains everywhere.
Egg nog Other Bar, kitchen
Milk Other Kitchen
Space cola Soda Vendor, kitchen Normalizes tempature and decays into sugar.
Fancy cola Soda Vendor Contains cola plus a few random weird chemicals.
Decirprevo Bottled Water Soda Vendor
Robust-Eez Soda Vendor Contains methamphetamine.
Grife-O Soda Vendor A little radioactive. That's because it contains space dust.
Dr. Pubber Soda Vendor Contains morphine and haloperidol.
Grones Soda Soda Vendor Comes in random flavours.
Spooky Dan's Soda Vendor Two flavours on offer. Neither are industrial runoff, nope!
Orange-Aid Soda Vendor Contains oculine.
Lime-Aid Other Vendor Contains antihol.
Robust Coffee Other Vendor Contains addictive coffee which helps against stuns.
Happy Elf Hot Chocolate Other Vendor Contains liquid metagaming.
Chicken Soup Other Vendor Can cure minor diseases.
Weight-Loss Shake Other Vendor Contains lipolicide.
Tea Other Vendor
Wired Dan's Kafe Kick Other Hacked Vendor A daily fix of drugs and poison, diluted with water. Banned by the Space FDA.
Mugwort tea Other Wizard A bitter tea with magical protective properties. Heals wizards.

Dispenser

The alcohol and soda dispensers offer a convenient way to prepare alcoholic and non-alcoholic refreshments. They have an essentially infinite supply of various drinks and operate like the machines in chemistry. That comes in handy, because many commercial products contain more than one reagent and it would otherwise be difficult to isolate specifically what you want for e. g. cake icing. And of course, they will also be useful if you decide to turn the kitchen/bar into a makeshift laboratory. A barman's job also isn't complete unless you know how to make people drunk off fancy recipes and how to present your creations properly. To that end, umbrellas, wedges and other doodads can be added to every drinking glass.

Most of these drinks can be made just with just the dispenser, but not all of them. For drinks with coffee, it's best it get coffee from the coffee machines (the green-colored vending machines) rather than fool around with the espresso machine. Drinks with sugar need sugar from the chemical or soda dispensers, not the sugar used by the Chef. For drinks with more exotic ingredients, you may need the chem dispenser (which is usually right near the alcohol and soda dispenser) and a beaker, since the chem dispenser doesn't accept drinkware. Luckily, there's usually a large one around right on top of it, and your glass recycler can make beakers.

