Difference between revisions of "Jobs"

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(On the colors the job menus use for each job.)
(Actually, Regional Dir is still here it seems)
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|title=Regional Director
|description=Pretend that you're [[Head_of_Security|important]]; get your all-access ID looted immediately.
|access=Everything (minus [[Security_(place)#Head of Security's Office|Head of Security's Office]], [[Security_(place)#Armory|Armory]])}}

Revision as of 03:32, 10 June 2019

This is a list of every possible job to choose.

Please note!

While the job descriptions reflect some actual truths or common behaviors/occurances, they are mainly jokes and are not the actual job description. They should not be taken be interpreted as actual instructions or advice. Please don't randomly fight people as a staff assistant or build traps as a mechanic. Unless you're an antagonist of course.

In addition, if you're on the Goon RP #1 server, you're expected to respect your job's boundaries and put in some effort into doing your associated job duties--though, of course, you aren't expected to do it perfectly. See RP Rules in general and Rules #5 & #6 in particular for more details/explanations.

Goon #2 and #3 are not subject to RP #1'S restrictions, and you are thus allowed to do things not normally associated with your job, like repairing walls as a Chaplain or doing surgery as a Mechanic. Naturally, you aren't expected to do perfect either. However, things still get iffy and complicated if you want to perform duties normally done by Security Officers, like hunt down antags; when in doubt, adminhelp (Hotkey: F1) for clarification. And, of course, the Rules still apply.

Civilian Jobs

These are jobs that contribute to the crew's overall performance and efficiency, sometimes rarely. On the latejoin "Select a Job" and Job Preferences menus, these jobs are colored light blue, with the exception of Clown, which gets a gaudy hot pink.

Civilian Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Ass64.png Staff Assistant Produce mass quantities of bath salts in maint, be a nuisance, and ruin everything. Scavenge the station for weapons and gear weed and pills. Easy Maintenance
Chef64.png Chef Shout indecipherable gibberish at Botany. Deep-fry everything. Make non-Euclidean sandwiches. Place pies inside pies that contain pies. Easy Kitchen
Jobchap.png Chaplain Steal corpses for funerals. Fart on your bible. Never be around when you are actually needed. Hand out bibles to monkeys. Become the Buddhist-Jewish-Christian-Muslim-Hindu-Atheist-Satanist prophet the station needs. Easy Chapel, Morgue
Jobbar.png Barman Get drunk; shoot your sweet gun at your bar patrons. Get subsequently looted by a mob Beepsky while dealing with an angry staff assistant. Become a victim of Russian Roulette two minutes into the round. Easy Bar
Botanist.png Botanist Completely ignore the chef's requests; start a grow-op. Click your best plant yourself with a chainsaw. Petition the Captain to legalize marijuana. Easy to Medium Hydroponics, Maintenance
Jobjan.png Janitor Clean already clean floors; whine about beatings. Stuff everything into your trash cart. Clean up crime scenes before Security has a chance to investigate. Easy to Medium Janitor's Closet, Medbay, Morgue, Maintenance
Jobclown.png Clown Trip on your own shoes; regret your existence immediately. Save the station when nobody expects it. Get beaten for your efforts. Bully cluwnes to compensate for your terrible job. Consider going back to law school. H o n k ! Maintenance

Engineering Jobs

These jobs are charged with station upkeep and engineering support. On the latejoin "Select a Job" and Job Preferences menus, these jobs are colored orange yellow.

Engineering Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobelec.png Mechanic Ask nicely to scan the captain's energy gun, then run off with it. Suffocate while building a pod. Place Graviton traps all over the hallways. Become the ultimate hackerman. Medium Electronics, Maintenance, hack into everything
Jobeng.png Engineer Realize you have no idea how to start the engine, then use up all the plasma immediately and die in an explosion. Assault people who take insulated gloves. Easy to Medium Engineering, Maintenance, hack into everything
Jobminer.png Miner Completely ignore the mineral magnet; fuck off into space. Run out of air. In the ocean, intentionally accidentally strike a hotspot; wind up re-enacting the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake. Fly laps around the station. Medium Mining Department, Mining Outpost, Maintenance
Jobqmas.png Quartermaster Buy bees and booze. Blow the budget on exotic trinkets. Point and stare at the tourists in the Cargo Bay. Hire workers and start up your own delivery company. Medium Cargo Bay, Maintenance

Research Jobs

These jobs are charged with researching new, exciting technologies and breakthroughs as well as providing medical treatment. On the latejoin "Select a Job" and Job Preferences menus, these jobs are colored blue-purple/purple-blue.

