Wizard

The Space Wizard Federation has gotten their beards in a twist about something, and decided to send their most powerful Archmage to destroy Space Station 13. Unfortunately, he was busy, so they sent some idiot instead. Of course, even a bad wizard is still capable of bending reality to his (or her! The Federation has witches too!) whims. Compared to other jerks you may encounter on the station, wizards can be a most dangerous antagonist in terms of fighting off large numbers of crew at once, but they don't have much in the way of subtlety due to the theatrics and whimsy space magic.

Equipment

The wizard's den and homebase.

In addition to the basic gear every wizard spawns with, there's a variety of miscellaneous supplies and machinery to be found on the shuttle.

Item	Image	Description
Wizard's hat		Comes in different colors. All clothes are magically enhanced, making it harder for the crew to strip you naked in an instant.
Wizard's robe		You cannot cast any spells if you don't have your complete magical outfit (hat and robe).
Magic sandals		Keeps the wearer from slipping on ice and from falling down after being hit by a runaway segway. They also double as galoshes. Magically enhanced just like your robes and hat, so it is extraordinarily difficult for crew to strip these off of you.
Wizard's staff		Your spells will be greatly weakened, not last as long, and take longer to recharge if you cast them without one of these.
Staff of Cthulhu		Optional enchantment, see explanation below.
Spellbook		Your very own magical book to chose spells from. It is attuned to your person and cannot be used by another wizard or somebody dressed as one.
Teleportation scroll		Allows instant teleportation to an area of your choice. It is very common for players to open up the teleport menu and simply leave it up with the wizard's den selected. This lets them zip back if they're ever in trouble. The scroll has four charges.
Wizardry 101		The basic ingame equivalent of this wiki page.
Mugwort tea		See Chemistry.
'Every Flavour' jellybeans		Six generic jellybeans to make golems from, with a chance of containing almost any reagent in the game. Usually this is nothing but sugar, but occasionally it can be a mildly dangerous reagent such as porktonium, and rarely something incredibly dangerous like secret chems. They can't be extracted using Reagent Extractors (it will always come out as sugar this way), but you can still see the beans' contents before using them by stealing a reagent scanner.
MagiVend & Magical wardrobe		Both contain spare staves and magical clothing.
Magix System IV		Controls the shuttle's outer airlock and built-in teleporter, which has unlimited uses but has to recharge after every one.
Magic mirror		Shows the objectives of all magic users in any given round when examined by a wizard. Intended to promote a little bit of teamwork.

Available spells

Wizards pay for their spells in so-called magic points, and you get four to spend as you see fit. None of these spells can be used while unconscious, nor can they be cast while standing in the chapel. Handcuffs are a concern in the sense that you're unable to hold a staff in your hand.

Enchantment

Passive buffs that increase your fighting ability or odds of survival in some manner.

Name	Cost	Description
Staff of Cthulhu	1	The crew will normally steal your staff and run off with it to cripple your casting abilities, but that doesn't work so well with this version. Any non-wizard dumb enough to touch or pull the Staff of Cthulhu takes massive brain damage and is knocked down for quite a while, and hiding the staff in a closet or somewhere else is similarly ineffective given that the owner can summon it to his active hand at will. It also makes a much better bludgeoning weapon than the regular staff, hitting harder and occasionally inflicting brain damage. Taking this effectively sacrifices a spell slot, however, which may not be worth it.
Soulguard	1	Soulguard is basically a one-time "do-over" that teleports you back to the wizard shuttle in the event that you die, respawning you in a new body and completely naked. However, the enchantment doesn't trigger if your body has been gibbed or otherwise destroyed. Also note that wizards can prepare teleportation spells for pre-casting fairly easily. Unless you're really afraid of getting instantly knocked into critical by something like a chemical reaction or explosion, you may want to hold on soulguard and use the spell slot for something else.