Item Icon Ethanol Recipe Info
Fruit wedges
N/A / / + Also available in fruit wedge kits from BoozeVends
Maraschino cherry
N/A +
Cola
N/A Water + Sugar + Carbon + Oxygen
Lemonade
N/A Lemon juice + Sugar
Limeade
N/A Lime juice + Sugar
Egg nog
N/A Egg + Sugar + Milk Decays into 1.2u sugar
Chocolate milk
N/A Chocolate + Milk
Strawberry milk
N/A Strawberry juice + Milk
Sweet tea
N/A Tea + Sugar
Half and Half
N/A Sweet Tea + Lemon juice
Tea with honey
N/A Tea + Honey Makes you feel relaxed.
Tea with mint
N/A Tea + Mint
Triple Citrus
N/A Lemon juice + Lime juice + Orange juice Heals a little bit of TOX damage.
Screwdriver
0.2 Vodka + Orange juice
Sex on the Beach
0.1 Screwdriver + Cranberry juice It farts upon synthesis. Don't question it.
Vodka Gimlet
0.25 Vodka + Lime juice
Cosmopolitan
0.1 Vodka Gimlet + Cranberry juice
Bloody Mary
0.25 Vodka + Tomato juice
Bloody Scary
? Vodka + Changeling blood
Vodka Martini
0.3 Vodka + Vermouth
Vodka Tonic
0.25 Vodka + Tonic water Is completely transparent in color. Right-click to pick up.
Mind Eraser
0.3 Vodka Tonic + Coffee
Black Russian
0.15 Vodka + Coffee
White Russian
File:WhiteRussian.png
0.3 Black Russian + Milk
Suicider
1 Vodka + Cider + Epinephrine + Welding fuel Can also be extracted or distilled from omega weed.
Murdini
1.1 Martini + Apple juice + Suicider
Port
0.2 Vodka + Wine + Sugar + Iron Has a chance to teleport you at random.
Crème de Menthe
0.4 Vodka + Sugar + Mint
Grasshopper
0.2 Crème de Menthe + Vanilla + Chocolate Turns you into a roach for an amount of time proportionate to how long it was in your system.
Bilk
0 Beer + Milk
Beepskybräu
0.1 Beer + Nanomachines Can also be distilled from roburgers.
Snakebite
0.15 Beer + Cider
Diesel
0.25 Snakebite + Cranberry juice
BOOrbon
0.6 Bourbon + Ectoplasm
Whiskey Sour
File:WhiskeySour.png
0.2 Bourbon + Lemonade
Manhattan
0.3 Bourbon + Vermouth + Bitters
Hunchback
0.55 Bourbon + Cola + Tomato juice See Chemistry.
Irish Coffee
0.1 Bourbon + Coffee + Sugar + Milk
Old Fashioned
0.4 Bourbon + Bitters + Sugar + Water
Mint Julep
0.15 Bourbon + Sugar + Mint
Jean Harlow
0.6 Rum + Vermouth
Planter's Punch
0.4 Rum + Lemonade
Sangria
0.2 Planter's Punch + Wine + Orange juice
Mai Tai
0.3 Rum + Lime juice + Orange juice
Space-Cuba Libre
0.1 Rum + Lime juice + Cola
Daiquiri
0.2 Rum + Lime juice + Sugar Try adding the rum first, so you don't accidentally make limeade.
Mojito
0.2 Daiquiri + Mint
Piña Colada
0.2 Rum + Coconut milk + Pineapple juice
Gin and Tonic
0.25 Gin + Tonic water Is completely transparent in color. Right-click to pick up.
Pink Gin and Tonic
0.2 Gin and Tonic + Bitters
Gin and Chronic
0.25 Gin and Tonic + Tetrahydrocannabinol Decays into THC as well as ethanol.
Gin and Sonic
0.2 Gin and Tonic + Methamphetamine Decays into meth as well as ethanol. Juice Time.
Tom Collins
0.16 Gin and Tonic + Lemonade
Gin Fizz
0.25 Gin + Lemon juice + Water
Gimlet
0.25 Gin + Lime juice
Martini
0.3 Gin + Vermouth
Negroni
0.6 Martini + Bitters
Necroni
0.5 Negroni + Ectoplasm
French 75
0.15 Gin + Champagne + Lemonade
Tequini
0.4 Tequila + Vermouth
Brave Bull
0.25 Tequila + Coffee
Prairie Fire
0.25 Tequila + Capsaicin Decays into capsaicin as well as ethanol.
Margarita
0.2 Tequila + Lime juice + Orange juice
Long Beach Iced Tea
0.4 Tequila + Sex on the Beach +
Rum + Gin + Lemon j.
Long Island Iced Tea
0.4 Tequila + Screwdriver + Rum +
Gin + Lemon j. + Cola
Mimosa
0.05 Champagne + Orange juice
Ecto Cooler
N/A Ectoplasm + Uranium + Orange juice Decays into VHFCS and has a chance to produce strange green goop as well, which allows you to see ghosts.
Squeeze
0.83 Bread (reagent) + Welding fuel Stuns and infects the consumer with food poisoning.
Expresso
N/A Espresso + Neurotoxin Hurts your brain real bad.

Still

Since the introduction of said dispensers, the still has fallen a bit out of favour - but that should not discourage a creative barman, as the apparatus is a decent option to move large amount of booze and get people horribly drunk elsewhere. Opening a counter in the market for example usually attracts more customers than the bar itself, thanks to its central location. Just don't forget to bring plenty of spare glasses and bottles with you!

