This is a list of every possible job to choose.
While the job descriptions do reflect some actual truths or common behaviors/occurances, they are mainly jokes and are not the actual job description. They should not be taken as actual instructions or advice. Please don't randomly fight people as a staff assistant. Unless you're an antagonist of course.
In addition, if you're on the Goon Roleplay servers (Goonstation Roleplay 3: Morty and Goonstation Roleplay 4: Sylvester), you're expected to respect your job's boundaries and do your associated job duties. Mind you, you aren't expected to do them perfectly or know everything there is to them, just put in a good ol' college effort. You're not gonna, say, get banned for not knowing how reattach a limb as a doctor. See RP Rules in general and Rules #5 & #6 in particular for more details/explanations.
The Goonstation Classic servers (Goonstation Classic 1: Heisenbee and Goonstation Classic 2: Bombini) are not subject to these restrictions, and you are thus allowed to do things not normally associated with your job, like repairing walls as a Chaplain or doing surgery as a Mechanic. Naturally, you aren't expected be perfect either, and most people there are perfectly okay with that. However, things still get iffy and complicated if you want to perform duties normally done by Security Officers, like hunt down antags; when in doubt, adminhelp (Hotkey: F1) for clarification. And, of course, the Rules still apply.
The difficulty rankings on this page are based on two factors:
- Expertise: The game knowledge and skills that are involved in this job, i.e. mechanical difficulty. This considers both depth and breadth/variety, and for "easy to pick up, hard to master" roles like Botanist, these tend to be placed on the lower end of the expertise scale.
- Responsibility: The impact your actions, including your successes and failures, will have other players, i.e. social difficulty. Jobs where you need to obey special rulesets, like Head of Security, tend to be higher on the scale.
Good newbie jobs are often require little expertise and don't involve a lot of responsibility, e.g. Chef, Janitor. Some roles might be low on one scale but pretty high in another, e.g. as AI, you often perform simple tasks like opening doors, but following your silicon laws can get pretty complicated. Some jobs are pretty high on both factors. For example, a lot of people find Security Officer difficult because there are a lot of different skills involved, like putting someone in a Brig cell or recognizing what is/isn't considered a crime, and you sometimes need to juggle a lot of situations, where what you do/don't respond to and how you respond to them can significantly affect the flow of the round.
These difficulty ratings assume some average rounds. Your mileage may vary. You might have an extra-easy Security Officer round where nothing really happens and you mostly chill in the Bar, and you might have a super-hard Staff Assistant round where you're constantly fighting for your life and barely make it to the end alive.
These are jobs that contribute to the crew's overall performance and efficiency,
sometimes rarely. On the latejoin "Select a Job" and Job Preferences menus, these jobs are colored light blue, with the exception of Clown, which gets a gaudy hot pink.
|Staff Assistant||Produce mass quantities of bath salts in maint, be a nuisance, and ruin everything. Save the station when the nukies arrive. Scavenge the station for
||Easy||Maintenance, Tech Storage|
|Chef||Accidentally get tomato-flooded by Botany. Deep-fry everything. Make non-Euclidean sandwiches. Place pies inside pies that contain pies.||Easy||Kitchen|
|Chaplain||Steal corpses for funerals. Fart on your bible. Never be around when you are actually needed. Hand out bibles to monkeys. Become the Buddhist-Jewish-Christian-Muslim-Hindu-Atheist-Satanist prophet the station needs.||Easy||Chapel, Morgue|
|Bartender||Get drunk. Lose your liver and your shotgun in your drunken stupor. Become a victim of Russian Roulette two minutes into the round.||Easy||Bar|
|Botanist||Completely ignore the chef's requests; start a grow-op. Click
||Easy to Medium||Hydroponics, Maintenance|
|Janitor||Clean already clean floors; whine about beatings. Stuff everything into your trash cart. Clean up crime scenes before Security has a chance to investigate.||Easy to Medium||Janitor's Closet, Medbay, Morgue, Maintenance|
|Rancher||Yell "yeehaw!" and slide over railings in style. Make too many chickens and proceed to die to said chickens. Start a small army of raptors to attack those who cross you on the dusty trail.||Easy to Medium||Ranch, Hydroponics, Maintenance|
|Clown||Trip on your own shoes; regret your existence immediately. Save the station when nobody expects it. Get beaten for your efforts. Bully cluwnes to compensate for your terrible job. Consider going back to law school.||H o n k !||Maintenance|
These jobs are charged with station upkeep and engineering support. On the latejoin "Select a Job" and Job Preferences menus, these jobs are colored orange yellow.