Utility

Name	Cooldown	Cost	While stunned?	Description	Effect w/o staff
Clairvoyance	60 seconds	Free	✓	States the general location of a target, even if they're inside a closet or similar container. The chaplain and people standing in the chapel will block your attempt to pinpoint them.	Takes longer to recharge.
Phase shift	30 seconds	Free	✓	Lets you simply move through walls, doors, and whatever other detritus that sits in your way. Other people can't attack you as long as you're incorporeal, and phaseshifting while on fire will extinguish the flames.	Doesn't last as long, takes longer to recharge.
Summon S. of Cthulhu	60 seconds	(1)	✗	Available to the owner of the staff. Cast the spell and it'll magically show up in your hand (or on the floor if you have both hands full) provided the crew hasn't crushed it yet.
Blink	10 seconds	1	✓	Randomly teleports you a short-to-medium distance in the direction you're facing. Good for escaping or breaking into places, but beware that you can end up overshooting your intended target or end up moving only one tile forward. You can't blink into space or the chapel either.	Teleport is less accurate.
Teleport	45 seconds	1	✓	Comes with unlimited charges, unlike that scroll in your pocket. Teleport can take you anywhere on the station and back to your shuttle. Unlike the scroll, however, the spell won't send you there instantly, but does extinguish flames if you happen to be on fire. There's a short delay that leaves you vulnerable for a moment.	Takes longer to recharge.
Knock	10 seconds	1	✓	Opens all doors, closets, crates and cyborg head compartments in a five tile radius. Also unlocks the interface of various robots. Great for getting into places and lockers without having to worry about getting a high-ranking ID or for dealing with the cyborgs after the crew makes wizards non-human. Rip their brains out and throw them in your bag, they make great trophies!	Restricted to point-blank range.
Empower	40 seconds	1	✓	Temporarily gives you the hulk superpower for 30 seconds, allowing you to bash down walls, rip apart handcuffs and punch people with great force, sending them flying. You also get the classic form of telekinesis. Unlike its more recent replacement, old TK enables you to directly interact with the world without being in close range to anything - pick up and use items, operate computers or attack the crew from across the room. And yes, it can be combined with hulk.	No TK, doesn't last as long.
Animate dead	85 seconds	1	✓	Causes the skeleton of a nearby corpse to tear itself free and come to life. The body and all the stuff on it is gibbed in the process. These skeletons are extremely hostile to anyone other than wizards and will chase people down, then knock them over and beat them to death with their horrid, undead strength. They're a little fragile and not too hard to run from, but they're tenacious: They will repair themselves if downed and are pretty good at killing lone targets or people you've stunned with other spells. Keep in mind that every corpse these things create is another potential skeletal servant!	Takes longer to recharge.
Summon golem	50 seconds	1	✗	Turns any reagent in a container which you're holding in your active hand while casting this into a golem made of the substance. The golem is a critter that will attack anybody it sees with the exception of wizards. Their effectiveness depends on what is used to make them: the most present reagent (or if they're the same reagent volume, whichever is higher on the list) determines the golem type which applies that chemical's TOUCH reaction for each punch, and becomes a breathable smoke cloud of that chemical upon death. The chemicals used to make the Golem are internally stored and forcibly injected into its targets until it runs dry. For understandable reasons, it's very common for wizards using this spell to teleport into chemistry or the bar and make several beakers of the nastiest chemicals available. The 'Every Flavour' beans on the wizard shuttle can also be used to make golems.	Takes longer to recharge.