Research Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Med64.png Medical Doctor Never heal anyone; whine when people take medkits. Practice brain surgery on yourself. Harvest monkey organs for cash. Join the round 30 minutes late just to find out you're the only doctor. Discover that Medbay has been looted and bombed. Perform a heart transplant while drunk and high. Focus all medical efforts on the Bar. Medium Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Maintenance
Gen64.png Geneticist Make volunteers Skeleton Swedish Elvis. Fight a losing battle against lab monkeys sentient lab monkeys. Ignore animal experimentation laws. Fail to create a bee-human hybrid. Commit crimes against humanity. Easy-Medium Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Genetics, Maintenance
Rob64.png Roboticist Steal all the butts for buttbots. Demand skulls for the skull throne. Give a botanist chainsaw arms. Get murdered by the Cyborgs you built. Build yourself a wife, leave her on the station when the escape shuttle arrives. Medium Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Robotics, Maintenance
Jobsci.png Scientist Ignore the Artifact Lab; synthesize nerve agents and drugs without a gas mask. Steal the AI using Telescience. Heat the burn mix canister, burn to death in a massive fire. Test dangerous concoctions on monkeys. Gain the undying loyalty of staff assistants with triple meth. Attract the love and hate of everyone. Attempt to combine every drug into one pill. Medium-Hard Artifact Lab, Chemistry, Toxins, Research Sector, Teleporter Lab

Command/Security Jobs

These jobs are the administration of the station. They manage the station and ensure everyone is safe and productive. On the latejoin "Select a Job" and Job Preferences menus, Security jobs are colored red, while Command ones are green.

Command/Security Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Sec64.gif Security Officer Do your job correctly; beat the utter shit out of the Clown. Arouse anger from those you've sworn to protect. Turn up dead and naked 20 minutes later and get farted on until you quit. Get the respect of a mall cop. Underappreciated (Hard) Security, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors, Maintenance
Jobdet.png Detective Shoot at the Captain. Have your vital gear stolen by someone. Have one too many at the Bar. Monologue the farts of you and your crew. Force journalists and tourists to follow you around. Easy to Hard Detective's Office, Brig, Medbay, Morgue, Research Corridors, Maintenance
Jobceng.png Chief Engineer Make the station hotter than the surface of the Sun; make hella bank. Suffocate in areas you're too lazy to repair. Medium Engineering, Electronics, Cargo Bay, Mining Department, Mining Outpost, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance
MedicalDirector.png Medical Director Get less respect than a cardboard box. Anesthetize patients with your gun. Donate Sell all your blood. Assign all your doctors to the gym. Medium Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Pathology, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance
Jobhor.png Research Director Sell "medicinal" drugs for cash. Make the Guardbuddies arrest everyone. Delete the network. Drug everyone so none may question your authority. Explode into spiders. Medium to Hard Research, Artifacts, Toxins, Chemistry, Telescience, Teleporter, Bridge, EVA, Maintenance
Hos2012.gif Head of Security Get rehired, remind everyone why you were fired in the first place. Stomp your hat. Put an end to any and all fun. Nightmarish Make your own Captain-level ID (plus Head of Security's Office, Armory)
HoP64.png Head of Personnel Hand off your responsibilities to anyone willing. Steal Acquire the captain's energy gun. Disappear immediately and forever. Medium to Hard Make your own Captain-level ID
Capn2x.png Captain Shoot your cat. reprogram the AI and become Double Captain. Get laid in front of singularities. Confiscate all drugs, alcohol, and cash. Hand off your job to the clown as soon as trouble arrives. Promote Beepsky to Head of Security. Make bee-harming illegal. All-Access Staff Assistant (Medium to Hard) Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)

Antagonist Roles

These are the enemies of the station. They commit murder and outrageous acts of violence against the crew.