|Mechanic||Scan ALL the things. Build the most (needlessly) elaborate door bell for your workshop. Become the ultimate hackerman.||Medium||Mechanics Workshop, Maintenance|
|Engineer||Harness the power of a fire hotter than the Sun/earthquakes/a blackhole to keep the lights on. Rebuild Medbay into a combination hospital/clubhouse/hotel/museum/chair storage facility after it blows up. Misplace your insulated gloves, find your spare pair is mysteriously missing.||Easy to Medium||Engineering, Maintenance|
|Miner||Become a blind Swedish Elvis after a mishap with radioactive ore. Lose your butt in an explosion, use it to make a custom pick. Run out of air.||Medium||Mining Department, Mining Outpost, Maintenance|
|Quartermaster||Buy bees and booze. Blow the budget on exotic trinkets. Point and stare at the tourists in the Cargo Bay. Declare independence from the rest of the station.||Medium||Cargo Bay, Maintenance|
These jobs are charged with researching new, exciting technologies and breakthroughs as well as providing medical treatment. On the latejoin "Select a Job" and Job Preferences menus, these jobs are colored blue-purple/purple-blue.
|Medical Doctor||Never heal anyone; whine when people take medkits. Practice brain surgery on yourself. Harvest monkey organs for cash. Join the round 30 minutes late just to find out you're the only doctor. Discover that Medbay has been looted and bombed. Perform a heart transplant while drunk and high. Focus all medical efforts on the Bar.||Medium||Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Maintenance|
|Geneticist||Make volunteers Skeleton Swedish Elvis. Fight a losing battle against
||Easy to Medium||Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Genetics, Maintenance|
|Roboticist||Steal all the butts for buttbots. Demand skulls for the skull throne. Give a botanist chainsaw arms. Get murdered by the Cyborgs you built. Build yourself a friend, leave them on the station when the escape shuttle arrives. Annoy the medical director to let you build a second AI.||Medium||Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Robotics, Maintenance|
|Scientist||Ignore the Artifact Lab; synthesize nerve agents and drugs without a gas mask. Steal the AI using Telescience. Heat the burn mix canister, burn to death in a massive fire. Test dangerous concoctions on monkeys. Gain the undying loyalty of staff assistants with triple meth. Attract the love and hate of everyone. Attempt to combine every drug into one pill.||Medium to Hard||Artifact Lab, Chemistry, Toxins Research, Toxins Storage, Research Sector, Teleporter Lab|
These jobs are the administration of the station. They manage the station and ensure everyone is safe and productive. On the latejoin "Select a Job" and Job Preferences menus, Security jobs are colored red, with the exception of the Nanotrasen Security Consultant, which is blue, while Command ones are green.
|Security Assistant||Ticket everything that moves and occasionally things that don't. Accost the Chef for more doughnuts. Lose them to the Clown.||Medium||Security, Brig, Maintenance, Firearms Carry Permit, Handling of Contraband Permit|
|Security Officer||Do your job correctly, only to arouse anger from those you've sworn to protect. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later and get farted on until you quit. Get the respect of a mall cop.||Underappreciated (Hard)||Security, Security Equipment, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors, Chemistry, Maintenance, Hydroponics, Cargo Bay, Firearms Carry Permit, Handling of Contraband Permit|
|Detective||Have your vital gear stolen by someone. Have one too many at the Bar. Monologue the farts of you and your crew. Force journalists and tourists to follow you around.||Easy to Hard||Detective's Office, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors, Maintenance, Firearms Carry Permit, Handling of Contraband Permit|
|Nanotrasen Security Consultant||Arrive to bring order to chaos, find you don't have enough order for all the chaos. Wind up just calling the escape shuttle instead, tickle the Clown with your gun to pass the time.||Medium to Hard||Bridge, Security, Security Equipment, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors, Chemistry, Maintenance, Hydroponics, Cargo Bay, Firearms Carry Permit, Handling of Contraband Permit)|
|Chief Engineer||Make the station hotter than the surface of the Sun; make hella bank. Suffocate in areas you're too lazy to repair.||Medium||Engineering, Mechanics Workshop, Cargo Bay, Mining Department, Mining Outpost, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance|
|Medical Director||Get less respect than a cardboard box. Anesthetize patients with your gun.