Item Recipe Info
Beer
/
Steel wheat also produces iron.
Beepskybräu
Cider
Mead
Wine
/
Green grapes make white wine.
Vodka
Bourbon
Rice wine


Rum
/
Tea
Cat drugs
Menthol
THC
(any type)
Other reagents: LSD (rainbow weed), omnizine (lifeweed), cyanide (deathweed).
Drug cocktail
Yields THC, LSD, suicider, space drugs, mercury, lithium, atropine, haloperidol, meth, capsaicin, psilocybin, hairgrownium, ectoplasm, bath salts, itching powder, crank, krokodil, cat drugs and histamine. Fun for the whole family!
????
Yields all sorts of chemicals. Ones that make you talk backwards, ones that set your mouth on fire, ones that set you on fire, all sorts of random fun! (but mostly literal sewage)

Juice-O-Matic

An old Cyborg tool from a time before you could click-drag things into reagent extractors. You can basically think of this as a portable reagent extractor. It's still a handy companion piece to the still, as a decent means for getting the crew highly drunk on fancy cocktails.

Item Recipe Info
Orange Juice
Lemon Juice
Lime Juice
Pineapple Juice
Apple Juice
Strawberry Juice
Cherry Juice
Tomato Juice
Mint
Coffee
Water
Nicotine
/
Tomacco usually gives more.
George Melonium
Do you feel lucky?
Catonium
Can be made cat drugs.
Capsaicin
Spicy! Messes up your vision if it gets in your eyes and speech if in your mouth.
Ghost Chili Juice
Extremely spicy! Can cause vomiting and spontaneous combustion.
Toxic Slurry
A poison found in slurrypods.
Capulettium
Fakes death somewhat.
Cryostalane
Chilling. Very chilling.
Phlogiston
Liquid fire.
Holy Water
Hurts vampires.
Changeling Blood
Does interesting things when exposed to high heat.
Corn Starch
Could potentially be made into corn syrup and VHFCS.
Space Soybean Oil
/
Grease, basically.

Espresso Machine

Some people don't want just coffee, served in a regular ol' plastic cup from a regular ol' coffee machine. They want special coffee, the kind that comes with milk and other things, the kind that is served in a different plastic cup and dispensed by a machine with weird foreign names for drinks. This espresso machine is for those sorts of people. Thankfully, its operation is simple: just insert a cup from the rack nearby, choose Make espresso, and choose any of the options below. It's easy to be a Space Starbucks barista!

If the machine runs out of water, just unscrew the cap from the top with an empty hand, and click on the machine with a container full of water. Then, screw the cap back on.

Just don't expect to be making any Irish Coffee or any of the cocktails with coffee using this stuff. Again, those actually need the regular coffee from coffee machines.

Setting Description
Espresso Just 10 units of standard espresso coffee. Very different from regular coffee.
Latte A little bit of espresso, with lots of milk. Really milk with coffee at that point.
Mocha Half espresso, half milk and chocolate milk.
Cappuccino Espresso, with a good amount (6.5 units) of milk.
Americano Espresso, diluted with a good bit of water.
Decaf 10 units of espresso coffee, decaf, without the caffeine.
Flat White Espresso with a little less milk than what a cappucino would have.

