User:Zamujasa/Mainframe

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I'm casually dumping the e-mails that show up on the various computing systems here, because they're full of Lore™ and I'm interested in that sort of thing.

E-mails

Public, probably random e-mails that show up in the mainframe under /etc/mail. Five of these are inserted per round.

Syndicate attack (SS12 lore)

PUBLIC_NT *COMMAND [email protected] [email protected] URGENT Syndicate attack Please send help quickly. A group of terrorists calling themselves the 'syndicate' are attacking the station. They keep yelling over the radio about a disk but I have no idea what they're talking about! The captains dead, and the station is shot up to hell! They've got hostages, we need help immediately
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DWSH incident report 10-84 (Engineer eye surgery)

Written to protect against the pseudo-BBCode in papers. Interesting.

PUBLIC_NT *ENGINEERING [email protected] [email protected] LOW DWSH incident report 10-84 Employees involved: \[redacted] Incident summary: Engineer \[a] complained of eye trouble after prolonged exposure to gravitational singularity, despite warnings re: proper eyewear and safe singularity procedure. Their co-worker, engineer \[b], offered to perform experimental laser eye surgery using the spare emitter. Casualties: 1 Damage assessment: $0 Follow-up: Engineer \[b] re-issued a copy of safety manual (claims they lost original during eva) Head of personnel notified of new opening in engineering department Incident closed -NT #10-84
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Centcom Cares

PUBLIC_NT *ALL [email protected] [email protected] HIGH Centcom Cares It has come to our attention that employee morale has been unacceptably low in many of our outer installations as of late. Low morale results in such problems as 1) lost productivity, 2) malingering, 3) disloyalty, and 4) flagrant and willfull destruction of station resources and fellow personnel. We understand that deep-space habitation comes with many social and mental challenges, but this is no excuse for poor performance. To maintain morale, please make sure to take advantage of your station's recreational facilities during your scheduled breaks. If you require some safe excitement, a fully-equipped virtual reality arcade can be found near Crew Quarters. Staff members who wish to maintain proper physical health can find a productive outlet for day-to-day stress in the Fitness Center. Nature enthusiasts will enjoy the ornithological wonders and soothing hoots within the Owlery. Every installation has an in-house two-star* restaurant for your eating and dining pleasure. For those who have earned time away from station, you may wish to consult with your local Telescience Research staff regarding exciting vacation opportunities. And remember, in times of spiritual crisis, our expert multi-faith theological staff is always ready to offer you guidance in your Chapel. Thank you, Thad Davies Regional Assistant Director of Human Resources Nanotrasen, INC.
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SALUTATIONS (The clown's will)

PUBLIC_NT *ALL [email protected] [email protected] STANDARD SALUTATIONS It my sad duty to inform you that your uncle Rufus Kaur has passed away. As a client of our firm, he chose me to be the executor of his will. I have attached the section relevant to you. --COPIED TEXT-- > Hello, you little whippersnapper! It's me, your ol' uncle Ruffles! Honk! > I bet you didn't know I knew where you were! A space station! Wow! > Y'know I'd always hoped you'd follow your pops and me in the family business. > But no, I guess you were always too stubborn for clownin'! Always gotta go your own way, shucks. > Why, back in my day, your dad and I didn't have these fancy things like space stations and rocket ships anyways! > No sir! The Brothers Kaur traveled the world, living in horse stables and performing for anyone who wouldn't shoot at us! > And sometimes we even performed for those folks too! Honk! And we liked it! > We didn't even have those novelty red noses you kids have nowadays, nope, ours were the real thing, > red from alcoholism and frostbite! Boy those sure were the days. > Anyways, if you're readin this, it means I've finally gone to the great circus in the sky. > The Brothers Kaur are reunited at last. I know you probably think we were a bunch of old goofs, > but well, we were both very proud of you. I want you to have my clown suit. Maybe wear it a little. > Maybe honk a little. For us. -Uncle Ruffles -- TEXT ENDS -- The aforementioned item can be retrieved from our offices or mailed to you as needed. -T. Hogge, Attorney at Law Law Offices of Hogge and Wylde
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"Make a wish" spam