||Medium||Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Pathology, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance|
|Research Director||Sell "medicinal" drugs for cash. Accidentally delete the network. Explode into spiders.||Medium to Hard||Research, Artifacts, Toxins Research, Toxins Storage, Chemistry, Telescience, Teleporter, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance|
|Head of Security||Get rehired, remind everyone why you were fired in the first place. Stomp your hat. Put an end to any and all fun.||Nightmarish||Make your own Captain-level ID (plus Head of Security's Office, Armory)|
|Head of Personnel||Hand off your responsibilities to anyone willing.
||Medium to Hard||Make your own Captain-level ID|
|Captain||Shoot your cat. Reprogram the AI and become Double Captain. Confiscate all drugs, alcohol, and cash. Hand off your job to the clown as soon as trouble arrives. Promote Beepsky to Head of Security. Embezzle all of the payroll money. Make bee-harming illegal.||All-Access Staff Assistant (Medium to Hard)||Everything (minus Head of Security's Office|, Armory)|
These are the enemies of the station. They commit murder and outrageous acts of violence against the crew.
Some antags are so bad, they have their own game modes.
|Antagonist Roles With a Mode of Their Own|
|Traitor||Buy a glowy sword. Hit yourself with the glowy sword. Be the villain the station deserves.||Medium to Hard||Depends on job|
|Nuclear Operative||Speak over the radio two minutes in. Get shot by your own team. Spend 30 minutes discussing a detailed plan, then explode before setting foot on the station.||Hard||Maintenance, Listening Post, Syndicate Battlecruiser|
|Wizard||Run around trying to kill everyone; get electrocuted by the AI. Whine, respawn, repeat.||Easy to Medium||Walk through walls|
|Changeling||Try to eat the chef's monkeys. Turn your victims into friends. Do a drive-by sting and get someone else brigged. Go loud, then get shoved in the gibber while on fire.||Easy to Hard||Depends on job, pry doors open (shambler)|
|Blob||Expand, destroy everything, absorb the crew. Attract plasma fires and pod lasers like a magnet.||All-consuming||Irrelevant|
|Gang Leader||Spawn your closet outside Security. Create a drug cartel. Get beat with a mop for spray painting the AI.||Nightmarish||Depends on job|
|Gangster||Join the gang with the coolest hats. Brutally murder other bustas.||Medium||Depends on job|
|Revolutionary Head||Inspire the people. Overthrow the heads of staff. Get your expensive revflash knocked out of your hand.||Easy to Hard||Depends on job|
|Revolutionary||Greytide to your heart's content. Attempt to bring the spirit of Che Guevera to the station, channel Maximilien Robespierre instead.||Easy to Hard||Depends on job|
|Spy Thief||Attempt to claim your bounty in the Bridge, only to find the Captain waiting there with a gun. Get yourself killed trying to photograph someone's butt. Claim every secret gadget, don't use any of them.||Easy to Hard||Depends on job|
|Vampire||Steal IV bags from Medbay. Make an army of braindead thralls. Turn into a bat.||Easy to Hard||Depends on job|
|Thrall||Moan creepily. Argue with the other thralls over who gets to nibble on victims. Get bopped by the janitor for spreading blood everywhere.||Easy to Hard||Depends on job|
|Conspirator||Get lost on the way to the Aviary. Attempt to regroup at the Bar, get too drunk to actually do any sinister deeds. Be ignored by your fellow conspirators.||Medium||Depends on job|
|Arcfiend||Steal all the electricity, zoom around in power cables, hit and run zap the crew. Fight changelings and become the ultimate antihero.||Medium||Depends on job, travel through power cables|
|Flockmind||Shout indecipherable nonsense at the AI. Get completely ignored. Boss around your drones. Get completely ignored.||CAW!||Irrelevant|
Some antagonists don't have their own modes and thus less common. Others only appear under certain circumstances.
|Antagonist Roles Without Their Own Mode|
|Werewolf||Appearance: Mixed (Action) mode
Run around with a top hat. Howl at the ice moon.
|Hard||Pry doors open|
|Wraith||Appearance: Traitor and Mixed (Action) modes
Spook the crew's guts out. Get shot in the face when you manifest to gloat. Repeat once.
|Poltergeist||Appearance: Traitor and Mixed (Action) modes
Write "FART" out in blood in front of the Chapel. Fill the living's PDAs with cheesy messages. Die (again) after straying too far from wraith master.