Other Food-Related Items

Icon Name Info
Kitchen vendor Offers a wide selection of basic ingredients and other catering supplies. Doesn't have any ID restrictions.
Kitchenware recycler Recycles glass shards. The machine can manufacture a variety of different glasses as well as plates.
Hotdog cart Used to easily take large amounts of food out of the kitchen and hand it to people. Can only be opened by people with kitchen access.
Drinking glass All functionally similar, but drinks served in shot glasses are downed in one big gulp instead of little sips. Breaks into shards when thrown.
Coconut shell A coconut shell bowl that can hold 50 units of alcohol. Perfect for mixed drinks! Ask Hydroponics to grow some coconuts for these.
Pitcher For refilling those drinking glasses. It holds 120 units.
Plate Dinner is served, sir.
Bowl For holding food, such as cereal or gruel.
Spoon Needed to eat certain dishes.
Fork Needed to eat certain dishes.
Knife Used for slaughtering animals and cutting certain items.
Pizza Cutter Used for cutting certain items, particularly pizza into slices. Suitable for surgery.
Rolling pin Required to prepare pizza bases.
Shakers Add salt or pepper for the perfect flavour.
Condiment bottles Standard condiments in the form of ketchup and mustard.
File:IcingTube.png Icing tube Used for, you guessed it, adding icing to a cake. Accepts 50 units of any liquid.
Produce satchel This spacious satchel makes the life of every chef or botanist much easier. Almost any type of food-related item (dishes, bottles, seeds etc.) can be stored in them, and they also interact nicely with tables (drag & drop), crates, the food processor, mail chutes and other objects.
Banana peel Slippery. Created from peeling a banana, obviously!
Fish Can be used to slap people around.

Chef's Cookbook

Here's where the real fun starts. While most of the ingredients needed by the chef should either be available in your kitchen or can grown for you in hydroponics, some recipes may require items from elsewhere on the station. A fair number of recipes also have downsides, so be wary of food poisoning and other nasty occurrences.

Ingredients

Short list of items that will be your basic ingredients, many of which can also be ordered in a crate from quartermasters.

Icon Name Available from
Flour Kitchen or process from wheat.
Sugar Kitchen or process from sugarcane.
Oatmeal Kitchen or process from oats.
Semolina Flour Process from durum wheat.
Donk pockets Kitchen. Contains 6x (cold)
Bacon strips Kitchen. Contains 7x
Human meat Kitchen
Monkey meat Kitchen
Synthetic meat Hydroponics
Fish Fillet Comes in different kinds.
Mystery meat Raking through gibs - dubious nutritional value!
Chicken nugget Kitchen. May be used in place of mystery meat in most specific recipes.
Brain Robotics
Synthbrain Hydroponics
Heart Robotics
Cyberheart Robotics
Synthheart Hydroponics
Butt Hydroponics, robotics
Cyberbutt Robotics
Pumpkin Hydroponics
Watermelon Hydroponics
Potato Hydroponics
Mushroom Hydroponics
Tomato Hydroponics
Chili pepper Hydroponics
Lettuce leaf Hydroponics
Cucumber Hydroponics
Carrot Hydroponics
Corn cob Hydroponics
Garlic Hydroponics
Onion Hydroponics
Coconut Hydroponics
Pineapple Hydroponics
Mint leaf Hydroponics
Rice Hydroponics
Bean pod Hydroponics
Egg Kitchen
Milk Kitchen or process from soybean pods.
Cheese Kitchen
Spaghetti Kitchen or process from pasta sheets.
Peanut butter Kitchen or process from peanuts.
Maple syrup Kitchen

Ingredient Processing

The food processor is important too! With it, you can turn items into different forms, which may be more useful, or usable in recipes.

