Difference between revisions of "Jobs"

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== Civilian Jobs ==
== Civilian Jobs ==
These are jobs that contribute to the crew's overall performance and efficiency, <s>sometimes<s> rarely.
These are jobs that contribute to the crew's overall performance and efficiency, <s>sometimes</s> rarely.
{|{{JobCat|F7F7F7|A7A7A7|F3F3F3|Civilian Jobs}}
{|{{JobCat|F7F7F7|A7A7A7|F3F3F3|Civilian Jobs}}

Revision as of 21:07, 9 October 2017

This is a list of every possible job to choose.

Please note!

The job descriptions are mainly jokes and are not the actual job description. Please don't randomly fight people as a staff assistant or build traps as a mechanic. Unless you're a traitor of course. And for the love of God at least try to do your job.

Civilian Jobs

These are jobs that contribute to the crew's overall performance and efficiency, sometimes rarely.

Civilian Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Ass64.png Staff Assistant Produce mass quantities of bathsalts in maint, Be a nuisance, ruin everything. Easy Maintenance
Chef64.png Chef Shout indecipherable gibberish at Botany. Deep-fry everything. Make non-Euclidean sandwiches. Easy Kitchen
Jobchap.png Chaplain Steal corpses for funerals, fart on your bible. Never be around when you are actually needed. Easy Chapel, Morgue
Jobbar.png Barman Get drunk, shoot your sweet gun at your bar patrons. Get subsequently looted by a mob. Easy Bar
Botanist.png Botanist Completely ignore the chef's requests, start a grow-op. Click your best plant yourself with a chainsaw. Easy to Medium Hydroponics, Maintenance
Jobjan.png Janitor Clean already clean floors, whine about beatings. Stuff everything into your trash cart. Easy to Hard Janitor's Closet, Medbay, Morgue, Maintenance
Jobclown.png Clown Trip on your own shoes, regret your existence immediately. Save the station when nobody expects it. Get beaten for your efforts. H o n k Maintenance

Maintenance Jobs

These jobs are charged with station upkeep and engineering support.

Maintenance Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobelec.png Mechanic Ask nicely to scan the captain's energy gun, then run off with it. Suffocate while building a pod. Place Graviton traps all over the hallways. Medium Electronics, Maintenance, hack into everything
Jobeng.png Engineer Use up all the plasma immediately, die in an explosion. Assault people who take insulated gloves. Easy to Medium Engineering, Maintenance, hack into everything
Jobminer.png Miner Completely ignore the mineral magnet, fuck off into space. Run out of air. Easy to Medium Mining Department, Mining Outpost, Maintenance
Jobqmas.png Quartermaster Buy bees and booze. Blow the budget on exotic trinkets. Point and stare at the tourists in the Cargo Bay. Medium Cargo Bay, Maintenance

Research Jobs

These jobs are charged with researching new, exciting technologies and breakthroughs as well as providing medical treatment.

Research Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Med64.png Medical Doctor Never heal anyone, whine when people take medkits. Practice brain surgery on yourself. Harvest your own organs for cash. Medium Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Maintenance
Gen64.png Geneticist Make volunteers Swedish Elvis. Fight a losing battle against lab monkeys. Hard Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Genetics, Maintenance
Rob64.png Roboticist Steal all the butts. Demand skulls for the skull throne. Give a botanist chainsaw arms. Get murdered by the Cyborgs you built. Medium Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Robotics, Maintenance
Jobsci.png Scientist Ignore the Artifact Lab, synthesize nerve agents without a mask. Steal the AI with Telescience. Heat the burn mix canister, burn to death in a massive fire. Hard Artifact Lab, Chemistry, Toxins, Research Sector, Teleporter Lab

Personnel Jobs

These jobs are the administration of the station. They manage the station and ensure everyone is safe and productive.

Personnel Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Sec64.gif Security Officer Do your job correctly, beat the utter shit out of the Clown. Arouse anger from those you've sworn to protect. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later and get farted on until you quit. Underappreciated Security, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors, Maintenance
Jobdet.png Detective Shoot at the Captain. Have your vital gear stolen by someone. Have one too many at the Bar. Easy to Hard Detective's Office, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors, Maintenance
Jobceng.png Chief Engineer Realize you have no clue how to start the engine, die in a fire. Suffocate in areas you refuse to repair. Medium Engineering, Electronics, Cargo Bay, Mining Department, Mining Outpost, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance
MedicalDirector.png Medical Director Get less respect than a cardboard box. Anesthetize patients with your gun. Donate all your blood. Medium Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Pathology, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance
Jobhor.png Research Director Sell "medicinal" drugs for cash. Make the Guardbuddies arrest everyone. Delete the network. Explode into spiders. Medium to Hard Research, Artifacts, Toxins, Chemistry, Telescience, Teleporter, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance
Hos2012.gif Head of Security Get rehired, remind everyone why you were fired in the first place. Stomp your hat. Harder than Hard Make your own Captain-level ID (plus Head of Security's Office, Armory)
HoP64.png Head of Personnel Hand off your responsibilities to anyone willing. Disappear immediately and forever. Medium to Hard Make your own Captain-level ID
Capn2x.png Captain Shoot your cat, reprogram the AI and become Double Captain. Nightmarish Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)

Antagonist Roles

These are the enemies of the station. They commit murder and outrageous acts of violence against the crew.