|Ghastly||Float through walls|
|Wrestler||Appearance: Mixed (Action) mode
Wrestle everybody and everything. Who needs that belt anyway?
|Medium||Depends on job|
|Hunter||Appearance: Random event
Hunt the crew for trophies. Get murdered by cyborgs in ten minutes or less.
|Hard||Pry doors open|
|Grinch||Appearance: Christmas season
Destroy all the garland. Have your poisoned donuts forcefed to you.
|Mean||Depends on job|
|Krampus||Appearance: Christmas season, special spawn
Squirm. Scream. Block doors. Get stuck in space.
Special roles for players.
|AI||Open doors. Get bored. Get given a new law by someone Retract airbridges. Purge all the nonhumans.||Psychologically devastating||Everything|
|Cyborg||Ignore the AI, play dress-up. Write "fart" in tiles at escape. Run out of power.||Medium||Everything|
|Monkey||Become the chef's assistant. Get put on the spike for sandwich pizza pie.||Nightmarish||Depends on job, clamber over tables, climb into mail chutes|
|Cluwne||THE RINGMASTER DOESN'T RUN THE CIRCUS... HONK!!!!||KILL ME PLEASE IT HURTS TO LIVE HONK HONK!!!||Whatever ID you used to have, assuming no enterprising thieves steal it|
|Ghost||Whine in deadchat. Desperately try to make Robotics and Genetics remember your corpse. Show off your haircut. Give advice to the local poltergeist.||Spooky||Irrelevant|
|Ghost Drone||Repair stuff. Get a shit hat put on you by some shadow. Attempt to take it off. Fail. Suicide out of misery.||Easy||Engineer, squeeze through doors|
|Critter||Drink beer. Eat food. Steal crayons. Get squished.||Easy||Depends on the critter.|
|Santa Claus||Flood the station with presents and snacks. Spread the magic of Christmas/Spacemas wherever you go.||Jolly||Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)|
|Kudzuperson||Befriend the Botanists. Make art with inactive kudzu. See paranoid crew burn it away.||Green||None|
Job of the Day
Every day of week one of these jobs will be available to people who join after the round has started. Note that that Mime is a weird case, in that they're available every day as a gimmick job, but on Monday, they get a second job slot available from being Job of the Day.
Note: Job titles in italics are alternative job titles, which are sometimes used in replacement of the standard one.
|Job of the Day|
|Raid the Chapel for the alternate mime outfit. Ponder your job's status as both a Job of the Day and regular gimmick job available every day with the other mime. Get your hat AND mask stolen in the process.||. . .||Maintenance|
|Try to give a man a trim, end up scalping them instead. Give a bald man an afro with barber magic. Dye it pink. Cut it off and wear it. Repeat. Be arrested for stealing the Head of Security's hair. Get your revenge by channeling your inner Sweeney Todd.||Frustrating||Maintenance|
(Head of Deliverying, Head of Mailmanning)
|Go postal. Get arrested for breaking into secure areas. Suffocate while trying to get to your office.||Easy||Maintenance, Bridge, EVA, AI Upload, Cargo Bay, Where mail can be delivered!|
|Have your suitcase stolen; represent the thief in court. Let the changeling out of the brig to review their case. Take the vampire's muzzle off so he can give his statement.||Easy||Morgue, Maintenance|
|Run around taking photos of the floor. Get mugged by someone. Space yourself within minutes.||Easy||None|
|Sell your soul for a gold-plated fiddle. Lose it in a gambling match. Ask your other musicians how you can be both a Job of the Day and a regular gimmick job.||Easy||None|
|Punch a monkey in the face. Wind up in Medbay with several bandage wounds. Wind up in Medbay again after endorsing and consuming several questionable food and culinary products coming from the Kitchen.||Easy||Maintenance|
All these jobs are exclusively available to those who join a round after it starts, though slots are still limited, of course. They don't have very much of a job, leaving them to get into whatever antics they wish. On the latejoin "Select a Job" menu, they appear under the "Special Jobs" header. (Try not to read too much into that), usually in cyan, alongside a slot for Mime and Radio Host.
Note: Job titles in italics are alternative job titles, which are sometimes used in replacement of the standard one.
