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There are many different vehicles that can be found on Goonstation, for all of your drunk driving needs. For the most part, beginning your alcohol-fueled vehicular homicide joy ride is as easy as click-dragging your character sprite onto the vehicle or right-clicking the thing and picking "enter". Should some hooligan steal your ride, hit the vehicle with Disarm or Harm intent to shove them out, momentarily stunning them and giving you ample time to reclaim your ride.


SegwayAnimation.gif Respect my Authoritah!

The Security department's (and for some reason, Medical's) personal fleet, and the proud vehicle of mall cops across the country. Surprisingly robust for something meant to be joke item. It's the fastest non-antagonist vehicle in the game, barring pods, and if you run into anyone while riding it, it will fling you over the handlebars, stunning both you and the person you ran over for a while. It also has lights and siren so that you can warn people to get out of the way annoy the entire fucking station. Be aware: if you get blinded by a flash's areaflash while on this thing, you don't just get stunned, you also get ejected from the segway.

As with all vehicles, you cannot use weapons while on a segway. However, if you use a mop or rod in-hand, you can raise it like a lance. If you collide into someone who's done the same, you'll joust each other, leading a variety of outcomes, ranging from just losing your hat to getting smacked in the face and knocked off your steed Segway.

The segway can also be emagged. This makes it so that when you crash into someone while on a segway, you aren't flung off the thing. It's possible to tell if a segway is emagged by inspection; when Examine-ed, the description will say that "It looks like the safety circuits have been shorted out". The act of emagging it is also rather obvious; people nearby will see it because they'll get a message like "The Space Segway beeps ominously", and they'll hear it too because emagging it also causes the siren and lights to go off.

Buff-R-Matic 3000

BuffRMaticV2.png Slip n Slide

The Janitor's personal vehicle, and overall an upgrade over the standard mop and bucket. It can clean the floors simply by moving on them while the buffer's on, much faster than any mop could. The buffer itself drives pretty slowly, but it still mops up floors if you have it set to dry and drag it over the floors, which lets it outspeed the mop. If you switch out the massive (1700+ units!) reservoir of water and space cleaner with other chemicals, you can do far more than just clean. Expect to be pushed off frequently due to the fact that you're making everyone fall on their ass. And then it will be stolen and spaced or used to make everyone else fall down.


Forklift.png Staplerfahrer Klaus!

Designed for reenacting Forklift Driver Klaus moving crates around the QM department. Cargo Bay, naturally, has one, while Cogmap1's Warehouse and Cogmap2's Disposals has another. Features space for up to three crates, free access through plastic flaps, and an amber emergency light (accessed through the Forklift tab) to warn crew that you're coming through and light your way a little bit. To load the crates, get in the forklift and click drag the crate onto the forklift sprite. To unload them, click on the Forklift tab on the right of your display, and choose "drop crates".

Also surprisingly versatile for antags. Not only can the forklift be disabled and turned into an improvised barricade with a screwdriver and pair of wirecutters (use some wire then a screwdriver to reverse it), but it is also handy for kidnappings and hiding bodies. The AI cannot track you while you're inside the forklift because it completely hides your identity, anyone yelling at you from the outside will have to use the radio or you can't hear them, and if someone is in a crate, their screams for help will actually be seen as them being inside the forklift and not the crate.

There's a catch though: you're still vulnerable to attacks while in the forklift. People can attack the forklift itself to hit you, which will also knock you out of the vehicle, and tasers, lasers, and other projectiles can still affect you, though you'll still remain in the forklift.

Noticeably, it handles quite differently than all the other vehicles. It will keep moving without you if you don't apply the brake (accessible through the Forklift tab), even if you get pushed off or get out to activate a computer or something. In fact, unlike other vehicles, it's actually impossible to stop this thing without applying the brake or running into a wall/solid object. You can't stop it by letting go of your movement keys; the forklift will continue on in the direction it was going without your input. If you put a suitably large object in its path, it'll stop, but if you remove the object, it keeps going.

Doesn't run people over, sadly, or recreate that scene from Final Destination 3 where it knocks over shelving. Also, if you run into the crusher it'll eat the forklift but safely eject you so you can run, unlike other vehicles! Note that attempting to flip while inside one will give you a concussion and knock you unconscious.

Clown Car

ClownCarAnimation.gif CATCH DAT FUKKEN CLOWN

A fun Traitor vehicle. Enter wearing at least two Clown clothing items and prepare for fun. Run people over to give them brute damage and a stun, letting you hop out and stuff them into your car via drag and drop or manually grabbing them. Drop some banana peels to slip people chasing you, whether to add them into the car or simply to throw them off your trail. It comes five for free, and you can insert some more just by clicking on the vehicle with a peel. You can fit up to 30 people in the backseat. Even comes with a fun horn!

Crashing into a wall (though not any other solid object) will fling the driver through the windshield and occasionally the passengers too. Anybody clicking on the car with an empty hand can open the door to let them out.


MulebotV2-32x32.gif Onward, my valiant steed!

The M.U.L.E can do far more than just carry crates; it can also be ridden like a surf board! It even drives itself! Simply climb on board and set your destination with your PDA program! Cut the speed limiter wire for the best, most GTA-esque experience. If you're a traitor, you should also remove the safety and watch in glee as it runs everyone over while you scream "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!" over the radio!

Utility Tractor

UtilityTractorSide.png All aboard the Polar Express!