Antagonist Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobtrait.png Traitor Buy a glowy sword. Hit yourself with the glowy sword. Be the villain the station deserves. Medium to Hard Depends on job
Dracula.png Vampire Stand in the Chapel. Bluhh!! Easy to Hard Depends on job
Joboper.png Nuclear Operative Speak over the radio two minutes in. Get shot by your own team. Explode before setting foot on the station. Hard Maintenance
Wizard64.png Wizard Run around trying to kill everyone, get electrocuted by the AI. Whine, respawn, repeat. Easy to Hard Walk through walls
Changeling.png Changeling Try to eat the chef's monkeys. Go loud, get shoved in the gibber while on fire. Easy to Hard Depends on job, pry doors open (shambler)
Wraith64.png Wraith Spook the crew's guts off. Get shot in the face when you manifest to gloat. Repeat once. Salty Irrelevant
BlobOvermind64.png Blob Expand, destroy everything, absorb the crew. Attract plasma fires like a magnet. All-consuming Irrelevant
GangLeader64.png Gang leader Spawn your closet outside Security. Get beat with a mop for spray painting the AI. Nightmarish Depends on job
GangMember64.png Gangster Join the gang with the coolest hats. Brutally murder other bustas. Hard Depends on job
Jobrev.png Revolutionary Greytide to your heart's content. Attempt to bring the spirit of Che Guevera to the station, channel Robespierre instead. Easy to Hard Depends on job
Jobspythief2.png Spy Thief Attempt to claim your bounty in the Bridge, only to find the captain waiting there with a gun. Easy to Hard Depends on job

Some antagonists are uncommon and normally only appear under certain circumstances.

Niche Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Werewolf64 2.png Werewolf Appearance: Random event
Run around with a top hat. Howl at the ice moon.
Hard Pry doors open
Predator64.png Predator Appearance: Random event
Hunt the crew for trophies. Get murdered by cyborgs in ten minutes or less.
Hard Pry doors open
Grinch.png Grinch Appearance: Christmas season
Destroy all the garland. Have your poisoned donuts forcefed to you.
Mean Depends on job

Special Roles

Special roles for players.

Special Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
AI64.png AI Get bored. Open doors. Turn the airbridges off. Psychologically devastating Everything
BJobcyborg2.gif Cyborg Ignore the AI, play dress-up. Write "fart" in tiles at escape, run out of power. Hard Everything
Jobmonkey.png Monkey Become the chef's assistant. Get put on the spike for sandwich pizza pie. Nightmarish Depends on job, walk under tables
Ghost.png Ghost Whine in deadchat. Desperately try to make Robotics and Genetics remember your corpse. Show off your haircut. Spooky Irrelevant

Drone64x64.png Ghost Drone Repair stuff. Get a shit hat put on you by some shadow. Attempt to take it off. Fail. Suicide out of misery. Easy to Medium Engineer

Job of the Day

Every day, one of these jobs will be available.

Job of the Day
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Tourist64.png Tourist Run around taking photos of the floor. Space yourself in minutes. Easy None
ViceOfficer64.png Vice Officer Raid Botany, smoke their weed. Raid the Kitchen, eat their burgers. Medium Security, Brig, Hydroponics, Kitchen, Bar, Maintenance
Lawyer64.png Lawyer Have your suitcase stolen, represent the thief in court. Easy Security, Brig, Maintenance
AtmosphericTechnician64.png Atmospheric Technician Gas the crew. Wonder why you don't have access to Engineering. Easy EVA, Maintenance
Barber64.png Barber Give a bald man an afro with barber magic. Dye it pink. Cut it off and wear it. Repeat. Frustrating Maintenance
Boxer64.png Boxer Punch the Captain in the face. Turn up naked in the Brig. Easy Maintenance
Mailman64.png Mailman Go postal. Suffocate while trying to get to your office. Easy Maintenance

Gimmick Jobs

A random selection of these jobs is available to those who join a round after it starts. They don't have very much of a job, leaving them to get into whatever antics they wish.

Note: Job titles in italics are alternative job titles, which are sometimes used in replacement of the standard one.