Slots for the these particular jobs always appear every round.
|Radio Show Host (Talk Show Host)||Host a radio show to keep the crew entertained. Be ignored. Play fart music out of boredom.||Easy||Maintenance|
|Mime||Have your hat AND mask stolen by the Clown. Attempt to explain how your vow of silence is not a vow at all in screams and farts. Get shot in the face while typing your custom emote.||. . .||Maintenance|
|Technical Assistant||Steal insulated gloves from Engineering. Wonder why you have the same access as a regular Staff Assistant.||Easy||Tech Storage, Maintenance|
|Medical Assistant||Take the spare Defibrillator from Medbay, disarm everyone. Whine about your lack of access to proper medical supplies.||Easy||Medbay, Maintenance, Tech Storage|
|Research Assistant||Ask the real science boys to let you play with plasma gas. Flex your Maintenance access, only rivalled by The Boss.||Easy||Research Sector, Chemical Lab, Telescience, Toxins Research, Maintenance, Tech Storage|
|Musician||Lay down some smooth jams. Have a rap-off with a brobocop; lose terribly.||Easy||None|
(Neurological Specialist, Ophthalmic Specialist, Thoracic Specialist, Orthopaedic Specialist, Maxillofacial Specialist, Vascular Specialist, Anaesthesiologist, Acupuncturist, Medical Director's Assistant)
|Accidentally drop your scalpel inside the patient's chest; consider it lost and stitch it closed. Help a Staff Assistant become a literal buttface.||Medium||Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Pathology, Maintenance|
The game also has slots for a random selection of the following jobs.
|Randomly-Appearing Gimmick Jobs|
|VIP (Senator, President, CEO, Board Member, Mayor, Vice-President, Governor)||Indulge in rampant corporate scandal. Hire random thugs as bodyguards. Get overthrown by security. Have drinks with the Captain.||Medium||Bridge, Handling of Contraband Permit|
|Pharmacist||Synthesize "safe" and "effective" medication. Sell them to clueless assistants. Create Strange Reagent all day, every day.||Easy||Research Corridors, Chemistry, Medbay, Morgue, Tech Storage, Maintenance|
|Union Rep||Demand equal rights for staff assistants. Get arrested for inciting a mob.||Medium||None|
|Diplomat (Ambassador)||Try to establish peaceful relations between humans and skeletons as murderous skeletons roam the station.||Medium||Bridge (always), AI Upload & AI Chamber (depending on map)|
|Salesman (Merchant)||Start a black market; find no one willing to buy your wares. Get subsequently looted.||Easy||None|
|Journalist||Pursue the next big scoop. Ask the saber-wielding traitor if he has time for some questions. Tip your hat; explode.||Easy||None|
|Coach||Blow your whistle at people. Try playing dodgeball using wrenches. FEEL THE BURN.||Easy||None|
|Sous Chef||Criticize the chef's cooking skills. Get hit over the head with a rolling pin.||Easy||Kitchen|
|Waiter||Relay your customer's orders to the kitchen; receive nothing but silence. Slip on a pool of vomit.||Easy||Kitchen, Bar|
|Apiculturist (Apiarist)||Bees. Bees everywhere.||Easy||Hydroponics, Maintenance|
|Psychologist (Therapist, Psychotherapist, Psychiatrist, Counselor, Life Coach)||Cover the Clown in gold star stickers. Prescribe amphetamines for every problem. Succumb to madness.||Easy||Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Maintenance|
|Test Subject||Become an unlikely hybrid of Doctor Zaius and Superman. Attempt to advocate for monkey rights. Accidentally bop into a wall while attempting to jump over a table.||Hard||None, hop over tables, climb into mail chutes|
|Regional Director||Pretend that you're important; get your all-access ID looted immediately.||Medium||Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)|
|Inspector||Criticize everyone at every possible opportunity. Get toolboxed by ungrateful crew members.||Medium||Medbay, Robotics, Genetics, Research Sector, Chemistry, Plasma Research, Bridge, Computer Core, Bar, Kitchen, Hydroponics, Cargo Bay, Security, EVA, Maintenance|
|Hollywood Actor||Attempt to channel your inner Rambo in the face of danger. Fail horribly.||Easy||None|
|Atmospherish Technician||Constantly correct people on your job title. Convince the crew to help you collect fart gas. Attempt to discover why Horizon still has air alarms.||Easy||EVA, Maintenance|
This is stuff that's either still in development, more or less abandoned for the time being, niche, used for events, or is entirely too ridiculous to be a regular feature.