PUBLIC_NT *ALL [email protected] [email protected] LOW Hi it's thought you might find this funyy!! >> (scroll down) >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Make a wish!!! >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> No, really, go on and make one!!! >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> wish something else!!! >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Not that, you pervert!! >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Is your finger getting tired yet? >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>Stop!!!! >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Wasn't that fun? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- This e-mail is confidental and is not to be taken as a actual statement, idea, concept, or urge of Save the space whales!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Click here for super fun backgrounds!!!
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The water (SS06 lore)

PUBLIC_NT *COMMAND [email protected] [email protected] MEDIUM The water ***NANOTRASEN SECURITY INTERCEPT*** Message intercepted by censor and rerouted to mailnet: security_ss13 Contents of message classified, information for command staff only Message contents: Don't drink the water. NT puts something in it. They did on ss6, anyway. I don't know if they've done it to 13 yet. Hopefully they haven't, and there's still time. SS6 was always a shithole, and everyone hated it, but lately everyone's stopped caring. They love their fucking jobs now. Everyone but me. I pretend, but they know. I can feel them staring at me. They know I'm not happy, and that's not right. I've known something was wrong for weeks, but now I'm sure. It's the water. It's the only thing it can be. I haven't been affected because all I ever drink is that shitty coffee from the vending machines. The HoP's in on it. He has to be. He's the only person I've seen frown in the past 2 months. I think he knows. He knows I haven't drunk the water. I'm out of time, now. The vending machines haven't been restocked. I haven't drunk anything in 2 days. I can feel myself dehydrating. soon, I'll have to drink. the water is all that will be left. But I have to do something. I have to warn someone. Maybe your water is already bad. Maybe it's too late. but I have to. Don't drink the water. Don't trust the company. Robert Kingston Electrician Space Station 06 Censor's note: Information on SS6 Head of Personnel Alexander Trenton's morale-boosting initiative is currently for command staff only.
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Don't touch the purple artifacts (SS16 lore)

PUBLIC_NT *ALL [email protected] [email protected] HIGH DON'T TOUCH THE PURPLE ARTIFACTS I'm trying to write this as fast as I can. The powernet here is gone, the hull is fucked six ways from sunday and there's fucking THINGS goddamn everywhere picking us off like vermin. They used to be men. Now they're just.. things. The weird purple stone artifacts that have been popping up more and more frequently as of late, always found in strange and unlikely places you'd never expect to find them. DO NOT FUCK WITH THEM. IF YOU FIND ONE, DESTROY IT. We were running a routine battery of tests on one of those things, suddenly these weird fucking green eyes appear all over in the room, you could see them even if you closed your eyes. It started saying horrible fucking things to all of us, things I can't repeat. Then one of the men, he tried to smash it with a crowbar, that's when it started fucking zapping him. Turned him into some kind of fucking monster. He seemed to know full well what was going on the entire time. He's still outside my office door, banging on it. He won't stop screaming. None of them will. They keep trying to kill themselves and each other. They just lose their minds more and more until they start lashing out at everything. Blabbering some unintelligable shit - one of them intentionally overloaded the station reactor, more of them have been smashing holes in the hull and throwing themselves out. It's only a matter of time until the air supply fails in here. The man outside my door.. Thomas Hines he used to be called. He keeps jabbering shit through a hole in my window every so often. Says the artifact told him things. He claims that they're put there specifically for us to find, that all of them are linked, somehow? Something about how ALL of those artifacts are just extensions of one entity that has learned how to peek in from whatever horrible fuckhole it lives in and see us, and now it's fucking with us for some reason. Battery power's running out on this thing. It's either stay in here and choke or go out there and be turned into... that. I've got a gun in here. It's probably better than either of those. SS16 is done, just fucking level it and start over. Tell my family that.. just tell them there was an accident. Don't say any more. I'm sorry.
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COME QUICK DISTRESS (Hemera VII lore)

PUBLIC_NT COMMAND [email protected] [email protected] HIGH COME QUICK DISTRESS *************************************** PRIORITY ALERT - ALL STATIONS IN REGION *************************************** QUARANTINE LEVEL OMEGA-ONE IS NOW IN EFFECT AT INSTALLATION HEMERA-7. SITUATION IS UNTENABLE. EVACuATION IMPOSSiBLE. DO NOT SEND HELP. DO NOT APPROACH. DO No do noT do do sen end hel l l l ll l l hel HeLLo FrIEnDS
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Oh god, anyone (Message in a ...diskette?)