Defensive

Name	Cooldown	Cost	While stunned?	Description	Effect w/o staff
Warp	10 seconds	1	✓	The devious sibling of blink. Sends a target to a random location within several tiles of your field of vision. While it may either send unlucky crew into a blazing inferno or barely two inches away from your place, it does have the fortune of recharging quickly.	Target is more likely to end up closer to you.
Forcewall	10 seconds	1	✓	Causes a wall of force to project from your sides, stopping anyone from passing through the wall for 30 seconds. Good for blocking off a hallway while you make your escape or wait for cooldowns to finish.	Wall is shorter.
Spell shield	30 seconds	1	✓	Encases you in a magical shield for 10 seconds that blocks all projectiles and melee attacks. Also reduces the severity of explosions.
Doppelganger	30 seconds	1	✓	Similar to phase shift, but with a twist. A copy of you goes in the direction you were facing before, while you turn invisible and can get away in the opposite direction. The type of obstacles you can pass through are limited (windows, doors and solid objects), and walls will still be impenetrable. Nevertheless, doppelganger tends to lead the crew on a wild-goose chase and can thus be useful for making a quick escape.

Offensive

Name	Cooldown	Cost	While stunned?	Description	Effect w/o staff
Magic missile	20 seconds	Free	✓	Unleashes homing bolts of energy that automatically target up to six of the nearest crew members. Knocks down and stuns anyone unlucky enough to get beaned by it, and deals a minor amount of damage. The missiles are slow and can be outrun easily, however.	Targets only one person.
Ice burst	20 seconds	1	✓	If magic missile wasn't enough to take care of the hordes, this spell typically will. Throw freezing balls of frost that leave trails of ice in their wake! Your victims (up to three) will be chilled to the bone and often frozen solid in blocks of ice. Any that aren't will slip and fall face-first on the ice unless they're wearing magic sandals. (Galoshes and walking will do nothing.) Use this fact to outrun them.	Targets only one person, doesn't coat the floor in ice.
Blind	10 seconds	1	✓	Temporarily inflicts blindness on a target of your choice, and also stuns them briefly. The blindness part can only be blocked by VISOR goggles.	Doesn't last as long.
Bull's charge	15 seconds	1	✗	Records your movement for 4 seconds, after which a massive bull charges along the recorded path, smacking anyone unfortunate to get in its way (excluding yourself) and dealing a significant amount of brute damage in the process. Watch your head for loose items, they are thrown around too. Because bull's charge is very situational and somewhat hard to master, you should combine it with magic missile or another spell that stuns your victims.
Rathen's secret	50 seconds	1	✓	Send asses flying as the power of your spell tears them from their owners! This fiendish magic stuns the victims with a rare chance of also severing a limb, and kicks up a plume of smoke that's great for quick escapes. If the victim's ass is already gone, this spell becomes much meaner, dealing moderate damage and increasing the chance of limb loss on top of the stun.
Clown's Revenge	120 seconds	1	✓	Can you hear it? The pained laughter? The dull smack of a forehead against metal and glass? The incessant need to honk without end? Spare all pity and show no mercy, for you have brought the curse of the cluwne to the station! Even the worst of threats will be reduced to that of a hideous, mewling, crying, honking ur-clown in a puff of smoke, leaving it with no easy means to save itself from its dreadful clothing and ghoulish cranial damage. The accursed clothing will eventually molt away after some few minutes, but the residual curse of clumsiness will remain unless cured by the touch of a holy man, cyborg conversion, or the sweet release of death.
Pandemonium	40 seconds	1	✓	The spell of the wizard who's feeling lucky today! This spell can have any of the following effects: temporarily halves the cooldown of all your spells; randomly summons meteors or a bunch of grilles around you; temporarily gives everybody funny accents or breaks their radios; makes you use the vampire's chiropteran screech; stuns people around you briefly, makes them high or sets them on fire.	The random effect may harm you as well.
Fireball	20 seconds	1	✓	Casts a homing fireball that explodes on impact with the target, severely everybody in the vicinity and setting them alight. Will also wreck nearby walls and machinery, so you could deliberately target the cloning equipment or use the splash damage to hit someone who is hiding around a corner. Very deadly due to the combination of blast damage, limb loss, stun and the effects from burning up alive (accumulating burn damage, movement penalty etc.). Be advised that the fireball can also heat and ignite flammable materials caught in its wake, including yourself.	Weaker explosion, shorter range.
Prismatic Spray	35 seconds	1	✓	Spews out 12 projectiles of random damage and effect in a very wide cone in the direction of where you're aiming. Damage is highly variable, and the projectiles usually won't damage the station. Accuracy is abysmal, but if you're getting mobbed or firing at close range, that doesn't matter so much. Other wizards are immune to the projectiles.	Can't cast spell at all.
Baleful Polymorph	180 seconds	1	✓	Permanently turns the target into a random playable critter, which will greatly reduce their amount of equipment slots. Close range spell.	Longer cooldown, victim still permanently transformed.
Shocking touch	80 seconds	1	✗	Has a range of two tiles, but it cannot be cast on a moving target during (very short) charging sequence. A powerful electric arc will erupt from your fingertips, burning the target into critical condition. The arc can then jump to nearby people (3x3 range centered on the person you initially aimed at), burning and momentarily stunning every mob it passes through. This means shocking touch can double as a passable crowd control spell if used correctly.	Only the initial victim is targeted and burnt (though not critically so), nobody else.