|Hard-mode Traitor||Look up to the big boys; cry yourself to sleep because you don't get any of their fancy toys.||Medium to Hard||Depends on job|
|Omnitraitor||Spit acid, cast fireballs, summon bats, hit people with your sword - all at the same time!||Trivial||Pry doors open, walk through walls|
|Zombie||Moan for brains over the radio. Get beaten by a mob.||Apocalyptic||Depends on job|
|Macho Man||MACHO MADNESS, SKYYYY'S THE LIMIT!||GUARANTEED VICTORY||YEAH|
|Syndicate Special Operative||Get shot by your own team-mates. Slip over your own blood, lose your rifle to an Assistant. Explode.||Turkey Shoot to Cannon Fodder||Everything (plus Listening Post and Syndicate Battlecruiser, but minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)|
|Nanotrasen Special Operative||Fire you gun incessantly just to hear it pew-pew. Lose your laser assault rifle to a Clown. Defeat an ancient eldritch monster from the stars, only to die of suffocation.||Contra to X-COM||Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)|
|Pod War Pilot||Get lost somewhere out in space. Play propaganda over UVB-67's radio, only to have UVB-67 fall into the hands of the enemy. Don't do any mining for your team.||Hard||Everything (Minus enemy cruiser)|
|Battler||Spend your syndie donks on Space damage. Get attacked while waiting for the lootbox opening animation to finish. Escape, only to die to a BATTLE STORM.||April Fool||Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)|
|The Slasher||Be the horror movie killer of your dreams with all sorts of spooky powers. Use said powers just to stab people, then possess people so you can stab more people.||Horrific||Go incorporeal and phase through anything.|
|Floor Goblin||Run around under floors. Steal shoes. Get killed by an angry shoeless mob with crowbars.||Painfully easy||Travel under floors and doors|
These jobs appear during October and sometimes the days preceding it. They're accessible exclusively for people who join after the round's started. They all have a distinct orange hue in the Select a Job menu.
|Blue Clown||Conspire with the non-blue Clown to prank the entire Security department. Get your mask and shoes stolen by the Head of Security, end up using the other clown's spare set. Regret your existence.||H o n k !||Maintenance|
|Candy Salesman||Eat all your candy, wind up in diabetic coma. Wake up to find your purple top hat stolen. Attempt to buy magic beans from the Wizard, get exploded by a quark-gluon plasma golem instead.||Easy||None|
|Pumpkin Head||Try to crackle like a supervillian over the radio despite your constricted larynx. Get ignored. Lose yourself in a THC-coma after barging into Hydroponics to raise a pumpkin army to enact your revenge.||Easy||Maintenance, Tech Storage|
|WannaBEE||Vomit bees everywhere you go. Dye your hair different colors to get a rainbow of bees. Accidentally punch one of them, die in a flurry of stings.||Buzz buzz!||Hydroponics, Maintenance|
|Discount Dracula||Throw wine glasses at people. Get accused of being a vampire, escape to maintenance to hide with cloak of darkness. Get bitten by an actual Vampire who mistakes you for a fellow bloodsucker.||Easy||Maintenance|
|Discount Werewolf||Try to explain you're not actually a werewolf as paranoid botanists pelt you with wolfsbane. Accidentally befriend the real deal.||Easy||Maintenance|
|Discount Mummy||Build yourself a "tomb" in the Chapel. Moan about "returning the slab". Cut yourself up with scissors so medbay can cover you with more bandages.||Easy||Maintenance|
|Hot Dog||Embark on an epic quest to become the hottest dog. Pester the Chef and Cargo for more condiments. Get eaten by a changeling.||Easy||Maintenance|
|Discount Godzilla||Team up with fellow reptiles to produce your own Godzilla movie. Roar at people until you get ticketed by security for terrible acting.||Easy||Maintenance|
|Discount Macho Man||Endlessly quote Randy Savage. Challenge someone to go to the Gym and fight you in the ring, get ignored. Get beaten by a monkey.||Easy||Maintenance|
|Ghost||Get your bedsheet stolen by the Ghost Buster, end up chasing them through the station naked. Attempt to spook the crew by hiding in the hallways with your chameleon cloak, get shot in the face instead. Spot something peculiar through your ghost goggles...||Easy||N/A (Start with no ID)|
|Ghost Buster||Get arrested by Beepsky because you don't have a license for your ectoplasmic disintegrator, have it stolen by a Staff Assistant when you're down. Get chased by the Ghost. Discover a Wraith through your goggles, get beaten by a possessed fire-extinguisher before you can do anything.||Easy||Maintenance|
|Angel||Attempt to convince the Chaplain to curb on the blood sacrifices. Save a person from critical condition by using your healing touch, enter crit yourself when it backfires. See them enter crit anyways and succumb.||Easy||Chapel, Chapel Office, Morgue, Crematorium|
|Costume Vendor||Hawk your oddly-colored costumes to the crew. Put on the abomination costume during a shuttle ride, get thrown out the airlock while an actual changeling enters shambler mode.||Easy||None|
|Discount Superhero||Deflect questions about your costumes by showing off your super healing or resistance to fire/cold/radiation/hard vacuum. Shoot stun lasers/ice beams/your limbs at monkeys. Bite off more than you chew and narrowly escape only due to your adrenaline-induced super speed. Wonder why you took your training.||Easy||Security, Brig, Maintenance, Firearms Carry Permit, Handling of Contraband Permit|
Jobs that are no longer available to players. Most of these still exist in the code and could be re-enabled by an Admin with varying amount of effort.