Produced item Recipe Creation method Info
Ectoplasm + + Isolate ectoplasm (min: 10 units) from a Spooky Dan's Horrortastic bottle, pour it (min: 10 units) into a fire extinguisher and then use the HUD icon to spray all around you.
Cheese + + See above. Required minimum is 10 units.
Monkey meat
Human meat
Spaghetti
Flour
Oatmeal
Semolina Flour Must be wheat of the durum wheat mutation
Iron fillings Condiment - can be applied to any food, making it heal more.
Chocolate chips Condiment - can be applied to any food, making it heal more.
Sugar
Milk
Peanut butter
Yoghurt (rancid) Must use a bottle of rancid milk specifically. Requires spoon.
Semolina Dough
Pasta Sheet +
Dough
Sweet dough +
4x Cookie doughs + Probably shouldn't be eaten raw!
Dough strip + You can click on another strip with your strip to attach them back together.
Dough circle + Click on the dough strip in your hand.
Holey dough +
Crumpet 3 Seconds, low.
Bagel 3 Seconds, low.
Donut + 3 Seconds, low.
Ice cream cone + 1 second, low
Cake batter + 2x
Pancake batter + 2x +
Loaf of bread 1 second, low
Slice of bread +
Loaf of honey-wheat bread + 1 second, low
Slice of honey-wheat bread +
Loaf of banana bread + + Peel the banana first! 1 second, low
Slice of banana bread +
Loaf of Elvis bread + + Peel the banana first! 6 seconds, low
Slice of Elvis bread +
Loaf of dread + Spooky! 6 seconds, low
Slice of dread +
Loaf of pumpkin bread + 6 seconds, low
Slice of pumpkin bread +
Loaf of northern-style cornbread + + 6 seconds, low
Slice of N-style cornbread +
Loaf of southern-style cornbread + 6 seconds, low
Slice of S-style cornbread +
Loaf of honey cornbread + + 6 seconds, low
Slice of honey cornbread +
Loaf of brain bread + / 6 seconds, low. Works with any combination of bread and brain.
Slice of brain bread +
Meatball Works with any kind of meat.
Brain meatball Doesn't work with synthbrains.
Butt meatball Only works with human/monkey butts.
Meat paste / Works with any kind of meat or fish.
4x Wonton wrappers +
Ketchup Condiment - can be applied to any food, making it heal more.
/ / Hot sauce / / Condiment - can be applied to any food, is as spicy as the chili it came from.
Mayonnaise Condiment - can be applied to any food, making it heal more.
Cream Condiment - can be applied to any food, making it heal more.
Custard + Condiment - can be applied to any food, making it heal more.
Butter
Butt-er + Condiment - can be applied to any food, making it heal more.
Unfinished pizza base +
Half-finished pizza base +
Pizza base +
3x Tortillas +
6x Melon slices +
Fish fillet + Different kinds of fish exist.
Chips + Once to peel, twice to chop into chips.
4x Onion rings +
Pineapple ring +
3x Coconut meat +

Main course

This is a list of probably not remotely all of chef's dishes. Enjoy - Bork Bork Bork.

Some dishes can accept "any item" or "any food item". "Any item" does mean any item, so you can for example bake something that obviously isn't edible into a pie. Be warned that trying to put a non-food item into a dish that only accepts "a food item" will destroy the non-food item as well as ruining the recipe. Frying anything makes it a food item.