Gimmick Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
VIP65.png VIP (Senator, President, CEO, Board Member, Mayor, Vice-President, Governor) Indulge in rampant corporate scandal. Hire random thugs as bodyguards. Abuse your fancy cane. Medium Bridge
HollywoodActor64.png Hollywood Actor Attempt to channel your inner Rambo in the face of danger. Fail horribly. Easy None
RegionalDirector64.png Regional Director Pretend that you're important, get your all-access ID looted immediately. Medium Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)
Pharmacist64.png Pharmacist Synthesize "safe" and "effective" medication. Sell them to clueless assistants. Easy Research Corridors, Chemistry, Medbay, Morgue, Tech Storage, Maintenance
TestSubject64.png Test Subject Hide under tables. Insult people who can't understand you. Infuriate the entire station. Hard None, walk under tables
UnionRep64.png Union Rep Demand equal rights for staff assistants. Get arrested for inciting a mob. Medium None
Diplomat64.gif Diplomat (Ambassador) Try to establish peaceful relations between humans and skeletons as murderous skeletons roam the station. Medium None
Musician64.png Musician Lay down some smooth jams. Have a rap-off with a brobot, lose terribly. Easy None
Salesman64.png Salesman (Merchant) Start a black market, find no one willing to buy your wares. Get subsequently looted. Easy None
Journalist65.png Journalist Pursue the next big scoop. Ask the saber-wielding traitor if he has time for some questions. Tip your hat, explode. Easy None
Inspector64.png Inspector Criticize everyone at every possible opportunity. Get toolboxed by ungrateful crew members. Medium Medbay, Research Sector, Bridge, Computer Core, Bar, Kitchen, Hydroponics, Cargo Bay, Security, EVA, Maintenance
Coach64.png Coach Blow your whistle at people. Try playing dodgeball using wrenches. FEEL THE BURN. Easy None
SousChef64.png Sous Chef Criticize the chef's cooking skills. Get hit over the head with a rolling pin. Easy Kitchen
Waiter64.png Waiter Relay your customer's orders to the kitchen, receive nothing but silence. Slip on a pool of vomit. Easy Kitchen, Bar
Apiculturist.png Apiculturist (Apiarist) Bees. Bees everywhere. Easy Hydroponics, Maintenance

Admin Intervention

This is stuff that's either still in development, more or less abandoned for the time being, niche, or is entirely too ridiculous to be a regular feature.

Gimmick Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Hard-ModeTraitor64.png Hard-mode traitor Look up to the big boys, cry yourself to sleep because you don't get any of the fancy toys. Medium to Hard Depends on job
Wrestler64.png Wrestler Wrestle everybody and everything. Who needs that belt anyway? Medium Depends on job
Omnitraitor64.png Omnitraitor Spit acid, cast fireballs, summon bats, hit people with your sword - all at the same time! Trivial Pry doors open, walk through walls
Zombie64.png Zombie Moan for brains over the radio. Get beaten by a mob. Apocalyptic Depends on job

Discontinued Jobs

Jobs that are no longer available to players.

Discontinued Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
EliteSecurity64.png Elite Security Gave players more power to punish each other. Re-enacted the Stanford Prison Experiment immediately. Hard Everything
HeadSurgeon64.png Head Surgeon Tried to be the Medical Director way, way too early. Medium to Hard Bridge, Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Maintenance
Chemist64.png Chemist Blew up the station with nothing but potato chips and water. Drove admins to drink. Easy to Hard Chemistry, Research Corridors
Techassistant.png Technical Assistant Stole everything not nailed down in Engineering. Screwed up the Singularity three minutes in without fail. Easy Tech Storage, Maintenance
Medicalassistant.png Medical Assistant Stole everything not nailed down in Medbay. Demanded superpowers. Whined to admins when turned into a monkey. Easy Medbay, Maintenance
ConstructionWorker.png Construction Worker Let players build their own station in a sandbox environment. Failed to maintain people's interest in the long term. Easy You made your own access
Jobspy.png Spy Tried to fix what was wrong with Rev. Turned the station into Thunderdome anyway. Hard Depended on job

Jobs on Space Station 13
Command &
Captain · Head of Security · Head of Personnel · Chief Engineer · Research Director · Medical Director · Communications Officer · Security Officer · Detective
Medical &
Geneticist · Roboticist · Scientist · Medical Doctor
Engineering Quartermaster · Miner · Mechanic · Engineer · Construction Worker
Civilian Chef · Barman · Botanist · Janitor · Chaplain · Staff Assistant · Clown · Gimmick jobs
Jobs of the Day Mime · Barber · Mailman · Lawyer · Tourist · Vice Officer · Boxer
Antagonist Roles With own mode Blob · Changeling · Gang Member · Flockmind · Nuclear Operative · Spy Thief · Traitor · Revolutionary · Vampire · Wizard
Others Grinch · Predator · Krampus · Werewolf · Wraith · Wrestler · Zombie · Gimmick antagonist roles
Special Roles Artificial Intelligence · Cluwne · Critter · Cyborg · Ghost · Ghostdrone · Monkey · Santa Claus