Some antags are so bad, they have their own game modes.

Antagonist Roles With a Mode of Their Own
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Jobtrait.png Traitor Buy a glowy sword. Hit yourself with the glowy sword. Be the villain the station deserves. Medium to Hard Depends on job
NewNukeOp64.png Nuclear Operative Speak over the radio two minutes in. Get shot by your own team. Explode before setting foot on the station. Hard Maintenance
Wizard64.png Wizard Run around trying to kill everyone; get electrocuted by the AI. Whine, respawn, repeat. Easy to Hard Walk through walls
Changeling.png Changeling Try to eat the chef's monkeys. Go loud, then get shoved in the gibber while on fire. Easy to Hard Depends on job, pry doors open (shambler)
BlobOvermind64.png Blob Expand, destroy everything, absorb the crew. Attract plasma fires and pod lasers like a magnet. All-consuming Irrelevant
GangLeader64.png Gang leader Spawn your closet outside Security. Create a drug cartel. Get beat with a mop for spray painting the AI. Nightmarish Depends on job
GangMember64.png Gangster Join the gang with the coolest hats. Brutally murder other bustas. Medium Depends on job
Jobrev.png Revolutionary Greytide to your heart's content. Attempt to bring the spirit of Che Guevera to the station, channel Maximilien Robespierre instead. Easy to Hard Depends on job
Jobspythief2.png Spy Thief Attempt to claim your bounty in the Bridge, only to find the captain waiting there with a gun. Easy to Hard Depends on job
Dracula.png Vampire Stand in the Chapel. Bluhh!! Easy to Hard Depends on job

Some antagonists don't have their own modes and thus less common. Others only appear under certain circumstances.

Antagonist Roles Without Their Own Mode
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Werewolf64 2.png Werewolf Appearance: Mixed (Action) mode
Run around with a top hat. Howl at the ice moon.
Hard Pry doors open
Wraith64.png Wraith Appearance: Traitor and Mixed (Action) modes
Spook the crew's guts out. Get shot in the face when you manifest to gloat. Repeat once.
Salty Irrelevant
Wrestler64.png Wrestler Appearance: Mixed (Action) mode
Wrestle everybody and everything. Who needs that belt anyway?
Medium Depends on job
Predator64.png Predator Appearance: Random event
Hunt the crew for trophies. Get murdered by cyborgs in ten minutes or less.
Hard Pry doors open
Grinch.png Grinch Appearance: Christmas season
Destroy all the garland. Have your poisoned donuts forcefed to you.
Mean Depends on job
KRAMPUS64.png Krampus Appearance: Christmas season, special spawn
Squirm. Scream. Block doors. Get stuck in space.
Naughty None

Special Roles

Special roles for players.

Special Roles
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
AI64.png AI Open doors. Get bored. Retract airbridges. Purge all the nonhumans. Psychologically devastating Everything
BJobcyborg2.gif Cyborg Ignore the AI, play dress-up. Write "fart" in tiles at escape. Run out of power. Medium Everything
Jobmonkey.png Monkey Become the chef's assistant. Get put on the spike for sandwich pizza pie. Nightmarish Depends on job, walk under tables, climb into mail chutes
Cluwne2x.png Cluwne THE RINGMASTER DOESN'T RUN THE CIRCUS... HONK!!!! KILL ME PLEASE IT HURTS TO LIVE HONK HONK!!! Whatever ID you used to have, assuming no enterprising thieves steal it
Ghost.png Ghost Whine in deadchat. Desperately try to make Robotics and Genetics remember your corpse. Show off your haircut. Give advice to the local poltergeist. Spooky Irrelevant

Drone64x64.png Ghost Drone Repair stuff. Get a shit hat put on you by some shadow. Attempt to take it off. Fail. Suicide out of misery. Easy Engineer
RoachNew64.png Critter Drink beer. Eat food. Steal crayons. Get squished. Easy Depends on the critter.
Santa64.png Santa Claus Flood the station with presents and snacks. Spread the magic of Christmas/Spacemas wherever you go. Jolly Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)

Job of the Day

Every day, one of these jobs will be available.