Produced item Creation method Time & temperature Info
/ / / / Toast 6 seconds, low Most of the these recipes work with every kind of bread.
/ Cheese on toast + 6 seconds, low
/ Bacon on toast + 6 seconds, low
/ Eggs on toast + 2x 6 seconds, low
/ / Cheese sandwich + + 6 seconds, low
/ / Meat sandwich + + 6 seconds, low
/ / Peanut butter sandwich + + 6 seconds, low
/ Peanut butter and honey sandwich + + + 6 seconds, low
Egg-salad sandwich + + 6 seconds, low
/ / X sandwich + X + 6 seconds, high Try various fillings (up to six food items) to create the ultimate sandwich! You can even mix two different types of bread for the slices.
/ / X club + X + + 6 seconds, high
/ / X double-decker sandwich + X + + + 6 seconds, high
/ / X dagwood + X + + + + 6 seconds, high
Meatball sub + + + 6 seconds, low Works with any type of bread loaf.
Banh mi + + + 5 seconds, low Works only with honeywheat bread
Hotdog + 6 seconds, low
Herbal sausage + N/A You may use any other herb, including cannabis or catnip.
/ / / / Hotdog in a bun / + N/A Appearance and taste depend on the type of sausage and bread.
/ / / / Corndog + N/A
Apple on a stick + N/A
Candy apple + 5 seconds, low
Synthorange + N/A Must use synthmeat specifically. Heals twice the amount of regular oranges.
Warm donk pocket + 7 seconds, high Contains 5 units of delicious omnizine goodness. But eat it quick--it'll cool down in seven minutes and you won't get the omnizine.
Warm donk pocket (cold) 7 seconds, high
Warm honk-pocket + + 7 seconds, high Turns your farts into honks for a short time! But it does something completely different when it's left to cool for a good while...
Bacon 6 seconds, high
Burger + 6 seconds, high
Cheeseburger + + 7 Seconds, high
Monkey cheeseburger + + 7 Seconds, high Must use monkey meat specifically.
Coronator + + + 9 Seconds, high
File:THE MONSTER.png THE MONSTER + + + 9 Seconds, low Crazy-huge burger that will probably make you sick. And by sick, we mean dead. Slowly.
Brainburger + / 6 seconds, high Infects whoever eats it with kuru.
Assburger + / 6 seconds, high Now that's awkward! Contains fartonium.
Roburger + 6 seconds, high Also works with a light cyborg head. Infects whoever eats it with robotic transformation.
Dubious burger + 6 seconds, high
Fishburger + 7 seconds, high Type of fish used doesn't matter.
Sloppy Joe + 6 seconds, high
Baconatrix + 6 seconds, high
Heartburger + / / 6 seconds, high Works with human, monkey or synthetic hearts. Cyberhearts are also compatible.
Coconut burger + 7 seconds, high
Luau burger + + 7 seconds, high
Tiki burger + + + 9 seconds, high
Steak 9 seconds, low You may use synth-, monkey- or human meat.
Omelette + + 2x 7 seconds, high Requires fork.
Deep-space hell omelette + + 2x 7 seconds, high The space bees are not going to like this! Requires fork.
Fish fingers 9 seconds, low The type of fish used is irrelevant.
Baked potato 9 seconds, high
Mashed potatoes 3x N/A Requires fork.
Fries 7 seconds, low
Bacon and eggs 2x + 2x 8 seconds, high Requires fork.
Plain spaghetti 8 seconds, high Requires fork.
Spaghetti in sauce + 8 seconds, high Requires fork.
Spaghetti in sauce + N/A Requires fork.
Spaghetti arrabiata + 8 seconds, high Spicy! Requires fork.
Spaghetti arrabiata + N/A Requires fork.
Spaghetti with meatballs + 8 seconds, high Requires fork.
Swedish meatballs + + 2x 6 seconds, high Bork Bork Bork! Requires fork.
X pizza + X 6 seconds, high The toppings may consist of any food item.
6x X pizza slices + N/A
Sugar cookie 2 seconds, high
Oatmeal cookie + 2 seconds, high
Chocolate-chip cookie + 2 seconds, high
Iron cookie + 2 seconds, high
Bacon cookie + 2 seconds, high
Spookie + 2 seconds, high
Jaffa cake + + 2 seconds, high
Sugar moon pie 2x + + + 2 seconds, high
Oatmeal moon pie 2x + + + 2 seconds, high
Chocolate moon pie 2x + + + 2 seconds, high
Iron moon pie 2x + + + 2 seconds, high
Bacon moon pie 2x + + + 2 seconds, high
Full moon pie 2x + + + 2 seconds, high
Jaffa moon cobbler 2x + 2 seconds, high
Whoopie pie 2x + + 2 seconds, high Requires chocolate-chip cookies specifically.
Cookie with frosting + N/A Works with any type of cookie or moon pie.