Essentially a airport baggage cart that's also a freight train. Found in Tech Storage, Customs, and/or Cargo Bay on some maps. Can transport crates, items, humans, ANYTHING, just by dragging and dropping its sprite onto an adjacent cargo cart. Connect new carts to it by dragging and dropping additional carts to the last cart of the tractor train. Drag and drop again to disconnect the carts. Strangely enough, only the actual tractor is solid, so other players can walk through the cargo carts with ease.

Just be careful when connecting carts from a different utility tractor train. They tend act a bit...strange.

These can also be connected to storage carts (e.g. forensics carts, trash carts), using the same click-drag method as the cargo carts. However, while you can attach it to the end of a cargo cart like a caboose, you cannot attach another storage cart or cargo cart after it or link it directly to the tractor.

Security Wagon

SecurityTractorAnimation.gif This is the police!

A blue version of the above located in Cog2's general Security area. Can be used for moving crates and valuables and transporting cuffed prisoners...or parading them around like in a tar and feathering.


Skateboard.png Radical!

Totally gnarly transportation, available exclusively from either Abandoned crates or Josh, a radical merchant you can talk to through the QM Console. In the far future, anyone can skate! Humans, Cyborgs, meatcubes, Ghostdrones, AI shellbots--anyone! Just click-drag yourself onto it, and you'll immediately, impeccably start skateboarding. You'll be quite slow at first, but as you do more SICK TRICKS off tables, racks, and other sorts of things, you'll go faster and faster and faster--much faster. Eventually you'll go so fast that you actually phase through walls through sheer hardcore skating. Just, try not to collide into a wall or someone not skateboarding on the way.

Things you can skateboard on:

  • Tables, plain, reinforced, wood, glass, metal, whatever.
  • Girders.
  • Lockers.
  • Racks.
  • Crates.
  • Doors.
  • Asteroid rock walls.
  • Space Pods, including Syndicate drones.

Things you can't skateboard on:

  • Basically anything that's not solid. You'll just go through them though, rather than colliding and falling off.
  • Walls.
  • Windows.
  • People. (It's fine if they're also on a skateboard.)

Martian Rover

MartianRoverAnimation.gif Get your ass to Mars.

You have to repair it first with various parts scatted about the outpost, but once you do, it's pretty awesome. Specifically designed to resist dust storms, it's also similar to the forklift in that it completely hides your identity while you're inside it.


Gokart.png Hi I'm Daisy

A fun virtual vehicle! Drag and drop your character on it and race for the finish line! Pick up power-ups and ride the yellow arrows for massive speed boosts! It's mainly only used in the VR world, but sometimes they're found on the station through Admin shenanigans. Unlike many other vehicles, you cannot be pushed off a go-kart.

Pods and Putts

MiniPutt.png Red 3 Standing By

Your own personal space ship! Space pods can be equipped with a variety of weapons, tools, and other machines for many different jobs, from combat to mining to repairwork. They control much like you and I, but they can move in all eight directions and have a bit of inertia.


Minisub.png ♫ We all live in a yellow submarine ♫

Oshan Laboratory's Space Pod equivalent, with many of the same components. The key difference is that they get an extra slot for treads, allowing them to travel on both ocean floor and station floor tiles. Instead of standard WASD controls though, they have tank controls, meaning A/Arrow Left and D/Arrow Right actually turn the vehicle leftward and rightward, instead of merely moving it left and right.


TrunkSunken.png *honk* Get out of the road!

A rare specimen, only available from certain vendors and Admin shenanigans. One is rumored to be hidden in the walls of Donut 3's maintenance tunnels. Like subs, they can travel on space, ocean, and station tiles, go in all eight directions, and collide into people for the authentic GTA-experience. Like actual cars, they must move forward or backward to face another direction.

Rideable Cats

SegwayCat.gif It's like riding a Luck Dragon

Rare creatures, only found via admin shenanigans, that are identical in function to segways. Only they're cats.

Cluwne Car


A horrendous chariot of torture to the eyes. Enter wearing a full set of Cluwne gear and prepare for gut wrenching nightmares. Run people over to give them brute damage and a stun, letting you hop out and drag them to their doom.

Crashing into a wall (though not any other solid object) will fling the driver through the windshield as to give its victims a chance to catch their breath. Avoiding walls will not be enough as the car is a flaming pile of shit and may choose to eject its user for no reason whatsoever.


AdminBusV2.gif AdminBusV2Sus.gif BadminBusV2.gif BattleBusV2.gif Run for your lives!

The single most dangerous item on this entire list, laying waste to all it touches.

Get in.

Supplementary Video

Objects and Items
by Department
Box2.png General · MopV2-32x32.png Janitor · Glovesy.png Engineering · PowerPickV2.png Mining · DefibrillatorV2-32x32.png Medical · PortASci.png Science · Handcuffs.png Security
Machinery MiniPutt.png Pods · ClownCar.png Vehicles · ThinkDOSPCV2-32x32.gif Computers · Fabricator.png Fabricators & Manufacturers · GenericPDAV3-32x32.png PDAs · Implanter2.png Implants
Clothing Chameleon.gif Clothing
Catering WateringCanV2-32x32.png Plants & Hydro Equipment · THE MONSTER V2.png Foods & Drinks
Weapons CyalumeSaberV4.gif Syndicate Items · RevolverV2.png Guns · ChemGrenadeCompleteV2.png Grenades · TransferTankValveBomb.png Bombs