IT'S ALIVE! It died. IT'S ALIVE! It died. IT'S ALIVE!

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A story from Something Awful user Angry Diplomat from about 2014, describing a griefing chemist who figured out how to create an infinite Life reaction, part of a larger post about the peculiar types of griefing seen in SS13.

The Tale

There are a variety of highly combustible chemical compounds in SS13, such as napalm. There is also a recipe called Life, which can create weird gribbly meat creatures or a (usually insane and homicidal) randomized NPC human. The Life recipe is triggered by heat once it's mixed together. I'm sure you can kind of see where this is going, but trust me, it's crazier than you think.

One of the Chemists managed to brew up some kind of nightmare potion that created a cloud of flaming Life. This had the effect of spawning an endless singularity of screaming, flaming creatures and people that exploded into an eternal Valhalla of fiery combat. The fucker had somehow made the reaction self-sustaining, so his workplace quickly became an ever-deepening mountain of burning bodies, fire, and screams. As the lag got worse and worse, an admin teleported in to see what the fuck was going on, and came face-to-face with a vision of Hell. "MY BEAUTIFUL CREATIONS" lamented the immolated chemist, as his murderous children's fiery fists rained down upon him.

It lagged the round absolutely to fuck and back and basically ruined it for everyone else, but nobody punished him for it. In fact, the admins immediately posted the story to the SS13 thread for everyone to marvel at. Playing a Chemist and creating any kind of laggy hellfoam or hellsmoke is basically griefing in and of itself, but every once in a while someone does something so incredible with it that even the people stuck staring at a laggy, useless Byond client can't help but be impressed. Like whenever someone makes a mixture so hot that it melts space. That happens occasionally.

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Tales & Humour Sex and the Singularity · Maintenance Doggs · The Rapper · The Trial of Heisenbee · Albert and the Deep Blue Sea · The uWu Interrogation · HeadSurgeon · Tales of The Devil‎ · IT'S ALIVE! It died. IT'S ALIVE! It died. IT'S ALIVE!‎ · The floor is now explosions‎ · My god, it's full of butt · The Crashwich · The Doom Peel‎ · Jugglemancy‎