Job of the Day
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Tourist64.png Tourist Run around taking photos of the floor. Space yourself within minutes. Easy None
ViceOfficer64.png Vice Officer Raid Botany; smoke their weed. Raid the Kitchen; eat their burgers. Medium Security, Brig, Hydroponics, Kitchen, Bar, Maintenance
Lawyer64.png Lawyer Have your suitcase stolen; represent the thief in court. Easy Security, Brig, Maintenance
Barber64.png Barber Give a bald man an afro with barber magic. Dye it pink. Cut it off and wear it. Repeat. Frustrating Maintenance
Boxer64.png Boxer Punch the Captain in the face. Turn up naked in the Brig. Easy Maintenance
Mailman64.png Mailman Go postal. Suffocate while trying to get to your office. Easy Maintenance

Gimmick Jobs

All these jobs are exclusively available to those who join a round after it starts, though slots are still limited, of course. They don't have very much of a job, leaving them to get into whatever antics they wish. On the latejoin "Select a Job" menu, they appear in regular black font and under the "Special Jobs" header. (Try not to read too much into it.)

Note: Job titles in italics are alternative job titles, which are sometimes used in replacement of the standard one.

Gimmick Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
VIP65.png VIP (Senator, President, CEO, Board Member, Mayor, Vice-President, Governor) Indulge in rampant corporate scandal. Hire random thugs as bodyguards. Abuse your fancy cane. Get overthrown by security. Medium Bridge
RegionalDirector64.png Regional Director Pretend that you're important; get your all-access ID looted immediately. Medium Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)
Pharmacist64.png Pharmacist Synthesize "safe" and "effective" medication. Sell them to clueless assistants. Create Strange Reagent all day, every day. Easy Research Corridors, Chemistry, Medbay, Morgue, Tech Storage, Maintenance
TestSubject64.png Test Subject Hide under tables. Insult people who can't understand you. Infuriate the entire station. Hard None, walk under tables, climb into mail chutes
UnionRep64.png Union Rep Demand equal rights for staff assistants. Get arrested for inciting a mob. Medium None
Diplomat64.gif Diplomat (Ambassador) Try to establish peaceful relations between humans and skeletons as murderous skeletons roam the station. Medium None
Musician64.png Musician Lay down some smooth jams. Have a rap-off with a brobot; lose terribly. Easy None
Salesman64.png Salesman (Merchant) Start a black market; find no one willing to buy your wares. Get subsequently looted. Easy None
Journalist65.png Journalist Pursue the next big scoop. Ask the saber-wielding traitor if he has time for some questions. Tip your hat; explode. Easy None
Inspector64.png Inspector Criticize everyone at every possible opportunity. Get toolboxed by ungrateful crew members. Medium Medbay, Research Sector, Bridge, Computer Core, Bar, Kitchen, Hydroponics, Cargo Bay, Security, EVA, Maintenance
Coach64.png Coach Blow your whistle at people. Try playing dodgeball using wrenches. FEEL THE BURN. Easy None
SousChef64.png Sous Chef Criticize the chef's cooking skills. Get hit over the head with a rolling pin. Easy Kitchen
Waiter64.png Waiter Relay your customer's orders to the kitchen; receive nothing but silence. Slip on a pool of vomit. Easy Kitchen, Bar
Apiculturist.png Apiculturist (Apiarist) Bees. Bees everywhere. Easy Hydroponics, Maintenance
RadioHost64.png Radio Show Host (Talk Show Host) Host a radio show to keep the crew entertained. Be ignored. Play fart music out of boredom. Easy Maintenance
Psych64.png Psychologist (Therapist, Psychotherapist) Cover the Clown in gold star stickers. Prescribe amphetamines for every problem. Succumb to madness. Easy Medbay, Morgue, Pathology, Maintenance
HeadSurgeon64.png Head Surgeon Have an identity crisis with a cardboard box/medibot & a Markov chain bot. Try to reestablish your authority over the Medical department. Get shot by guy who superseded you. Medium to Hard Bridge, Medbay, Genetics, Robotics, Morgue, Pathology, Maintenance
Mime64.png Mime Have your hat AND mask stolen by the Clown. Attempt to explain how your vow of silence is not a vow at all in screams and farts. Get shot in the face while typing your custom emote. . . . Maintenance

Admin Intervention

This is stuff that's either still in development, more or less abandoned for the time being, niche, or is entirely too ridiculous to be a regular feature.