Nougat bar + 5 seconds, low
Granola bar + 5 seconds, low
Biscuit + 4 seconds, low
English Muffin + N/A Butter is optional. Cut in half with a knife.
Hardtack + 6 seconds, high
Butter Burger + 6 seconds, high
File:Macguffin.png Sausage MacGuffin 2x + + + 6 seconds, high
Honey Wonks + 5 seconds, low Can be eaten directly from the box, or mixed with milk in a bowl.
Hetz' Cup + N/A
Waffles + 10 seconds, low
Cream pie + 2 seconds, high Requires spoon.
X cream pie + + X 2 seconds, high Accepts any food item. Requires spoon.
Custard pie + 2 seconds, high Requires spoon.
Apple pie + 2 seconds, high Requires spoon.
Pumpkin pie + 2 seconds, high Requires spoon.
Lemon meringue pie + 2 seconds, high Requires spoon.
Key lime pie + 2 seconds, high Requires spoon.
Strawberry pie + 2x 2 seconds, high Requires spoon.
Slurry pie + 2 seconds, high Requires spoon.
Bacon pie + 2 seconds, high Requires spoon.
Asspie + / 2 seconds, high Yikes! Requires spoon.
X pie + + X 2 seconds, high You may add one or two items (food or otherwise). Requires spoon.
Creamy sponge cake + 7 seconds, high
Chocolate sponge cake + 7 seconds, high
Meat cake + 7 seconds, high
Bacon cake + 3x 7 seconds, high
Droopy cake + / 7 seconds, high
Fruit cake + 7 seconds, high A December-month exclusive.
/ Pancakes + + 6 seconds, high Don't forget to add the maple syrup after cooking the pancakes!
X cake + X + File:IcingTube.png + + 6 seconds, high Mix the cake batter and food item of your choice, then cook the unfinished batter in the oven. Add icing to finish the product.
10x X cake slices + N/A
/ X rangoon / eggroll + X N/A Combine the wrapper with a food item of your choice, then load it into the deep fryer. Tiny objects make a rangoon, normal-sized items an eggroll.
Fried onion ring N/A
Onion Chips 2x + + 7 seconds, high
Popcorn + N/A Heat the cob with a welding tool or other heat source until it pops.
Popcorn N/A
X-flavoured ice cream N/A The machine offers three basic flavours. Alternatively, you can use a container (beaker, drinking glass, bottle etc.) with reagents of your choice.
Mashed brains / N/A Good brain food! Requires fork.
Meatloaf 6 seconds, high Requires fork.
Taco shell 6 seconds, low
Meat taco + + + N/A Most types of meat can be used, including bacon.
4x Tortilla chips N/A Crush an empty cooked taco shell to get four of these.
Guacamole N/A Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Mint chutney + + + 7 seconds, high Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Oatmeal (random flavour) 7 seconds, high Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Tomato soup 2x 6 seconds, high Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Gruel 3x N/A Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Chili con queso + 6 seconds, high Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Chili con carne + 6 seconds, high Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Chili con flagration + + 2x 6 seconds, high Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
El Diablo + + + 10 seconds, high Warning: not for the faint of heart! Combine the con carne and flagration along with the rest of the listed ingredients. Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Cream of mushroom + N/A Can be eaten alone (requires spoon) or used as a dip for tortilla chips.
Salad 2x 5 seconds, low Requires fork.
Candy cane + 5 seconds, low
Egg nog 3x + 5 seconds, low
Hard-Boiled Egg 4 seconds, low The loose cannon of foods
Deviled Egg + N/A
Egg Salad + + 5 seconds, low
Haggis / + + 9 seconds, high Och laddie, don ya ken wha U'm sayin?
Haggass + + 9 seconds, high Makes you quite gassy, Scottish style. Requires a fork.
Scotch Eggs + + 3 seconds, high In scotland, Scotch Eggs count as a vegetable.
Pickle N/A
Bee Kibble + + 10 seconds, high For bee larva only.
Birthday Cupcake + + + 10 seconds, high For space bees only...or brave humans.
Refried Beans + 2x 7 seconds, high Requires spoon.
Rice And Beans + 10 seconds, low Requires spoon.
Fried Rice + + + 10 seconds, low Requires spoon.
Omurice + + 8 seconds, low Requires spoon.
Risotto + + + 10 seconds, low Requires spoon.