Wizardry 101

You spawn on the wizard's den in your underwear. Grab a robe and hat of your choice from the magical wardrobe, get yourself a staff (plus a few spares you put in your backpack or backpack box) and make sure you have your teleportation scroll. Choose your spells and head over to the computer at the front of your ship, and use it to teleport wherever you want. Keep in mind, your game plan is based on what spells you have. If you're planning on doing some murder and have knock, consider going to the armory in the brig for shotguns. If you want to make golems, consider robbing chemistry or the bar.

Zip around and focus on getting your objectives done. Strongly consider dealing with the chaplain. Track him down and murder him if he didn't already launch himself into space out of boredom before you showed up. Chaplains are immune to most of your spells, so it's easiest to get your hands on a taser or something similar to bash his head in. The chapel's holy aura will stop you from casting spells, so don't follow people in there.

You probably aren't going to succeed the first time you play wizard, so don't feel bad. It's practically expected that a wizard will die in twelve seconds. Wizards usually only come in groups of one to three, so numbers are always going to be against you. Watch and learn from other wizards, and mentorhelp any questions you might have.

Fighting a Wizard

Please be aware of the special guidelines regarding the wizard shuttle.

If you're the chaplain, you don't have to worry about most of his spells (the ones that summon followers or destroy parts of the station can still hurt you, though). If you aren't, the wizard is a deadly opponent. Stunning a wizard will make him drop his staff but won't prevent him from casting spells. They'll just be weakened. Your aim is to knock him out, which will stop him from casting. The best way to do this is with the assistance of an angry mob to overwhelm him. Once knocked out, try to strip him naked and beat him to death with blunt objects. A little bit of acid will also help, as it can melt away the wizard's clothes, completely shutting down their spellcasting. A wizard is capable of teleporting away to his den if prepared, so if you stun him, knock him out as fast as possible and don't allow him to recover. Wizards can choose soulguard, which will save their life one time, in which case you'll have to kill them twice.

Occasionally, you may come across a wizard with Baleful Polymorph, who may turn you into an adorable (but quite useless) doggie or space goose. Don't fret! Though you have greatly reduced health, speed, and amount of equipment slots as a critter, you can still continue to fight against the wizard, albeit in reduced capacity than before. In most cases, you won't be able to use most weapons, but you'll always be able to wage a little chemical warfare against the wizard (unless you've become a slug. In which gas, the only warfare you'll wage is your slime trail against the Janitor), in w. Just be aware, in the name of all things holy, that unless you were an antagonist before you were polymorphed, you should not be attacking random crew members just because.

In addition, if you find your puny little meatbag critter body, you can ask a Roboticist to butcher out your brain and place it a cyborg chassis. Now, under default cyborg laws, you won't be able to harm the (human) wizard, but you'll be much more equipped to handle the bloodshed and station damage the wizard causes.

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