Gimmick Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
Hard-ModeTraitor64.png Hard-mode Traitor Look up to the big boys; cry yourself to sleep because you don't get any of their fancy toys. Medium to Hard Depends on job
Omnitraitor64.png Omnitraitor Spit acid, cast fireballs, summon bats, hit people with your sword - all at the same time! Trivial Pry doors open, walk through walls
Zombie64.png Zombie Moan for brains over the radio. Get beaten by a mob. Apocalyptic Depends on job
Featherdrone-flockmind.gif Flockmind Shout indecipherable nonsense at the AI. Get completely ignored. Boss around your drones. Get completely ignored. Work in Progress Irrelevant
SyndicateSpecialOperative64.png Syndicate Special Operative Get shot by your own team-mates. Slip over your own blood, lose your rifle to an Assistant. Explode. Turkey Shoot to Cannon Fodder Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)
NTSOOperative64.png NT-SO Special Operative Fire you gun incessantly just to hear it pew-pew. Lose your laser assault rifle to a Clown. Defeat an ancient eldritch monster from the stars, only to die of suffocation. Contra to X-COM Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)
BATTLER64.png Battler Spend on your syndie donks on Space damage. Get attacked while waiting for the lootbox opening animation to finish. Escape, only to die to a BATTLE STORM. April Fool Everything (minus Head of Security's Office, Armory)

Discontinued Jobs

Jobs that are no longer available to players.

Discontinued Jobs
Mugshot Job Title Description Difficulty Access
EliteSecurity64.png Elite Security Gave players more power to punish each other; re-enacted the Stanford Prison Experiment immediately. Hard Everything
Chemist64.png Chemist Blew up the station with nothing but potato chips and water. Drove admins to drink. Easy to Hard Chemistry, Research Corridors
Techassistant.png Technical Assistant Stole everything not nailed down in Engineering. Screwed up the Singularity three minutes in without fail. Easy Tech Storage, Maintenance
Medicalassistant.png Medical Assistant Stole everything not nailed down in Medbay. Demanded superpowers. Whined to admins when turned into a monkey. Easy Medbay, Maintenance
AtmosphericTechnician64.png Atmospheric Technician Gassed the crew. Started more fires than they were supposed to stop. Lost relevance after atmospherics was significantly streamlined and revamped. Easy EVA, Maintenance
ConstructionWorker.png Construction Worker Let players build their own station in a sandbox environment. Failed to maintain people's interest in the long term. Easy You made your own access
Jobspy.png Spy Tried to fix what was wrong with Rev. Turned the station into Thunderdome anyway. Hard Depended on job
Intruder64.png Intruder Attempted to re-enact the The Colour Out of Space. Discontinued by higher inscrutable powers before it could even land. Eldritch Float through walls
Martian64.png Martian Harvested the station crew for meat and turned them into fellow spaghetti monsters. Abandoned due to spaghetti code. Squishy None

Jobs on Space Station 13
Command &
Captain · Head of Security · Head of Personnel · Chief Engineer · Research Director · Medical Director · Communications Officer · Security Officer · Detective · Nanotrasen Security Operative‎
Medical &
Geneticist · Roboticist · Scientist · Medical Doctor
Engineering Quartermaster · Miner · Mechanic · Engineer
Civilian Chef · Bartender · Botanist · Rancher · Janitor · Chaplain · Staff Assistant · Radio Host · Clown · Gimmick jobs
Jobs of the Day Mime · Barber · Mailman · Lawyer · Tourist · Part-Time Vice Officer · Boxer
Antagonist Roles With own mode Blob · Changeling · Conspirator · Gang Member · Flockmind · Nuclear Operative · Spy Thief · Traitor · Revolutionary · Vampire · Wizard
Others Grinch · Hunter · Krampus · Werewolf · Wraith · Wrestler · Zombie · Gimmick antagonist roles
Special Roles Artificial Intelligence · Battler · Cluwne · Critter · Cyborg · Ghost · Ghostdrone · Monkey · Santa Claus