Deep Fryer

Every food can be deep-fried, and the same applies to many other objects. In fact, pretty much anything you can think of besides containers and bulky items - experiment!

Microwave

Though rarely (if ever) used for anything, the microwave still has its place in the bar. Most people are aware of warm donk pockets, but there are also several other legacy recipes which might be of use to a barman or hungry assistants - a second unit can be found in crew quarters, and more may be deployed with the help of a mechanic.

Produced item Recipe Info
Donut +
Popcorn
Waffles 2x + 2x
Custard pie 2x + Peel the banana first! Requires spoon.
Burger + Possible types of meat: synth, monkey, human.
Brainburger + Only a monkey or human brain will work, not synthbrains! Infects whoever eats it with kuru.
Assburger + Doesn't work with synth- or cyberbutts.
Roburger + Recipe is limited to the standard cyborg head. Infects whoever eats it with robotic transformation.
Heartburger + Works with human and monkey hearts. Synthetic or cyberhearts are not compatible.
Meatball + Valid combination: 1x monkey + 1x human.
Warm donk pocket +
Warm donk pocket (cold) A box of them can be found in the kitchen refrigerator. Once heated, they will stay warm for about seven minutes.

In case of an invalid or unrecognized recipe, the microwave is less forgiving than its successor. However, it's not the end of the world and both failure states can be addressed rather easily.

The microwave gets covered in muck! - Get some space cleaner. Ask the janitor or simply steal one of his spray bottles.

The microwave breaks! - Use a screwdriver on the unit, then a wrench.

Prison Loaf Processor

Certain customers may not even be able to visit the bar and enjoy your culinary delicacies. Fortunately, there is still a convenient way to deliver food to the inmates: the Lay-Z Chef Prison Food Chute. Many items (food or otherwise) are suitable components for the processor, which sends the fresh loaf directly to the brig. While you have limited control over the taste or appearance of said loaf, there is actually more to it than meets the eye. It might be worthwhile to experiment with the amount and composition of the ingredients!

If a loaf is simply too much to eat, using a welder on the processor toggles it into nugget mode! Freshly made nuggets of food will be extruded and portioned out to the prisoners, perfect for some fast grub.

Icon Level Name Comments Notes
1 Prison loaf A rather slapdash loaf designed to feed prisoners. Technically nutritionally complete and edible in the same sense that potted meat product is edible.
2 Dense prison loaf The chef must be really packing a lot of junk into these things today.
3 Extra-dense prison loaf Good lord, this thing feels almost like a brick. A brick made of kitchen scraps and god knows what else.
4 Super-compressed prison loaf Hard enough to scratch a diamond, yet still somehow edible, this loaf seems to be emitting decay heat. Dear god.
5 Fissile loaf There's so much junk packed into this loaf, the flavor atoms are starting to go fissile. This might make a decent engine fuel, but it definitely wouldn't be good for you to eat. Throw it and watch what happens.
6 Fusion loaf Forget fission, the flavor atoms in this loaf are so densely packed now that they are undergoing atomic fusion. What terrifying new flavor atoms might lurk within?
7 Neutron loaf Oh good, the flavor atoms in this prison loaf have collapsed down to a solid lump of neutrons.
8 Quark loaf This nutritional loaf is collapsing into subatomic flavor particles. It is unfathmomably heavy. You can bash through reinforced walls with this.
9 Degenerate loaf You should probably call a physicist.
10 Strangelet loaf You should probably call a priest. Flies around at random, destroying whatever it hits and heavily damaging players it bashes into.
11 Einstein-rosen loaf A hypothetical feature of loaf-spacetime. It could in theory be used to open a bridge between one point in space-time to another point in loaf-spacetime, if one had the machine required ... Can be used to make a material that causes whatever it's made out of to float.

Animal Slaughter

Knives can be used on dead critters to slaughter their bodies. This will in most cases instantly produce several pieces of meat bearing the creature's name, which you can use for cooking. Monkeys are an exception, they still have to be put on spikes.


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