Sounds like someone's in the really old critter maze that used to be in part of VR.

PUBLIC_NT *ALL [email protected]! [email protected] URGENT Oh god, anyone If you find this, I'm fucking trapped in this shitty ass maze. Please fucking let me out. I found a pen and a few pieces of paper, and here I am trying to fire them out of a fucking garbage disposal unit in the hope that someone finds it. There's a god damned lion in the other room. I can see it prancing in the waves of an artificial ocean. I'm locked in a room with fancy-as-shit carpet and a computer, but the computer doesn't do fucking anything, it only runs DOS. What the fuck? Who uses DOS these days? There's something at the door. It knocked a few times.
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Network usage policy

PUBLIC_NT *ALL [email protected] [email protected] HIGH NETWORK USAGE POLICY It has come to my attention again that one or more of you have been using allocated free drive space on the station network to store personal entertainment software and other frivolous non-essential files. Specifically, we have once again found copies of the Jennifer's Martian Fun Night FunRom series in the network's allocated free space. The individual responsible has been discovered and disciplined for this indiscretion; should any of you elect to continue these activities, you can expect the same disciplinary measures. May I once again take the opportunity to remind you all that the station network is NOT to be used for the storage of any kind of nonessential or personal data. Entering non-approved files into the system can constitute a serious security risk, and in addition consumes space that our research teams need for work. May I also remind you all that the Jennifer's Martian Fun Night series is infact illegal contraband; please consult your NanoTrasen Acceptable Conduct Guidebook, specifically Section 7, Subsection 12, Human/Extraterrestrial Relations I will, of course, not be getting into the paticular moral fallacies present here, as they should be self-evident. The network will be checked daily for new files beginning next shift by our security and research divisions. I hope no further conduct of this nature will occur in future. Karen Greives | NT13 Network Administrator Nanotrasen, Inc.
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Lava Moon

These are the four emails that are on the lava moon's mainframe.

AUTOMATED ALERT

PUBLIC_XG *ALL LOCALHOST [email protected] HIGH AUTOMATED ALERT This is an automated alert message sent as part of the XIANG-GEISEL AUTOMATED HAZARD WARNING SYSTEM. This message has been sent due to the detection of a critical safety hazard by plant sensors. !! CRITICAL RADIATION HAZARD DETECTED !! All personnel are to evacuate to the landing pad safety area at once and wait for further instructions. THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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End-shift flight delays

PUBLIC_XG *ALL [email protected] [email protected] HIGH End-shift flight delays Hello Staff, In spite of our extensive efforts and much communication with the shuttle lines, we have been unable to secure transit to bring in the next shift. We are all deeply sorry for this, and assure you that you will all be compensated appropriately for the extra duty time. Current expectations are no more than a month delay, which is well within plant operation and supply tolerances. Again, we apologize for the wait. Please bear with us. Johann Eisenhauer Xiang-Giesel Advanced Power Systems
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Plant Cleanliness

PUBLIC_XG *ALL [email protected] [email protected] NORMAL Plant Cleanliness Hey folks, I had really hoped it wouldn't have come to this, but this looks to be the only way: clean up after yourselves, or the SHAME BOARD will be trotted back out. *Keep your work area free of wrappers and other trash. *Keep the restroom in good condition, there is only one in this module. THIS MEANS YOU, GARY. *The break room doesn't clean itself! Trash goes in the trash bins!
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Magma Chamber Safety

PUBLIC_XG *ALL [email protected] [email protected] HIGH Magma Chamber Safety Believe me, I know that our recent discovery down there is fascinating, but that's no reason to ignore existing regulations and safety procedures in place for the magma chamber area.
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