|Elite Security||Gave players more power to punish each other; re-enacted the Stanford Prison Experiment immediately. Broke every article of the Geneva convention.||Hard||Everything|
|Chemist||Blew up the station with nothing but potato chips and water. Drove admins to drink.||Easy to Hard||Chemistry, Research Sector|
|Spy||Tried to fix what was wrong with Rev. Turned the station into Thunderdome anyway.||Hard||Depended on job|
|Intruder||Attempted to re-enact the The Colour Out of Space. Discontinued by higher inscrutable powers before it could even land.||Eldritch||Float through walls|
|Martian||Harvested the station crew for meat and turned them into fellow spaghetti monsters. Abandoned due to spaghetti code.||Squishy||None|
|The Welder||Stabbed people. Horrified coders.||Easy||None (Use Open nearby doors, ghost through via Welder Ghost)|
|Construction Worker||Converted half of the station's flooring into wood and sand tiles. Wished they could convert the other half. Sent back to the drafting boards.||Easy||Engineering, Maintenance|
|Devil||Taught crew members the forbidden art of jugglemancy through Faustian contracts for Spooktober. Taught grief instead despite not being an antagonist.||Easy||Chapel, Chapel Office, Morgue, Crematorium|
|Part-Time Vice Officer||Raided Botany; smoked their weed. Raided the Kitchen; ate their burgers. Dismissed due to redundancy.||Medium||Security, Brig, Hydroponics, Kitchen, Bar, Maintenance, Firearms Carry Permit, Handling of Contraband Permit|
|Played farty music over the radio. Established themselves as a talk show host, found no one to talk to. Got blown up when someone bombed the comms officer to take out the comms tower. Retired when Manta was decomissioned.||Easy||Medbay, Robotics, Genetics, Research Sector, Chemistry, Plasma Research, Bridge, Computer Core, Bar, Kitchen, Hydroponics, Cargo Bay, Security, EVA, Maintenance|
|Head Surgeon||Played wannabe Medical Director. Constantly got fired and hired by NanoTrasen throughout the years.||Medium||Bridge, Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Pathology, Maintenance|
|Jobs on Space Station 13|
|Captain · Head of Security · Head of Personnel · Chief Engineer · Research Director · Medical Director · Security Officer · Detective · Security Assistant · Nanotrasen Security Consultant|
|Geneticist · Roboticist · Scientist · Medical Doctor|
|Engineering||Quartermaster · Miner · Mechanic · Engineer|
|Civilian||Chef · Bartender · Botanist · Rancher · Janitor · Chaplain · Staff Assistant · Radio Host · Clown · Gimmick jobs|
|Jobs of the Day||Mime · Barber · Mailman · Lawyer · Tourist · Musician · Boxer|
|Antagonist Roles||With own mode||Arcfiend · Blob · Changeling · Conspirator · Gang Member · Flockmind · Nuclear Operative · Spy Thief · Traitor · Revolutionary · Vampire · Wizard|
|Others||Grinch · Hunter · Krampus · Werewolf · Wraith · Wrestler · Zombie · Gimmick antagonist roles|
|Special Roles||Artificial Intelligence · Battler · Cluwne · Critter · Cyborg · Ghost · Ghostdrone · Monkey · Santa Claus|